


Escaping Purgatory

by Zionxi



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angry Biotics, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Follows mission requirements, Garrus is a good friend, Grunt is Grunt, Kaidan as Subject Zero, Kaidan is a broken boy, Mass Effect 2, Slow Burn, Subject Zero Alenko, anger issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 118,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26272894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zionxi/pseuds/Zionxi
Summary: Kaidan takes the place of Jack in the re-imagining of Mass Effect 2.Delving a little deeper into the relationships that Shepard has with her crew mates as she tries to gather the best of the best to ensure that the Collectors stopped from harvesting humans.Missions are played out as they would happen in game, downtime between missions are elaborated on.Kaidan Alenko, former Staff-Lieutenant in the Alliance Marines found himself released from his cryo captivity aboard the Purgatory prison ship by the same organisation that left him broken and cut adrift.He finds himself working with Shepard but for Cerberus, the font of his former pain. Can he work through his mistrust and anger to ensure that the pledge he made to get the mission completed won't be broken, and can he fight his demons to ensure that if they make it back through the Omega 4 Relay, Shepard will want to be at his side?
Relationships: Female Shepard & Garrus Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Dossier: The Convict

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Through A Mirror Darkly](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6049996) by [Vorcha_Girl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vorcha_Girl/pseuds/Vorcha_Girl). 



Miranda handed over the dossier for the next proposed recruit. Shifting back in her seat she folded her hands together and leant on her desk, waiting for Shepard to leaf through the information contained inside the brown folder. She knew what was in inside there, the Illusive Man had passed it on to her, despite Miranda’s doubts about this selection. It was now her job to ensure that Shepard was on board with this ‘choice’ candidate.

Shepard paced the width of the XO’s office, her boots ringing out lightly on the metal floor. Miranda let her eyes follow the Commanders movements, watching as Shepard moved under the bright lights in the office, her features suddenly illuminated as she read the history of the person that the Illusive Man thought they would need to be able to complete what was being quickly termed the ‘suicide mission’.

Shepard didn’t find it pleasant reading, that was for sure. She pushed back a wisp of her black hair as she finally dropped down with a sigh into one of the chairs situated under the window. This was going to be an interesting one, but she knew that she needed all the help she could get and due to her hands being chained to Cerberus, she was in no position to be picky as those who she might have counted on to help before were swiftly put off by the logo she now found everywhere around her. She fucking _hated_ it. 

“There are plenty of biotics who are powerful without needing to resort to a violent criminal. I mean, what’s the point of me even reading this? Half of this file is redacted, what exactly makes… ‘K’ so special?” Shepard mused as she flicked idly though the papers, trying to see if there was anything that she had missed that would reveal just why risking security and safety was necessary just for some supposedly high-powered biotics.

Miranda stood up and went to the side of the desk, leaning herself against the edge, trying to appear less of a ringmaster and more of a confidant. Sitting behind the XO’s desk with banks of terminals that linked right back to the Illusive Man wouldn’t instil Shepard with confidence in what Miranda herself had to say on the matter, she knew that much. She folded her arms and sighed, this was going exactly how the Illusive Man had said it would. Somehow he just knew that Shepard wasn’t going to like this one, and so Miranda had put it off as long as reasonably possible without allowing the Illusive Man to think that she was backing out, but the time was up. Cerberus had finished the negotiations for release weeks ago so they _had_ to pick up their mysterious biotic.

“Let’s just say that our biotic friend has had dealings with Cerberus before, we know them. Unfortunately, there are just parts in there that even I am not privileged enough to know about, that’s the joy of working in individual cells I’m afraid. The redactions are protection for them rather than hiding things from us.” She hoped it was true, that the redactions were to do with another Cell within Cerberus rather than redactions of what this Biotic had done. At the very least, she hoped that Shepard thought that was true. Shepard already didn’t trust her or Cerberus and if she were given half a chance, Miranda knew that this mission and all it’s careful planning would be out the airlock in minutes.

Shepard stood up and threw the dossier back on Miranda’s desk. The XO tipped her head to the side, her mouth set in a grim line. Shepard’s actions indicated that she was leaning to the side of not accepting this recruit. And if that happened, this may very well be an actual suicide mission if they were going to be going into the Relay a person short.

Shepard resumed her pacing. If Miranda wasn’t going to talk then there was no point to keep looking at bits of paper with more black marks on it than words. The XO dropped her head slightly and looked at Shepard sideways. Now she needed to turn on the charm and get the Commander to agree to their pickup, find the right words and logic to ensure that the mission was not affected. It was going to be a delicate task though, even if she was further up the chain in Cerberus, Shepard was still the commanding officer on the Normandy, pissing her off now would not be smart.

“There isn’t even a photo,” Shepard gestured at the folder that was now strewn over the desk. “how are we supposed to know that they have released the right prisoner? They could fuck us over and leave us with some useless psycho while they keep the real deal.” Shepard wrinkled her nose up at the whole scenario, it was stupid and risky as hell but she also knew that she had her hands tied. Clearly the Illusive Man thought that she needed this person to ensure that this mission would succeed, so she had to agree to it or failure would be on her shoulders. She walked to the door, waving her hand through the green hologram to open it before stepping out backwards. “I take it that their experience with Cerberus hasn’t been a good one,” Shepard scoffed, her dislike of Cerberus, regardless of what they had done for her, slipping out. “so I think I will be leaving you and Jacob to man the ship while I take some less potentially ‘aggravating’ teammates down to collect.”

“As you wish, Commander.” Miranda nodded, seating herself back at her desk ready to send off a summary report to the Illusive Man. I was going to be a more positive report than she had imagined it was going to be, so that would have to be her consolation prize for being snubbed from the pick-up team. The door slid shut as Shepard turned on her heel and left. Miranda sighed lightly and a grin tweaked at the corner of her mouth before she shook her head and turned her attention to the glowing orange screen in front of her.

* * *

“What the actual fuck?” Shepard growled at Garrus as he plugged in numbers to the main gun terminal. He laughed lightly, mandibles flaring slightly, he had seen her get frustrated before, when they were chasing Seren all over the galaxy with little help from the council.

“I don’t know what to say to you, Shepard, we knew that Cerberus were slippery bastards but here we are.” He said in that level two-tone voice that Turians seemed to have. Garrus didn’t look up but he could tell that she would have that tell-tale red flush starting at her hairline by the cheekbones, the mark that told you to keep the hell out of her way for at least a few hours. _If_ you knew her as well as he did. Luckily, with the amount of time in each other’s company that they had already had, Garrus was one of the few people that could get away with pressing her about what the matter was without getting his head bitten off. That and he was one of the few friendly faces in a sea of unknowns, that worked in his favour too.

“Tell me I’m being paranoid.” She pressed, not willing to let this drop. Garrus sighed and leant forward over the console, his head almost leaning on the manifold, he wasn’t going to get any calibrating down while she was in this frame of mind. Pushing himself upright he turned to her as she sat on a crate to his right.

“I can’t tell you you’re being paranoid Shepard because we’ve both seen what Cerberus can do and it isn’t pretty. They might try and blame a rogue cell for one thing, but we’ve seen more than one go bad, and that can’t be a coincidence…” She went to say something but Garrus held up his hands, shushing her until he had managed to say his bit. “But, they also poured a lot of credits into you and this ship, and while I hate to admit it, your Alliance currently to be sat on its hands on the Collector issue. So yes, you’re paranoid but with good reason, so I suggest to use it to your advantage.”

He folded his arms and leant against the edge of the console, a small _thunk_ as his hardsuit connected to it. He kept his sharp eyes on her, watching her expression as she processed everything he had said. Shepard frowned; she knew that what he had said was right, hell, she had been thinking the same thing but the niggling feeling that maybe she was being too harsh on them had crept in. Now though, she felt a bit annoyed that she had let those doubts in, especially as the one person who had been through it all aside from Joker was now telling her exactly what she should have trusted herself to know.

“You gonna come with me in the team?” Shepard asked finally after mentally giving herself a kick.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, now, if you don’t mind,” Garrus smirked, “this gun isn’t going to calibrate itself.”

Shepard had to smile, and she closed her eyes and nodded at him as he laughed, mandibles flaring out looking like a grin. He was always bloody calibrating something and seeing as he no longer had his beloved Mako to tinker with, it was the big ass gun that got the ‘Garrus touch’. She got up from the crate and put a hand on his shoulder as he turned back to the console, giving him a slight shake so that he could appreciate the gesture even with his hard suit on.

Shepard moved out of the battery and through the mess hall, nodding at the crew that were present. She looped around behind the table and disappeared from view, moving her hand through the green hologram to call the elevator to the crew deck. As she stepped in, she almost pressed the button for CIC but then swooped her hand up and pressed the one for her quarters. The door slowly shut, the accent upwards began, she smiled lightly at the smoothness of the ride and how it was hell of a lot faster than the one on the old Normandy.

Crossing the threshold of her cabin she absentmindedly touched the panel in the middle of the aquarium and toggled the fish to be fed as she passed down the steps to the sleeping area and pulled up her armour program. Going through different options that were available, she had to try and improve her set up for the pick-up. Deciding to sacrifice her shield boost for raw power to her biotic abilities would be the best option, especially if Garrus was with her. Plus, she deliberated, if she brought Grunt she could just hang at the back and crowd control if this all went horribly wrong. It seemed perfect but she still hesitated to lock in the choices.

Even with new gear, how was she supposed to crowd control the supposedly most powerful biotic? Should she get to the med bay and have Chakwas alter her nodes so that she can pick up a different skill set for this mission? Maybe she should pick up Reave? Her amp was sure to burn hotter than the sun after a while but if things went to shit being able to syphon some of this ‘K’s’ power would make them less harmful and less likely that they would need to be pacified with a bullet between their eyes.

She flicked through the options and settled with new armour pieces and clicked ‘ok’ with a final sigh, knowing that the items would be ready in her locker the next time that she went down to the shuttles. Glancing in the mirror at her reflection, looking at her grey eyes and dark shoulder length hair, she smoothed out the front of her BDU’s without even thinking about it. She looked at her own face and wondered what it would feel like or look like to Reave someone. Would she be able to control it? Would she get drunk off the power and not be able to stop?

Shaking her head slightly, she tucked her shirt firmly into her trousers and set her steely gaze upon herself, trying to solidify the notion that this was the best course of action. Stepping back, her eyes fell to the datapads on her desk, reports for previous ground teams that she should be reading over and then sending to Miranda to compile before sending them over to the Illusive Man.

She hadn’t been asked for them yet, so in all honesty she hadn’t been bothered to forward them on. It felt _wrong_ to not be sending them to Anderson or Hackett, maybe she should anyway? Anderson would want to know how she’s getting on, even if he distrusted Cerberus as much as she did. Then again, he might be obliged to forward them to the Alliance Brass, which could make things difficult for her if she was going to ever succeed at stopping theses Collector attacks on human colonies. She inhaled deeply, breathing out through her mouth to clear her head and go into ‘Commander’ mode before she left her cabin and entered the elevator again to get to the crew deck and the med bay.

* * *

“And what do I owe the pleasure, Commander?” Dr. Chakwas asked, her British accent seemed to just add to her ‘Doctor’ status, you didn’t argue with her and she was not above putting you in your place if needed, even if you were a lowly Lieutenant or Admiral of the Fleet. She swung around in her chair to face Shepard but didn’t bother getting up. Her science uniform was pristine and her grey hair, cut into a shapely bob was immaculate. But then so was her med bay, fully stocked, clean and comfortable. Chakwas ruled in here and it was her personal rule that formalities and rank were left at the door, unless she was the one imposing them.

“I need to calibrate my nodes to perform a new skill.”

“Oh? And what skill is that?” Chakwas was more curious than concerned, always fascinated how Shepard’s experimental implant coped with the tweaking that went with changing skills.

“Reave.” Shepard added, deadpan as she sat down on the bed that held the machine that would calibrate her implant and nodes.

“That’s some skill you’re picking.” for once Chakwas slipped from her usual bedside manner and concern crept around the edges. “Special occasion?”

“Picking up a recruit tomorrow, a Biotic. Just looking to cover my own arse if things go wrong.”

“Understandable. Now if you just hold still, we will get those nodes updated.”

Her amp tingled as her implant whirred up, sending licks of blue down her arms. It felt like pins and needles as all of her nodes altered their power configuration slightly to allow her to utilise Reave. Chakwas strode over and pushed slightly on the back of Shepards head, nudging her to look down and exposed the amp situated at the base of her skull. The Doctor opened up her Omni-Tool and started running the program that Cerberus had given her to ensure that Shepard and the implant were running fine.

“Well, everything seems to be in line, you might want to go down to one of the cargo bays or that space below engineering to just give it a whirl and get used to controlling it before you have to use it in the field.” Chakwas closed down the program and moved back to her desk to upload the information it had gathered for her file on the Commander.

“Thanks,” Shepard noted as she got down from the bed, “I should go.”

“Anytime, Commander, I’m always here.” The Doctor called out to her; eyes still fixed on the data streaming across the terminal.

* * *

“So, we go down, pick up the criminal and come back?” Garrus asked, tucking some spare thermal clips he had snagged from the Armory into his suit. Grunt was waiting by the shuttle already, his eagerness to get going and bashing heads meant he was prepared before she had even suited up..

“You don’t need to sound _so_ optimistic Garrus.” Shepard quipped but her grin said she wasn’t serious. She was glad that he was coming, someone who would have her six that she could rely on completely. Someone who had been with her from the start and knew how she fought, he didn’t need verbal directions, she could just make eye contact with him and he would know as clear as day what she was telling him. Not that she couldn’t rely on Grunt, he had proved himself to be more than capable but their battlefield relationship wasn’t quite there yet and Shepard wondered if that was something to do with the fact that he was tank bred. His blood rage, violence, skill with a shotgun and rifle clearly were because of being tank bred, rather than being hampered by it. So he was a perfect addition to the team whenever Shepard took Garrus ground side and he followed her lead as his Battle Master without complaint.

“Are you ready Shepard?” The Krogan asked in his deep voice with a chuckle as she walked over to him, watching as he turned his shotgun around in his hands. Shepard had seemed hesitant pulling on her new shoulder guards and showed some uncertainty over the visor that she had picked instead of the full helmet. It made her feel vulnerable rather than bolder, even if it was supposed to bolster the already formidable power that her implant granted her.

“Right about now I wish I had trained as an Infiltrator.” She confessed as she swung up into the troop deck of the shuttle, with Grunt following behind. She had been an Adept all the way through her training with the Alliance, her old L3 implant being the main reason. She couldn’t spike as high as the L2’s but her sustainability made her perfect for causing continued havoc with enemies while her teammates picked them off. She just had to hope that it was going to be enough now though, but then that was another reason to bring Grunt.

“Just do what you always do, Shepard,” Garrus laughed behind her as he scrambled into the deck, securing his sniper rifle to his back. “Just play with them and then throw them away.”

“Lets hope it doesn’t come to that.” She mused, before tapping the back of their pilot’s chair lightly and gave the order to move out when they were cleared to go. “Joker? Are we green?”

“All green Commander, releasing the shuttle bay now. You are clear to drop.”

The wall of the shuttle bay yawned open, the blackness of space opened in front of them, only marred by the prison ship that came into view. Shepard felt a cold shock slip up her back as she looked though the viewport. Even from the safety of the shuttle, looking out into space from anything other than an atmosphere or reinforced glass drew her mind back to her death, she shuddered slightly to shake off the memories and turned back to face her two team mates as the shuttle started to move. They were going to get dropped off first to get everything started while the Normandy was allocated a dock. Shepard wanted this to be over as quickly as possible, not to mention as _cleanly_ as possible considering their new recruit was a criminal with a list of infractions longer than most of the crew’s service records combined.

After being given clearance to enter a cargo dock and dropped them off, the shuttle went back to the Normandy to allow the ship to begin their own arrival. Shepard, Garrus and Grunt made their way up a rather sparse corridor before being greeted by a Turian and several other guards.

“No weapons are allowed further than this point, please relinquish them until the transaction is complete and then they may be collected prior to departure.” He sounded like a broken record, saying this scripted order with no enthusiasm or conviction.

“I don’t think so,” Shepard glared, no one was taking her weapons from her.

“It is non-negotiable and the prison rules. There are plenty of guards should you require help but we cannot have rogue weapons in the cell blocks.”

“And what about the weapons you can’t take?” She asked as blue light started to flicker down her arm and coalesce in her palm. Shepard was in no mood to take this bullshit, this whole recruitment had trouble written all over it and if these ‘men’ playing as prison guards didn’t realise that physical weapons were not the only way to cause havoc then they clearly were not military trained.

“At ease, three armed guests are not going to cause us more trouble than we can handle.” Another Turian came out of a doorway, dressed in a Blue Suns hardsuit and stepped trough the group of guards currently blocking the ground team’s way.

“And you are?” Shepard asked, crossing her arms and leaning back on one leg as indifference came off her in waves.

“I am Warden Kuril, I run this facility. And you must be Commander Shepard…” He extended his hand to her, trying to diffuse the atmosphere that was pressing down in the confines of the corridor. Shepard took it and slowly gave him one firm handshake before releasing her grip. Kuril faltered slightly before picking up where he left off suddenly. “I’m here to oversee the transfer, so if you will please follow me.”

He turned on his heel as the guards parted to let them through. Stepping through the door he had originally come from the corridor snaked its way past a large open space. The far wall was covered in what seemed to be pods and a giant mechanical arm was busy extracting some of them and placing them out of sight on the wall that the corridor followed. Shepard and Garrus stopped to watch and heard Kuril clear his throat.

“This is the maximum-security wing, you’re looking at the pods containing the worst scum of the galaxy, where they are kept securely and individually, for their own benefit as much as anyone else’s. If they misbehave the pods are able to be ejected, removing the potential for disruption to the rest of the prison population.”

“Something like this must be expensive to run, and I can’t believe you are doing it out of the goodness of your heart…” Garrus turned back to Kuril, fixing him with his bright blue eyes. Watching intently for every movement the warden made, every expression that might give away his real motive.

“My motives are indeed honourable; I have watched too many criminals evade justice because of slow reactions and underhand dealings. Which is where this place came in. I take the criminals off of their hands and in return they pay a fee to ensure that I am able to keep them locked up.”

Kuril looked smug about it but Shepard was not convinced that his motives were as honourable as he was making them out to be.

“And what happens if someone decided that they don’t want to pay anymore?”

“Then we warn them that their prisoner will be released back on their planet at an undisclosed time and location, leaving them to deal with them, _if_ they can catch them again. It rarely comes to that though. Most know that what we are doing allows them the maximum damage reduction while being the most cost-effective solution.

Shepard snorted at the insinuation; she had seen set up’s like this before, just not on this scale. “So, you’re running and extortion racket. And it’s just coincidence that you’re wearing Mercenary colours too, I guess?”

“This is no extortion racket, Commander. This is providing security and safety for thousands of civilians who may ordinarily be at risk from some of the most dangerous criminals the galaxy has to offer.”

“And who is paying for ‘K’?”

“Earth… Did they not supply you with this information? I thought you would have known who you were collecting…”

Shepard opened her mouth to follow up on that information when Kuril moved away, clearly uninterested in continuing.

“I must leave you to continue to Outprocessing, there is much that demands my attention here and I cannot delay any further unfortunately. Just follow this corridor and stay to the left at the junction. I will contact the guard organising the handover when the credits have cleared. Good day.” Kuril nodded and went back up the corridor, leaving Shepard, Garrus and Grunt to carry on without him.

As they made their way up the corridor, they saw the pods that had been brought over, locked into smaller docking bays that allowed guards to access them and the inmates to opportunity to converses with whoever called for them to be brought there. Getting closer to the first pod, they all stopped in horror as a guard viciously beat a prisoner that had been summoned. The guard in the pod was looming over him, kicking and hitting him with a small bar of some kind. Ruthless in his attacks and unwavering as he cried on the floor. Garrus stepped up, standing right next to the other guard that was standing watch, unmoved, on their side of the glass.

“You shouldn’t be doing this. Everyone knows that you don’t get a straight answer out of someone you’re beating to death. They will tell you anything to make it stop.” He whispered to the guard. Hands behind his back as he assessed what was going on in front of him.

“I know, he wasn’t going to be able to give us any information that we needed anyway.”

“Then how do you know when to stop?”

“They rotate the guards so that they don’t kill anyone.”

“Call it off, this degrades you as much as it does him.” Garrus gestured to the human who was curled up on the floor with his knees to his chest and trying desperately to protect his head as the Turian guard aimed a boot towards him.

“You’re right,” The guard sighed and activated his comm to talk to the guard in the pod. “Call it off, he doesn’t know anything.”

Garrus turned and moved away, his mandibles flaring with anger as he caught up with Shepard and Grunt as they talked to another human who’s pod had also been brought over.

“Look can you get me out? Pay for my release? I can’t stay here anymore; I can’t take what they do to us.” He rubbed his arms and scrubbed a hand through his hair as he looked around with wild eyes.

“What are you in for?” Shepard asked, her tone level so that she didn’t give him any false hope.

“I murdered a few people, maybe twenty? But that’s nothing compared to what some of these people have done. They hold it over you at every opportunity, meal times, recreation times, even in the shower,” He chewed his bottom lip and went quite before moving toward the glass to whisper to her. “I haven’t showered in months…”

Shepard knew exactly what kind of humiliation this inmate had been through. She baulked slightly, he didn’t look more than late teens, on the cusp of adulthood.

“I’m here to collect a prisoner known as ‘K’. I’m sorry but I wasn’t planning on buying anyone else out.”

“You’re here for K? Forget I said anything then, I’m not going anywhere near your ship if K’s going to be on board.” He turned back to the bunk at the rear of the pod and sat on the floor facing away from them, this conversation clearly over. Shepard and Grunt glanced at each other. How bad was ‘K’ if a fellow maximum-security prisoner didn’t want to be anywhere near them?

“Seems like ‘K’ is a lot worse than their dossier made out, Shepard, that can’t be good?” Garrus mused as they carried on down the corridor, glancing briefly though the glass to watch the inmates who were allowed to roam in the main hall in front of the bank of pods. The door marked ‘Outprocessing’ opened quietly as they approached, Garrus nodding quickly at Shepard as they stepped through slowly, assessing their surroundings. Warden Kuril’s voice came sharply over the intercom, breaking the silence that had greeted them.

“If you enter the door at the end, you’ll be in the transfer area. I am just waiting for the credits to come through but I have connection to the Cerberus network so I trust this transaction enough to speed it along.”

Shepard nodded at nothing in particular and waved her hand through the green hologram to open the door. It raised up in one swift motion and no doubt would come back down too at the same speed, cutting off any chance to escape once you were in there. Shepard’s training however ensured that she didn’t just blindly walk into a room without checking it, and it paid off. Kuril had tried to get her to walk straight into a pod, just like the ones that the prisoners were in. Garrus and Grunt wheeled around and pulled out their guns, already knowing that there was a high chance that force may be used on them. Shepard yelled at the ceiling, calling out Kuril’s name.

“Kuril! What the hell is this?!”

“I’m sorry Commander, you are just too valuable to me to allow you to wander back off this station without a price tag. I do hope you understand but business is business and I couldn’t pass this up.”

“Over my dead fucking body!” She screamed at him, anger radiating through her. She had known that this whole recruitment seemed to be too much trouble than it was worth when she had first read that bloody file. She had been here all of twenty minutes ad they were already trying to capture her.

There was the noise of a disturbance in the corridor and silently the ground team split up and found cover. Both Garrus and Grunt had swapped out for their guns for something more suited for close range combat and had them trained on the door. Shepard flared blue as her biotics came to the fore and settled closely over her skin as she activated her barrier. She really hoped that downgrading her shields for added power was going to have been a good move as she allowed her biotics to coalesce in her right hand, ready for whatever came through the door.

The Blue Sun Mercs waded into the fray, using sheer numbers rather than skill to try and outgun the opposition as they had the unfortunate position of being funnelled though the door and straight into the sights of Garrus and the Krogan rage of Grunt. Shepard had her work cut out keeping the damn FENRIS Mechs from reaching them, disabling them before they got too close as the last thing they needed was for one of them to explode and compromising their position.

The fight gave Shepard the ability to try out a Reave on a mobile target. Pulling her biotics into her hand she leaned out slightly from cover and threw her arm in a circle, curving the mass of indigo energy towards a Merc who was ducked behind an upturned desk. Instantly she felt the sensation of a new type of energy surrounding her and a faint red and purple swirl that encapsulated her. The Merc staggered out of hiding, screaming as Shepard drained his health and felt it surround her. She threw out a Singularity, capturing two LOKI Mechs that had been deployed, hitting one of them with another Reave and watching as the biotic explosion hurled them against opposite walls, as their hardware disintegrated.

Once the coast was clear, the ground team made their way out of the room and took out the pockets of resistance that they encountered as they pushed forward for the tower that overlooked the maximum-security zone. Finding ‘K’ wasn’t hard, the pod was already in place, but it didn’t look like the others.

“Shepard that’s a cryo pod, the only way we can open that is if we open everything.” Garrus warned her, his mandibles fluttering slightly at the dubious position they could find themselves in very quickly.

“I didn’t come this far and get shot at to leave it fucking here. Do it.”

Garrus ran his hands over the control panel and pressed buttons and flicked switches. The alarms below sounded and those that were able to scramble out from their pods, relishing in their new found freedom.

The group watched, transfixed, as the cryo pod raised up, spinning slightly as it was released from the floor containment bay it had been housed in. The front opened up slowly and once the mist had cleared they were gazing out at a man buckled to the inside. Sturdy metal clamps were locked into pace at his ankles and wrists and another around his neck. He looked peaceful, even with the pale tinge of frost that glazed his skin, it was like he was sleeping soundly without a care in the universe. Shepard glanced at Grunt, wondering what his interpretation of this man was, his pale blue eyes never moved from watching the pod, waiting for the next move to be made, to see how strong this man actually was. As the frost dissipated and colour returned to him, Shepard could make out the wild design of hundreds of tattoos that covered his bare torso and arms, watching as his chest heaved as he took a ragged breath. His eyes flickered open as he assessed the room he found himself in and an uneasy mixture of panic and anger passed over his face, he seemed unsure as to what was going on around him.

“That’s ‘K’?” Shepard asked out loud as they watched the heavily tattooed man used Biotics and sheer strength to pull himself free of the restraints that held his limbs, blue light cascading out from him in an uncontrolled manner as his hands grasped the last one at his neck and he wrenched it open before falling down to the floor. His legs seemed unsteady and he looked uncertain. _Angry, but uncertain…_ Shepard thought as she watched. He seemed to have strength about him that would have been impressive even if he wasn’t Biotic. The muscles he had clearly spent time developing flexed with ease as he had pulled himself free of the restraints, it was obvious why he was dangerous and Shepard was starting to understand why the other human in the pod hadn’t wanted anything to do with this particular prisoner.

Just as he was getting his bearings, three YMIR Mechs powered up and approached. Shepard found her heart in her throat as she was sure that their potential recruit was about to be obliterated before her very eyes. K stood up and snarled as his biotics flared over him, more wildly than before, he didn’t seem to bother to pull them close as Shepard had done to create a barrier, instead he pushed them out in a wave, creating a Throw on a massive scale.

Wherever the Mechs had gone, K followed, disappearing out of sight. The lights in the wind dimmed as the room was bathed in an orange glow from the warning lights as an automated recording blared overhead, announcing to anyone who would listen that there had been a security breach. The ground team started to move on instinct, following K as best they could, shooting their way past the prisoners as they scrambled to keep up with the quickly disappearing biotic. There were fires in the service tunnels they were forced to follow through and the acrid smell of burning flesh told them that whatever K was doing, his reputation was one that had grown for a good reason. Through the smoke, Garrus spotted a dropped comm allowed them to listen in to where K was heading, as the guards battled to get him back in check. Even it seemed that the Warden was in on this, his frantic orders crackling though as he dispatched teams to seal doors and to funnel K towards the recapture point.

They ran into a dingily lit square room where a higher walkway surrounded the outsides and a platform overlooked it all from a corner. Clearly this was meant for prisoners, maybe recreation areas but over time, it had become a dumping ground. Crates and bits of scrap metal were pilled up sporadically. The Warden had situated himself on the platform, apparently wishing to oversee the recapture of K himself and potentially that would also include the capture of Shepard. He had encased himself in a sphere, a shield that was impenetrable if the test shot that Shepard sent out was anything to go by.

“The towers are powering it, if we take those offline, the whole thing should fail.” Garrus explained in a raised voice over the wail of the alarm and near constant drone of gunfire.

“Well, lets get it done then, every second here is a second chance they get to kill our recruit.” Shepard yelled back, motioning with her hand for them to find cover and start their assault.

What the Warden wasn’t counting on was that all of the ground team was still up and running. No matter how many Mercs he threw at them, with Shepard keeping them occupied and more often than not off the floor, Garrus and Grunt could easily take them out, leaving Shepard able to whittle down the massive shield generator that the Warden had used to try and protect himself at all costs.

When the last tower failed, and Kuril’s shield went down, the Warden grew frantic. Here he was, facing off against his meal ticket who was also N7 trained _and_ had back up. He made rash decisions, breaking out of cover to try and flank them, the bullets brining down his hardsuits shields. Shepard took her chance as she heard Kuril eject a thermal clip, she stood up and watched as her biotics flashed and drifted down her arm and came together in her hand before launching a Reave in his direction, swinging it in an arc so to sneak it around and behind the crate he had ducked behind. The screams that followed let her know that she had found her mark but the amp was burning hot at the base of her skull and a dull ache was beginning to manifest behind her eyes. She ducked back down, content to let either of her team mates to take the final blow as red and purple violently swirled around her. The gurgle that came from the crate as the Wardens body flopped out into view as he pitched forward told her that they didn’t need to bother.

Following more trails of destruction, fire and corpses they found themselves heading back to the docking area. Shepards gut plummeted. What if K managed to get abord the Normandy and took it over? Leaving them stuck here or worse leaving them stuck here _and_ killing the crew.

She skidded around a corner, her biotics gathered in her hand, ready to pull K away from the airlock if needed. What she wasn’t expecting was to see him screaming in anger at the sight of the ship and pacing about like a caged animal. His chest heaving as he breathed, his skin sheened in sweat and grime that both marred and highlighted the tattoos that covered his body. He had a shotgun nestled behind his hips, attached to the large clip on his belt and salvaged from one of the guards no doubt. When Shepard entered into his field of vision, he didn’t go for it, instead he flared brightly, the same wild blue energy radiating off him that she had seen before he threw the Mechs out of the way and punctured a hole in the dividing bulkhead with them.

“Who the _fuck_ are you!?” He spat savagely at her as his muscles tensed under his skin.

Shepard lowered her pistol and let her biotics sink back into her. He might have been violent, destructive, ruthless but he clearly wasn’t insane. By asking who she was he recognised that she wasn’t part of the Blue Suns, which in itself was a small victory considering how the rest of the mission had gone.

“I’m Commander Shepard, and I’m here to get you out of this shit hole.”

He paused, his eyes boring into hers as he sought to find any giveaway that she wasn’t telling him the truth. “You’re Cerberus! Why the fuck should I believe you?” He gestured at the Normandy, the yellow and black logo emblazoned on the front wing as it sat motionless in the docking bay.

“I have a _temporary alignment_ with them to stop the Collectors from abducting human colonies. I’m here to pick you up as I need your help to do it.” Shepard stood her ground, the same venom in her voice towards Cerberus as K had. She pulled off her visor and clipped it to her belt to show that she was willing to talk, not fight.

K took a small step forward, there was no malice in his movement, but Shepard could see the curiosity in his features and maybe a small glimmer of hope. “Fuck!” He yelled at the ceiling, dragging his hand through his hair as he wheeled back to the window to stare at the ship again.

Shepard kept still, waiting for him to ride out whatever turmoil was going through him. Watching him as his biotics flared lightly. Being this close she could feel the energy radiating off him as it flowed over her own skin, pulling her Biotics out in response. They weren’t lying when they said he was powerful, but they failed to mention that he wasn’t controlled with it.

“If I do this, I want access to all of the files you have on me,” He came up to Shepard, pointing a finger towards her chestplate as he locked eyes with her. She felt her own Biotics flaring slightly at his proximity, and noticed that he dropped his gaze down quickly, taking in her frame as the blue light glinted around her hardsuit. She could have sworn that he smirked. “Everything, right? You hold anything back and then whatever deal you have is off.” He folded his arms over his bare chest, well defined muscles pushing forward. Shepard smirked back and held out her hand.

“We have a deal, Mister…?”

“Alenko, or Kaidan, K, whatever… Don’t think I’m going to be best buds with you for this.”

Regardless, he shook her hand and sulked at the back of the group as they made their way to the airlock.

* * *

“This is ridiculous, I can’t just get hold of this information, Shepard.” Miranda threw her hands up from the other side of the table in the Communications Room. Tempers were running high and the Miranda turned around to face a wall momentarily to try and rein in the annoyance that was bubbling up.

“Regardless of what information you may have promised him, how are we to know that he’s not going to turn on the ship, on the crew?” Jacob grimaced, like the words left a bad taste in his mouth as they came out before settling his eyes on the newly arrived Kaidan Alenko, who was leant over the end of the table, the tension in his shoulders clearly visible. Despite the baiting by Jacob, he didn’t look up but let his feelings be shown by the faint blue glow that fluttered over his skin.

“Enough!” Shepard yelled at them both, causing Miranda and Jacob to shuffle about on the spot, both agitated and embarrassed to have been seen arguing with their Commanding Officer. Kaidan, for his part, looked up finally, amusement playing over his face as he studied Shepard with intrigue. “Miranda, if the Illusive Man thinks that we need Kaidan to be able to complete this mission then he will hand over what he wants to know, your job is to collate it. And as for you Jacob,” Shepard walked towards Kaidan and leant down on the table so that she could drop her head and look him in the eyes. “Are you going to cause us any problems?”

Kaidan turned away with a sour expression and gave a light disapproving laugh. “I will try my best not to scare your precious crew, _Ma’am._ ”

“Fine. That will do me, _for now._ ” She bit out, not impressed by his surly attitude but having to play along with it to ensure that this wasn’t a complete disaster. Turning back to the other two she dismissed them and watched them stalk out of the room and go back to their duties. Kaidan made a move to leave but Shepard caught his arm and pulled him back round to her.

“Not you.” She snarled. This man was thoroughly pissing her off and getting under her skin. Kaidan took a step towards her, challenging her with his size. She didn’t move, the wasn’t one to admit defeat unless she was dead, and that had happened before, yet here she was. Instead, she let her Biotics pulse out of her slowly, forcing them to slip over his bare skin, probing and pulling at his, seeing how much power he had coiled up inside him and how quick he would be to let it go.

“Testing me, are you?” He asked in a low voice that whispered at how dangerous he could be. Shepard said nothing, just stared at him, looking hard into his whiskey coloured eyes. She felt a slide of energy down her spine, exhilarating rather than unpleasant but she was well aware that it was nothing to do with her, and the only other person who could have something to do with it was stood right in front of her.

“Yeah,” Kaidan whispered as he saw the slight change of Shepards expression, “you’re not the only one who can do that.”

She knew that she was starting to blush. Embarrassment that he hadn’t managed to keep his Biotics out of her. What made it worse was that she was also acutely aware that she hadn’t let go of him since he had tried to leave the Communications Room, her hand was still wrapped around his forearm, holding him and preventing him from stepping away. She let go suddenly and watched as he smirked at her.

“I need to sort out accommodation for you.” She said finally, taking a step back and trying to put some distance between them but the light smell of eezo and battle had already made its way into her senses and had been catalogued firmly as ‘Kaidan’.

“The lowest place on the ship will be just fine, limits the through traffic, gives me some privacy.” He smiled at her, but there was something about it that wasn’t entirely friendly, it reminded her of something predatory. It was unsettling to say the least but at the same time, she couldn’t help but find this man a challenge because from the display he had put on when deliberating if he should even join them, it showed her that there was still a hint of vulnerability under there. And if he could feel vulnerable then he could be moulded to be loyal, and that’s exactly what she needed him to be.

“I’ll show you then,” Shepard said finally, turning to the door and leading Kaidan out into the hallway. She felt a flutter in her stomach as she realised that they would have to be in a lift together, on their own. Should she call Jacob? Make out that she needed him there to collect some stuff out of the way just so she had some back up? She scoffed to herself, when the hell has she needed back up for one person? Never was the answer, and it wasn’t going to start now. “Did you want me to show you around the rest of the ship before we go down to where you will be staying?” She asked as they approached the lift in CIC, she wasn’t sure if she said it to prolong the time she got to spend in his proximity or to give her a chance to let people know where she would be.

“Does that include your quarters?” He breathed in her ear, grinning as he pulled back to wait for her reaction to his words. She flared slightly, a blink and you’ll miss it event but one that he noticed straight away.

“You’ll no doubt work out where my quarters are Mr. Alenko but I am not inviting you into my bedroom.”

He put his hands up in mock defeat, shaking his head and smirking at her apparent discomfort to his rather forward proposal.

“I wasn’t asking you for sex, _Ma’am_. You can calm down.” He turned to face the lift, suddenly disinterested and a scowl marred his features. “Just tell me where I’ll be slumming it and then you can go back to saving the galaxy or whatever you seem intent on doing.”

Shepard wanted to punch him. Punch him and then space him. He was so fucking arrogant and dismissive, like everyone he encountered was a plaything for his amusement, then when he got bored, he threw them away. She wasn’t going to let him win this one. If She walked away no doubt his attitude towards her and the crew would only get worse, this had to be stopped now.

“Get in.” She demanded as the lift doors opened. He sulked in, leaning against the opposite wall and facing the door. Shepard hit the button for the Engineering Deck and prayed that this would be the fastest the lift had ever moved.

Once the door opened again, she strode out in front of him, and turned left before heading through the door marked Engineering. He trotted behind her to keep up, amused at her sudden anger towards him. At least she was going to keep him on his toes, plus she wasn’t bad to look at either, made teasing her all the more fun.

She descended the stairs into the sub level to Engineering, it was filled with spares and excess items from the initial outfit of the ship. She wrestled a spare cot from a crate and gathered up some blankets, quickly putting the whole thing together and pushing it towards a wall.

“There you go. Showers and bathrooms are on the Crew Deck, as is the Mess. You will get rations but at least they will be better than the swill you were used to on Purgatory,” She gave a wicked smirk as she remembered something. “Oh, wait…” She said with added emphasis, glaring at him as she gave him the thinnest of smiles. Shepard turned, ready to leave him to stew down here when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back into the small room, until she felt a crate to her back and Kaidan stepped in front of her.

“Had your fun now?” He snarled, his voice low and gravelly.

“If you carry on with your shitty attitude towards me and my crew, trust me, more fun will be had.”

Kaidan faltered slightly, thrown off guard by her words, deep down he recognised that they _stung._ He felt a flash of remorse that she thought so poorly of him. Having her this close however, he wanted her to think of him as something more than a giant, arrogant, pain in the ass.

“Is that a promise?” He stepped closer towards her, what should have been a threatening gesture was made into something else as his eyes darkened and his hand dropped down onto her hip.

“You tell me.” Shepard could only whisper the words as Kaidan loomed over her, his hand burning an impression on her hip as his ever-present Biotics radiated across the gap between them.

Kaidan blinked, at a loss for words, what did he want to tell her? He shook his head and stepped back, releasing his hold on her as he started to pace the room. Shepard remained where she was, her eyes following him as he moved about in the dim light, watching the shadows that fell over him and how they mingled with the tattoos that covered him. She spotted one that stood out instantly to her, ‘CAT 6’ was etched just under his left collar bone. Her hand came out and pushing into his chest to stop him before she pointed at the words.

“How about you tell me about this?” She looked up at him, a challenge in her eyes. Kaidan looked down to where her fingertip was pressing against him, realising what she was talking about.

“You get me the file, I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

“Not going to happen, this,” Shepard poked him, the tip of her short nail digging in and feeling his muscle tense in response. “This is Alliance, not Cerberus.”

He rolled his eyes and pushed her hand away, not wanting to go into how he got booted out of the Alliance, a CAT 6 disgrace. Shepard was persistent though, stepping away from the boxes and cornering him. Never dropping her eyes from his, challenging him to either tell her or decline.

“Let’s say we had a falling out.”

“A CAT 6 isn’t a small misunderstanding, Kaidan.”

He felt the corner of his mouth tug up into a smirk at the use of his first name. Not many people used it and here she was, standing in his personal space, pushing him to do something he didn’t want to do and talking to him like she knew him. A small part of him liked it.

“If you’re calling me Kaidan, do I get to know your actual name?”

Shepard set her mouth in a grim line. Did she want him to use her first name? Only a few knew it and they still just called her ‘Shepard’ or ‘Commander’. There was a high chance he would use it to try and undermine her, still she found herself telling him.

“It’s Abigail, although most people who have the privilege of using my first name call me Abi.”

“Abi…” Kaiden drew out her name as he said it, like he was testing how it felt in his mouth. He smiled at her, a look that said he wanted something else but it didn’t have the predator undertones. She felt herself smiling slightly back.

“So now you know that, what about this?” She asked again as she lightly touched the tattoo that had drawn her attention in the first place.

Kaidan slowly brough his hand to hers, curling his fingers around her palm as his gaze found hers. He sensed something different in her eyes, the anger and annoyance that he had seen whenever she had looked at him before was gone. With the softness in her eyes he felt something inside of him change, he found himself wanting to allow her to see who he was without the sour arrogance that had served him well up to now. Kaidan’s eyes flicked down to her lips and he started to lower his head to hers, he could have sworn that she was leaning up to meet him.

“Shepard? You ok?” The intercom spluttered as Garrus’s voice echoed over it. Shepard jumped back as if she had been caught with her hand in to cookie jar. Kaidan growled in his throat at the intrusion and also the situation he had very nearly found himself in.

“I’m fine Garrus, what’s up?” She slipped back into Commander mode and her tone and body language followed suit. She clasped her hands behind her back and fell into a relaxed attention as she looked up to the ceiling for the reply.

“You’ve been gone a while, I was just checking in that’s all.”

“I’m good, just on my way back up actually. I’ll come see you in a bit.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

The intercom stopped and Shepard looked towards Kaidan. He looked pissed off, glaring at her, glaring at the ceiling for the intrusion, but mostly it was for her. She huffed to herself, thanking Garrus for helping her to dodge a bullet she had found herself so willing to take. Who knows what would have happened if she had actually ended up kissing him, this was not how she had planned to curb his attitude and she was not planning for things to get as intimate as they had done.

“Whatever the fucking hell did you did to me, don’t think it’s going to happen again.” Kaidan hissed at her, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get rid of the thought of what nearly happened with Shepard out from his head.

“I could say the same thing to you. This is not what I planned.”

“Just, just leave me the fuck alone.” Kaidan had to push past her to leave, their Biotics flared at the contact and Kaidan all but growled at it, frustrated that his brain had just betrayed him in the most obvious way. Now she would know that touching her caused a reaction in him, which made her reaction all the more infuriating, like she was goading him into doing something he shouldn’t be doing. He had already told her that he wasn’t going to be her friend. Yet his display of blue light had just told her how much he enjoyed being close to her. He needed space and privacy, fast.

Shepard watched him as he forced his way past her in the small gap she had cornered him into. She didn’t even care that her Biotics lit up when he touched her to get passed, she was surprised however that his did the same thing. Kaidan didn’t seem like the type to get affected by closeness, he didn’t seem like the type to let anyone get close. She had already pinned him down for someone who would just use people as and when it suited him. She had been moments away from being just another notch in his bedpost, a conquest to pass the time until Garrus had saved her ass, _again._

She watched Kaidan throw himself on the cot and face the wall before she made a move to the stairs, she didn’t look back but she could feel his eyes on her and the creep of his Biotics over her own. This time however, she kept him out with a huff from him confirming that she had succeeded.

Moving through the door and turning the corner to get to the elevator, she stepped in and waited for the door to close before she allowed herself to turn around. What the hell was going on, he was blowing hot and cold and she had just let him? He had just got on the ship and they had almost ended up in a steamy embrace below engineering. She closed her eyes and promised herself that she was going to give him a wide berth for a few days, show him that he hadn’t affected her in any way and it was business as usual. Shepard smoothed down her BDU’s and stepped out of the elevator on the Crew Deck to go and find Garrus, she needed to speak to him about his request for help in tracking down his old team mate turned traitor anyway. If anything would push thoughts of Kaidan out of her head, that would.


	2. Ground Team

Before Shepard could get Garrus to the citadel to track down his turncoat, there was a call from the Illusive Man telling them about an operative that had been believed to be MIA has been located near Omega and required ‘extraction’. Shepard listened with disinterest to the information, while she would help Cerberus to stop the Collectors, she was getting pissed off at having to run around clearing up their own messes. The mention of sensitive data however, led to her listening a little more intently.

Stepping out of the quantum entanglement communicator, Shepard rubbed her temples. It was exhausting to not go bat shit crazy at that self-important idiot. His obsession to get any edge for humanity was slowly turning into a mission to get any edge even if it resulted in harming Humans to get it. He was diving in without testing the water, without checking all the options. It seemed that waiting was not an option for him and if it cost people their lives then it was a loss he could bear. Shepard however, couldn’t, she had chosen to align with Cerberus to help Humans, not destroy some of them for a wild dream and her patience was wearing thin.

“EDI,” Shepard called to the ceiling as she walked through the Armory, “Can you tell Garrus and Kaidan to get ready and meet me by the shuttle in five.”

“Of course, Commander.” Came the soothing reply as the intercom clicked off and the AI completed what was asked of her. Jacob cocked an eyebrow at Shepard as she checked over the guns available and what everyone had selected. She still needed to find the Doctor that had been recommended to her but she had hoped that the plague that was spreading through the district where he worked on Omega would have been dealt with by now. Seeing as it was only leaving Humans untouched, it meant that she would be putting members of her crew at risk to recruit him but she still didn’t trust the Cerberus backed Humans to go with her, which is what led her to have Kaidan be part of the ground team today. See how good he is and take him to Omega and recruit the Doctor if he passed the test.

“Anything I can help with Shepard?” Jacob asked, folding his arms as he stood to next to the workbench he had been tinkering on a moment before.

“Just seeing where there are gaps in our armaments, we will be going back to Omega soon, so just seeing where improvements could be made while I was passing through.”

“When we get the Doctor we can work together on upgrading what we have, that will give us a huge advantage over the standard weapon loadouts we have here. I’m excited to even think about the possibilities.”

“Well, he’s next on the list after I sort out another Cerberus fuck up.” Shepard retorted before she had a grip over what her mouth was saying. She turned to Jacob, gauging his reaction to her outburst.

“Shepard, I know you don’t agree with what Cerberus is doing and to be honest with you, I don’t agree with it all either but they are doing something, which was more than the Alliance was doing before I quit. Even you must see that as you’re still here. Not all of us are bad guys, just guys trying to do good with the resources we can find.”

“You might not be bad Jacob, but the ones at the top are rotten to the core. When you’re starting to sacrifice Humans, that’s not helping Humans, that’s using them for your own gain.” Shepard stood up and faced him, she challenged him to disagree with her posture. He wasn’t falling for it.

“I know what you mean and I understand your concerns but right now, the credits and ability to stop these attacks on our colonies, they are coming from Cerberus, not the Council and _not_ the Alliance.” He held up his hands as Shepard bristled at his words. “For me right now, that means I have a little more faith in them and less in the others. That doesn’t mean it won’t change, but the mission takes priority.”

“You’re too good a man to let Cerberus turn you into a mindless drone, Jacob. Once this is over, _if_ we survive, you should consider coming back to the Alliance.”

“Maybe Shepard, maybe.”

Jacob turned back to his desk, content with trying to upgrade clips and testing different ammo to see if he could get them an edge while they were waiting on the Doctor. Shepard stepped into the changing area to ditch her BDU’s and pull on her under armor, she clipped up her gauntlets and leg plates before running out with her visor and chestplate in hand. She was late.

Running to the elevator, cursing to herself as she checked the time, the others would probably be waiting for her. How had she let Jacob pull her into a discussion while she had to get ready to ground pound. The door opened onto the shuttle bay and she stepped out. Garrus tipped his head to one side, letting her know instantly that he was wondering when she was going to show up. Kaidan was looking gloomy leaning up against the side of the shuttle, arms folded, and one leg bent, resting his foot against the paintwork.

“I see you dressed for the occasion, Kaidan.” Shepard mused as she saw he was just wearing what he always wore. The belt around his hips might have had a pistol attached to it now but he wasn’t wearing any actual armor.

“I can protect myself, have done so far.” The sarcasm crept out in the tone of his words. He wasn’t happy about something but for the life of her, Shepard couldn’t work out what.

“You planning to get dressed in the shuttle? What took you so long?” Garrus asked her as she caught up with them as he popped the latch on the side and raised the hatch upwards. He stepped in and held out his hand to pull Shepard up. As she took it, she felt the familiar crawl of Biotics over her skin and saw Kaidan step up next to her before taking a seat at the other end of the bench, as far away from them as possible.

“I was questioning Jacob about weapon upgrades that might be available once we recruit that Doctor the Illusive Man suggested.” Sheppard shrugged, as she went to check with the pilot if they were ready to go once Joker had given them the green light.

“New toys, now that’s something I can get behind.” Garrus laughed, pulling the hatch back down and sealing it.

“Indeed, exciting.” She agreed, grinning at him. Vaguely aware of Kaidan snorting at their conversation. “Joker, ready when you are.” She added, turning her head to where the comm was situated.

“Aye-aye, when the doors are fully open, you are green to go.”

She smiled at his response, Joker knew his stuff but was adverse to formality, it was like trying to rein in a kid brother at times. Especially since he had taken to having a feud with EDI. It was so petty but sometimes she just couldn’t help but laugh.

The shuttle started to move, the thrusters causing the momentary wobble before the dampeners kicked in. Once everything was stabilised, she held her chest plate up into position and turned around so that her back was to Garrus.

His fingers worked over the clasps, making sure everything was in place. Shepard clipped on her visor and checked the readout from her amp on there before allowing her eyes to pass through the HUD and watch Kaidan. He was glaring, his eyes had been tracking Garrus’s hands as they swept over her shoulders and along her waist. He was trying to keep his Biotics in check but there was something just brewing under the surface, was he jealous?

A pat on the shoulder told Shepard she was done and she turned back to Garrus to thank him, realising begrudgingly that the view she was now giving Kaidan was probably going to please him. This new set up had limited protection on the back, her spine was covered by some reinforcements to her under armor but that was it, even her leg plates didn’t extend all the way around, their primary function was to just keep the cybernetics in place to boost her Biotics.

From the back the only defence she had was her barrier, the limited shields installed and the skin-tight under armor. Shepard knew the individual pieces were designed to give her maximum mobility, and they did, almost to the point of fluidity. Which was just what she needed to be able to throw out Biotic attacks, but she also felt like she was defenceless from behind, which had her nerves on edge. If she was in light armor she would have at least some cover all round, as it was she would just have to use Garrus and his own hardsuit as her six and ensure that he covered her ass, as usual.

“So what is the plan?” Garrus asked her directly. Shepard moved back so that she could address both of them, Kaidan was part of the team here too and to exclude him from a brief was unprofessional and unfair.

“Eclipse Mercs have a Cerberus Operative who we have been told has some important intel. We need to liberate him if he’s not already dead and ensure that we have the data. Take out any resistance. Simple job.”

“Any intel on what type of resistance we are likely to face?” Kaidan asked gruffly, looking at her intently. He had leant back in his seat, legs out in front of him and one arm was resting on the opposite hatch ledge. He looked like he should have been in a dive bar rather than about to drop into a hot zone.

“Expect armor and shields. Be careful when taking out anyone in Tech Armor, I do not want an explosion in the middle of the team. No doubt there will be drones too, so overload is going to be a winner here. Hope you’re up to it Garrus.”

“As always, Shepard.” He replied, flaring his mandibles in what could be describes as a grin.

“And us lowly Biotics? We get to play with anything?” Kaidan stood up and gestured between himself and Shepard, pouting slightly.

“We won’t be able to play with anything until their armor and shields are gone but after that, we dangle them about and get the fireworks going.”

“So warp the shit out of them? Got it.” He said dryly.

“Warp, reave, add a pull in don’t care as long as it gets the job done.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan cocked his head to one side and took a step towards her, “did you just say _reave_?”

“Yes?”

“You can _Reave_?” Kaidan studied her carefully, frowning at her as he waited for her to confirm or deny. Garrus stayed silent, he had seen Shepards Reave in action, but this seemed like it was going to be fun, see how powerful this Kaidan Alenko really was when he was faced with another human Biotic who could Reave.

“Yes, I can Reave.” Shepard shrugged her shoulders, not understanding why this seemed to be so hard for him to get his head around.

“Asari’s can Reave, humans, not so much.” He folded his arms; it was clear that she was talking bullshit just to try and get one up on him.

“I mean, you do you, but my L5-X tells me I can, and the Blue Suns who I drained saving your ass would also agree that I can.”

Kaidan’s eyes flicked to Garrus, the Turian just nodded at him. “Bullshit, you may have done something but it’s not Reave.” His heart sped up as he said his piece. If what he was hearing was true, then where did that leave him? Shepard might actually outperform him, his title of the strongest Human Biotic would be meaningless, _he_ would be meaningless. Anger flickered in his chest and it hurt.

“Well, you can tell me what you think once this mission is over.” Shepard turned back to Garrus; she was not going to massage Kaidan’s ego for him. His Biotics were undoubtedly off the charts, she couldn’t have thrown three massive YMIR Mechs with the force he did, and she wasn’t whining about it, so what if she could Reave?

“Commander, we are about to dock, there is a small task force in the docking port so you will be going in hot.”

“Understood, drop us off and then retreat to a safe distance until we require extraction. Any trouble, head back to the Normandy and await instructions from Joker.”

The hatch opened and bullets immediately started pinging off the metal. The dock was a mess of crates, pipework, and tanks of some sort of fuel. There were plenty of places to hide, which worked in the Mercs favour as much as her own. Shepard jumped down and his behind a crate, waiting for the others to catch up. Garrus pulled out his sniper and set himself up at the back while Kaidan dropped down and crashed against the crate Shepard was hiding behind.

“Plan, _Ma’am_?” He whispered at her, popping his head carefully around the edge to try and locate where the enemy was hiding.

“If you see them, go nuts. I haven’t got time for this shit.” Shepard replied, gritting her teeth as she leant to look out from the opposite side. She saw a faint glimmer of something on the platform that made its way down to the port. “Infiltrator at eleven o’clock.” she hissed at Kaidan as she turned back, her face almost close enough to his to feel his breath on her cheek. Kaidan grinned at her and stood up, the blue glow radiating from him as he sent a shockwave out to the position that she had indicated. Garrus must have seen something too as a bullet seemingly hit nothing, there was a small grunt and the Merc’s Tactical Cloak failed, revealing them suddenly.

“Eat shit!” Kaidan yelled at them as he sent out a Pull, the Merc dangled in the air as Garrus took a headshot, instantly killing them. The display was enough to get the rest of the Mercs moving and bullets were suddenly flying in Kaidan’s direction. Shepard reached up and grabbed the harness he wore and pulled him back into cover.

“You know you can use Biotics discreetly,” Shepard hissed at him, anger flashing in her eyes as her gaze bored into Kaidan. He had the decency to look embarrassed even if it was for all of two seconds.

“What’s the point of sneaking around? Get them to make a move and make mistakes. Waiting around is crap.” He shrugged at her and pulled out of her grasp, standing up again as he threw another Merc backwards, crashing over a crate.

“Shepard, we have more incoming at three o’clock!” Garrus yelled, his position was slightly compromised as he would be easily flanked if he wasn’t careful.

“Swap places! Now!” She hollered as she charged to his crate and allowed him to take up position next to Kaidan. Shepard sent out a Singularity towards the door, hoping that someone was going to get yanked up. She glanced over at Kaidan and saw him leap over the crate and pull up another Merc, she released a Warp at it, detonating the Biotics that were enveloping them. Kaidan glanced over to her surprised and annoyed but she didn’t have time to babysit his ego. Her own singularity had snagged someone, but there was a more pressing issue coming towards her. A shielded engineer was about to drop a turret which would be bad news for all of them. Shepard stood up, biotics flaring around her before settling tight to her like a second skin as she sent out a Reave in his direction. The engineer grunted, the first waves of panic rising up as his shields started to deplete at a rapid rate. The familiar purple and read swirls enveloped Shepard as she stepped out and sent a Warp at the still hanging Merc in her Singularity, the detonation taking out the engineer as well.

She turned to face Kaidan, part of her wanting to make sure that he had seen what she had done. His eyes widened as he started running in her direction, throwing himself over her as he pushed her to the ground and set up a barrier over the two of them. Shepard huffed and looked in the direction he had been staring at. Another infiltrator.

“When will you learn that we can still see you?!” She yelled, shoving Kaidan off her slightly as she flicked her wrist up and sent a Warp into the glimmer of the cloaked Merc. The Tactical Cloak flickered and it was enough for Garrus to be able to dispatch them with a well-placed bullet, as the body flopped down in front of Shepard and Kaidan.

She scrambled up as Garrus gave the all clear, stepping over to him and popping out a thermal clip. There was a strong smell of eezo in the air as Kaidan finally let his Biotics subdue. He turned towards Shepard, looking smug but the annoyance on her face made him doubt his display of raw power, anger flickered inside him, not for the first time today.

“What, no ‘thank you’?” He spat out. Looking her up and down as she folded her arms and glared at him.

“You knocked me down without thinking and left us vulnerable to attack. Just because you’re a CAT 6 doesn’t mean you have zero military training. It was a sloppy move and one that could have had us both killed.” Shepard kept her voice level even though she was more than pissed off at his display, especially when he could have just taken out the Merc. Instead he showed off and hampered her ability to defend herself to boot.

“I just saved you _from_ getting attacked, and you’re talking like I screwed up. At least _I_ actually noticed that we weren’t done yet.” He pointed his finger at the body on the floor, his Biotics tumbling from his skin betraying how much his dressing down had got to him. He didn’t need this shit, he had coped on his own long enough and nothing so far had got in his way, why the hell was Shepard getting to him so much, why did he feel like he needed to prove himself to her? This was not how he did things, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he wanted to please her with how he performed on the field.

“Kaiden,” Shepard said, softer this time, trying to diffuse the tension that was gluing itself to the group. “I didn’t say that the barrier was not welcome, it was the way you did it.”

He didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to be pissed off with her, use that to fuel his Biotics and give him a reason to just work on his own but instead he felt like he wanted to show her that he could improve, be a better team member. Indecision must have been written over his face as she offered to let him just do his own thing and she would drop back with Garrus if it made it easier for him.

“Garrus can you get us through that door?” Shepard asked, her eyes not leaving Kaidan as she wondered what to do with him. He had been surly when she told him off and he was still in that same mood when she gave him a way out.

“On it” He replied, striding over to the door and pulling open a program on his omni-tool to hack it.

Shepard stepped closer to Kaidan, she felt that his Biotics were still thrumming just below his skin, uncontrolled and dangerous. _Just like him_ she thought to herself as she studied him. For his part, he just looked over the cargo port, ensuring that he wouldn’t have to focus on her or what she was undoubtedly about to say.

“I wanted to see you in action, that’s why I brought you here.” She started as Kaidan brough his eyes back to hers. “I admit, after seeing that tattoo, I expected more military tactics to be used but I’m sure it’s been a while since you were in a ground team. I would prefer it if you worked with me and Garrus can be back up, but only if it works for _you_.”

She was doing it again, getting under his skin and making him want to impress her, live up to the expectations she had of him. _Of your Biotics_ , he thought dryly, _she already expects you to be lowlife scum._ He frowned, trying to convince himself that he worked better alone, and she would just be a hinderance, but a small voice kept telling him to accept.

“Alright, _Commander_.” He tried to feign disinterest, waving his hand in her direction to try and make out that he was conceding defeat begrudgingly. He didn’t know what was going on with him, but he kept feeling like Shepard was pulling him into her orbit whether he liked it or not.

“Door open in 5.” Garrus told them over their earpieces. Not wanting to shout and alert whoever may be on the other side of the door that they were about to come in. Shepard and Kaidan ran over, both taking up a position on either side of the door as Garrus hit the green holo before retreating as the door opened.

The Vanguard that greeted them and threw out a Warp towards Kaidan as he barrelled in to get to cover. A grunt came from him as his Barrier faltered from the attack, he turned to face Shepard as the blue waves dissipated and he crouched with his back pressed against the crate he was hiding behind.

“Garrus! Get that fucking bitch!” Shepard yelled as she flared brightly and sent a Reave instantly at the Vanguard. The Merc stumbled slightly as her own Barrier depleted slightly from the attack. Shepard cursed as she saw another two Mercs emerging from the door on the other side of the room.

She rushed over to Kaidan, dropping down next to him as he ignited his own barrier again. Bullets hit the crate and one few overhead, pinning them into their position. Kaidan turned to face at her, blue swirling with the amber in his eyes and a snarl on his face. He pulled the shotgun from behind him and checked the clip. Shepard took a glance at where the Vanguard was, and smirked when she saw that Garrus was keeping her trapped between two crates on the right, that bitch needed to go down fast but she was now a sitting target so to speak.

“Shockwave or Throw those motherfuckers that just came in, don’t let them advance. I’m going after the Vanguard.” She ordered him, he nodded at her and quickly jumped up and turned to face them, sending out a huge ripple of blue explosions that knocked the Mercs backwards on their feet.

Shepard waited for Garrus to force the Vanguard back behind the furthest crate and readied a Warp, blue energy flowed down the outside of her arm and came together in her palm as she flicked her wrist to curl it expertly around the Merc hiding spot. Her cry let the team know that the Barrier was down, just the armor to go.

A Warp came back over as the Merc tried to retaliate, Shepard ducked back down and watched it dissipate on the wall behind her. The Vanguard had stayed out in the open to watch if her attack met its mark as Garrus was busy swapping out his thermal clip. Shepard wasted no time and sent out a Reave, advancing as the red and purple energy surrounded her and the Merc writhed on the spot, her Tech Armor flickering as the Biotics drained them away. Shepard raised her pistol, pulling the trigger repeatedly until all six bullets were sunk into the unprotected Merc, slowly walking towards her as the energy she pulled drowned out the blue of her own Biotics. Popping out the spent thermal clip she paused as Garrus took the last shot, sending the Merc to the ground.

Any sense of satisfaction was short lived as another Vanguard and two troopers filed out of the door, the Vanguard taking point and sending a Warp at Shepard. It hit her in the back as she launched over a crate trying to gain some distance and cover. She fell hard, knocking the wind from her lungs and sending her pistol clattering to the ground.

“Shepard!” Garrus yelled, drawing Kaidan’s attention. He Sent out another shockwave to disrupt the two lackies as he ran back to where he had last seen Shepard disappear.

“Shit, are you ok?” He asked, fear creeping out on the edge of his voice as he pulled Shepard back to him as he knelt behind the crate. He cursed, finding that her Barrier was down and her shields were gone too. “This stupid fucking armor is not a good idea you know.”

She winced as her shoulder bumped into his chest, it wasn’t dislocated but she had pulled something, that was for sure. “I need the power boost.” Was all she could think to reply.

“Not gonna be much good if you’re dead.”

“Been there, done that and it didn’t slow me down.”

“What?” Kaidan hissed at her, what the fuck was she talking about? He frowned at her, not understanding how she could be so blasé about nearly getting taken out from behind.

“I’ll tell you later,” She whispered before activating her comm. “Garrus, situation?”

“Vanguard is on route, I can slow her down but I can’t pin her. The other two are moving to flank at three and nine, if you have a plan, now is the time to do it.”

She turned back to Kaidan, her face nearly touching his. “I know you can push your biotics into me, give me a Barrier boost and I’ll take out bitch number two.”

He swallowed thickly; it was one thing to creep his Biotics over someone but he had never directly assisted someone by adding his own powers to theirs. Despite his reservations he found himself nodding at her as he flared brightly and concentrated on mingling his Biotics with Shepard’s.

She almost instantly felt the additional power in her nodes, the blue that wrapped around her almost looked white in places as she stood up and sent a Warp towards the Vanguard, it stripped her Barrier and half of her Tech Armor in one go before she had time to react. The merc dropped behind a crate with a yell, surprised by the sheer force of the attack. Shepard felt Kaidan wrap his fingers around her calf as he gave her as much power as he could, feeling herself glowing with energy as she spread a barrier to encase both of them and holding off the bullets from the Mercs as they advanced in their flanking position.

Shepard waited, her tongue darting out to wet her lips as she watched them advance slowly. Garrus was busy overloading and taking shots at the Vanguard so she knew that these were the only two she needed to worry about. Her eyes flicked sideways as one of them stepped into range, Kaidan squeezed her leg as the other one advanced enough for her liking. She crouched slightly, throwing out her arms as she detonated the barrier, wincing with the effort and the pain that shot through her already bruised shoulder. The Mercs were catapulted in opposite directions, like ragdolls as they collapsed unmoving into crated and railings.

Kaidan slumped as he gathered his own Biotics back, his eyes screwed shut from the exertion and unexpected feeling. Shepard watched his chest rise and fall heavily as he tried to catch his breath. She however felt… empty? Now that power was gone her own Biotics seemed inadequate in respect to what Kaidan had given her. She crouched down next to him as Garrus came over, evidently done with the Vanguard and collecting up any spare clips that he came across.

“Kaidan,” She placed a hand gingerly on his shoulder, feeling his Biotics swarm under her touch. “That was some show you gave.” She smiled at him as he opened one eye to look at her. The lights of the room were playing hell with his vision and he felt a dull ache beginning behind his right eye.

“Yeah, that was something alright.” He grimaced, exhaling heavily as he pulled himself upright.

“You did good, Alenko. I’m impressed.” Garrus added, clapping Kaidan on the shoulder with a laugh.

“We still need to get this intel though, I can see a terminal though the door, so let’s see what they’re so desperate to keep us from in there.” Shepard was back on her feet, bending over smoothly to retrieve her pistol as she picked her way through the carnage to get to the room.

The terminal was there all right, as was the corpse of the Cerberus Operative. Whatever information he had was going with him to his grave it seemed. She sighed and powered up her omni-tool, the orange glow bathing her features as she scanned the corpse.

“He’s got some encrypted data on him, but not the key. Whatever this is, the secret that Cerberus was so desperate to keep hidden is going to stay hidden without it.”

“What about the Alliance? Would they be able to break it?” Garrus asked, nodding at the terminal that she could use to upload the data.

“Maybe,” She walked over to it and secured an anonymous connection to Anderson, the only Alliance member that seemed to want to recognise that she still existed. She knew deep down that was only because he had known her since she was sixteen. “Well, I’d rather they know what the fuck is going on, even if it takes them years. And anything to give a two fingered salute to the Illusive Man.”

Garrus laughed heartily, his mandibles flaring wide as he tipped his head back and his shoulders jumped up and down with the noise. Kaidan stood at the back by the door, feeling like a third wheel, an intruder, in a clearly private joke. He hated how he was feeling, so confused over how Shepard kept relying on him and then seeming to leave him out. He felt like a lost puppy, desperately trying to please her when he knew that if it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have given a shit.

Kaidan turned away from the laughter to look out over the room they had just turned upside down, watching as the door seemed to open in slow motion and yellow armor revealed itself. He turned and ducked behind the doorframe, sending a light Throw out to Garrus and Shepard, sending them staggering back out of view.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?” Garrus growled at him, relenting slightly when Kaidan cocked his head towards the room they had just been in. Garrus stepped to the frame, flanking the door and quickly popped his head out as he saw another Vanguard, three regular Mercs and a far more imposing Salarian.

“Shepard, we have incoming and it’s not pretty.”

She joined Garrus at the door, Kaidan felt a knot in his stomach as he watched her place her hand on the Turians arm and lean into him. Their actions so comfortable with each other that you could be forgiven for thinking that they were more than just teammates. He whispered something in Shepards ear and she looked up at him and nodded before dropping into a crouch and peeking around the door.

“I know you’re in there.” The Salarian called out as he silently directed the team at his disposal to the relevant points of cover he had selected. “This can be done the hard way or the easy way, you choose.”

“Who are you?” Shepard called out, buying some time as she whispered directions to Kaidan and Garrus though the comms. Kaidan looked at her as she gave the directions, swallowing hard.

“I’m Morl, the leader of this facility. I have to say that I wasn’t expecting the great Commander Shepard to be a Cerberus lapdog, but I am here to now ensure that you are put down finally.”

Shepard saw a flash of green as a Combat Drone made its way over to them silently, Garrus immediately Sabotaged it, watching it flicker out. Morl chuckled, apparently unconcerned about the loss of the drone as he seemed to have only used it to test what they had in their arsenal.

Shepard dashed over to Kaidan, keeping low as bullets flew past her, some bouncing off her shields. She had expected a Warp to come barrelling into her as well and was relieved to find herself tucked against Kaidan’s legs with her shields mostly in place. He looked down at her questioningly as she scooted past him to allow herself to stand up straight.

“You think you can do that trick again?” She whispered to him, her cheek grazing against his as he tried to turn further towards her. 

“Maybe,” he replied lowly, thinking about the ache that had threatened a migraine just minutes before. He turned back to the door and had a glance to see the positioning of the Mercs.

From this position, Shepard noticed something about him that she hadn’t realised before as she stared at the base of his skull. Her eyebrows pulled together as she tried to work out what was going on. He turned just in time to see her expression before she shook her head to clear her thoughts.

“I _can_ do it, there’s no need to look so annoyed.” He spat out. Catching her with that look on her face, that told him she thought he was letting the team and her down by his hesitation. It had riled him, he wasn’t a one trick pony but he wasn’t willing to tell her about the headaches and confess a weakness to her.

“I never said you couldn’t, I just… I’ll talk to you later about it. Same set up as before?” She buzzed through her sentence, not wanting to get bogged down in petty questions or accusations right now.

“Fine by me. He huffed, placing his hands on her waist as he swapped positions with her and he ignited his Biotics, sending them coursing through her with more ferocity than before. She almost reeled at the power that went through her, her own Biotics flaring in response without any direction from her. The glow would have been unmissable coming from the doorway. Garrus nodded at her and sent a test shot out to where Morl had been positioned and rapidly answering gunfire returned.

Shepard activated her Barrier and took a glance out of the room, her eyes scanning for the Vanguard. She found her easily, the blue and orange of her layers of protection picking her out from among the rest. Shepard flared again, allowing the Warp to gather in her palm as she sent it curving towards the Vanguard.

“What the fuck?!” Morl yelled as the one troop he counted on the most was sent reeling into a crate backwards. Flapping as though she was trying to put out invisible flames. Garrus sent out a shot that connected with her armor. His omni tool telling him that she was half health already. The rest of the troops went to storm the room, skittering between cover as they made their way over.

“Shes almost out of the game” Garrus yelled, lining up another shot.

“Hold on.” Shepard yelled back. She stepped back slightly, keeping behind the cover of the door, pulling Kaidan with her as she closed her eyes and gathered their joint Biotics down her arms, before sending them out thundering Shockwave thought the wall and out into the room, right towards the Vanguard.

“Scratch one!” Garrus yelled, stowing his sniper and pulling his assault rifle out. With the Vanguard down the only one that they really had to worry about now was Morl himself.

Shepard nodded at Kaidan and he reined in his own Biotics, leaving her with the same emptiness that she had felt earlier. Garrus gave them covering fire as they made their way out of the room and took position behind the metal railing that sectioned off the doorway from the rest of the room.

Both the Biotics fluidly sent out attack after attack, Kaidan focusing on keeping the Mercs at bay, while Shepard worked to take down the shields and armor of Morl.

She had to laugh as Kaidan started playing with them, pulling them to him before throwing them backwards only to catch them in a draining Singularity right before they hit the wall. Morl was getting desperate, sending out his Combat Drone to focus on each of them in turn only for Garrus to send it back into the depths of tech hell from whence it came.

An Incinerate caught Shepard on her side, sending her staggering backwards, Kaidan sent out a Pull and dragged her over to him as Garrus took up position behind the barrier she had vacated.

“Stop with the risks, Shepard.” He chided her over their comm link as he ejected another clip from his rifle and stowing another on in its place.

“Not my intention, Garrus, you know that.” She grimaced, getting hit was careless on her part, she was well aware of that.

“We are all well aware that you’re the great Commander Shepard, _Ma’am_.” Kaidan snickered on her left, his mouth set in a thin line and showing his disapproval.

“Can it, Alenko.” She bit back, not in the mood for his arrogance. She sent out her own Singularity, blocking a path that the remaining Mercs might have taken and funnelled them towards the sights of Garrus. She slipped around Kaidan and nudged him towards the edge of the barrier, placing her hand on his knee and flaring her Biotics as she let her power join up with his. “Just do what you’re best at.”

He looked at her intently, this was the chance to show her exactly what he was capable of, to prove that his reputation is justified. While he had no training that would enable him to Reave, he could still throw out a Warp. Inhaling deeply, the chaotic blue energy that surrounded him thundered down his arm as he pulled back to launch the attack.

Kaidan yelled as he swung his arm into the air, curving the mass of Biotics out towards the transfixed Morl. The Merc leader started to duck for cover, but it was far too late to prevent the energy from hitting him. Morl’s shields took the brunt, almost dropping off on the first hit. Garrus opened fire to deplete them fully and dropped back to swap out his clip. Kaidan looked back at Shepard who remained still with her hand on his hip, he hadn’t even feel her stand up, much less feel her hand moving up his leg to just below his waist as she did so. She nodded at him, the blue of her own Biotics contrasting with the grey in her eyes as she stared at him. He turned back and once again sent out another Warp, this time fully depleting Morl’s armor and injuring him. Shepard moved out past him, her hand running along the skin at the small of his back before she let her hand fall away and she raised her pistol. Kaidan sagged over slightly as he felt her Biotics leave him, a loss of power that he could only imagine would be like losing a limb.

Shepard took a step out and sent a Reave at him, he staggered back and activated his Combat Drone again. She paid no mind to it as the bullets from it bounced off her Barrier, any damage to her being substituted by the ruddy energy that swirled around her form. Her movements were controlled as she slunk forward and lifted the Merc Captain off the floor. As he hovered overhead, she shot out the Drone, not even watching as the green orb spluttered out. She turned her gun to him, clicking on the biotic boost that she had attached to it and flicked a final Warp at him. The resulting detonation as her abilities collided together sent Morl careering into the wall, the sound of cracking armor and possibly breaking bones second only to his sickening scream as he connected with the hard metal.

The group moved together as they made their way back to the entrance to the facility. Garrus collected up more clips and stashed them in the pockets of his hard suit, Kaidan hung back from Shepard, he was still feeling the effects of her Biotics and the loss of them, unsure how to deal with what she had provided him with but then taken away without warning.

“Well, that was fun.” Garrus mused, a slight smile creeping on his face as he stowed his rifle on the clip at his back.

“You can say that again.” Shepard nodded in agreement. She turned from them slightly as she radioed the Normandy for extraction.

Garrus moved up alongside Kaidan, leaning in slightly to speak to him as they made their way out to the cargo port.

“You know, there might be some people who think you’re a liability but after what you did today, I for one disagree with them. I don’t doubt that Shepard could have got it done regardless but you made it ten times easier than it would have been.” He clapped Kaidan on the shoulder, catching him off guard and causing him to rock forward slightly. He turned to the Turian and narrowed his eyes as he stared at him, trying to determine if the alien was mocking him or not.

“Thank you?” He replied, unsure as to if he should be accepting praise for just doing what he was brought along to do. He knew that Shepard had said that she wanted to see how he performed but he knew that he had been recruited solely to cause as much destruction as possible, and hopefully without getting himself killed in the process.

“I mean it, I’ve worked with Biotics before, Shepard excluded, and you were _good._ ” Garrus smiled again, nodding before catching up with Shepard and talking to her in a voice that was too low to register what he was saying. She laughed at whatever it was and Kaidan felt that knot in his core again as he was left to walk drag. She turned around suddenly as Garrus carried on and waited for him to catch up. He grimaced, expecting to be dressed down, _again._

“Chin up, Alenko.” She tutted at him, as he looked away. “You did good. I might have to bring you on some more ground pounds after today.”

He turned slightly to look at her from the corner of his eye, she wasn’t laughing, but he wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or concerned at that.

“I just did what you brought me along to do.” He said sourly, refusing to look fully at her and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Look,” She said, turning on her heel to come to a stop in front of him, placing a hand on his chest to stop him moving. “There’s something I want to discuss with you, _in private_. Once we’re back on the ship, get yourself cleaned up and I’ll see you in my cabin in thirty minutes.” She turned away as the sound of the shuttle approached.

“You’re inviting me up, finally then?” He smirked at her, trying to distract himself from what was likely to be a formal dressing down about what had happened when he knocked her down to throw a Barrier over her.

“This isn’t a joke, it’s an order, Alenko. And I expect you to be there.” She removed her hand and spun on her heel to jog over to the shuttle, lithely swinging herself up onto the deck and moving toward the pilot.

Garrus was already seated and checking over his sniper. He looked up as Kaidan climbed up and threw himself into a seat on the opposite side. Neither man said anything, Garrus could tall that Kaidan wasn’t in the mood and it was likely due to whatever Shepard had said to him. The sooner the shuttle got them back the better.

* * *

Kaidan stripped off and settled himself under the shower, the water slewing off the sweat and grime from the day. He scrubbed a hand though his hair, allowing the foam to simply wash away as he placed his hand on the wall in front of him and left the water to do the rest of the work. He thought back to when Shepard had Joined up their powers, the tingle that he felt in every node as he felt part of her run through him. Was that how it was for her too when he had pushed his own powers out for her to use?

His mind drifted to the feeling of her hand on his hip, and how her fingers had ghosted over his skin as she stepped around him. He wanted that feeling again, but not in the middle of a fire fight. He wanted it when they were alone, when she would touch him because she wanted to, just like when she questioned him about his tattoos and placed a solitary finger on him. He felt a tightness in his chest as his mind wandered, closing his eyes to try and keep the image and sensation of her in him mind. _What the fuck has she done to me?_

His eyes flew open as the tightness became panic, this was not him, some lovesick teenager, desperate for the girl he liked to show him some attention. His hands fisted against the wall, barely restraining the wild anger that crept up. She was making him weak, showing him that he was nothing without her. Making him _need_ her. This had to stop, he was done being someone’s puppet, Cerberus had done it to him before and damn it if she wasn’t doing it to him again while working for fucking Cerberus. 

He slammed off the water and scrubbed a towel over himself, drying quickly before pulling on his clothes and buckling up his harness. He would listen to whatever bullshit she was going to yell at him for and then tell her that he wanted those fucking files and that was it. No more ground missions until it was time for this stupid suicide mission she was set on. Get that over with and then get the hell off this ship at the nearest planet. He stepped out of the shower room and crossed over to the elevator, selecting her cabin with a bash of his fist. He could still feel water trickling slowly down his skin from his hair, and he ran his hand though it trying to force it out. He didn’t want to be seen as taking her advice before coming up here.

The elevator door opened, and he found himself in a small passage that led to her cabin. The lighting was dim but the red holo was plain to see. He stopped outside, how should he announce his arrival? Would she know he was here already? He debated turning back and making her scurry about to find him but as he pulled up his hand to knock finally, the door opened anyway, and Shepard nearly walked into him. She jumped slightly to see him there, gasping softly. The sound coiled around in his gut, dragging his mind back to her hands on his body. _Fucking get a grip, K!_ he chided himself as he cleared his throat and gave her a lukewarm smile.

“You wanted to speak to me, _Ma’am._ ” he drawled at her, looking slightly over her shoulder.

“Yeah, I… can you just stop that, Kaidan. Stop calling me ‘Ma’am’ like it’s some kind of insult.” She glared at him, forcing him to look at her. He closed his eyes quickly and shook his head slightly, his attitude telling her that he thought she was being petulant.

“My apologies, Commander.” He said firmly, returning her gaze. “What did you want to speak to me about?”

Her eyes followed a bead of water as it trailed over his shoulder and ran down his chest. A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips and he sighed, feigning boredom at her. She backed up, still looking at him with a half grin and ushered him in. As he stepped past her, she dropped in behind him, snagging a towel from the bathroom.

“So, what is it?” He said turning to face her again, trying not to be distracted by the huge fucking aquarium, or the collection of model ships she had amassed. This was like no cabin he had ever seen and her hobbies were plainly there on display.

“One, you need to dry off properly,” She laughed, chucking the towel at him. “Two, you can tell me to back off if it’s personal but I want to discuss something about you.”

“Back off.” He said dryly, she was not getting into his head again.

She moved past him and gestured for him to take a seat on the sofa. He dropped down the steps and sat down, his eyes immediately fell on the bed, _her bed_ , that was right in front of him. He looked up at her, and eyebrow raised and noticed a faint hint of pink bloom on her cheeks. She coughed lightly before settling down next to him, one leg tucked under the other on the seat as she faced him, her arm over the back of the sofa.

“I want to ask you about your implant.” She said finally, deciding to ignore the defences he had put up so quickly already. Kaidan stopped mopping the excess water from his neck to look at her, not sure where this was going or how much she might know about his past.

“What about it?” His eyes narrowed and he folded his arms defensively over his chest, momentarily forgetting about the towel that he left draped over his shoulder.

Shepard bit her lip as she decided on the best way to ask him about his abilities. The ever-present bubbling coming from the fish tank counted down the seconds they spent in silence before she finally spoke.

“When you use your Biotics, why do you seem to flare so much?” Shepard winced slightly as she said it, the words had come out wrong, but they were out in the open now.

“Flare _so much_?” Kaidan looked confused. Shepard laughed quickly at herself as she got up and stood in front of him. She let her own Biotics rush to the surface but settled them down close around her. The blue surrounding her only matched by the fish tank to her right.

“When you do it, it’s like chaos. I was curious about why you didn’t seem to control your power…”

He allowed his Biotics to surface and looked from himself to Shepard. She was right, the blue light flickered over his skin, spreading outwards like a flame yet when he tried to settle them around him they disappeared instead. Kaidan raised his eyes to hers, he couldn’t keep the disgust from his face, why did she have to rub it in that he was inferior because he apparently couldn’t do what she could.

“Are you trying to say I’m out of control, _Commander_?”

“No not at all, I’m,” She paused, she was beating around the bush and she knew it. Just ask him the goddamn question. She dropped down next to him and pulled the towel away, raising her hand and touching the back of his neck lightly. She felt him inhale sharply at the contact, he turned slightly to look at her and she could have sworn that she saw panic quickly flash behind his eyes. “I’m very aware of the raw power at your fingertips but I’m wondering how powerful you would really be if you had an Amp, Alenko.”

Her tone was gentle but had a ring of reprimanding him too. Kaidan suddenly felt like a child that he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been. His hand flew to the base of his skull and brushed her fingers aside as he tentatively touched the implant site. Eyebrows raising when his own fingers found the hollow of where his amp should have been. How had he not noticed this before?

“I had an amp, a fucking good one!” His tone rising as he made to stand. Shepard put her hand on his arm and forced him to remain seated. She could see him swallow hard, waiting for whatever bad news was going to come his way next. Instead Shepard stood up herself and went to her bedside table, pulling open the draw there and pulling out a box and cleaning supplies. She set them on the coffee table and reached her own hands behind her head, the soft click and her grimace told him that she had just unclipped her own amp.

Shepard looked down at the Amp in her hands, she had been told that no expense was spared when reconstructing her, but she was still surprised when they told her that she had been outfitted with a Serrice Council Savant Amp. The Lazarus Project had thrown a lot of credits at her, the tiny metal box in her hands was just a drop in the ocean though even if it was the most expensive one available.

She picked up the cleaning cloth and pulled the bottle and spare box to her. Wiping off the Amp, she left it to rest on a cloth on the table as she opened up the blue box she had brought with her. Inside was an Armali Council Prodigy Amp, identical to the one she had used before she died. She had bought it on one of her trips to the Citadel, wanting to have something of her past to cling to, to reassure her that she would still be _her_ even without the fancy high-end wetware that she had been given. Wiping this amp off she decided now was as good a time as ever and pulled her hair to one side as she leaned forward and slid the Prodigy into the implant site with a click.

Kaidan had been watching her, not sure why she was suddenly changing her Amp but he didn’t ask questions. His hand reached back instinctively to his own implant, gingerly feeling the void that should have housed whatever Amp he hadn’t managed to fry. How had he not even realised? Was he so caught up in what Shepard thought of him that he hadn’t even paid attention to what was going on in himself? He pulled his fingers away quickly, like he had been burnt when Shepard looked at him. He frowned, why the fuck was she rubbing it in that she had an Amp and he didn’t?

She picked up her old Amp by the edges, shifting her position on the sofa so that she could face him. He looked annoyed, and she had to agree that she would have been pretty pissed off if she had discovered that someone had taken her Amp. She smiled at him though as she pulled his hand towards her depositing the Amp into his palm and curling his fingers over it.

“I know it’s not new but take this one, you’ll get a damn sight more out of it than I ever will.” She nodded at him, gesturing for him to take a look at the new toy that was now his. He pulled back his hand, uncurling his fingers as the little golden box came into view. He snapped his eyes to her, unsure if this was actually for real or if she was going to take it back suddenly. “It’s yours. I want you to have it.” She pushed, as she settled back and waited for his reaction.

He turned the Amp over, his mouth opening slightly as the logo came into view. _Holy FUCK!_ No matter how much work he did as a Mercenary or no matter how much he stole he had never been able to afford the base model of these, let alone the top of the line one. She felt the sofa dip slightly next to him as Shepard shuffled over and squeezed his shoulder. He felt the corner of his mouth tug up as he started to smile at her, unsure even now if this was real or a dream. She picked the Amp out of his hand, he wanted to close his fingers around it and jump away in case she took it from him completely. The weight of her other hand resting below his implant site told him that she was just as eager to see him with it, he dropped his head forward as she moved closer, kneeling on the seat and resting her bodyweight against his arm.

He felt the change in power as soon as he heard the click. A ripple of energy washed over him, and he saw Shepards own Biotics tingling in response. “Why?” was all he said, as he looked at the back of his hands as barely visible blue strummed over the surface.

“Because you needed it more than I did.” Shepard dropped back down onto the sofa, kneeling next to him.

“I’m not a charity case, Shepard.”

Shepard winced at his words, she bit her lip again, annoyed that he thought she was doing it out of pity.

“I never said you were, I wanted to give you something to help you be even better than what I saw out there today. I wasn’t supposed to be something because I was feeling sorry for you.”

Kaidan paused, he knew he was deliberately being difficult and he should be the one apologising, not her. He couldn’t do it though, all his life he had been taught to never apologise as it makes you weak, shows your enemies that you have a vulnerability, _a heart_. This woman though, for the first time in a long time he wanted to show her that he wasn’t all hard edges, he wanted her to know that he did appreciate what she had done. If only he could make the result that followed the last time that he had done that, stop coming back to haunt him.

“I guess I’m a bit different to all the other men you’ve given presents to.” He laughed sarcastically; the joke being firmly centred on himself.

Shepard got up, Kaidan could feel the hurt rolling off her, amplified in the vacant space of where she had still leant against him before she moved.

“All the other men? I don’t make a habit of this, Alenko. Like I fawn over anyone who will say more than two words to me. And actually, if this is the thanks I’m getting, you’re _just_ like the men who I have helped out. Ungrateful and at this point, undeserving.”

Kaidan recoiled slightly at her words, he had fucked up big time. The joke he had made at his own expense had backfired spectacularly and led her to believe that he was _ungrateful_. He was anything but, his arms itched to pull her close and hug her after what she had done for him. But he knew that he couldn’t even do that without making her a target for anyone who wanted him dead. Anyone he had gotten close to had ended up used or killed, a pawn to push him in the direction that others wanted him to go. It angered him that if he didn’t tell her why he was being so standoffish then she was left to draw the conclusion that he was ungrateful, and undeserving but better that than having her dead. It stung, but the best course of action was to just follow it through and let her push him away, that way at least she wouldn’t be a potential target.

“If that’s what you think of me then I guess I shouldn’t disappoint you.” He stood up and made his way over to the door, flicking his wrist through the holo to let him out. He didn’t turn around, but he could feel Shepards Biotics carrying her anger and humiliation over to him as he stepped out into the short hallway that led to the elevator and the door closed behind him.

Neither of them had a restful night.

* * *

Shepards duty alarm went off at 0430. The noise bringing her out of what seemed to be the only good bit of sleep she had all night. Pulling on her BDU’s she crossed over to the tank to feed the fish and grab up her boots. Picking up a datapad she knew that she needed a good breakfast and she padded her way out of her cabin as she read the multitude of emails that had flooded in.

When she got to the Crew Deck her boots were on and she was in Commander mode. Nodding at the crew as she passed them on the way to the kitchen. Taking up her morning rations she made her way over to the corner of the big table and pulled up a chair next to Jacob. He smiled at her politely, about to turn back to his own breakfast before he paused, frowning slightly.

“Bad night?” He asked gently as she clattered her tray down on the tabletop and dropped ungracefully into the seat next to him. She could see Garrus, Kaidan and Grunt at the other end, deep in some conversation. She raised her voice slightly to ensure that the target of her annoyance would hear her.

“Could say that. Disappointing, actually might be a better word for it.” She sighed, shaking her head slightly. “Frustrating could be another.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Jacob offered as he watched Shepard poke at the rations on her tray. “Or if you fancied it we could talk and spar? Sometimes that works better for me.”

She smiled at him and took a peek at the end of the table as she bent her hear down to eat. She caught Kaidan staring at her as she looked out from beneath her eyelashes. He looked annoyed and she saw his Biotics flare slightly as Jacob stood up and clapped a hand on her shoulder. She deliberately raised her head and gave Jacob a big grin, knowing that Kaidan would see. If he was going to be ungrateful then she would show him what happens when people treat her with respect. What he was going to miss out on by being a bastard to her. She stood up, dropping her tray off at the kitchen and turned to join Jacob by the archway that led around to the elevator. She walked past behind Garrus, Kaidan and Grunt, ensuring that her voice was heard by the men sitting at the table.

“You better use your Biotics, Taylor, and if you hold back I’ll see to it that you’re demoted.” She laughed at him as he grinned at her threat.

“Aye Aye, Ma’am.”

They disappeared around the corner and Shepard could have sworn that she heard a chair being roughly scraped across the floor as the elevator door opened.

Once in the shuttle bay, Shepard found an elastic band and tied as much hair away from her face as she could. The two Biotics circled around each other, occasionally feinting to try and force a reaction. Jacob was cautious as he watched her move under the harsh lights. He knew her record as well as anyone else, he knew that he was up against N7 training and he wasn’t willing to make the first move, not physically at least. He noticed Kaidan standing at the window on the Engineering Deck, watching them but turned back to Shepard, realising that she had moved closer to him.

“Oh no you don’t,” He laughed and jumped back lightly on his feet, forearms raised and igniting his Barrier around him. Shepard laughed lightly and hit him with a light Warp, testing how much power he had invested in his protection. “So, what got you all frustrated?” He asked as they circled around each other, as Shepard picked away at his Barrier, practicing curling her attacks at him.

As soon as the windows were in view she also spotted him and a wry smile passed over her lips as she realised that the intercom into the shuttle bay was on. Kaidan was listening to their conversation, to find out what she was going to say to Jacob about her ‘bad night’. She was old enough to see jealousy when she saw it. Regardless of what excuse Kaidan would make up about why he was there.

“Just a memory going around in my head, wondering if I’d done the right thing or wasted my time.” She spat out for Kaidan’s benefit and finally lunged at Jacob, catching him off guard with a strike to his kidney. He grunted and sidestepped her next swing, blocking it with his arm.

“Oh, mission gone bad?” He pressed, trying to get her to spill out whatever it was that had her so wound up. Making a return lunge at her but she deflected it easily. He shook his head and went in harder, connecting a glancing blow to her shoulder.

“Not a mission, a person. You know? Tried to do good and had it thrown back in my face. Now I’m not sure it was worth the effort.” She sent a pull out to Jacob, but she cursed lightly as it went wide, the lack of power from the Amp she was wearing would take some getting used to. She needed to be more precise in her aim if she was ever going to hit anything on the battlefield again, that was for sure.

“Yeah, that’s a fucker when that happens. Sounds like me and my old man. Still, you thought you did what was for the best, right? That’s all you can really do.” He started throwing out his own Biotics, a shockwave knocked her back into the shuttle and she sent out a Warp in return. Listening as Jacob groaned with the effort of keeping his Barrier up.

“Still leaves a bad taste in your mouth, especially when you’ve made the choice to sacrifice something to ensure that they can succeed.”

Jacob looked puzzled and looked at Shepard, letting his guard down momentarily. He didn’t remember any mission recently that involved a person that this could relate to, so it must have been something in her past? Maybe to do with the old Normandy when she was with the Alliance?

“If it’s done, it’s done, Shepard. If this person doesn’t appreciate what you did then maybe all you can do is hope Karma gets them before the Reapers do.”

She laughed, leaning her head back and allowing the throaty noise to spread out into the shuttle bay. Jacob couldn’t help but smile at the sound. Kaidan flared slightly at the window, annoyed at all the words that were being said, how Jacob was convincing her to forget about _him_. He was annoyed at how they seemed to be effortlessly flirting with each other under the disguise of sparring. He folded his arms over his chest as he continued watching, unable to tear himself away.

“Maybe you’re right, Jacob. Now shall we do this or are we just going to pussy foot around all day?” She finally said, the grin on her face turning predatory as she lowered her stance.

“Oh, you’re on, Shepard.” He replied, readying himself.

The Biotics flew as they unleased everything on each other. Running and ducking behind the various pipes and crates that littered the edges of the room. Shepard was in the zone and changed her course of action as Jacob was waiting for his Amp to cooldown. She flared brightly and Charged at him, knocking into him with a ferocious speed. The wind left his lungs and Shepard knocked him off his feet and launched him backwards onto the metal floor in the middle of the room. Grunting in pain he slapped his hand down on the floor three times to signal his surrender. Shepard lifted herself off him, laughing as she pushed the sweat and hair off her forehead. Rubbing a hand on her trousers she held it out to him to pull him to his feet. Jacob nodded at her warily, he had never seen her do that before and wondered why she had held out on it for so long.

“Chakwas,” Shepard nodded at him, slightly out of breath as she tried to get her Biotics under control. “I got her to readjust my outputs after the mission yesterday, no point on doubling up.” She looked at the window to see Kaidan still there, watching and listening. “Might change it again though, next mission is to get the Doctor and I think I’m going to need firepower over raw Biotic strength.” She looked up to see Kaidan turn away from the window and bring his hands up to his temples before his fingers dropped down to the Amp, touching it lightly and then moving away just as fast.

“He’s been watching the entire time, you know.” Jacob said, following her gaze.

“Has he? Maybe he wanted to see how real Biotics trained.” She laughed as Jacob arched his eyebrows, they both knew that Kaidan was more powerful than they both were, and Shepard was secretly aware of that more than anyone, seeing as she had just outfitted him with the best goddamn Amp available.

“I certainly would not want to get on his bad side, that is for sure.”

“Hey, does that mean you would risk being on my bad side?” She nudged Jacob with her shoulder as they stood there facing the window. Kaidan had propped himself so that he was looking into the corridor, pretending to read something on his omni-tool, but the way he was stood meant he was still able to see what was going on below him.

“Hell, _no._ I’ve seen you fight. You play with your food Shepard. Lull them into a false sense of security and then rip them apart from the inside out. Plus all this changing up how your nodes perform, I never know what the hell you’re going to do. The panic is enough to kill people with a heart attack, let alone what you might do to them after.”

She clapped him on the shoulder and motioned to the elevator, laughing at him as they passed under the window. She hoped Kaidan heard it all, she might not have his raw power but she was _deadly_ and fuck anyone who pissed her off.

* * *

She stepped out of the women’s washroom and checked in with Joker to check on their ETA to Omega. He relayed that the approach to the dock should commence in about an hour if there was no hold up for them. Thanking him, she turned her head from the ceiling and was about to head down to the Main Battery when she dipped into the Med Bay and only emerged a few minutes later when she had Reave back in her repertoire.

Walking towards the Battery she caught a glimpse of Kaidan stood near the sleeper pods, She blinked slowly and walked straight past him, ignoring the crawl of his Biotics as they marched over her skin and disappeared into the room at the end of the corridor.

“Garrus, we have a problem,” She announced as the door were closing. He turned to face her; his mandibles fluttered slightly as he searched her face with his bright blue eyes. “The plague isn’t over on Omega; can you walk with me?” She turned back to the door and waited in the opening. He nodded and followed her out.

“So, what’s the problem?” He asked her as they meandered back through the sleeper pods.

“The plague is targeting anyone who _isn’t_ Human. So If I ask you to come, I would be knowingly putting you at risk.” She paused to face him before they descended the steps onto the Crew Deck. “However, It’s also crawling with Mercs and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have with me, or who would enjoy it more.” She gave him a watery grin, it was a big ask and she knew it.

Garrus exhaled slowly, looking out over the mess hall as he considered his options. She was giving him a way out, as always but he also knew that there was no one here that knew the back alleys of Omega better than him. He paused though, there might be someone who could help her without dying to some random disease.

“What about him?” He dropped his voice as he subtly nodded at the Biotic mooching around behind them. “He’s immune and I’m pretty sure that he would be able to get you in the right direction if his stories about his time on Omega are true.”

Shepard pursed her lips and looked behind her, Kaidan’s boots showed that he had perched in between some pods, still evidently intent on listening to her conversations wherever she went.

“It’s complicated.” She confided eventually with a small shrug of her shoulders.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but he’s been following you around all day. I’ve seen starving Varren with less dedication to their next meal. He’s desperate to prove something to you, I don’t know what but for the sanity of everyone here, consider taking him along.”

Shepard cocked her head to one side and gave Garrus a withering look. He chuckled at it and clapped his hand against her arm. Rolling her eyes, she conceded defeat.

“ _If,_ I take him along, does that mean you’re in too?”

“I’ll go, someone has to have your six, right?”

“Thanks Garrus.” Shepard exhaled, relief washing over her. She really didn’t know where she would be without the Turian. He had been with her from the start and hadn’t turned his back on her when others she’d relied upon had.

“Alenko, I know your sulking back there,” she shouted over her shoulder, watching Garrus grin at her. “I need you for Omega, get your kit ready and I will see you in the shuttle bay in thirty.” She clapped Garrus back on the arm and strode off to the elevator to get to the Armory.


	3. Dossier: The Professor

Kaidan was grinning as they stepped out of Afterlife, the pulsing music still assaulting their ears after the main doors had closed behind them.

“Always such a pleasure seeing Aria.” Garrus added dryly as he rolled his shoulders, as if dislodging something discomforting that clung to them.

The red glow of the neon lights faded as they turned the corner towards the slums. Shepard argued with the guard momentarily, demanding access and a chance to sort out whatever was down there. The guard relented, much to the frustration of another Human who was trying to gain access to protect her own home from the looters.

“Why the hell does she get in and I don’t?!” The woman shrieked, throwing her arms wildly in Shepard’s direction.

“Lady, you are distinctly lacking a grenade launcher. There’s no way I’m letting you in.” He told her calmly, not wanting this to escalate any more than it was already.

“Fucking Mercs, think you run the place. Hope you fucking die in there!” She screamed at Shepard and the ground team as she stalked off.

“Ah, Omega, never change.” Garrus quipped as the guard opened the door and let them through. His humour dissipated as soon as he saw the state of devastation that was apparent. Fires burned, doors were broken, homes looted. The plague had brought out the worst in the people who were dying down here.

“Lets go,” Shepard said to him quietly as they passed the last few remaining guards and turned a corner to go down a flight of stairs. Kaidan slunk around behind them, quietly taking in everything.

As the group rounded the corner they found themselves staring at the backs of two Blue Suns Mercs. Shepard cast a wary glance towards Kaidan, wondering if he was going to unleash on them as payback for Purgatory. Instead he simply looked to her for his orders. Shepard motioned for him to Pull the one on the right while she would go for the one on the left. Counting down, they executed the attack with precision timing, the Mercs flying overhead as Garrus picked them off with his sniper.

Moving further into the slums, a Batarian propped himself up against a wall with a grunt, hissing as he realised that Humans were approaching him. Shepard dropped down to her knees beside him and tried to sooth his anger and distrust, catching the aliens franticly waving hand as she used medi-gel to take the edge off the illness that was spreading though him. He relented slightly, giving her time and patience to ask him questions about the Doctor and where to find him. She turned to look at Garrus and Kaidan, noting that they both wore different expressions. Garrus had slipped back into his C-Sec demeanour, not giving anything away but she knew that he was processing every little bit of information that passed over the Batarian’s lips. Kaidan, on the other hand, seemed to look guilty and intrigued all in one go as he contemplated her kindness to the mistrustful alien.

Once Shepard had stood, promising to send someone to get him when she found the Doctor, Kaidan asked her why she had bothered to try and save his life. She turned slightly to him and slowed her pace.

“Because leaving him to die doesn’t help me and it certainly doesn’t help him.” She pushed forward, ignoring the puzzled look on his face as she headed to the door.

They followed more stairs and found themselves heading to what was Kokomo Plaza, Shepard slowed again and nodded to Garrus, who instantly knew what she was planning. Kaidan shrugged his shoulders at her, waiting for her instructions. She just motioned that she wanted him on the far side. Frowning, he nodded and sprinted across the gap, drawing the fire of the Mercs who were in position behind a high barricade.

With the distraction, Garrus managed to get a clean headshot on the unprotected Merc as Shepard sent a Warp out to the one on the far side, stripping away their shields. She waited, holding her hand up so that Garrus would hold fire and she looked over to Kaidan who finally stood up and sent a Throw towards the Merc and sent him reeling into the far back wall with a sickening thud.

“What you were expecting?” Garrus whispered in her ear as they both looked over at the Biotic.

“Not really, but it’s a start I guess.” She replied quietly.

Echoing footsteps alerted them to the reinforcements that were headed their way. Garrus and Shepard took position further into the Plaza to ensure that they had a better field of vison. Kaidan skidded over to them, he looked pissed off.

“So, what is the actual plan? You two seem to know what you’re doing, how about you let me in on it?”

Shepard smirked at him, since when did the great criminal Biotic ever need a plan? “I thought this would be your idea of heaven? Just letting rip at a load of Mercs with everything you’ve got.”

“Yeah well, I’m starting to see the benefits of teamwork.” He snorted in reply, suddenly feeling excluded.

“You want to do what we did last time?” She asked him, looking down as he crouched behind her legs while the Mercs fanned out into the room. She felt his hand on her knee and his biotics flood her system, clearly a yes to her question. Nodding at Garrus who signified he was ready in return; she threw out a Singularity that managed to pick up two of the Mercs as it hovered between the crates they were hiding behind. Digging down she curved a Warp up into the Singularity, detonating it with astonishing force, the impact hurtling the two Merc outwards and the force knocking back a third who Garrus immediately shot at with his sniper.

The fighting continued until they managed to push forward, with Kaidan holding onto Shepard around her waist and holding up an impressive Barrier as she continued to pick off the Mercs that tried their luck. Garrus taking his time and sending out headshot after headshot from his position at the back. Once the room was cleared, they regrouped at the top of a set of stairs and listened to the firefight that was going on below them.

“You ok?” Shepard asked Kaidan as he scrubbed the sweat from his brow. She knew that the Savant had given her a huge boost in power that took some time to get used to, for Kaidan it must be overwhelming after fighting without one.

“I’m holding back a little, I didn’t want to overload you.” He admitted.

“Maybe we should switch places then, I’m sure you can handle everything I can give you.” She tried to shut down the smirk that was trying to creep up at her obvious battlefield flirting. He just arched an eyebrow at her.

“Gunfire has stopped Shepard; do we wait or push?” Garrus asked, bringing her back into the room and out of Kaidan’s gaze.

“Push. Quiet and quick, they won’t know what has hit them.” She turned to go but Kaidan grabbed her hand and started pulling her down the stairs, using his Biotics to keep their feet off the actual floor until they were almost gliding. Garrus lightly took three steps at a time and dropped quietly against the archway behind them. Shepard lent over Kaidan and had a quick sweep of the room.

“Blood Pack. And a lot of dead Blue Suns. This just got interesting,” Garrus nodded at her words and she turned to Kaidan as she stepped back behind him. “You got that amazing throw ready?”

He nodded and let go of her hand. gathering his Biotics. Shepard gingerly placed a hand on his hip as she pushed her own power over to join his, closing her eyes slightly as he flared brightly. She noticed that his Biotics were more controlled now, not flowing over him like flames but buzzing closely over his form. She held up her hand to the side of his face and counted down from three to zero on her fingers at which point he moved forward, causing Shepard to grab onto his belt to ensure that she didn’t lose contact with him. Pulling his arms back he thrust them forward with a yell, the cascade of blue energy sweeping forward into the room taking the unprotected Mercs with it and causing others to stagger drunkenly on their feet as they tried to avoid toppling over.

Garrus got to the other side of the door in the commotion and fired his assault rifle into the room, taking out some of the badly wounded ones before switching quickly back to his sniper.

“Krogan incoming!” The Turian yelled as Kaidan let out a Shockwave to stop the Mercs from getting too close to them.

Shepard felt her Amp starting to warm as she pushed as much power forward as she could and squeezed Kaidan’s hip, it was now or never. He stepped forward slightly again as he thrust out his hand and curved a Warp around at the Krogan before he started his Charge. The big Merc faltered slightly as he registered that his armor was gone and his health wasn’t regenerating. Bellowing, he started his rush forwards towards the Biotic stood in the doorway.

The bark of the sniper to her right got Shepard moving, she pressed forward against Kaidan and released a Reave towards the Krogan, feeling the red and purple energy encase both of them and she heard Kaidan gasp softly. She smiled wryly as she registered that this was likely his first time experiencing what a Reave could do. The Krogan hesitated, as though he was going to go for cover but a cleanly placed bullet below his cranial plating took him out.

Pressing forward into the room the ground team forced the Blood Pack back, taking out any reinforcements that they sent. Garrus placing bullets into the tanks of the pyros, their fuel tanks detonating and spraying their own teammates with molten liquid, the screaming and smell of burning flesh drifting over.

Once the smoke cleared, a glowing sign directing them to the clinic was visible on a pillar. Garrus nodded at Shepard, ready to proceed when he coughed harshly.

“Oh that’s not good.” He grimaced. Shepard looked at him with concern, maybe she shouldn’t have taken him at all and brought Jacob or Miranda with her. If he was infected, rather than just the smoke itching his lungs, she wasn;t sure how she was going to deal with that. Ever the Commander, she compartmentalised her fears and patted him on the shoulder. He nodded again to proceed.

* * *

Mordin’s clinic was nothing like she had expected. There were people everywhere, some here due to the plague, some here for shelter. The group moved though and followed the sound of a rapid speech being given, this must be him, the Salarian was musing over some prognosis as a patient lay on the table in front of him, howling in pain.

“Doctor Solus I presume?” Shepard announced, as the group crowded into the makeshift treatment room.

“Human, Human, Turian. Oh dear, likely infected already, hmmm.” He turned his omni-tool towards Garrus who was trying to suppress a cough. “Yes, as thought, so called plague already in system, need cure to survive, positive outcome expected however, I have one. Here. One dose. Yes, done, you are fine.”

The ground team looked among themselves as the Doctor pushed a canister towards the Turians face, motioning for him to open up and sprayed a fine mist towards the back of his throat. Garrus swallowed thickly, grimacing slightly as his mandibles fluttered before announcing that actually, he was feeling better.

Shepard approached the Doctor, asking about the clinic as a way of finding out how to convince him to drop it all and come with her. Learning that he had once been part of the Salarian Special Tasks Group, she mentioned Kirrahe, the Captain she had met while on Virmire. Solus nodded quickly, stating that he had worked with him and Salarian was famous for his ‘hold the line’ speeches. Garrus smirked, knowing full well what that speech sounded like.

When Shepard finally broached the subject of leaving, the Doctor hesitated, quickly adding that it wasn’t due to not wanting to leave, he understood why he had been selected for the mission but he needed to find his assistant Daniel who had gone off to try an inoculate people but hasn’t returned.

“If you can keep a look out for him on your way to the environmental centre where you can deploy the cure, much appreciated.” He added, in his quick tone.

“Alright, so he’s in Vorcha territory, that’s going to mean Blood Pack. Are we ready to do this?” Shepard asked the other two, waiting for them to nod their commitment.

She thanked the Doctor and made her way out of the clinic via the back door and made her way over to the stairs waiting to go up. The lights were dim and shadows crawled up everywhere. Shepard signalled for Garrus and Kaidan to stay back as she snuck up the stairs and had a quick glance in the room. There was a pyro with his back to her, stood near some other Mercs, she unclipped her pistol slowly and raised it up, taking one shot at the tank on the back of the Vorcha. The Mercs whirled around at the noise before the tank exploded, killing two of them instantly and leaving the third writhing around on the floor as the fuel burned over him. Reinforcements came in almost instantly at the noise, annoyingly ducking down at the back of the room and making it difficult to get a clean shot at this distance. She tried to throw a Warp out but it sailed past, dissipating on the wall behind as the Vorcha stood up and fired repeatedly at the stairs they were trapped on.

“Fuck this,” Shepard grumbled as she pulled out a grenade and threw it hard into the room above. There were four or five metallic noises as the grenade splintered around the room and sharp explosions followed.

Kaidan looked at Garrus, trying to get information on what the hell she had just lobbed.

“Flashbang Grenade.” He whispered, before climbing up the stairs and levelling his sniper on the top step to take out the Mercs that staggered around disorientated and finding their weapons out of action.

A Krogan rounded the corner, intent on just using brute force if he couldn’t use his weapon. Shepard leant back and took Kaidan’s hand quickly, flaring brightly as she started to ready and attack. The power burned through her almost instantly making her Amp tingle as the Warp went out. The Krogan stumbled sideways slightly, Garrus sending two bullets his way before popping out his thermal clip and quickly replacing it. Shepard sent out another Warp, stripping the Krogan of all his armor and leaving him vulnerable. Kaidan slipped in beside her, still holding her hand and propped his shotgun up on the top step before pulling the trigger. The Krogan crumpled.

“Push in while they are regrouping!” She yelled, dragging Kaidan with her to a stack of crates as Garrus crashed behind a pillar as the first shots rang out in retaliation. “Do you think you can create a Shockwave wide enough to take out that staggered group near the back?” She asked Kaidan, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Dunno,” He replied, taking a cautious peek at the Mercs she was asking about. “If I go wide, the power fades quicker.”

“What about if I help you?”

“We can give it a try.” He shrugged, not sure if she would be able to give him enough power to send a Shockwave out that covered half of the long room like she was hoping.

He looked back to her when he noticed her Barrier fail, glancing around to try and see where the attack was coming from.

“Ready?” She asked as she gritted her teeth and pulled her gloves off and tucking them awkwardly in her clip pouch, placing both hands on his skin above his belt. He felt the tingle instantly and then the rush of power as she drove everything forward.

“Holy shit,” He mumbled as he steadied himself, turning to face the direction she was wanting taken out. He launched the joint Biotics forward, listening to the explosions as each wave crashed into each other. Garrus was busy picking off the Mercs that Kaidan had just exposed, running forward as he stowed his sniper and pulled out the rifle for suppressive fire, allowing the two Biotics to advance with him. Another Krogan appeared, angry and a lot closer to them than the last one. Kaidan pulled Shepard to him as they ducked behind a pillar. He looked down at her and turned them around so that he was facing out into the direction of the final Merc and she had her back to the pillar. She raised her hand up between them and rested it on his chest as he watched her close her eyes briefly as the energy rushed though him again. Locking eyes with her as the blue swirled around them, he turned his attention to the charging Krogan and grunted as he sent out a Warp with everything he could muster, ripping through the armor and depleting over half of its health. He stepped back quickly as the bullets ricochet off the pillar around them, leaning over Shepard and forming a Barrier over them both.

“Garrus get it before it gets us!” He yelled at the Turian, squeezing his eyes shut to concentrate on keeping the Barrier as strong as he could.

The rattling of the assault rifle echoed out into the room as the Krogan slumped to the floor. His hard suit crunching where the bullets had caused fractures. Garrus stepped out into the room from his position and noted that they were clear. Kaidan finally let the Barrier down and stepped away from Shepard. He blushed slightly as Garrus grinned at him, cocking his head slightly to one side.

“It was a small pillar.” Was all he could say to excuse the otherwise compromising position he had been in with Shepard.

“Oh I can see that.” The Turian shot back, laughing lightly.

Shepard stepped out, pulling on her gloves and tugging her pistol free. “That welcoming party must mean we are getting close, I’m not sure we can hold off many more if all three of us are not focusing on independently attacking them.”

“Agreed,” Garrus replied as he checked over a suspicious gambling terminal. “Oh, someone’s been bad, but here have 3,000 credits.”

“Your C-Sec days are over, Vakarian. Let’s go.”

Coming to the top of a set of stairs, Garrus paused, tugging at the neck of his hardsuit.

“The environmental controls have been cut. Listen.”

Shepard turned her head to the vents, the stillness of the air and the missing drone of fans confirmed what Garrus had said. The heat was steadily rising as well, not a great combination.

The corridor had two doors, one was unlocked and the muffled sounds of arguing drifted though. Shepard checked her pistol over and passed her hand though the holo, raising her gun as the door opened.

“Who the fuck are _you_?” The Batarian snapped, his gun pressing against a Human male’s head.

“I’m Commander Shepard, I’m here to ensure that the cure is distributed.” She lowered her gun, not wanting this to turn into a bloodshed if it could be helped.

“Shepard, yes I’ve heard about you.”

“Please!” The Human trilled, fright clear in his voice.

“That must be David, the assistant Solus was telling us about.” Garrus whispered, stepping forward but finding a gun trained on him. He held up his hands trying to prove that he was no threat.

The Batarian coughed. Grimacing and spitting out whatever he had managed to dislodge. “Why are you not sick? Only Humans and the Vorcha should be unaffected.”

“Because I was given a cure by the Salarian Doctor, the same cure this man is trying to offer you.”

“Lies! The Humans created the plague!”

“Then why isn’t he dead already? Scan him, you’ll find that he’s telling the truth.” Shepard bit out, panic and anger could be the turning point that could lead to more bad than good happening if she couldn’t get them to see reason.

The Batarian gestured to one of his compatriots who raised their omni-tool and swept it over Garrus as he stood motionless, allowing them to perform the task. There was a brief discussion before the leader of this group lowered his gun and motioned for the others to leave.

“I’m sure that you’ve found that we are telling the truth, let us get the cure out.” Shepard said in a level tone as the leader was the last one left in the room.

“Why, so you can kill us anyway?”

“You have my word that the only ones who are going to be getting my bullets are the ones who stop us trying to help you people.”

The Batarian studied Shepard, his four eyes blinking steadily at her as he weighed up his options. Finally, he nodded at her, stowing his gun and left the group as he exited the room.

“Thank you, Commander. I was sure I was going to be killed! They didn’t want to listen to me that I had a cure for them.” Danial said as he sagged against the table.

“Solus said that he was waiting for your return before he could help me, but before you go, he also said about using the environmental system to distribute the cure? Anything you can tell me about that?”

“I have vials of it here, I was going to inoculate anyone I could find but if it could be dispensed into the air by adding it to the filtration system then the particles would get out to everyone that is here. The Blood Pack… they’ve taken over the area, they’re closer than we thought, you’ll need to get past them to do it though.”

Shepard raised her eyebrows at Garrus, this had just got more complicated.

“Get going, the path back to the clinic is clear if you move now.” She added finally, pointing firmly at the door. Daniel didn’t need telling twice and ran off, yelling out a final thanks and wish for luck in their endeavour before the clatter of his feet on the stairs disappeared.

“Lets see what we have behind door number two then.” Garrus joked, enjoying all the Human phrases he had picked up during his time in C-Sec and on the original Normandy.

“If its heavily fortified we just might have to work independently,” She look around the room, checking in crates until she found something and added a grenade to her belt and an old assault rifle to the clip on her right shoulder. “Right, let’s go.”

Opening the door and making their way quietly along the platform, they were instantly sent running for cover by a rocket heading their way. The impact causing Shepards ears to ring and her vision to blur at the edges. Garrus had pulled out his sniper and was already working to take one of them down as they bounce in and out of cover. Kaidan was sending out Warps, curving them behind the half wall that another one was trying to hide behind.

Shepard moved further down, taking a cautious glance downward at the group of six Mercs that loitered downstairs. They were slowly making their way up.

“Can you keep the Heavies on their toes while I try and hold off the ground party?” Shepard whispered to them over the comms. Both men replied with an affirmative. Garrus didn’t take his eyes from the scope but Kaidan looked over to her, a worried expression passed over his face as he too looked down at what Shepard was about to throw herself into.

“Did you want me to deal with them?” Kaidan asked, as Shepards HUD flashed up that he was talking to her on a private channel.

“I’ll be fine.” She told him in a tone that indicated it was an order. She looked over and he just nodded grimly at her and turned his attention back to the Heavies on the platform opposite.

Shepard curved a Singularity around the corner of the stairs to make the Mercs go a longer way around and into her sights before they could reach her.

The ensuing fight was long, and they weren’t even at the environmental centre. Shepards Amp was burning and for the first time she was annoyed that Kaidan now had her old Savant. The number of Mercs that were coming at her was pushing her to her limits while Kaidan would have been able to hold them off with ease. Maybe she should have swallowed her pride and allowed him to take over.

Pressing forward, the ground team found themselves looking down into a room that separated into two further lower levels, one at each side. The environmental control rooms housed in each of them.

The Blood Pack were relentless at trying to prevent them from getting the ventilation back online. Sending out heavies, pyros and Krogan to stop them. The screeching Vorcha in the first environmental control room they tried to take back made it clear that they were working for the Collectors, taking great pleasure in telling Shepard that the plague had been developed by the secretive race before being deployed by the Vorcha in the hopes of luring Shepard to Omega where she was to be captured and exchanged for technology that would stop the Vorcha being seen as the rats of the system.

“Why me?” She spat, disgust barely concealed at the amount of innocent lives that had been lost to try and reach their goal.

“The Collectors want a healthy Human Biotic. You are the strongest, you are just what they want.” The Vorcha screeched at her, waving his gun around alarmingly. Shepard looked quickly to Kaidan; she had just been given the title that he wore proudly. If he was annoyed at the apparent dismissal of his capabilities, he didn’t show it.

“Not going to happen.” Garrus choked back a laugh as he hit the Vorcha at point blank range with his sniper. The bullet shredded through the Vorcha’s unarmored chest, blood bubbling up though the wound as he collapsed to the floor.

The two others that were with him opened fire, there was nowhere to hide for cover as the bullets flew. Kaidan stood between his teammates and threw out a Barrier over them, glowing almost white as he held firm. Shepard pulled out the assault rifle she had picked up and smiled as it barked out three bullets with every pull of the trigger. Between them all, they were going to get this done.

* * *

Staggering back to the door that they had first been let through Shepard banged on it with the butt of her pistol, waiting for the guard on the other side to open it. Solus stood next to her, a footlocker grasped in one hand and a SMG in the other. The door finally slid open she found a gun pointed at her but also Aria herself stood behind the guard.

“I hear that you did some cleaning up in there?” She smirked as Solus stepped forward and pushed the guard’s gun aside.

“Cure released, already showing signs of success. Recommend lockdown for two days until system had distributed to all areas.” The Doctor muttered to her as he walked out ahead of the group. “Must get to ship to start work on Collectors.”

Aria let them pass, watching silently as they walked away from the slums and back to the hallway that took them to the Normandy docking port. The ground team said nothing to her, focused instead on the thought of a long shower and some rations after a hard day fighting.


	4. Armax Arguments

Shepard wasn’t sure how to deal with Kaidan. He had worked tirelessly through the day, following orders and giving his all like she would expect from a career marine. Yet, she was still annoyed with him, even after he had worked so closely with her. Garrus had suggested that she bring him along, he wouldn’t have been her first choice just as punishment for his behaviour to her. Now, even after everything she knew that he deserved praise for a job well done.

She got EDI to track him down and tell him to report to the Mess Hall. The deck was mostly empty, with the few crew members who were there, scooting up to the end of the table and out of her way as she put a datapad down and a bunch of protein bars.

He appeared from the archway as she was pulling some large mugs down from the top shelf of the cupboard in the kitchen. Standing on tip toes she had managed to snag one but the other was just out of reach. The shirt of her BDU’s had worked it’s way out and was riding up at her side, revealing a small tattoo on her hip. He smiled as he watched her, trying not to laugh out loud as she brought a knee up onto the work surface to give herself the final boost to her height so that she could drag down the mug she was trying to snag. She flicked the coffee pot on and leant against the worktop, turning to face Kaidan as he made his way over to her.

“You wanted to see me?” His tone level and professional. The laughter from earlier had disappeared.

“I do,” She gestured towards the table. “I think we need a professional and a personal debrief.”

“Shepard I’m sorry.” He blurted out, licking his bottom lip nervously. He _needed_ to apologise to her before this personal debrief went south like last time. He ran a hand through his hair, unintentionally skimming over the Amp that she had given to him and he felt unease in his core.

Shepard said nothing as she brought over two cups of coffee and pushed one in front of him as he sat opposite her. She clicked on the datapad and looked at the screen, the Cerberus logo sitting at the top of the document and the Biotics name listed underneath next to the phrase ‘Subject Zero’. She had read the dossier before bringing it down to hand to him, what she found in there was nothing short of horrific. His blurted apology and the nerves he was displaying now seemed to show what kind of man he could have been if Cerberus and the Alliance hadn’t sunk their claws in him before tossing him away like trash.

“Professional debrief first,” She started, looking at the coffee in front of her before flicking her eyes up at the man sat opposite her. The subtle lighting making his tattoos deepen in colour, enhancing the contours of his frame as he shifted in his seat. “You outdid yourself, Alenko. Keep it up and I’ll have to keep you around even after this mission is over.” She smiled at him warmly, he deserved the praise.

“Just doing what you busted me out of prison for, Ma’am.” A blush was developing along his collarbones and slowly climbing up his neck. He lifted the mug up to hide himself from her smile.

“I busted you out on the understanding that I was going to be recruiting an angry, uncontrolled criminal with a thirst for bloodshed. What I saw today was still angry, yes but controlled. You delivered more than I was expecting when I first read your file.” Her finger traced around the edge of the datapad as she contemplated how true her words were, what she had read in the file she had been given by Miranda and what she had read after the classified files had been released to her, it was like she was talking to a completely different person. Yes, he was rough around the edges, brash, sour and arrogant but he knew what needed to be done and didn’t hesitate about doing it. He wasn’t afraid of teamwork, which was her biggest worry about recruiting him for the mission, he showed today that he would sacrifice personal glory if it meant getting everyone to the end of a job well done. It was a shame that the Alliance had CAT 6’ed him.

“Shepard, I don’t need your praise. You tell me what to do and I’ll do it. No need to bribe me with smiles and coffee.” He sat back, looking like he couldn’t wait to get away from her. She frowned at him slightly and then shrugged.

“I get it, you don’t want gratitude for just doing your job. I however, wouldn’t be happy knowing I hadn’t told you how grateful I was that you were there today. So, just suck it up for five minutes,” Kaidan started to protest when Shepard held her hand up to him. “That’s and _order,_ Alenko.”

He threw his hands up in defeat but couldn’t keep the grin from creeping over his lips. She shuffled some of the protein bars over to him as she tore one open herself and took a bite before washing it down with coffee. They sat in silence before Kaidan cleared his throat.

“About yesterday,” He started, glancing quickly at the two crew members who were still seated at the other end of the table. He paused, he couldn’t whisper across the table without potentially being heard so he stood up and scooted his chair around until he was sat at the head of the table next to her. He dropped his head slightly to lean in and whisper to her. “last night was the first time in a _long_ time that anyone has done anything like that for me, I felt awkward, weak maybe for you needing to do that so I made a joke about me, how I knew that I wasn’t like other men. I’m a shitbag, and the first to admit it but you still did that for me. I wasn’t insinuating that you frequently dish out favours to men.” He turned slightly to check her expression. She was looking down, eyebrows slightly raised as she processed what he had said, but the silence was killing him.

“Fuck, this is so stupid,” He flushed slightly, looking back towards the Main Battery and thinking that he could just get up and leave this conversation behind. “Look, any time I got close to someone; Cerberus would use them to see if they could get me angry enough to push my Biotics even harder. In the end they used the torture of anyone they felt I was close to, experimental implants and fucking narcotics to keep me angry and addicted to the feeling of killing. What they taught me is also what led to me getting dishonourably discharged from the Alliance after they picked me up at eighteen. I’ve made sure I kept everyone at arm’s length since then. So, it’s nothing personal, Shepard.”

Shepard turned to him and put her index finger on the screen of the datapad and slid it towards him. “I know, Kaidan.”

He pulled back slightly and dropped his eyes to the screen, the Cerberus logo glaring out at him and then the smaller words underneath. ‘Subject Zero’. He shivered unintentionally, fighting to keep those particular nightmares under lock and key. He looked up to see that she was watching him from behind her mug as she sipped slowly. The datapad held everything that he had asked for but now it was here, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to read it.

“If you know then why are you doing this?” He asked quietly, his fingers making to pick up the pad but then pulling back as if the edges were red hot. She let a small grin curl her lips as she put the mug down, reaching out and taking his wrist to force him to lay his hands on the pad in front of him.

“Because what I’ve seen of you is nothing like what they tried to make you. The facility you were at, it’s long gone. The Cerberus agents that were there, I probably killed a fair few of them when I was with the Alliance. Trust me, I’m not giving the Alliance a free pass. They knew what had happened to you and tried to use it for their own advantage and when it backfired, they dropped you like a rock.” She paused, letting go of his wrist and resting her hand on top of his, feeling the tingle of his Biotics under her palm. “But, whoever you felt you were then, has grown up and it’s created a hell of a man out of you. Even if on the wrong side of galactic law for most of it.”

He grimaced, for once feeling slightly ashamed about his past. “All I know is how to kill and use people. I don’t think that’s made me a ‘hell of a man’, it’s made me a bastard at best.”

“Explain how you have used me?”

“I used your ship to take me off Purgatory.”

“And, yet here you still are.” Shepard looked at him, waiting for him to try and say something else to back up his insistence that he was using everyone.

“And here I am still using you.” He laughed sarcastically at his own words.

“How?” Shepard was curious to see if he would admit how he thought he was still using her.

He drew in a sharp breath and leaned towards her slightly, dropping his voice to barely a whisper to keep it from the crew that were still annoyingly sat at the other end of the table. “I’m treating you like shit to protect myself. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t enjoy killing people, but it’s only when they are fuckers who deserve it. You don’t deserve it and if you get hurt, it hurts me. Ok. I need to keep you the fuck away from me for my own selfish reasons.”

Shepard lent back, her eyes narrowed as she took in what he had just said. He didn’t want her to get hurt, because then it would hurt him. In his own crazy way that sounded like he wanted her to be close to him, but he didn’t want _her_ to get hurt. It also sounded suspiciously like he was saying it was all for his benefit so that he could keep up the bad-boy facade that he had cultivated for so long.

“Then what about all the battlefield flirting, Alenko?” She felt a grin tug at her lips as she tried to keep a straight face.

“You really want to know?” He asked, wincing a little as she nodded. “Let’s just say it gives me something to think about late at night in that damn uncomfortable cot.”

Shepard laughed, throaty and rich as she grinned at him. He felt embarrassment bubbling up and hurt at the fact she was laughing at him trying to be honest with her.

“You don’t have to make it so obvious that you would never slum it with someone like me. Jesus fucking Christ.” He pushed his chair back and stood up, moving swiftly out of the range of Shepards hand as she tried to get him to sit back down. He didn’t care that the two at the end of the table had stopped their conversation and were slyly looking over at him as he let his sour attitude settle back into place.

He was fucking done trying to impress her, live up to what she expected as it was pretty clear what she did actually expect of him. It was right there in that datapad. A messed-up man who got kicks out of killing people. A man who had been experimented on until pain was reassigned in his head as pleasure. A man who would _never_ end up on the radar of someone like the great Commander Shepard. Being stuck in this tin can of a ship with her everywhere he looked was screwing with his head, he needed to get away from her and fast.

He stalked off, leaving everything on the table and headed down to the underbelly of Engineering. Kicking a box out of the way and leaning against the railings over the miserable little cot.

“EDI,” He growled at the ceiling, and waited until the AI spoke softly to him to confirm that he had her attention. “I don’t want any comms, no interruptions. If anyone tries to ask where I am tell them you don’t know, if anyone tried to come down here, tell them that they are not welcome.”

“As you wish Mr. Alenko. May I ask what I am to tell the Commander, as the highest-ranking officer on board she has access to any area of the ship unless it is due to safety precautions.”

“Then tell her that she’s locked out for her safety. I don’t care, just keep her away from me.”

“Understood. I will attempt to do so.”

It went quiet as the comm went dead. Kaidan dropped down on the cot and tried to close his eyes. He was just going to exist down here and sneak up for rations when he could and that was it. No one would see him until the stupid final mission. 

He kicked off his boots and laid back, thinking back to what they had talked about. She was right to point out he was still here, why didn’t he just get the fuck out the next time they went planet side? Or even when or if they went back to Omega. He vaguely remembered that there was talk of going to Illium in the not to distant future, that would suit him just fine. It was about as lawless as Omega but with a better view.

* * *

“Joker, can you get us back to the Citadel?” Shepard asked as he came into the Mess Hall to join them for breakfast.

“Commander, I need to eat!” He stuttered, feigning that he would pass out any moment from hunger.

“Not right now, damnit. Once you’re back at the helm. I need to pick some bits up for the new priority mission that just landed on my desk.”

“That I can do.” Joker said as he shoved what constituted scrambled eggs into his mouth. “Just tell me when.”

Grunt dropped down in a seat next to her, his frame causing her to need to shuffle up as his shoulder clattered into hers.

“Grunt! Personal space is permitted here!”

“Heh heh, Shepard.” He replied, his mouth split into what would normally be described as shit-eating grin. She couldn’t help but grin back. As much trouble as Grunt was having with trying to work out his place in the universe, he was happy to joke and laugh with everyone. If only the same could be said about someone else.

“Is there a reason that you’re almost sat in my lap?” She chided the huge Krogan as his arm banged against hers and caused the beacon to fall off her fork.

“Word has it that the Biotic has banned everyone from seeing him. He has taken to hiding in his den. He smells of fear and anger.” Grunt grinned again, finding the fact that Kaidan, the self-proclaimed strongest Biotic was hiding in a tiny room under Engineering.

“How do you know this exactly?” Shepard asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“EDI told me when I went wandering around. She kept locking the doors as I tried to go downstairs. I couldn’t defeat her in battle without destroying the ship so I came to tell you instead.”

Shepard paused and watched the Krogan pick up some hunk of meat and rip it to shreds as he ate it. If EDI told Grunt to back off, then Kaidan must have instructed her to. Well, that was decided then, if he was going to be like that, she would have to drag him out of his pit. He couldn’t be a team player when it really would matter if he was refusing to be part of a team now.

Maybe the trip to the Citadel would be good for everyone. Get some R&R for a day or two before setting off again, after all. If they didn’t make it out alive from the main mission, there would be no R&R for any of them ever again.

She finished her breakfast and went to join Joker on the Bridge. He was already sat there, fingers moving with lightning speed across the controls as he got them to the Omega Relay and had them queued up for an approach. Shepard loved to watch Relay Jumps. As the blue swirled over the ship and then threw them with ease halfway across the galaxy.

She stayed in the co-pilots seat as Joker brought them into the Citadel, feeling somewhat disappointed when the Normandy was patched through to the generic Dock Control Tower rather than the Alliance one they were used to. They moved into drydock, waiting for the stabilising pads to latch on and the extendable dock to secure itself around the airlock.

Patting Joker on the shoulder she asked EDI to open comms throughout the ship, ensuring that she overrode any requests to silence the comms. The AI confirmed that comms were open and Shepard stood up to address the ship.

“We are docked in the Citadel, I am authorising two days of R&R for everyone on board,” she turned to glare at Joker, “Including you Lieutenant Moreau.” He held his hands up and silently mouthed ‘what’ at her before she turned back and continued. “We have had an interesting couple of days, and it’s not going to get any calmer before the storm. Take some time for yourselves while we can. We might be on a Suicide Mission, but we will go into it with a smile on our face and the Collector’s in our sights. Everyone to report back at this dock at 0500 hours in two days, but for now, you are all dismissed.” She manually cut the comms and thanked EDI as she walked away from the Bridge but not before telling Joker that she expected to see him in the bar at least once during the shore leave.

Walking back to the elevator she waited for it to arrive and the doors opened to Garrus and Grunt, already starting off on their two days of downtime. She stepped in and almost pushed the button for her cabin but decided to go to Engineering. Everyone was to leave the ship, if that meant she had to kick Kaidan out then so be it. If she had to drag him around with her to ensure he left, so be it.

As Shepard descended the stairs EDI informed her that Alenko had asked to not be disturbed. “I know,” She replied, sighing. “I know.”

The area seemed darker than usual; shadows lurked where there would have been light when she had last been down here. She could feel the hum of Biotics over her skin, subtle, but there and she knew that Kaidan was lurking somewhere in the shadows, hoping that she would leave if she couldn’t find him.

“I know you’re here, Alenko.” She called out softly. Trying to see if she could pinpoint movement or even his breathing if she was quiet enough. There was nothing. Shepard shook her head as she dropped down on the cot and played the waiting game.

Kaidan watched her from the shadows, wishing that she would just give up and leave him alone, then he could get off the ship and find some other transport to take him as far away as possible from Shepard and the crew. He glanced down at the bag by his feet, the meagre belongings that had been provided to him nestled in there with room to spare. Maybe he didn’t even need to take it with him at all. He could leave it here and just strike out on his own as he always had done.

He groaned to himself as she sat on his bed, making herself comfy like she was in it for the long haul. He couldn’t stand here forever and she knew it, she had trapped him down here and his only chance of escape would force him to confront her, which he was _not_ willing to do.

Gritting his teeth he stared at her as she pulled out a datapad from the large pocket on her left leg and lent back against the wall, pulling her knees up under her but keeping her boots off his blanket. Ever considerate even if they couldn’t string a sentence together without it ending up in an argument.

Shepard exhaled deeply, the sigh echoing around him, forcing him to accept that the sound was directed at him and his childish behaviour. But she still said nothing, just waited for him to sulk out of wherever he was hiding.

“What do you want?” He finally seethed, feeling pissed off that she had beaten him.

“I want you to come and enjoy some shore leave.” She said calmly, not looking up from the datapad as the light of the screen gave her an orange glow.

He stepped forward into the dim light and shouldered the bag. Shepard’s eyes widened momentarily as she looked up to see him venture out from where he had been hiding. Somewhere he had got hold of a white button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows and the top three buttons were undone, but even with his harness buckled over the top of it he looked respectable, not like a brash criminal.

“You seem to be dressed up to go somewhere?” She asked, interest in her tone and a smile playing on her lips as he shuffled awkwardly to try and get past her with as much space as possible.

She stood up before he got too far and stepped in front of him. He looked to the side as she let herself assess him. He could feel the heat rising up his neck and wished he had secured the buttons to save himself a little face.

“I don’t want to stand out any more than I have to on the Citadel.” He didn’t outright lie, if he hadn’t covered up as much as he did, he knew he would stick out a mile amongst the ‘normal’ inhabitants here.

“It looks good on you, Alenko.” She said, clapping his shoulder and letting her hand linger a bit longer than was necessary. She tried to catch his eye, but he focused on anything in the room that wasn’t _her._ Shepard stepped back and smiled, how had the powerful Biotic gone from being aggressive and sarcastic to embarrassed and shy in the space of a few missions?

“Are you going to move out of my way now?” He asked finally, dragging his eyes to hers. Annoyingly recognising the sparkle in them as she relished his predicament.

“Not yet,” She whispered, grabbing hold of the strap to his bag, intent on pulling it off his shoulder. Kaidan tried to keep her from getting hold of it, turning to the side forcing her to lean into him as she tried to get it.

He snaked his arm around her waist, holding her back as he shrugged off the bag into his outstretched hand and kept it clean out of reach. The more she squirmed, the tighter he held her until she was pressed firmly against him. What had started as her wanting to put the datapad in his bag had finished with her heart racing as she looked up into his amber coloured eyes, watching as they darkened as his pupils slightly dilated.

“What are you doing?” He whispered at her as he continued to hold her tightly, even as she stopped reaching and trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

“I don’t know.” Shepard replied, her voice husky and not as she recognised.

He could feel her Biotics humming against him and felt his head lower if on instinct, their noses bumping as she brought her face up to his. They had been in this position before, almost succumbing to some attraction that had flowed around them. Maybe this time they wouldn’t get disturbed and he would get to find out how her lips tasted rather than just imagining it.

He pulled back slightly; he shouldn’t be doing this. If he gave in to her now, he might as well paint a target on her back. A frown was beginning to form on his face when Shepard sighed beneath him and pushed herself up on her toes to bring her lips to his.

His eyes widened at the contact and he saw her flare brightly as he felt his arm try to pull her impossibly close, his hip grinding into hers and her thigh dangerously close to realising how much this was turning him on, as they stood there. His bag dropped to the floor and his now free hand snaked up her back and found its way into her hair as she desperately clung to her. She pulled back for breath, he eyes finding his, the grey now stormy as she started to smile.

“We should not be doing this.” He gruffly said against her lips as she tried to close the gap again. She dropped down from the balls of her feet and rested her head on his shoulder. Somewhere along the line she had dropped the datapad to grab fistfuls of his shirt. She dropped down to a crouch suddenly in front of him her hand reaching past his legs to rescue the piece of tech.

Kaidan swallowed at her sudden movement, feeling like his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. His mind running away with him at what he imagined she might be about to do, watching the top of her head as it was dangerously near his hips. As she bent round to grab the datapad he laughed a little and felt a sudden wave of disappointment. Holy shit, he really wanted her now, if she wanted him and they could find somewhere private where no one would know, he would throw caution to the wind.

She stood up and took the hand that had moments before been in her hair and placed the datapad in his palm. He looked down at it, he didn’t really want to be reading anything to do with Cerberus right now but apparently, this was what she had wanted to give him all along, not the sexual tension he ended up developing. She stepped away from him, smoothing down her BDU’s to try and cover up what had happened as the heat in her cheeks gave her away.

“Fuck, I am really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” She started to apologise, feeling guilty about what he had said to her in the Mess Hall.

“Don’t be. I’m getting tired of pretending that I don’t find you attractive. Maybe I just needed to get it out of my system.”

“And what about what I want?”

“You don’t want someone like me, that’s for sure.” He laughed at himself, he wanted her to want him oh so much and here he was trying to put her off him. He picked up his bag and tucked his shirt into his belt again, trying to get some composure back before he made the move to walk away from all of this madness completely.

“You know when I told you about dying not slowing me down,” Shepard said suddenly, he looked to her, remembering the conversation in his mind. “Well, I’ve added what happened to me, about dying once already, to the end of the information you requested from Cerberus. It’s all on here.” She tapped the pad still in his hand and gave him a half smile as she stepped back from him towards the stairs.

“Where are you going?” He felt his voice almost crack at the thought of her just leaving him down here on his own, the thought surprised and scared him in equal measures.

“I’m going to the Citadel, take in the sights, maybe have a few rounds at the Armax Arena, blow off some steam… you know, the usual marine mischief that goes on during Shore Leave.”

“Alright, lets put it a different way, where can I find you?” He cocked his head to one side, not sure if she was being deliberately difficult just to tease him.

“If you hurry the fuck up, you can follow me.” She smiled before turning back to the stairs and gracefully bounding up them two at a time. Kaidan hesitated until he heard the door swish open and ran to keep up.

* * *

Whatever dock they had been given; the sight was still spectacular. It was almost night-time in the artificial day/night cycle. The rest of the crew had dispersed, nowhere to be seen as mechanics set to work on the Normandy and made sure she was up to scratch for whatever else the crew threw at her.

Kaidan had been a bundle of nerves as he had passed through C-Sec with her, waiting for a group of officers to suddenly appear and pin him down to arrest him. Humiliating him in front of the one person he had been determined to be the best for.

His eyebrows raised as the Officer Shepard was conversing with changed her data file from MIA to alive, and he had to hold himself from exploding with astonishment as he heard that her _Spectre_ status had been reinstated.

Once through the door he pushed her over to one side. “When were you going to tell me you were a fucking Spectre?” He was thrumming with excitement, horror, curiosity and any other emotion that decided to churn through his chest.

“Oh,” Shepard covered her mouth to laugh as Kaidan turned his head slightly to one side, silently demanding an answer before his heart gave out. This was a huge deal and he had been in cryo long enough to have completely missed the whole shitshow that was the last couple of years.

“Oh? Is that it _Spectre Shepard_?” He paused as the sound of a news article wafted over to them, “Is that… you’re a fucking hero?”

Shepard felt colour creeping up to her temples as he looked at her open mouthed. She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, she hated all this attention to her past endeavours, people holding her up on some sort of pedestal. Kaidan took a stap back and bent over slightly, gathering his thoughts and his breath. Shepard laughed again, nervously; this was not the reaction she was expecting.

“Usually criminals don’t react like this when I catch up with them.” She whispered at him, pulling him to stand up again. He pursed his lips and looked at her through narrowed eyes, shaking his head slightly.

“Very funny.”

Shepard grinned at him as he rolled his eyes. He tugged the bag strap higher on his shoulder. Suddenly realising that she didn’t have a bag with her at all.

“Where’s your kit? Or are you planning to sleep in your BDU’s for two hold days?”

“I was planning to go to my apartment, get showered and changed and then heading out to the Arena, of which you are more than welcome to join me, if you want to of course.” Shepard started to wander over to grab a rapid transport ride, punching in her destination. Kaidan spotted that the number of passengers was set to two, regardless if he had actually confirmed that he would be coming along.

Once in the apartment, Kaidan dropped his bag by the sofa and studied the trinkets and knick-knacks that littered worktops and shelves as Shepard headed to her bedroom to take her shower. There were photos of a group of fresh faced man and women in Alliance uniforms that he presumed were from the original Normandy, that Shepard, Joker and Garrus would often talk about.

There was another picture, taken in a club somewhere. Garrus appeared to be in this one, with an Asari and a Quarian. Shepard certainly didn’t have a prejudice against aliens, that was for sure. She clearly saw them for who they were, not what they were. A small voice in his head hoped that the same could be said for him.

A holo clipping of a extranet news article was in a frame and he picked it up to read it. He didn’t realise that Shepard had re-entered the small living area until her fingers closed around the frame and she placed it back on the shelf. He turned to her, her hair wrapped up in a towel but she was dressed in pale blue jeans and a light navy shirt that seemed so casual but still clung to her.

“You don’t want to be reading that.” Shepard laughed lightly as she pulled him away from the shelf and towards the little kitchen area, scrubbing her hair under the towel before discarding it over the back of a chair.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you’re also known as the ‘Butcher of Torfan’. _The_ Butcher. How the fuck have we not crossed paths before?” He leant against the worktop, grinning at her as she rolled her eyes. Shepard pulled out a beer from the fridge and placed it in front of him before collecting one for herself and making her way back over to the sofa and opening up her omni-tool.

“Because I was elbow deep in Alliance missions while you were out there terrorising the Traverse.”

“Maybe, but I’m curious. You keep expecting me to put on a show every time you drag me into ground missions. How come you don’t let loose with the ruthlessness that you’re clearly capable of?”

“Because I died, Kaidan. And because I sent almost my whole unit to their deaths on Torfan and didn’t bat an eyelid, dying myself put that shit into perspective.” Shepard took a large pull on her beer, looking at Kaidan over the bottle to see how he processed that little nugget of information.

He walked over to his bag and pulled out the datapad before settling back on the sofa. He glanced up at her quickly and then settled his eyes back down. Flicking his finger along the screen until he got to the section he wanted. ‘Project Lazarus’.

She watched him as he read, seeing the different expressions and emotions as they swept across his face. Occasionally he looked up questioningly, seeking confirmation that what he was reading was true but just found her grinning at him lightly. She knew that it was a lot to believe, even she wasn’t sure it was true when she had found out. But here she was, alive, again, and ready to take on another threat to the galaxy.

He finished reading and dropped the datapad onto his lap, shaking his head slightly. “I can see why they needed you back, Commander Spectre Butcher Ma’am.” He smirked at his own joke, a genuine laugh erupting when he saw that Shepard was smiling.

“Someone has to get the dirty work done, and who better than someone who can rally the troops but won’t think twice about sacrificing them all to get the job done. Sound familiar, Alenko?”

He swallowed dryly. “Yeah, it sounds exactly like the mission that we’re all signing up for.”

“Now do you understand why I try and help people where I can? I’ve been given a second chance; I don’t want my second life to be remembered by the number of corpses I leave in my wake.”

His fingers went gingerly up to the Amp, touching it lightly to make sure that it was still a real thing. She smiled at him again, it was disarming, and he felt pinned to the sofa and caught in her gaze. “You saved the Council, apparently. I think that’s the thing most people are remembering.” He couldn’t help the sarcastic tone of his words from coming out, people being nice to him was an alien concept and he always expected that it was due to wanting something in return.

She got up and went back to the kitchen, depositing the bottle on the worktop and pulled on some battered looking boots. She ran her omni-tool over the locking mechanism and checked over her shoulder to see if Kaidan received a message. He turned around slightly to look at her as he realised the message was from Shepard

“I’ve just added you to the permitted entry list. I’m going to Armax to blow off some steam, you’re welcome to stay. Or if you want to go out somewhere yourself then you can come and go as you please.” She put a card in her back pocket before opening the door.

“Thanks.” Kaidan replied as she slipped out and the door softly closed behind her.

* * *

Shepard descended the stairs to the control panel to sort out the type of fight she wanted, if she wanted any handicaps or if she wanted to use a licence to have a companion join her in the battle. She selected a fairly safe loadout for her first fight before heading to the changing room to pull on her armor and get her guns sorted before getting into the lift that would bring her out into the arena.

The arena appeared around her and she noticed the crowds gathering around the railings at the top to watch. The VI announced her name and the enemy selected before the countdown and enemy spawn warning appeared. She ran to a lower level and took up position behind cover at the far end of the room, leaving her enough space to throw around some Biotics before anything got too close. Her chosen Geth enemy spawned and immediately started to fan out to flank her. An infiltrator cloaked almost immediately as it descended the ramp, that was the main one to look out for as she threw a Singularity towards the unarmored machine, hitting it with a follow up Warp to detonate the Biotics.

The Infiltrator’s cloak shimmered slightly as she raised her pistol and took a shot at it, causing the cloak to drop. She sent a Pull out to it and waited, scooting around to another bit of cover as she timed her next attack to detonate the Geth over another one. While the AI staggered backwards she dashed to the side and dropped down the ledge, running along it's length and sending out a Shockwave to clear a path.

She managed to get the high ground as she pulled the sniper from her back and took aim through the scope. It had been some time since she had needed to use a sniper and it wasn’t until this year that she had been given any real form of training to use one. She smirked as she manged to get a headshot, thinking Garrus would be so proud. She dipped the scope to find her next target when she took a bullet to the side. Her barrier dropping as she scrambled away, the huge gun in her hands now a hindrance as she tried to press herself against the ramp to hide from the Geth that had managed to sneak up on her. Another two Geth were coming back around to her position after her unfortunate dash had left her out in the open to the lower floor.

She threw a Shockwave towards the one at the top that was trying to flank her, hoping that it was knocked back enough that she could hit it again if needed as she made her way back into cover. She scooted along the rail awkwardly, trying not to reveal her head, the Geth that had shot at her had already recovered causing her to back up slightly. She felt her Barrier weaken as a shit came up the ramp from the rapidly advancing Geth below. She dumped her sniper on the floor to get her pistol before running around the top of the ramp and settling herself into a corner where the only exit was a ladder down.

She threw out another Singularity, hoping to catch one of them at best or at least make them walk further around to be able to get to her at worst. Two came past at the same time, bullets flying in her direction as her Barrier went down and left her with just her flimsy shields before she was in serious trouble. When the third one appeared, she jumped down from the platform and sprinted across the arena. It was talking longer to kill these two than the first three, and they were harder enemies.

Shepard went to pull her sniper again and yelled out a colourful range of curse words as she remembered leaving it on the fucking ramp. The Geth were already trained on her direction, bullets slamming into the metalwork as they worked to keep her from being able to retaliate with any shot of her own. She sent out another Shockwave, the only think she could do from in cover, as soon as her Amp stopped buzzing she sent out another and another until there was a tell-tale whine of electronics as one of the Geth hit the floor.

Popping her head out of cover she saw that she had managed to keep them back at least but they were splitting to flank her again. Shepard dashed to the next cover, throwing out a Reave to the nearest one, the electronic buzzing and whine as it battled against the Biotic attack carrying sharply through the air. Raising her pistol, she sunk four bullets into its metal casing as it finally crashed to the floor. Popping out the thermal clip, she quickly pushed in another one and reloaded as the last Geth rounded on her, inches from her face.

Throwing herself out from cover, she sprinted away, feeling bullets melt through her Barrier. Throwing herself on the ground, sliding along on her back and under the sights of the assault rifle that was barking bullets in her direction she raised her pistol and sunk all six of her available rounds into it, It wasn’t enough and as the Geth lowered its rifle at her she threw out one final Reave, watching and breathing heavily as it dropped to the floor.

Staring upwards, she saw the holographic confetti that signalled match over, seeing her name spinning around on the display. Her score wasn’t great, but she had made it though. She pulled herself up the ramp and scooped up her sniper, clicking the button to fold it up before clipping it onto her back as she stepped onto the lift to take her back down to the changing area.

Stepping into the women’s changing room she was greeted by the sight of Kaidan leaning up against a cubical.

“Nice show.” He smirked, looking at her slightly grubby armor.

“You saw that?” Shepard grimaced, he had not seen her at her best if he had.

“Of course I did, you dropped the name of this place so much it seemed like a hint.” Kaidan folded his arms and raised an eyebrow, challenging her to deny that she had wanted him to turn up. “How about we go again.” he carried on after Shepard remained silent. “We can up the stakes and you can see how much I can really do.”

“I’m not upping the stakes, but I need to practice with my Amp, it’s been a while and the drop in power is really knocking my spike.”

“Then swap back,” Kaidan started to reach back for the Savant she had given him but she pulled he arm back down to his side.

“I don’t want it back, I have to learn to cope with what I have. As you said to me, I’m not a charity case.”

Kaidan stared at her as she drifted over to the armor locker, watching as she flicked through the options. He noticed a small smile creep over her face and a tingle of her Biotics before she turned back to him.

“You know what would be interesting,” She was trying to keep a straight face as she spoke to him. “If you actually suited up, see what _you_ can do with a power boost.”

“I don’t need a boost, remember? Cerberus made sure of that.”

“How about you do it for me? Think of it as a thank you for that shiny new Amp you have.” Shepard deliberately fluttered her eyelashes at him and smiled sweetly before catching her bottom lip in her teeth. Kaidan rolled his eyes trying to shut out the tightening coil that was settling in his stomach and threatening to go lower. She would be the death of him, he was sure of it.

“Fine. Suit me up, pick out whatever you think is going to boost me beyond your wildest dreams.”

Shepard turned back to the orange interface and listed out the items he should select once he was in the men’s changing room. The Biotic lazily peeled himself away from the wall and turned to go sort out the armor she was insisting he wore, unbuckling his harness and pulling his shirt over his head before he had even got out of the door.

Shepard waited around by the lift, the set up was the same as before but she had given herself a target of all enemies cleared in five minutes. It shouldn’t be too hard, especially if Kaidan was going to be suited up. The door to the men’s changing room opened a crack and she tried to hold back the grin that was desperate to break free.

“You better not fucking laugh.” Came the gruff voice from behind the door. She could see his gloved fingers holding the free edge and the toe of his boot in the gap at the floor.

“I promise.” She called back, not sure if she could keep it but the anticipation of what he would have looked like as a marine was sure to make her do something other than laugh.

She heard him sigh as the door was pulled open and Kaidan stepped out. He was wearing armor similar to hers, Alliance blue with thin white stripes down his chest. The plates making his form even more defined than it was already and she felt like he would dwarf her on the battlefield. If she thought he looked good before, well, today must have been Christmas.

He held the visor in his hand, fidgeting with it as he was reluctant to put it on. Shepard took it from him and clipped it around his ear, her thumb pressing the activation button and she saw the information of the HUD flash past in front of his left eye as it loaded in all the programs.

“What am I supposed to be looking at in here?” He asked quietly, his eyes flicking to the screen and then back to her.

“This will give you your cooldown time, Amp temp, Shield and Barrier information and also if you want it can tell you about your squad mates, you know, so they don’t die on you before you realise.” Shepard moved the visor about on his head, making sure it was in the right position before syncing their suits to keep tabs on each other. She could see him start to blush, a soft pink glow creeping out of the collar of the under armor and blooming up his neck. “Relax,” She whispered, “you’ll forget you’re even wearing it once we are out there.”

“The last time I wore something like this I was,” He stopped, looking down as his gloved hands as he turned them palm up.

“In the Alliance?”

“Yeah. A long time ago though.”

“What rank were you?”

Kaidan huffed, no one had ever asked him what rank he was. Most just assumed that he was a Private considering he had managed to get himself CAT 6’ed. “I was a Staff-Lieutenant. Hard to believe, right,” He shook his head, he did not want to be dragging these memories out from their burial place.

“Well, Staff-Lieutenant Alenko. I think it’s time we shot some Geth.” Shepard stepped backwards onto the lift and waited for him to follow her. He smiled a little at the use of his former rank, it sounded good coming from her, like a compliment rather than a reminder of how he had manged to fuck everything up with his shitty decisions.

He realised that she had plugged his rank into the computer that was going to keep track of their kill streaks. Watching their names loop around as the arena was set up and hearing the people above shout and cheer for the start to begin. He looked to his left and saw Shepard pull out her pistol, rolling her shoulders and getting settled in for the start. Pulling out his shotgun he rocked on the balls of his feet, getting used to the confines of armor again and felt nerves start to climb up into his throat.

Glancing left again; he caught her grinning at him but found warmth with it. She was genuinely happy that he was there. If only he could punch down the worry that every second he was in public with her he was putting her at risk.

The orange spawn points lit up and he felt Shepard run along the platform before skidding to a halt by a ramp. Kaidan pounded after her, not sure if he should be taking up his own spot or following her.

“What’s the plan?” He shouted over the drone of the audience above.

“I want you to take out the shit load of Geth that are going to funnel up towards us on this ramp.”

He went to move to the other side but she pulled him back into his crouching position with a hand on his hip. Kaidan looked at her, momentarily confused but then he caught the idea that was sparkling in her eyes.

“Oh, we’re doing that thing again?” He cocked a smile at her.

“That thing, exactly.” She shuffled past him as the soft whine of electronics came closer, the nearest Geth were at the bottom of the ramp already. She created a Barrier over them both and pushed him upright.

Kaidan felt the rush of her Biotics into him. His suit amplified the energy as he pushed out a Throw, the usual wall of blue turning white as the power ramped up as it left his hands. The four Geth that were on the ramp were thrown backwards against the metal cover on the lower level. Metal against metal as the scrapes and clawing screeched in the air. Kaidan glanced up and saw that his kill streak was at two from the first attack he had made.

He felt Shepard reach around him and send out a Warp towards one that was almost down but not quite. His HUD letting him know that her attack was draining the Geth before it’s designation was deleted from the scrolling battle text.

“Next three,” She said against his ear. “I want you to glow white, not just whatever you throw.”

He shrugged a shoulder, trying to get into a zone where he knew that he would spike. He thought back to what had been done to him by Cerberus, focusing on the things that had caused him enough anguish to allow his Biotics to boil over. But it didn’t seem enough, the memories were old, the scars healed.

He could see the Geth were advancing and the bullets being fired were getting more accurate with every step they took. Looking sideways, he could she Shepard gritting her teeth to try and give him all the power she could while maintaining a Barrier over them both. I he didn’t find something to get fired up over, they would both go down.

Her hands squeezed his hips, he wasn’t sure if it was intentional or just from the exertion she was displaying. She almost looked like this was riding into painful territory, and that’s when he felt it. The anger at her being in pain while he tried to figure his shit out caused his Biotics to spike. He flared white and Shepard opened one eye as the brightness blinded her even from behind closed eyes.

Lifting his arms out to the side the white energy flowed towards his palms as he summoned a Shockwave. Wave after wave crashing into each other, the sound of each detonation as they crashed together was deafening. The Geth in the path of it were torn to shreds. Their mangled remains flickering out where they had fallen, not even enough time for them to make a sound before they had been destroyed by the onslaught.

The holo confetti rained down over them accompanied by cheers from the balcony above. Kaidan slumped against the railing in front of him, having the Amp had taken him by surprise but the suit adding to it made it a whole different sensation. He wasn’t drained but the ever-present tingling of his Biotics had caused adrenaline to surge. The drop off left him feeling a little lightheaded.

Shepard kept one hand on him as she gently pulled him back to the lift. Now was not the time to suddenly wrench away her own power so she slowly relaxed how much she was sharing with him until they were back in the waiting area and the contact was now just touch.

“Holy shit, Shepard, I should keep you around.”

“I thought you liked being on your own?” She teased; he was actually nice to be around when he wasn’t in one of his moods. He could still be a bastard but the viciousness wasn’t with it.

“Ah, you’re right, maybe I should just get the armor instead.” He raised an eyebrow at her, pretending to contemplate it seriously.

“You know. There is someone I want you to meet. Here on the Citadel.” The playfulness was gone and Shepard studied Kaidan hard.

“Who?” He asked slowly in reply. Eyes narrowing at the sudden change of attitude.

“Councillor Anderson. I want to talk to him about you.”

“Why the fuck would you want to do that?” He backed up, falling out of her hold on him and his defences immediately went up.

“Because you’re one hell of a soldier, and _not_ that brat that they had you down for. And an Alliance uniform suits you.” Shepard smirked at him, trying to lighten the mood. Kaidan wasn’t having any of it, almost disgusted at what she was insinuating.

“No fucking way.” He shook his head and laughed at nothing in particular, but the sound was sarcastic rather than joyful.

“Why not? What’s to lose in just finding out?”

“I have a deal with you and that’s it. Not Cerberus and certainly not the Alliance. You get me out of prison, I help you on your little suicide mission, then I’m out of here.” He folded his arms, the armour plates clinking against one another.

Shepard baulked slightly at what he was saying. Once the mission was over, that was it, he planned to leave regardless. It didn’t seem to matter about all the fun and the connection that she thought they had; his past made him back up twenty paces even if he had come forward ten. “We might not even survive this; don’t you even want to know if you could be reinstated?”

He pulled off his gauntlets and chestplate furiously, letting them fall around his feet like litter, unzipping the under armour before pulling it to one side and pointing to the tattoo that had first caught her attention under his collarbone. “See this? The Alliance already told me I wasn’t good enough for them.” His mouth turned down as if he had just tasted something truly horrific. He looked angry and disgusted in equal measures, Shepard decided not to push the subject.

“Alright, Kaidan. It was just a suggestion.”

“Nah, it wasn’t,” He all but threw the leg plates at her, allowing them to clatter to the floor by her feet. “It was you hoping to find some way to crawl back to the Alliance, but in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m done being used.”

He turned and pushed open the door to the changing room hard, letting it slam against the wall. Once he was inside and out of sight he silently screamed, letting himself flare brightly to release the pent-up anger that ran through him. He was a CAT-fucking-6, and for good reason. He quelled that thought down, thinking instead of how she hadn’t even thought about what had happened to him before coming up with this stupid idea.

A brief flicker of realisation passed through him, he hadn’t _actually_ told her what had happened, but she was military, she would have to be bloody stupid to not understand that a CAT-6 meant that he was fucked up. Fucked up enough that even with his Biotic ability the Alliance had seen fit to let him go. She was either stupid or _selfish_ , and from witnessing her intelligence on missions, selfish was the one he was going for. He was the stupid one for thinking that he needed to protect her, thinking that she could get hurt because of him. She just wanted to use him.

* * *

“Garrus, can you meet me at Dark Star in about 10 minutes?” Shepard let her annoyance filter though, closing her eyes at the end of the sentence, immediately regretting that it sounded like she was annoyed at him.

“Of course, Shepard. I’ll see you there.”

His two-tone voice didn’t let on that he had registered that something was up, and she knew that he would rather ask her to her face than over a call.

She had changed and left the Armax before she made the call. Kaidan had all but disappeared and she had the dubious pleasure of being both disappointed and relived at the fact.

Pushing her way through the crowd at the top of the stairs she made her way to the exit, squeezing past people to get to the skycar to take her over to Zakera Ward. Watching the bright lights disappear behind her as the car zipped along smoothly, Shepard let her mind wander back to the argument.

He had told her his previous rank but had never told her what happened to have him CAT-6’ed considering he must have done something right to get the promotions that he clearly had. But he had also never told her what had gone so disastrously wrong that he was thrown out, whatever it was, it had left him feeling used and bitter.

The skycar touched down and Shepard got out, she knew that most of the crew would probably be drinking in the bar but she was going there to wallow, not celebrate, and she was about to drag her best friend down with her.

The music could be heard from outside the lobby area and the further she got to the main doors the more she could _feel_ the music. Some electronic beat that was perfect to dance to and wordless to not disrupt conversations or confuse language barriers. The bar itself was dimly lit, creating a cosy atmosphere in the large space. Dark corners were inhabited by people wanting to not be seen, either sharing secrets or to try and hide wandering hands. Shepard pushed through the crowd to get to the bar, motioning to the Turian bartender than she was requiring his attention.

She felt eyes on her as there was movement to her right, the familiar outline of a hardsuit came into her peripheral vision. Despite herself, she smiled as the figure propped themselves up against the bar and silently waited.

“You don’t have to say it Garrus, I know what you’re thinking.”

“And what exactly might that be, Shepard?” She saw his mandibles flare in the form of a Turian grin.

“I’m pretty sure it starts with ‘I told you so’.” She knocked back the alarmingly green drink that the bartender had placed in front of her. Raising her eyebrows and closing her eyes as the afterburn of whatever the hell that was scorched down her throat.

“Not at all. I’m just wondering what pissed you off so much that _I_ felt like I had done something wrong when you called me.” His bright blue eyes pinned her down for an answer, even as she tried to avoid his gaze.

“Fuck, Garrus. How much has Scuttlebutt been talking?”

“Not as much as I’d like. But enough that I have my suspicions.”

Shepard folded her arms on the bad and dropped her head down and groaned inwardly. She did not want to be the topic of conversation, especially if it was concerning a certain Biotic that they had picked up.

“Don’t worry, Shepard. This isn’t the old Normandy. The crew we have now are too under the Illusive Mans thumb to even think of pissing you off. It’s just been Joker and I that have had some chats. Whatever you think is being talked about by the crew probably isn’t.” Garrus patted her on the back and laughed. He had a way of mocking her and also picking her up along with it. A true friend, and dare she say a big brother that she never had and one of only two people on the ship that she truly trusted.

“Where is Joker?” She asked, looking around for any sign of the crew that she could make out in the dim lights.

“He’s gone to the Cerberus financed apartments, something about not liking that his ship is sat in dock and he’s been forced to leave,” He grinned again as Shepard started to scowl at him. “That’s the gist of it anyway, maybe more words.”

“And Miranda, Jacob, Solus?”

“They have all gone to the apartments too. The only ones left out are you, me, Grunt and the less senior crew members.”

“And Kaidan…” Shepard whispered, looking at the bottles behind the bar.

“It didn’t seem like you wanted him mentioned. What _is_ going on there, Shepard?” Garrus ordered another drink and turned to face the bar with Shepard. Both of them staring at nothing in particular while she gathered her thoughts.

“He’s come a long way on the battlefield, from how he was when we first went groundside to the last mission. Hell, we had a round at Armax earlier and, shit… he’s _good._ ” Shepard was nodding to herself as she recalled his performance.

“And yet, he’s not here.” Garrus quipped. Homing in on where the issue must lie.

“I suggested going to see Anderson,” Shepard downed the second drink. Shaking her head lightly as the burn, it wasn’t getting more bearable the more she had, that was for sure.

“And the ex-Alliance wasn’t keen on the idea?”

“How did you guess?” Shepard said sarcastically and turned to him, studying his profile. Garrus turned his head to face her, rolling the liquid of his drink around in the glass. He leaned in slightly to whisper to her, mandibles tickling along her jaw as he spoke into her ear.

“I don’t know if I should be telling you this, but he told us that he got a lot of people killed and the Alliance blamed him solely for that. Where other marines got N-School recommendations for their ability to make the ultimate sacrifice to get the job done, he got CAT-6’ed.”

“Did he tell you what he did?”

“Let’s just say he was the sole survivor of a Thresher Maw attack on Akuze.” Garrus nodded at her and waited for the realisation to set in, he picked up his drink, keeping an eye on her expression as he sipped it.

“But Corporal Toombs?” She said finally, frowning as she tried to remember exactly what the marine had told them when she stopped him killing scientists involved with the Maw attack.

“Toombs.” Garrus acknowledged. Nodding once, confirming that she was on the right track.

“He said that they wandered into a trap, he never said that there was another survivor. If Kaidan was there, how did he get out? And why did he leave Toombs behind?” Shepard felt an uneasy lump settling in her chest, not sure she wanted to hear about the man that Kaidan was, or potentially could be again. Especially when this mission needed him to ensure that it succeeded.

“He said that he could tell something wasn’t right, he could ‘sense’ Cerberus at the settlement and instead of warning the marines he was with, he slipped away and left them, his instinct to run getting the better of him. The rest you know. Didn’t matter that he made it out, didn’t matter that he would have been dead if he had stayed. He chose to be honest in his report and at the trial he got angry, ‘they wouldn’t listen to him’ he said. Refused to believe that Cerberus was behind it and instead told him that he had shown cowardice. He disagreed, expressing it is his own special way, and they deemed him unstable and a liability, disgrace to the uniform, you know how it is and then the CAT-6 was all that was left of his career.” Garrus shrugged, draining his own drink and pushed away from the bar. Rocking his head on his shoulders and loosening the neck of his under armor.

“So, they picked up a man who had been traumatised, sent him into battle and then blamed him when he panicked.” She grimaced, it didn’t sound like the Alliance she knew but then she had the luxury of Anderson backing her at the start of her career and her reputation to hold her up. She couldn’t begin to imagine how Kaidan had dealt with the shit he had been though and still managed to hold it together until he made Staff-Lieutenant before his luck ran out.

“Are you concerned that we may have done exactly the same thing? I understand that he is good, better than good with his Biotics, but you can’t switch trauma off like that. What happens if he baulks at the final step?”

“He hasn’t actually told me about his time in the Alliance. You got that privilege. So on that technicality, I guess I just have to take him at face value.”

“I trust your decision, Shepard, you know that.” Garrus nodded at her, hands clasped behind his back as he assumed a relaxed attention.

“Thanks, Garrus. It means a lot.”

* * *

Shepard arrived back at her apartment and hesitated at the door. She had given him access, would he be there when she walked in or would he have run after their argument earlier? She felt stupid to be hesitant over going into her own personal space, if anything she could kick him out if he was there and then revoke his access permission. What Garrus had told her made her soften a little bit, it was obvious that he had several layers of defensive walls and neuroses that troubled him. Didn’t everyone though? Hell she had woken up on more nights than she cared to remember from nightmares where the faces of those she had sent to their deaths had stared down at her with disappointment and disgust.

The Alliance had retaliated, and she had led the ground charge, cutting down anyone that wasn’t in the uniform, even those who had surrendered. She pushed the marines who looked to her for orders forward until most of them had been gunned down, she hadn’t been tactical, she had been bloodthirsty. Even her own CO had found it too much, yet she had been given a career boost and Major Kyle had been given a honourable discharge. It hardly seemed fair when she compared it to the man that might be on the other side of the door.

Looking to the ceiling to gather herself, she pushed the door open. The lights were off apart from one lamp on the table next to the sofa. As she closed the door she moved slowly into the room, finding herself looking down at the sleeping form of Kaidan.

He had tucked himself up on the small sofa, boots sloppily dropped next to him and his shirt used as a blanket. Even in sleep, his eyebrows furrowed slightly and his shoulders twitched. If she were a gambler, she would bet that he was in the throws of a bad dream. She wanted to make him comfortable, try and coax him into more restful sleep.

Moving quietly to a cupboard she pulled out a blanket, standard Alliance issue but comfy enough when the fibres had been softened through repeated washing. Shaking it out, Shepard stepped back to the sofa, laying it over him as she crouched down to finally tuck it gently under his chin. He curled into it, a tiny content sigh escaping his lips, the dream apparently subsiding.

Her hand reached out and pushed the rumpled hair out of his face as gently as she could, unable to resist the urge. Kaidan turned his head slightly, almost moving to nuzzle into her palm before his eyes sprung open, the amber depths hazed with sleep. He moved to get up, shaking his head as he tried to get his mind to register where he was and what was happening.

“Abi,” He murmured, voice cracking and swallowing dryly.

She smiled at him, the argument forgotten for now as he used her first name instead of the usual Shepard, or Commander or _Ma’am_. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” She whispered to him, trying to get him to lay back down gently.

He sank back into the sofa, head propped at an awkward angle on the arm of the chair, he blinked again and then started to get up more forcefully, the blanket and his shirt rumpled around his waist as she dropped his feet to the floor.

“I shouldn’t be here,” He started to explain, still a little fuzzy from sleep and unsure of how to finish the sentence.

“You don’t have to go. I just wanted you to be comfortable.”

“I- your sofa,”

“Isn’t the best, I know.” She smiled at him gently as he sat there, head dropped forward arms braced on the seat as he tried to get himself together and wake up. She didn’t know how long he had been asleep for, but it was enough to get him out of sorts upon being inadvertently awakened by her.

He laughed a little, turning his head away from the lamp slightly. She could see he was squinting.

“Are you ok?”

“I think I’m getting a migraine. Nothing I can’t deal with” He replied with barely a whisper. He swallowed hard, and grimaced.

Shepard pulled the blanket off him and hung his shirt over a stool by the breakfast bar. Holding her hand out to him she jerked her head at him, signalling that she wanted him to stand up for her. He slowly got up, taking her hand after he had decided that he was going to be steady on his feet.

She led him through to her bedroom, keeping the main lights off and navigating him around the bed via the lamp from the living area. Pulling back the sheets she shuffled him back until his knees hit the mattress and he dropped down voluntarily.

“You know,” He said quietly, voice slightly slurred from sleep. “I should be the one doing this to you.”

Shepard could feel the heat flush her cheeks at his comment. A sly smile crept across her face and she bit back her own innuendo, instead focusing on the fact that he was going to be in a lot of pain in a moment.

“Not when you have a migraine, Kaidan.” She pushed him back into the pillows and pulled the sheets up over him. He laid his forearm over his eyes and exhaled deeply. “look, I’ll be back in a bit. She cupped his jaw in her hand before dropping it and moving away and getting back to the kitchen. She found a glass and filled it with water, turning off the lamp she set the habitat system temperature to cool and selected the windows to darken.

Moving back into the bedroom by knowledge of the layout alone, she placed the water down on the bedside table next to him and walked around to the other side of the bed. She hesitated, she was about to share her bed with not just a man, but with Kaidan Alenko, the same one she had kissed and then fought with in a matter of hours.

She shrugged out of her clothes as quietly as she could and pulled on her shorts and tank top before pulling the sheets back and sliding into the bad, conscious to try and ensure that she stayed on her side of the bed. Her breath caught in her throat as Kaidan rolled over in his sleep and faced her. She could feel his breath on her cheek and neck as she lay still, eyes open and staring at the ceiling.


	5. Time for Pleasantries

Morning came and Shepard made the move to stretch lazily as she tried to roll over into the middle of the bed. The tiny amount of light that came through the darkened windows was enough to remind her that she wasn’t here alone and her movements had stirred the person next to her enough that an arm came out and wrapped around her waist, pulling her to them.

She thought about resisting, she should not be actively snuggling up with him. He was here because she couldn’t have slept if she had deliberately left him on the sofa with a migraine. She had done something to help him, that was it. But, maybe she could just indulge this and then pretend that they had both woken up like this. She curved herself into his chest and felt him sigh as he nuzzled into her hair, closing her eyes again she smiled to herself, this was a side of Kaidan that she never expected to see.

“Morning, Abi.” He huskily whispered into her hair as his arm squeezed her closer to him.

“Kaidan.” Shepard replied, a little more severely than she intended. He laughed, a flirtatious noise as he situated himself along her back to ensure that she could feel _all_ of him. “We should not be doing this, that’s for sure.”

“I thought you wanted this yesterday?”

“I thought we agreed that it shouldn’t have happened?” Shepard shuffled around as best she could to try and make some space between them before slipping out from under his arm.

“That was back when you were Commander Spectre Butcher Ma’am, we’re not on the ship anymore.” He levelled a wolfish grin at her, waiting for her to roll her eyes at his comment, letting him know that she wasn’t being so serious.

“Yeah, and you also shouted at me and threw armor at me yesterday. So, no, I don’t think it should happen off the ship either.”

His face fell, the grin gone and a frown beginning to tug at his features. Kaidan flopped back into the pillows and laced his fingers together over his chest. Shepard shifted about at the side of the bed before grabbing up some fresh clothes and making her way onto the bathroom.

The room was in daylight when she emerged. Hair damp and her clothes sticking to her ever so slightly as she made her way into the bedroom again. The side of the bed Kaidan had slept in was empty. She sighed, it wasn’t that she hadn’t expected him to just up and leave when things got ‘personally stressful’ but she had hoped that he might have just tried for once to try and work through it. As much as it would have been a very marine thing to just add a notch to both of their bed posts, she had to work with him for the foreseeable future, possibly even watch him die if it all went wrong. When he had told her that he was done being used, it didn’t mean that she would quite happily let it happen to her for his own amusement.

Checking the log from the door she could tell that he had left not long after she had gone to the bathroom. He had waited until she was out of sight and then bolted. _Great._ Pulling out the drawer in the coffee pot she added some grounds and pushed it closed, flipping the on button and waited for the pot to fill. Pulling up the news vids she heard the talk about her apparent return and the less kind words of her ‘favourite’ journalist. al-Jilani seemed to be gritting her teeth as she reported that it seemed to be the ‘illusive’ Commander Shepard seemed to be turning her back on Humanity and instead focusing on teaming up with alien mercenaries rather than helping the colonies that had vanished. The woman had an air about her that told her views that she knew what was best for them, regardless what the Alliance of Council were doing, she had her opinions and paraded them around in front of the camera as though they were the only ones that mattered. Shepard hated her, it had taken her years of training to not just punch the woman the last time she was ‘interviewed’ by her, turning her answers into statements they were not and portraying Shepard as a failure to Humanity for having aliens on _her_ ship.

She flicked the vid off, not wanting to hear anymore bullshit come out of that bitches mouth. This was not how Shepard had anticipated starting her day. Kaidan sneaking off as soon as he could and then listening to her name being dragged through the mud when she couldn’t even defend herself. Fucking great.

Her omni-tool pinged and a small orange glow emitted from her wrist. Turning to look at it as she poured coffee into her cup she noticed that it was a message from Miranda. Playing the message, Mirandas voice came out crisply and if Shepard didn’t know better, it was curt.

“ _Grunt is being held by C-Sec, he has been causing trouble in the Wards. I have asked about moving him back to the Normandy but C-Sec and particularly a Captain Bailey have insisted that they cannot comply. Can you please attend the main centre in the Presidium at your earliest convenience? Lawson out.”_

Fucking great.

* * *

Shepard was now back at the Armax but this time decided to enjoy the viewing platform as the match started up again for the fifth time. This was not how she had planned to spend the day either, but if it kept him out of trouble then she would stay here all day. Grunt, for his part was having the time of his life. He got to put that need to hit things to good use, taking down all sorts of enemies, but the Rachni, they seemed to be his favourite. Garrus found his way over to her, apparently the draw of battle being to strong for him too. He had a glass of something that was violently yellow in his hand and clapped her on the back as she waved down at Grunt. She nudged him with her shoulder and watched as he grinned in a way that only Turians could.

“You know I got really excited when I got here and saw the staff.” He smirked at her before giving her a wink and nodding his head back towards one of the kiosks. Shepard leaned back to look past him and realised what he was getting at

“Oh-,” She winced, trying not to laugh. “Yeah, I didn’t realise when I first spoke to one of them.”

“Shepard, I flirted with one of them. Wasn’t until I asked what she was doing later that I realised ‘software updates’ wasn’t code for anything.” He put the straw in his mouth and sipped hard, draining the glass half empty in one go.

“Oh, boy. Well, they’re worth the credits that Armax paid for them that’s for sure.” Shepard couldn’t stop herself from grinning, but she tried to cover it with her hair as she leaned forward.

“Laugh all you want,” He started, scowling at her playfully. “But could you imagine all the calibrating I could do?”

Shepard laughed hard, tipping her head back and closing her eyes as the sound rang out around her. Garrus looked down, trying to keep a straight face but couldn’t he joined her, laughing hard the stress off the mission completely forgotten and the value of two friends enjoying each other’s company was firmly in it’s place.

People around them took sideward looks at them, wondering what all the fuss was about. Shepard still managed to keep tabs on Grunt down below, shouting encouragement to him too but her focus was on Garrus. The Turian who had stepped up to help her defending the Citadel and the one she couldn’t have been more pleased to see when she tracked him down on Omega. They leaned on each other affectionately as they talked about old times and discussed the new crew. The crowed around them getting bigger as it got later into the evening. Grunt eventually joined them, looking worse for wear but the grin slashed across his face.

“Shepard, I like this place.” He huffed, looking back down into the arena below them as another challenger took their position.

“I think I might know someone to talk to about your urge to punch anything that moves.” Sheppard leaned into him as he surveyed the people around them. Eyeing them warily.

“Oh yeah? And who is that Shepard?”

“An old friend of mine, and Garrus, actually.” The Turian nodded sloppily next to her, mandibles flaring slightly as she spoke.

“A Human isn’t going to help me, Shepard. I am Krogan,”

“I know Grunt,” She pushed his arm back down as he waved a large finger in her direction. Smiling politely at the patrons who started whispering among themselves and shuffling backwards away from them. “This friend of mine _is_ a Krogan.”

“Heh, you get around Shepard. I like you.” Grunt grinned again, slapping her on the shoulder that may have been a friendly gesture to another Krogan but if it weren’t for the railing next to her it might have knocked her to the floor. Apparently, he forgot that she was more durable when she was in armor.

“Well, once shore leave is over, we can go find him.”

“Actually, I need to speak to you about something, Shepard.” Garrus whispered to her ear, his tone serious. Shepard turned slightly to study him and found his bright eyes focused intently on her.

“Ok,” She turned momentarily to Grunt and told him to enjoy himself as she led Garrus away from the noise, linking her arm in his as they moved through the crowd.

Once outside, he ushered her to a doorway and turned to her. His HUD glowing in the darkness and providing a little light in the shadows.

“I received a message not too long ago, one that, what’s that Human expression? ‘put some fire in my eyes’.”

“Fire in your belly,” Shepard corrected him with a smile. “Go on.”

“Belly, well, yes. Anyway, I got some information on Sidonis, the one who sold out my men. He was last seen in the company of ‘Fade’ who my contact says is someone that makes people disappear for a price.”

“Where?” Shepard, leaned forward, wanting to keep her voice low. Garrus looked out at the people on the strip and pulled Shepard to him, creating the illusion that they were using the darkness as a cover for something other than a potential hit on a traitor. She obliged and leaned into him, lifting her head and looking adoringly at him, a stark contrast to their conversation.

“That’s the thing, Fade operates out of the Citadel. One of the warehouses beneath the Ward levels. I just don’t know which one.”

“Maybe we should pay Captain Bailey a visit? Unless you’re too drunk of course.”

“Nah, I’m good.” He bent forward, pretending to dip down for a long flamboyant kiss but instead just whispered against her lips. “Be nice to catch up with him anyway.”

Shepard playfully punched his arm as he pulled her up, bowing as he stepped out of the doorway. She activated her comm and asked EDI to check if Bailey was still at his post. When she confirmed that he was, Garrus flagged down a skycar for the decent to the lower levels. Neither of them realised that they had been watched.

* * *

“Fade, now that’s a name that I could get used to not hearing.” Bailey sighed, clasping his hands in front of him and resting them under his chin.

“Been a problem for you?” Shepard asked, gently prodding to see what they were up against. The other C-Sec officers were clearly busy with other things and paid not heed to the conversation going on by the door.

“This Fade is able to exploit the C-Sec systems, no matter what we do, they find a backdoor to it. If you’re planning to take them out, be my guest.”

“Do you know where they’re based?” Garrus cut in. Shifting around on his feet, eager to get on.

“Last I heard they were operating out of a Shipping warehouse here. But, they always seem to know when we are coming. Maybe you will have more luck.” Bailey waved a hand around in front of him, he had given up throwing men at this Fade problem, if a Spectre and former C-Sec officer wanted to have a shot, they had his blessing. There wasn’t much he could do about it even if he didn’t want them involved, Spectres moved above the law and there was nothing he could do about that.

“Thanks Bailey, you’ve been a great help.” Shepard nodded and nudged Garrus out of the door.

“Anytime Commander.” Bailey called after them, his voice tired as she shook his head lightly before turning back to his console.

“I know what you’re thinking but we still have one more day, _and,_ ” She put her hand up to stop him. Garrus rolled his eyes and cocked his head to one side, waiting for her to finish. “If this Fade is in on C-Sec business, I’d rather not have him expecting us today. We go in tomorrow, take him out and then find Sidonis.”

“Ok, Shepard, Logical as always. It’s just hard you know, not wanting to let him slip through my fingers. Especially as all the blood he spilled was all over my hands when I had to comfort the relatives of my dead men.” 

“I know, Garrus. But if we attack now, we run the risk of pushing him further underground, off the Citadel completely maybe. While he’s here, we have him.”

“I know, I know,” Garrus sighed. “Let’s go and find Grunt, seeing what trouble he’s got himself into will be a happy diversion.”

“For you maybe!” Shepard shot back, her smile softening the tone.

“Exactly.”

* * *

The journey back to the Silversun Strip was quick, the skycar weaved effortlessly through the traffic and dropped them down at the hail point. Neon lighting seemed to be a continuous presence here and reminded Shepard of the old vids of earth and what was called Las Vegas, mimicking the night-time atmosphere where the adults came out to play. She knew that Garrus was giving every person they walked past careful consideration, wondering if _they_ could be Fade, wondering if their quarry had walked past them unknowingly.

Shepard glanced at him, his mandibles were twitching slightly, the action reminded her of when a Human grinds their teeth. It was funny how alike they were, mannerisms that seemed to cross species and would make you wonder if they weren’t two peas in a pod just dressed in different skins. It seemed crazy that there had been a full blown war between their respective species, but then maybe, being so similar is the exact reason _why_ there had been a war, both stubborn, both prideful, like warring siblings that the Asari had to play parent to and demand that they ‘get along’. She smiled to herself, lowering her eyes to the pavement, Garrus noticed and looked more fully at her, trying to ascertain why she was suddenly grinning.

“As you used to say to me, spit it out. What’s made you start grinning?” His mandibles flared slightly as he tried to keep the amusement from his face and out of his voice.

“I was just thinking how alike we actually are, Humans and Turians.”

“Aside from the fact that we could kill each other with a well-placed sneeze?”

“I didn’t mean physically, Garrus.” She quirked an eyebrow at him as his mouth pinched together, trying to suppress a smile, he knew exactly what she meant. “The humour, the logic, the fear, the hopes. It just seems insane to think that back during the war, we would be enemies.”

Garrus looked straight ahead, she could tell that he was thinking, his bright blue eyes hardened as he processed what Shepard had said. They both seemed to slow their pace, causing people behind them to complain slightly as their path to their next bar was momentarily blocked. He went over the railing that circled the drop to the lower Wards meters below them, his talons curling over the handrail as he looked around at the mixture of species in front of them, watching how they all mingled, laughed, flirted even. It was surreal, especially when trying to reconcile this to a time when they would have been ordered to level guns at each other and have been expected to pull the trigger.

Shepard leant a hip on the barrier, watching him, waiting for something profoundly ‘Garrus’ to be said.

“I never understood the war,” He said finally, tapping his claws on the metal. “First contact and instead of greeting each other with wonder, we did it with bullets. What kind of impression did anyone expect to make by doing that? Even now, there are people on both sides that would find that fact that we’re even talking an offence, disrespectful even.” He waved a talon out at the people on the other side of the walkway.

Shepard looked in the direction he was gesturing to. There were tables filled with mixtures of species, all drinking together, clinking glasses, laughing hysterically at things being said, others were sat closer together, obviously on dates if the fleeting glances and soft touches were anything to go by. It certainly was surreal, considering the war hasn’t even reached it’s fifty-year anniversary. Shepard smiled lightly at nothing in particular before she started to speak.

“I was told once that you can’t judge an entire species by the actions of an individual. There are saints and jerks, and you have to see each person for that, not where they came from.”

“That’s a very noble way to look at things.” Garrus nodded. Knowing that both sides of that coin had been seen in every species that had come across although sometimes the coin was weighted to favour a particular side.

He pushed away from the railing and motioned for them to continue. Weaving their way past the crowds until they ended up outside Castle Arcade. The attendant gave them nod as he pulled the door open for them. Stepping inside, they were greeted by a huge holo display of a boxing match between two mechs. Grunt was stood at the controls as a rather nervous looking Salarian stood to his side, frantically pressing buttons.

There was quite the gathering around them and sympathetic sounds erupting at pivotal moments and cheers at others. There didn’t seem to be a singular support base for either player, most of the spectators were just enjoying the match as a whole.

Garrus and Shepard made their way over, excusing themselves as they bumped and squeezed between the crowd. Getting closer, they could hear Grunt yelling at the mech on the screen, totally engrossed in the damage he was doing electronically. The Salarian, in all credit to him, was giving as good as he got. Even with Grunt leaning towards him and glaring in the split seconds that he took his eyes off the screen. Both mechs were low on health and this round would in all likely hood be the end of the match. Shepard felt a knot of adrenaline spread out through her chest as she watched the blows being traded and listened to the enthusiasm of the crowd.

Grunt turned slightly to his opposition and licked his lips. The Salarian did a double take, momentary fear causing him to miss a shot. Grunt laughed raucously as the opponents mech lost its head in a shower of holo sparks. He had won, his honour was intact. The Salarian looked pissed off.

“If I had know that your method of winning would involve scare tactics instead of actual skill, I would never have agreed to play.” The Salarian folded his arms and glared at Grunt, his back eyes unmoving. Grunt stepped slightly towards him, turning his head slightly to fix one eye firmly on him and watched as his opponent swallowed hard.

“I am Krogan, my enemies fear is what drives me to victory.”

“It’s a game, not a war.”

Grunt started to snarl but Shepard sprang forward and placed herself in between them before anything more could be said or done.

“You did good Grunt; I’ve never seen the appeal considering the Armax is just over the street but…” She wasn’t sure what else to say, why _wasn’t_ Grunt still at the Armax?

“They told me I couldn’t fight for two hours. Apparently, I wasn’t being fair on other people. I think they were just scared of seeing what a pure Krogan could do.”

“Ah,” Shepard said, looking to Garrus for assistance to find another way of occupying Grunt.

“Why don’t you go try out the noodle bar, Grunt. I’ve heard it’s the best place to eat here and I’m sure you must be hungry.” Garrus chimed in, looking pleased with himself.

“Yes, food would be good. I can’t battle on empty stomachs.”

“Here,” Shepard said as she raised her omni-tool and tapped at it. Waiting for the light to blink orange above Grunts wrist as the credits she transferred over made their appearance. “I’ve sent you a little something to ensure that you don’t go hungry.”

Grunt just smiled and then brought his huge hand down towards Shepards shoulder, clapping her heavily. She gave him a smile that was tainted ever so slightly with a wince. He pushed his way through the crowd and made his way out of the door, leaving Garrus and Shepard in his wake. Finding that was there cue to leave, they followed suit and pushed their way through the now dispersing crowd and left the arcade.

The two of them made their way to a cart that sold snacks from every home planet in citadel space. Picking up delicacies that would have ordinarily required several days of travel at FTL, they took seats at a tiny bench and started nibbling. Whatever Garrus had picked out looked good, it was just a shame that it would give her an allergic reaction at best and kill her outright at worst. She was sure that Garrus was also staring wistfully at her selected snack of choice, another reminder that they may be alike in personality but they sure weren’t physically.

“Alenko,” Garrus suddenly said, causing Shepard to almost choke on the piece of Asari fruit that tasted like a sweet lemon. “I didn’t see you there.” He pulled a third stool to their already cramped table and beckoned the Biotic over.

He sat down gingerly; a small grin played on the corner of his mouth. “I didn’t want to intrude on your date.”

“Date?” Garrus asked confused, looking between Shepard and Kaidan.

“Took me a while to work it out, granted. But then that was quite a display between you two when you thought no one was looking, and now this. I know a ‘date’ when I see it.”

Shepard stared at Garrus, forgetting momentarily to keep chewing what she was eating. He was also returning her gaze, trying to work out what the hell Kaidan was talking about. Then it hit him.

“Oh, you mean the doorway. Well, let’s just say that it’s easier to pass on information when it looks like you’re not.” He made a ‘finger gun’ at Shepard, mandibles flaring wide as a grin broke out. Shepard on her part, looked slightly mortified that one of the crew had spotted them. Even more so that it was Kaidan of all people.

“Is that so,” Kaidan smirked at Shepards obvious discomfort. “Sure looked like more than passing on information from where I was standing.”

“You do realise, Alenko, that would be like kissing my sister?” Garrus cocked his head, furrowing his brow at the thought. Kaidan’s cocky smirk faltered slightly.

“I love you Garrus but just no.” Shepard agreed, shaking her head with a grimace.

Kaidan on his part, studied the two of them. Not sure if this was also just part of the act to throw him off the scent. He was so sure that this was why Shepard had blown hot and cold with him, reciprocating the flirting and then telling him it should never happen. Once he caught them in the doorway, it seemed like everything fell into place, she couldn’t help the ‘battlefield flirting’ but wouldn’t do anything more because of the damn Turian she was set on. Now though, they were telling him that he was wrong, but he couldn’t shake the feeling he had about them both being together.

“If that’s what you want to believe, I’ll play along for you.” Kaidan couldn’t stop the sarcasm from coming out in his voice. Sitting back from the table, he folded his arms, the shirt he was wearing pulled tight over his shifting posture.

“There’s nothing to play along with. Garrus and I go way back, that’s it.” Shepard said with finality, frowning at the Biotic with slight annoyance.

“Plus, if we're dating then why do we spend a lot of time discussing the problem of you?” Garrus pointed at Kaidan, equally frustrated that he wouldn’t let this go.

“Me? Why the fuck am I a _problem_? What the hell have you been saying Shepard?” The Biotic spluttered, caught off guard that he was somehow the topic of conversation between them.

“As if you don’t know.” She snorted as Garrus sat there grinning.

“If I did know, I wouldn’t fucking ask.”

“It’s what best friends are for, Alenko. Listening to problems and trying to work out a solution. Maybe you and Grunt could buddy up.” Garrus leaned on the railing next to him, waiting for Kaidan to reject the idea that he needed a friend. Kaidan didn’t disappoint him.

“I don’t think so, I’m happy on my own.”

“Well that’s settled then,” Shepard said, picking up her fork and poking at another bit of fruit that looked like apples back on earth but tasted slightly savoury. Garrus also resumed eating, finishing off what was left and pushing the plate into the middle of the table slightly. He could tell that Kaidan was bursting to ask the question but also desperately not wanting to show that he was bothered by the statement. Deep down, it gave him some satisfaction that there was a Human underneath all those Biotics, someone who wanted to feel included and part of a team.

“I think I’m going to call it a night, Shepard. We have a busy day tomorrow.” Garrus stared at her, the unspoken meaning to his words evident in the look he gave her. Kaidan wanted to punch them both.

“I hear you, lets go.” She wired payment for their meals and stood up to leave. Kicking her stool a little further under the table before she turned to head to the skycars. Garrus had already made his move over there and was climbing ungracefully into a waiting transit.

She checked her omni-tool, it wasn’t _that_ late, the constant night cycle here out things out of kilter but she was sure that Anderson would still be up and happy for a visit. Shepard glanced sideways, Kaidan had already got up and was following behind her. He wasn’t by her side close, but close enough for her to be aware that he was there. She could feel the buzz of his Biotics lapping at her as she moved towards the transit hub, she could tell when someone got in between them and the buzz faded slightly before crawling over her again once the person had been navigated around. Reaching the terminal she waited for him to catch up, wanting to at least ask him if he was coming with her but he lingered behind, too far away for a conversation unless she raised her voice.

Shepard closed her eyes and sent her own Biotics out towards him, an unspoken beckon. If he didn’t want to approach her to talk then she would know without even having to look at him. She smiled slightly to herself as she felt the familiar buzz grow stronger, his arrival already announced before he even said a word.

“You called?” He smirked, standing to the side of her and assessing her profile. He had his hands clasped behind his back and if Shepard didn’t know better anyone could have been fooled to think that he was a soldier at relaxed attention.

“I’m going back to the apartment, but I need to make a detour to check in on an old friend first,” She paused, gauging his reaction from the corner of her eye. His expression stayed the same, just watching her and waiting. “If you want to come that’s up to you or I can meet you back at home.”

“Tough choice,” He drawled, voice dipping low. “See Anderson with you or wait for you to come home…”

She punched in the request for a skycar, falling back from the console so that the next in line could input their own request. It was a short distraction from how he had insinuated that they lived together, allowing his voice to pull at something inside her chest that sent a little flutter of excitement radiating through her. She hoped that he couldn’t feel the traitorous spike in her Biotics, looking at the sky earnestly wishing the car would get here soon. Kaidan stepped forward, she could feel his chest pressing against her shoulder as he dipped his mouth to her ear. Shepard held her breath, not wanting to allow her rapidly beating heart to express itself as the sharp intake of breath she was desperate to make.

“I’ll come with you; I haven’t seen Anderson in god knows how long…” His words were hot on her ear but the closeness of him was now playing second fiddle to what he actually said. She turned to face him, her nose bumping his as she opened her mouth to question just how he knew Anderson. Instead it looked like an invitation, and one that he would have accepted if it weren’t for her name being yelled out. He looked up and cursed slightly as he spotted the skycar with the door open and the driver hollering her name.

She turned to leave, allowing herself that desperately needed shaky exhale as she tried to calm herself down. Fuck he got under her skin and into her head, not to mention that the tension between them was thick enough to cut. Thankfully, this ride was going to be short.

* * *

“Anderson!” Shepard almost yelled as she gave a sloppy salute and then embraced the older man. His Dress Blues rumpling as he hugged her tight.

Kaidan moved from one foot to the other, he was sure that someone must have called C-Sec already to report him being in this area. He didn’t belong here, that was painfully clear to him. He rubbed a forearm across his brow, now thinking that joining her was not a good idea at all, he should have just gone back to the apartment and waited for her.

Anderson stepped back and appraised her, more emotions than Kaidan thought possible seemed to flash across his face. They were supposed to be friends, but Anderson was looking at her as though she was a stranger at times, a ghost maybe.

“So, the rumours were true?” He asked her after a pause, seemingly settled on the idea that she was real.

“Yeah, sorry I haven’t been in touch earlier. I was out for two years. Seems like only yesterday though.”

“Two years, huh.” Anderson mused, he studied her face intently, looking at the person that in all consideration, shouldn’t be standing in front of him.

“The base where they put me back together was attacked, I wasn’t even fully healed when I was evacuated, I’m still not now if I’m being honest.”

“Yet they already have you running around saving the galaxy again.” The distaste was obvious in his voice and Shepard sighed.

“I don’t work for them, I’m using their resources to do something about the Human colonies, something that I don’t see the Alliance doing.” She was surprised how much it hurt to have to admit that the Alliance were sitting on their heels over this while Cerberus was actively doing something. Even Anderson had the decency to look embarrassed.

“Actually, the Alliance have been trying to upgrade the defensive systems on most colonies or providing air guns where they were none before,” He paused, looking for the right words before continuing. “Unfortunately, most of the colonies we are trying to protect don’t have much love for the Alliance. You might have more success than us with this one.”

Shepard bristled, she hated that he was so convinced that she had turned her back on the Alliance, especially after everything she had seen while trying to chase down Saren.

“They rebuilt the Normandy for this mission, spent billions of credits ensuring that she was the best of the best, spent billions of credits putting me back together. Told me to put together a team to stop these attacks,”

“I noticed that we have had some of the crew disappear.” Anderson interjected; his mouth set in a grim line.

“And yet the crew are half alien, whatever Cerberus’s opinions on putting Humanity first whatever the cost, they realise that this is bigger than one species.”

Anderson said nothing, but his eyes trailed over her shoulder at the man stood awkwardly behind her. Kaidan was trying to decide where to have his arms and was twitching between having them folded or behind his back. Anderson nodded lightly at Shepard and moved past her towards the Biotic.

Kaidan froze as he saw Anderson approaching him, for once he genuinely felt a flick of terror go through him. This man had been the herald of his rising career and also it’s destructor. His tongue snuck out to dampen his lips as he racked his brain on how to best greet the rapidly approaching man.

“Lieutenant,” Anderson started, holding out his hand towards Kaidan. There was no hint of familiarity in his tone, unlike when he had spoken to Shepard but there was no anger in it either. Kaidan reached out and grasped the man’s hand in his, shaking it once before letting go.

“Anderson, I don’t think you should be calling me that anymore.” Kaidan said dryly.

“No, maybe you’re right. But it’s good to see you Alenko. I heard that you had gone rogue and found yourself on Purgatory?”

“Yes…” Kaidan replied slowly, not really knowing how much Anderson knew about his misdeeds and eventual capture.

“And I’m presuming that Shepard here got you out?”

“Something like that.” Kaidan frowned. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous about the esteem that Anderson obviously held her in, even if she was working with the enemy.

“Anderson, I need to ask a favour.” Shepard started, pulling Anderson back by his arm so that he would turn to her. The older man did so, a questioning look fell over his face as she led them further away from Kaidan. The Biotic huffed, he knew exactly what the fuck she was talking to him about, even after he had told her that he wasn’t interested.

The pair turned back to him and he heard them discussing how ‘it shouldn’t be a problem’ whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. He settled with folding his arms across his chest, making sure that his displeasure with their conversation was loud and clear.

“Shepard tells me that you’ve been a real asset to her team ground side.” Anderson was smiling at him, either oblivious or ignoring Kaidan’s posture and hostility.

“Has she now.”

“Why would I lie?” She asked, taken aback that Kaidan would think she would bullshit about his abilities when he himself crowed about them at every opportunity.

“Because of your little ‘idea’.” Kaidan laced the words with as much venom as he could muster. Anderson looked between them, not understanding what was going on.

“Alenko, she asked me to tap the Brass to ensure that _if_ your mission was a success-“

“I know what she asked you and I already told her that I wasn’t fucking going back. I don’t want anything to do with your precious fucking Alliance!”

Anderson didn’t show any reaction to Kaidan’s outburst. His military training was obvious as he allowed Kaidan to yell while he kept his cool. Shepard wondered if this was one of the reasons that he was dishonourable discharged, insubordination seemed like a very Kaidan thing to do right now.

“I see that temper of yours hasn’t mellowed.” Anderson said finally once Kaidan had settled down.

“You sold me out!”

“I did nothing of the sort. I was the one who believed you but I was out ranked. You know that!” Anderson allowed frustration into his voice, this seemed like a conversation that had been going round in circles between them since the dawn of time. Kaidan stared at a bulkhead, grinding his teeth slightly as the chastisement fell over him.

“Sir,” Shepard said softly, causing both me to look at her. “If you can make sure that the Alliance don’t have him arrested when I return, _if_ I return, then that’s all I want.”

Kaidan stared at her hard. She hadn’t asked for him to be reinstated, she had just asked that he wasn’t thrown back into a brig once this rodeo was over. He had to find out why she had changed her mind.

“Yesterday you wanted me reinstated, what changed?”

“You didn’t want to be. You’ve embraced being CAT 6 more than you embraced being a marine, who am I to try and convince you otherwise.” She offered, raising her eyebrows at him.

Kaidan frowned, here was the cold after the hot that annoyed him so much. If she just stuck to her guns rather than changing her mind after five minutes, it would make her a damn sight easier to understand.

“I embraced being a marine, thank you very much. Ask Anderson. I _didn’t_ embrace being hung out to dry when the neuroses that they were well aware of were triggered by their shitty intel and I didn’t embrace being cast out like a plague victim when I needed to rely on them” He fixed his stare at Anderson, challenging him to argue that wasn’t what happened. Instead Anderson softened, regret etched on his face.

“Son, I’m sorry. I know I can’t change what happened, but I never wanted it to end up this way. You were a fine soldier, not worthy of being CAT 6’ed but…” He left the end unsaid, both men seemed to know what words should have been there. Kaidan seemed to sag visibly, the fight taken out of him for now. He stalked over to a seat in front of Andersons desk, dropping into it heavily. Anderson waked around to his chair, sitting down and bringing up something on his terminal.

“How much do you want her to know?” Anderson softly asked the man in front of him. Looking quickly to Shepard as she made her way to stand behind the other vacant chair.

“All of it, I guess.” Kaidan replied, waving his hand nonchalantly in front of him when his tone said he was feeling anything but.

Shepard felt her omni-tool buzz and the little orange light flash to let her know that she had a new message. She opened it up and checked the folder that was contained within it, seeing the mission report name she just nodded and closed it all down. Kaidan looked up at her, hopeful and completely broken all in one expression. Shepard gave him a small smile and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze that she hoped would be reassuring.

Anderson noticed the interaction between them and he frowned. In his mind they were still a Commander and Staff-Lieutenant, working together on the same ship and in the same chain of command. Even if there had been no obvious displays of affection aside form a little reassurance, he would still be concerned about fraternisation. However, he had to remind himself that they were not Alliance, not anymore anyway, his regs were not theirs and they were more than capable to sort their own mess out should it come to that.

“Was there anything else?” Anderson asked finally, looking between them with eyebrows raised.

Shepard and Kaidan looked at each other and shook their heads, seeking confirmation from each other that there was nothing left to discuss. Anderson tried to suppress a smile, he’s not seen many Biotics work together but there had clearly been something that had got these two in sync, even if they didn’t know it yet.

As the goodbye pleasantries were had, Kaidan quickly made his way to the terminal to call a skycar. Being in the office had given him time to forget where he was but now out here in the Presidium, he felt that same old wave of unease wash over him. His Biotics itched and his pulse quickened, feeling exposed and out of place.

“Calm down,” Shepard said behind him, as her own much calmer energy grated against his chaotic one. “don’t forget you’re with a Spectre.”

“I just feel out of place.” He said with a sigh as he reined in the prickling energy. Closing his eyes a little as he willed it back into control.

“Yeah, I know that feeling.”

“Back to your place?”

Shepard sighed heavily, suddenly ready to sink down on the couch and watch some shitty vids before passing out to sleep. “Yeah.”

* * *

They stumbled through the door, both laughing at Shepards retelling of the adventures with Grunt earlier on this evening. tapping the lights on, she threw her jacket over the back of a chair and activated the holo projector on the wall. The news came on first, discussing the rumours that a Commander Abigail Shepard had faked her own death to align herself with the terrorist group Cerberus. Kaidan stopped beside her and watched the vid, frowning at the reporters who seemed to be more excited at the fact there could be an Alliance scandal than the hero of the Citadel was alive.

Shepard grabbed a beer while swearing softly at the footage of her crawling out from the destruction with a shit eating grin on her face. She could feel Kaidan’s eyes follow her across the room. He had heard bits about this only recently but had never seen the news about it. There she was, in her Alliance hardsuit, bursting with pride that she had been part of the team that had just taken down the biggest threat to the galaxy. And now here she was, looking tired, dejected and working for the enemy, he almost felt sorry for her.

“Tell me about this.” He asked as she came back with two beers, passing him a bottle as she turned off the projector. She sat down on the sofa, rolling her eyes as he stopped to stand in front of her, obviously not planning to move unless she started talking.

“Saren, former Spectre, worked with the Geth to try and bring back a race of sentient machines called the Reapers. Their sole purpose is to eradicate all organic life in the galaxy. We chased him down and stopped him, blowing the solitary Reaper called Sovereign to shit and Garrus sunk a bullet into Saren’s head. Job done.”

Kaidan frowned at her, he was expecting more of a story from her but that would have to do for now. He opened his mouth to ask another question when she spoke again, this time so softly that he could hardly hear the words.

“Shenyang, Emden, Jakarta, Cairo, Seoul, Cape Town, Warsaw, Madrid. All lost protecting the Council along with at least six thousand Turians. God knows how many other thousands of lives trying to bring down Sovereign. It was a bloodbath. I am no _hero_.”

Kaidan wasn’t a stranger to sacrificing people, hell, it was what Cerberus had trained him to do and why the Alliance had been so ready to accept him. What was a stranger was the feeling of regret from doing it. He had been conditioned to feel rewarded that it was someone else that had died and not him, satisfaction that he had bested someone else or that another had died so that he could complete his objective. Hearing how much that regret was eating up Shepard, he was glad that he hadn’t experienced it but it didn’t make it any easier to see it painted on her face.

What was concerning was that the one time that he genuinely felt that he should hug her to try and bring some comfort, she would probably only see an attempt to flirt with her. An attempt that she would probably think that he was making because she seemed vulnerable. Hell, even sitting down next to her would come off as inappropriate at this point, so all he could do was stand there, looking down at her as she glumly took a pull from the bottle in her hands and idly started going through the report that Anderson had sent to her omni-tool.

She read in silence, Kaidan waiting for the tones of disgust that he was sure to follow once she got to the part about his discharge hearing. At most she frowned, the occasional eyebrow twitching upwards at what she was reading. The silence was killing him, he had no idea what she was actually thinking, nothing to go off to try and pre-emptively work out what to say to the questions he was sure he would be asked. 

Finally, Shepard placed the bottle on the table by the arm of the sofa and stood up, focusing intently on the words in front of her as she made her way out to the small balcony. She closed the door behind her and started talking to someone on a comm. Kaidan couldn’t make out the words but she looked deep in thought. She nodded once, twice before opening the door again. Kaidan dropped down onto the sofa, at least this way she would have to sit next to him if she chose to.

“Not going to lie Kaidan, it’s a damn fucking shame.” She said sadly, giving him a watery smile.

“Is it though? I think everyone concerned thought it was for the best.”

“If you were half the soldier that I’ve seen on the battlefield, it’s a damn fucking shame, trust me.”

He smirked to himself, a feeling of annoyance rolled through him, no one else had seen fit to think that about him. Why the fuck was she saying it now? What did she want? “You’re in the minority, Shepard. I was a coward and a liability, remember?” He waved his hand at her, reminding her of what she had just read.

“Anderson didn’t think so, and it’s pretty shitty that they used a scapegoat to cover up their own fallacies. Not to mention the zero support you were given. I mean it Kaidan, If I had read your file before Akuze, I would have picked you for my ship in a heartbeat.”

Kaidan openly laughed at her, “And after reading about Akuze?”

“I’d still pick you. Trust me, there isn’t one marine worth their salt who has seen some shit and not needed to go to a psych after. So either they didn’t provide one or you didn’t go. That would be the deciding factor, not what happened on the mission.”

Silence descended again, this time heavy enough to smother them both. Kaidan stared straight ahead, not wanting to meet Shepards gaze as it bore into his temple. He raised the bottle to his mouth, letting the action buy him some more time before he had to reply. “I went.” He said finally, in a smaller voice than he wanted to use.

“And?”

Kaidan turned to her, lifting one eyebrow. Why wasn’t she letting this lie? Did she get a kick out of hearing how he was fucked up or something? “And it was a waste of fucking time. No one understood the shit I had been through, what I had just about managed to cope with on my own. They didn’t know what to do with me, so instead of figuring that shit out they labelled me as a liability. Mentally unstable. Between that, my insubordination and _cowardice_ , I could kiss my career goodbye,” He stood up again, pacing the living area. Shepard was beginning to see that it was one of his quirks that signified he was getting stressed.

“Kaidan-“ She started, trying to put her hand on his shoulder and subdue the turmoil that was starting to build but he threw it off, turning to glare at her as he stopped her from continuing.

“I’ve seen marines high as fuck on Red-Sand gunning people down as they were running away, not giving shit if they were civilians or not. Those fucks were given more help than I was, their transgressions marked down as unfortunate casualties of war. I utilise the self-preservation instinct that was ground into me, that the Alliance thought was _so good_ that they wanted me, and I get thrown out. It’s fucking bullshit Shepard.”

“So you have said, Kaidan,” Shepard replied, unflinching as he stopped in front of her. His Biotics coiling around him like serpents waiting to strike. “You don’t think I’m pissed off with them too? They have branded me a traitor, as though I’d be better off dead because it was Cerberus who brought me back. And what’s worse, is that if they were actually willing to do something about the Collectors, I would tell the Illusive Man to fuck off in a heartbeat to join them.”

“It doesn’t always have to be about you saving the galaxy, Shepard.” He spat back, their war of words inciting him, goading him.

“It does because that’s what I signed on for. I signed on to protect these people, and if I don’t do it then who will?”

“Looks like the Illusive Man knows how to play you like the billion credit fiddle you are, Shepard.” He sneered at her, laughing at how easily she had been conned into doing Cerberus’s bidding under the guise of stopping the Collectors.

Her hand came up before she could think, balling into a fist and she punched him. Connecting with his lip, knuckles splitting the skin as the impact took them both by surprise. Kaidan raised his hand gingerly to his bottom lip, tasting iron in his mouth his fingers tentatively sought out the place where the blood was coming from. Shepard at least had the decency to look mortified.

“Kaidan,” She tried to reach out to him but he pulled back, unsure what to do. A burst of red sunk into the fabric of his shirt, marring the crisp white cotton. She stepped forward again, trying to close the distance so that she could at least assess the damage.

“You know, normally I would kill someone for that. Be lucky that you’re you.”

“Your threats aren’t going to scare me away, Kaidan. So stop fucking moving and let me have a look!” She grabbed his wrists and wrenched them down to his sides, stepping closer to grab his jaw before he could back away again or struggle to stop her.

He huffed, blood dripping down his chin as he tried to look away, he felt her fingers dig into his jaw as she pulled his face front and centre. Glaring, he held her stare until she dropped her eyes down to his lip and the large split that had appeared, aggravated by the swelling that was rapidly taking over.

Shepard gently pushed on each side of the split with her thumbs, checking if she could somehow get the edges lined up enough to plaster it in medi-gel. Kaidan winced slightly, his head jerking back ever so slightly. 

“Sorry.” She whispered, raising her eyes to his.

“It’s fine.” He slurred, trying not to move his mouth too much. Her fingers were making it hard enough anyway as they restrained his jaw.

“Sit on the floor, I can sort this out.” Shepard released him and pointed to a spot in front of the sofa as she waked to the bathroom to retrieve her medical kit. She returned to find Kaidan sat down with his back against the sofa. “Other way around.”

Kaidan turned, kneeling on his heels as she sat down on the sofa in front of him, scooting forward so that her thighs were either side of his shoulders. Placing the bag to her side she pulled out gauze to clean him up, tipping his head back gently and dabbing up as much blood as she could.

Twisting the cap off the medi-gel, she smoothed it down over his lip, grimacing slightly herself as she registered the wince on his face. She knew this stuff stung before it got better, but it worked wonders which is why everyone tolerated it. Her last touch was to set some adhesive stitches to hold the edges together while the medi-gel did its magic.

“There, done.” Shepard smiled as an apology. Kaidan raised his hand again to try and touch the wound but Shepard swatted his hand away before he could get there.

“You just going to keep hitting me this evening?” The swelling had gone down enough already that he had lost his slight slur.

“Shit Kaidan, I am sorry.” She tried to stifle a laugh, but it broke free slightly before she could swallow it back down. She received an amused glare in response as he shifted back slightly on his knees.

“I’ll forgive you, this time.” He narrowed his eyes as he spoke, but the hint of a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Good, because who the hell am I supposed to take ground side with me otherwise?”

He genuinely laughed, dropping his head slightly. The sound was deep but oh so welcome after the aggressive stand-off that had occurred only moments earlier. Looking up again he tried to smile but released a sound of pain as the movement pulled at the edges of the split. “Ow.” He grimaced, pursing his lips and frowning. “How long does this stuff take to work? I thought it would have knitted everything together by now.”

“Just keep scowling for the next few hours and you’ll be fine.”

* * *

Shepard fired up the projector again and brought up a selection of old vids for Kaidan to flick through for something that he wanted to watch. She had already relieved him of his shirt and had pulled out the stain remover that all marines swore by to remove blood and other battle stains from their BDU’s, dabbing it over the mark and leaving it to do its thing.

Pulling out two more beers from the fridge she popped the cap and handed a bottle to Kaidan as she settled down at the other end of the sofa and pulled up the file that Anderson had given her on a datapad, going over the details again and making all the appropriate noises to Kaidan’s questions.

“I know you’re not listening to me now.” He said, pulling the datapad from her fingers as she made a noise in protest.

“I was listening,” She lied, trying to keep the blush from creeping out from her collar that would confirm that she had been caught.

“So when should we set the date?” He stared at her hard as he leant towards her, his amber eyes glinting with a hint of mischief as he waited for her to try and dig herself out of the hole she had made.

“What dates would be good for you?” She asked hesitantly, realising that she had no idea what he had asked her and hoping that his response might give her a clue or at least bide her some time.

“I mean, maybe before we go through the Omega 4 Relay.” Kaidan shrugged, happily playing the game he had set up. He let a light smile rest on his lips but his eyes told her that he was waiting for a reply to the original question.

“Ok,” She sighed, closing her eyes in defeat. “You got me, I zoned out for two seconds. What did you ask me?” Turning back to him as she felt him move closer to her and the tingle of his Biotics.

“I asked you if you wanted us to get hitched. I guessed that was something that you would only say yes to if you were ignoring everything I was saying to you. And look, it worked.” Kaidan sat back again, looking smug that he had caught her out and how she squirmed with embarrassment.

“I was reading your service record, Staff-Lieutenant.”

“Can you stop fucking calling me that? Or do you want me to call you ‘Traitor’ every time I address you?” Kaidan bit back, annoyance flaring up again.

Shepard rolled her eyes, how was it every time they seemed to be getting on they couldn’t help but piss each other off. He wasn’t Garrus, who she could relentlessly tease about calibrating everything and he would take it on the chin. The Turian had the advantage of being with her when she saved the galaxy the first time, working with her side by side for enough missions that they became family.

Kaidan had only been with them for a matter of weeks and all they had achieved was a kiss that should have never happened and a punch to the face. The only time that there wasn’t this strange hot and cold dynamic between them was when they were taking out enemies and they were going to run out of them eventually.

“Look,” She finally said. Levelling a stare at him as he glared right back at her. He was lounging up against the opposite end of the sofa, one knee brought up on the seat and his other leg hooked over his ankle. He looked like he just didn’t give a shit about whatever she was going to say but it needed to be said, regardless if he was going to like it or not.

“Yes?” the sarcasm dripping as he elongated the word. Shepard watched his chest rise and fall methodically, steady. If he was riled up, he was keeping himself under control.

“You push people away because of what Cerberus did, I get that. You hate the Alliance because of how they treated you, I get that. But this constant fight-friendship thing we have going on, I don’t get that. I don’t know what you actually want.” Shepard kept her face emotionless, folding her arms across her chest as she mirrored his position. She could tell he was thinking, the intensity of his gaze shifted slightly and the little pulse point by his temple twitched as he clamped his jaw tightly shut before he said anything he might regret.

“I’ve already told you what I want.” He whispered out eventually. Furrowing his brow as if he was annoyed with himself at having to say it.

“Have you? I don’t think you have ever told me if you want friendship or just a professional relationship.” It was Shepards turn to frown, she couldn’t remember at all when he had given her even a clue as to how he wanted them to associate. Kaidan snorted a laugh and turned away from her, slinking off the sofa to return to the spot by the window.

He looked out over the skyline as the artificial night cycle had caused the buildings in front of him to become picked out in tiny lights. There were still plenty of skycars buzzing about through the air, taking their passengers to and from places all over the Citadel. He could just call one up and get out of this awkward conversation. Leave like he had intended to do before she gave him that stupid datapad, and then _kissed_ him. Fuck.

He didn’t turn back around but he knew that she was still staring at him. Her slight reflection in the glass told him as much but it was the gentle thrum of her Biotics against his that really confirmed that her attention was directed squarely at his back. He replayed the reasoning he had given her for pushing her away, he felt sure at the time it was for the best but then that damn small voice in his head had told him that he didn’t need to. He’d told her that he was attracted to her, but then she comes out with ‘friendship or professional’, completely ignoring that he had told her that he wanted neither of those things but hinted that he had wanted something more.

Kaidan didn’t see her leave the sofa and only realise that she had even moved when he heard water running in the kitchen. He turned his head slightly to watch her from the corner of his eye as she rinsed his shirt through, dabbing at the front and making sure that the blood had completely gone. She pulled out a hanger from a cupboard and hooked his shirt over it, gathering up his harness as she threaded it over the shirt and left them together to dry.

Shepard seemed to be busying herself in the kitchen, clearing up food containers and bottles. Taking her time to rinse things and place them in the right receptacles, looking for ways to occupy her hands, the silence, and the time. Kaidan turned back to the window and groaned to himself, pressing his forehead lightly on the glass.

“I need to see a contact, I’m not sure if I will be back tonight so, uh, you can have the bed. I shall see you at the dock at 0500 tomorrow.” She said to his back as she hovered by the door. Leaving him a way out of her question seemed to be the smartest thing to do at the moment and if she wasn’t physically there, maybe he might make up his mind a bit easier.

“Abi,” He whispered, fogging up the glass. Shepard froze with her hand almost about to swipe through the holo on the door. When he remained silent, she dropped her hand down and stepped through the opening.


	6. Pragian Potential

She didn’t actually have anyone to see or anywhere to go, so she walked. Mingling around the Ward where it was apparent that people set up their own schedules of sleep and wakefulness. Stores seemed to always be open and Shepard meandered in and out of them, checking what was available before nodding politely at the store staff, who seemed eager for a sale, and ducking out into the street again.

Dipping away from the hushed conversations about her, she made her way to the Strip, drawn to the bustle and lights, where she could shrink into obscurity even in the middle of the street. The glow from the neon’s above cast elongated shadows across doorways as she walked past them. Her feet leading her to a offensively bright entrance-way.

Stepping inside she nodded at a few of the familiar faces as she swiped her card and waited for the gate to open for her. When the message came up that a match was about to start she swore softly and looked at the board to see if it was a name she recognised. ‘Subject Zero’ was listed, Shepard paused and felt her breath hitch in her throat. Kaidan must have come straight here after she left, trying to blow off steam after their argument.

She felt her own hands close over the railing as she leant forward to take a cautious glimpse into the arena below. The set up was the same as the arena she had opted for when she was last here with him. The countdown flicking on the holo board that rotated silently above as she saw him step to one side and form behind the ramp partition that had blocked her view.

He was wearing the armor she had picked out for him. The Alliance blue contrasting with his olive skin as he raised his hand to adjust the visor that was positioned over his left eye. He seemed to look around quickly, scanning the patrons above him as they gathered against the railing to watch. Shepard pushed herself back from them, not wanting to be seen, not wanting him to think that she had come here to see him.

His fight was fast and furious. He hadn’t used his shotgun at all, relying on his Biotics and rage to take out all of the Geth enemies that had been projected in. Shepard had watched him, seeing a similarity to the power level that he had displayed on the prison ship but this time more controlled. Any hope of slipping away was shattered when the VI announced to the gathering crowd that ‘Commander Shepard’ was the next combatant in the arena.

Kaidan froze upon hearing her name. He had come here to get away from her, get away from the constant reminder of her that was her apartment. Now it seemed like she had done exactly the same thing. Come here to get away from him, clearly the contact she had told him that she needed to meet was the VI here.

Pulling off his visor, he wiped the beads of sweat away with his gloved hand, the under armor fabric they were made out of rough against his skin. He tried to sort out his ruffled hair as best he could before stepping back into the competitors area, feeling heat rising from his neck at the thought of her coming down here and seeing him in the armor he had insisted he hated wearing.

“Alenko.” Shepard said evenly as she got to the bottom of the stairs and saw him about to disappear into the changing room. She took a step forward, testing to see if he was just going to walk away or talk to her.

“Shepard.” He pulled off his gloves and rested his weight on one foot as he waited for her to say something, anything to him.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Well, it seemed like a good place to cut loose after you bailed on me.” The words came out with a dismissive tone, like he couldn’t have cared less, his expression let on that he did.

“You want to go again?” She asked, nodding at the combat selector behind him. She hoped that she came across as sincere, as maybe they could talk while fighting a common enemy instead of fighting each other.

He pursed his lips, battling the decision to stay or just go. He did want to spend time with her, hell, he enjoyed spending time with her and it might be easier for both of them to get out what they wanted to say when they were busy on not getting taken out.

“Sure, I think I still have the energy.” He shrugged, not wanting to seem too eager to spend time with her like a lovesick teenager. Shepard rolled her eyes at him and shook her head.

“Having the energy and actually wanting to are very different things, Kaidan. You don’t have to on my account.” She pushed open the door to the female changing room, letting go of it to swing shut on its own.

Kaidan’s fingers caught the edge and he marched in, annoyed at how dismissive she had been towards him.

“Why are you giving _me_ a hard time?” He almost yelled at her. He had wanted to join her in a match so they could spend time together without ending up yelling at each other but here they were.

“Because you might be saying ‘ok’ but your attitude is telling me that you would rather be somewhere else.” Shepard pulled out her armor and started stripping off her BUD’s. Yanking the shirt off over her head, her dogtags clinked against her chest and Kaidan couldn’t stop himself from allowing his eyes to follow the noise. She sneered at his reaction and started pulling at the poppers and buckles on her trousers.

Kaidan went to make a retort but clamped his mouth shut and let the admonishment roll over him. She wasn’t wrong, he had said ‘ok’ but she was wrong about him wanting to be somewhere else. He had a feeling though that telling her that she had made an error would not have worked in his favour.

“I don’t really know what you want from me, Shepard. I’m not a mind reader but you seem to just get annoyed by who I am. I said ‘Sure’ but you seem to be trying to pick up on any excuse to throw it back in my face.”

Shepard paused, her under armor pulled up to her waist and stopped buckling up her legplates. This would have been a damn sight easier if they hadn’t shared that awkward kiss. Now she was trying to keep him at arm’s length while also desperately trying to keep him close. Something had to give as they couldn’t carry on like this, petty arguments and flirting was not going to help the mission.

“Look,” She huffed as she squeezed her arms into the skin-tight fabric of the suit and rustled around for the various parts of her chestplate. “Any other time then whatever we have going on could be ‘explored’ shall we say, but I can’t jeopardise the mission for whatever it is between us. Maybe in another time, things would have been different.”

Kaidan laughed, the sound emanating from somewhere deep in his chest. The richness off it would have normally made Shepard grin along with him but she frowned, she had just told him that she would have pursued whatever _this_ was if it wasn’t for the mission and he was laughing at her.

“In another time, I would still be stuck in cryo in Purgatory, but if you want to believe that we could have just bumped into one another somewhere then I won’t stop you living that fantasy. For the good of the mission of course.”

Shepard winced at the sting in his words, he was right, they wouldn’t have met any other way. The only reason he was here was because Cerberus had the resources to front the undeniably massive fee for his release. She fiddled with the chestplate in her hands, fussing at the clamps and picking at the light damage that marred the otherwise pristine Alliance blue paint work.

Her silence was enough for Kaidan, the mission came first, even when their meeting was a once in a lifetime event. He rolled his shoulders and turned to leaver her to continue getting suited up, pulling at the clasps of his own chestplate as he made a move towards the door.

Shepard was there in a flash, blocking his exit and leaning on the door to try and prevent him from pulling it open. They both knew that he could just send out a Pull and get her out of his way but she hoped that the gesture would be taken as a request to stay rather than as one of inconvenience.

He stopped, cocking his head to one side and silently questioning her motives. His fingers finally releasing the clamp on his left shoulder as he waited for her next move.

“Kaidan, please.” She finally whispered. The sound telling him that she was done with the arguments and awkwardness. She stepped towards him and her hand lifted up to the clamp he had just undone, fingers pushing it back down to secure it again. He watched the motion, as her fingers lingered longer than necessary before sliding away down the top of his chestplate as she brought her hand down to her side.

He fought his instinct to say ‘ _fuck it_ ’ to everything and pull her to him. The nagging conflict between how she had made it clear that she didn’t want to fight anymore but also made it perfectly clear that the mission came first stopped him. He just had to think of it like Frat Regs. She was his CO and therefore he could look but not touch. While his intentions were to sober up his thoughts, the light glaze of blue that slipped over his form at her touch let her know that his actions and feelings were not on the same page.

“Commander.” He finally let out, his voice husky as he tried to keep down the surge of energy that was threatening to break free. She was intently watching the movement of his Biotics over his shoulders and chest, bringing her eyes up to his and seeing the swirls of blue that mixed with the amber there.

Shepard started to open her mouth, Kaidan wasn’t sure if it was to say something or to kiss him but he didn’t care which. He met her gaze with a matching intensity, waiting for whatever move she was going to make, the energy surrounding him becoming more chaotic as his heart rate started to rise.

A disembodied voice cut through the changing room, startling both of them.

“Commander Shepard, would you require more time to progress to the Arena or alternatively do you want to cancel the match?”

Shepard snapped her head towards the ceiling, the moment between them suddenly forgotten. While she was relieved that there had been a way out of what she would have professionally called a mistake, there was a small fierce part deep inside that was annoyed as hell that they had been interrupted.

“More time, I’m adding a combatant. Need time to adjust.” She snapped at the ceiling before looking back at Kaidan, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Yes, I’ll come.” The corner of his mouth tugged upwards lightly as she smiled back at him.

“Good,” She quickly clasped on the rest of her armor and turned away to pick up her pistol. Shepard chewed at her lip as she realised that she was more excited to be with him than the match itself. Turning back to him, she cupped his jaw in her hand before slinking past and into the lift area.

* * *

The match had been a lot of fun, they had chosen to forego the constantly replenishing thermal clips and tried to rely on their Biotics as much as possible. Kaidan had needed to throw a Barrier over both of them at one point when Shepard was paying more attention to him than the Geth that were running up to her position. He had charged at her and pushed her into cover, slamming her into the ground on her front as he struggled to keep his weight off her and maintain the Barrier.

Shepard had wriggled her way around while pinned, their armor scraping together as she tried to stay in the boundaries of the Barrier and see how close their enemy was. Kaidan had just looked at her, if she was planning to do something, it needed to be quick as there was only so much damage he could absorb. The second rocked burst against his Barrier and the Biotics flickered, both of them aware that he couldn’t keep it up for another hit. Shepard moved again, positioning herself so that she would be able to reach around him, she looked into his eyes and he nodded, understanding that this was going to be a now or never moment.

Between them, they combined their Biotics to flatten the last remaining Geth, Kaidan’s Barrier blinked out as Shepard sent out the Shockwave, consuming what little power he had at his disposal as his amp burned at the base of his skull. He dropped his head as the holo confetti rained down and leant his forehead on hers as they both laughed. He scooted backwards, resting on his knees as Shepard sat up, giving him a shaky high-five and glancing at the scorecard. She had just pipped him to the post for the kill streak by taking out that last enemy.

After retreating to the separate changing rooms, Shepard came out to find Kaidan waiting for her. He was dressed again in the white shirt to try and blend in with the citizens that had come to call the Citadel home. Leaning up against the wall, arms folded and his weight on one leg, he looked both disarming and dangerous at the same time, a lethal combination.

Shepard smiled at him, knowing that the tell-tale rosy tint was creeping up from her neckline. They had all but managed to keep a lid on whatever chemistry was going on between them, and yet here he was, causing knots to form in her chest as her heart lurched to keep up with her head. He sidled up next to her as she started to ascend the stairs back to the lobby, she wasn’t sure but if she had to make a guess, she would say he was deliberately walking close enough to allow his hand to brush against hers, or allow their shoulders to bump.

“Hungry?” Kaidan purred against her ear as they reached the top. Shepard didn’t turn but smiled wryly, dinner sounded great right about now.

Kaidan watched her as she went to the console and started to look through the reward options that she could spend her points on. Shepard looked like a kid at Christmas as she pondered over several weapon upgrades that piqued her interest, obviously wrangling with the decision over what one to pick.

Leaning against a bulkhead he folded his arms and focused on her, his mind wandering and allowing his thoughts to push forward. He felt caught up in her excitement, yet he wasn’t sure when he had last felt at ease enough to allow himself to enjoy someone else’s company. The unease over his past had been pushed back far enough that he could allow himself to smile at her, to join in when she laughed.

He knew that she had told him that his past was no longer his future, and right now, he believed her. They were on the Citadel, there was no way that anyone was going to try and take out the great Commander Shepard while she was in plain sight, and when she was in her apartment, well, he would be with her.

Breathing in steadily, his mind wandered to the battlefield they had shared since she get him out of Purgatory. How they had found a way to enhance each other, how he had found a way to boost his own Biotics even further without the need for anger to take control. He frowned, wondering why Cerberus or the Alliance hadn’t tried it before. It seemed so simple now, working with someone to increase his powers, instead of them relying on holding him down and being forced to watch a close friend or lover be tortured until he lost control.

Shepard turned around and looked straight at his frown. She faltered slightly, all the excitement of finding an upgrade that would work well with his shotgun fading from her as she took in his expression. His eyes widened as he realised that she was looking at him and a smile crept on his face. She tilted her head at him, silently questioning what was wrong. He shook his head lightly and huffed as he pushed himself away from the wall and purposefully made his way towards her.

She couldn’t help the little fluttering in her stomach as she watched him lithely step around the crowd that was milling about. His shirt making him a beacon against the darker attire of the other patrons but the way he moved through them made her feel like she was prey being stalked by a predator. Shepard couldn’t help herself, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth as she tried to quell the rising tide that was spreading up and through her chest as he got closer.

“So, what did you find?” Kaidan asked her as he stopped distractingly close in front of her. She had to tilt her head to look at him, bringing her eyes up to the amber pools of his own and seeing something flickering behind them.

“This, I thought you might be able to use it.” She looked down as she held out the slip for the upgrade. He was so close that she was millimetres from just pressing it into his chest. He looked down and took the slip of paper from her, fingers brushing hers as he relived it from her grip. Shepard wasn’t sure if he had done it deliberately, but a quick glance upwards and his smirk told her that it was.

Kaidan held the slip out to the side to read it, his eyebrows raised as he took in the upgrade that she had picked. “How much did this set you back?” His eyes locked on to hers as she stood there waiting for his reaction.

“I have a lot of points that I don’t know what to do with. Plus, Grunt can make use of it too.” Shepard knew that it sounded like she was trying to make out it was no big deal but they both knew that it was. This thing would have not been cheap.

“If you have this many points then you have a problem, Shepard. Maybe fight real enemies for a change?” Kaidan raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to try and deny that she spent way too much time in here or that she did fight real enemies. She wasn’t buying it though and kept her mouth shut, lips pursed together disapprovingly.

“I can always get the credits instead,” She started, trying to grab the slip out of his hand. He raised his arm, causing her to jump slightly to try and snag it and she crashed against his chest as she dropped back down. Kaidan laughed at her efforts, still holding the slip of paper above his head.

Shepard jumped, but she wasn’t reaching for the paper. She latched her legs around his waist and one arm snaked around his neck, keeping her clamped to him as he stumbled backwards. Patrons that were stood close to them moved suddenly, giving the pair of them space in case they did fall over. Kaidan dropped his arm slightly as he tried to pull Shepard away with his free arm, blindly grabbing at her waist and getting handfuls of BUD’s that he tried to tug at to get her to let go.

Shepard smiled, broad and genuinely happy at their play-fighting. She plucked the slip from his fingers and felt him groan into her shoulder as he realised that she had won this round. Releasing her vice like grip of his waist, she slipped down his frame, pulling another groan from him that she knew was for another reason. Finally relinquishing her hold on his neck once her feet were on the ground, she grinned at him as he slowly opened his eyes.

“You always fight this dirty?” Kaidan narrowed his eyes as he asked, the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth gave away that he wasn’t serious.

“Nope,” Shepard raised her eyebrows at him, waiting for the next comment. “but it seemed to work with you.”

Kaidan tilted his head at her, trying to work out if she had pulled off that move that because she knew that it would get a reaction out of him or she legitimately used the action when no other options were left to her. He was pretty sure though that if she did use it when she was out of options, the end result would be a swiftly broken neck rather than tantalising her enemies into submission. Maybe he was just very, _very_ , lucky.

“Anyway, now that you’ve had your way with me, I thought we were going to get dinner?” He let the innuendo linger. He had already told her that he found her attractive, so there was no way that she hadn’t realised just _why_ he was groaning as she worked to get her feet on the floor. All he could hope was that this display from her was something more than just trying to get one over him. With him now taking her to dinner, what he needed to do was try his damned hardest not to do something to fuck up the moment like he had already done so many times already.

* * *

“Noodles?” He asked with trepidation as Shepard stopped in front of a booth and glanced over the menu board behind the counter. He had been hoping for something greasier and more substantial, but he had let her pick, and this was apparently it.

“Garrus recommended it to Grunt and if he thought it could satisfy a Krogan appetite then it should be more than enough for a Human one.” She smiled quickly at him and then turned back to the board, squinting at the seemingly endless options that were available.

Kaidan didn’t know where to start. Before he had been caught, he sought out the dingiest of dives to refuel and unwind, the cheapest food often meant eating piles of questionable meat fried until it was edible and occasionally spiced if you were lucky. While he was pretty sure that Shepard wouldn’t have chosen somewhere that did Varren burgers, he had hoped that she might have picked something that wasn’t a mere ‘snack’.

“I don’t even know what half of these are. Recommend something?” He whispered at her as she made her way over to pay.

I turned out that her recommendation was a watery noodle soup with some sort of wrapped meat parcels in it. It looked wholly unappetising, but Shepard was slurping and chewing with gusto. While it might not have been his first pick on looks alone, he had eaten worse and he speared a ball with the chopstick that Shepard had insisted they use and took a tentative bite.

“See, good pick, right?” Shepard said to him as she grinned, watching him eat. He must have shown pleasant surprise at the first bite as she was promptly revelling in his own unknown approval at her choice.

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten somewhere like this before,” Kaidan returned her grin but faltered slightly as he realised why. “When I was on an Alliance paycheck it was rations all the way and then after, well, money spent on fancy food could be money better spent on weapons.”

He felt stupid all of a sudden, like this admission about his past reaffirmed that he was a lowly criminal that she was slumming it in his company. The familiar feeling of closing off crept over him, a million arms holding everything at arm’s length from him and he knew that she would have sensed his sudden change.

Shepard watched his face as he spoke, the honesty and realisation that crept over his features as he told her about how he lived, _survived_ , while looking out for himself after the Alliance had cast him aside. Instinctively, her hand crept out under the table until it found his knee, fingers curling around the base of his thigh and squeezing to offer reassurance.

Kaidan raised his eyes to hers, wondering if her touch was one of pity for him or understanding. He dropped his gaze, she was Commander fucking Shepard, there was no way that it was understanding. This was pity and as much has he promised himself not to fuck this up, he pulled his leg away from her touch. He did not need her pity.

As his mouth set in a grim line she felt her fingers being removed from their contact as she squirmed in her seat. She dropped her hand before bringing it up to rest on the table, the dish in front of her now unappetising as she realised that he didn’t want to be here anymore. She stared at her bowl, swirling the chopsticks through he noodles, oblivious to the bustle around them as she focused on the swirling patterns forming in the soup as she contemplated how to get past this.

They could just finish their meal in silence, allowing the unease and annoyance to wash over them until the tide turned. Repeat the same process that they always did when they weren’t on the battlefield, where it would be fine, then something would come up that made Kaidan bristle. She could persist in her actions, finding another part of him to touch, to reassure him that whatever was going through that head of his, she was there.

She pushed her bowl away with a sigh and stood up, slipping off the stool with ease as she made up her mind. Kaidan glanced at her from the corner of his eye, waiting to watch her leave him because _he_ couldn’t get past _his_ history. She reached forward and pushed his bowl away too, standing closer to him until she was almost pressed against his side. Kaidan felt his breath hitch slightly, nerves and adrenaline spiking though him as he waited for her next move.

“Look at me.” She softly demanded, fingers gripping his jaw lightly as he resisted. Stubble scratching her fingers as she pulled his face to her.

Kaidan raised his eyes to her face, a storm seemed to swell within him as he stared at her, challenging her to make her next move. “I’m looking.” he tartly replied.

He fingers went from gripping his jaw to stroking his cheek. Cerberus and their experiments filled his brain as he tried to process the delicate touch on his face. His own hand reached up and plucked her fingers away from his skin, leaving bitter coldness where they once lay. He gripped her hand tightly as he swallowed, trying to work out what to say to this woman stood before him who had wanted to touch him despite everything.

“I can’t.” His words came out in a husky sigh. Dropping his eyes to his hand that still held on to her fingers.

“Yes, you can.” Her other hand was resting on his bicep, her palm flexing against the muscle that strained under his shirt. She looked at him expectantly, eyes never leaving his face even though he couldn’t bring himself to return the gaze.

“You don’t understand. I’m fighting a loosing battle. Every time we spend time with each other, I find myself more attracted to you, but with that attraction comes all the feelings that Cerberus conditioned me to feel. Anger, hatred, distaste, and I can’t break the cycle. I don’t want to feel those with you, so whatever you’re looking for from me, I _can’t_.” Kaidan laughed to himself. He was damaged goods, anyone with half a brain could see that and it meant that people left him well alone, just how he liked it.

This however, was unexpected and frightening. Something he hated to admit to himself, the great Kaidan Alenko, frightened of getting close to a woman. But he had good reason, sure Cerberus were not going to kill her or torture her to get a rise out of him at a crucial moment but the trauma of losing people that he cared about, that he had _loved_ , wasn’t going to leave him in a hurry. The best way to protect himself was to protect her, but he would be damned if she was going to see it that way or understand. He just wanted to get through a night without any awkwardness or anger, apparently, that was too much to ask.

“You’re right, you can’t.” Shepard pulled her hands away from him swiftly, the action jolting him to turn to her, frowning at her sudden coldness. She didn’t understand him, if he didn’t want anything from her, why had he repeatedly told her that he was attracted to her? Why say that and then come up with different reasons to hold her at arm’s length.

Sure, she had hesitated after their kiss but she was the CO and Alliance regs had been burned into he front of her brain since boot camp. But now, with their suicide mission creeping up on them, and the fact that the Alliance didn’t seem to care that she was still alive, she decided to throw caution to the wind.

And yet here he was, luring her in and then pushing her away. Any other man would have been kicked to the kerb long ago but Kaidan wasn’t doing it to be a stereotypical ‘treat em mean’ bastard, he was trapped by his past but no amount of reassurance from her seemed to be able to pull him away from it. After his admission tonight, that he was trapped by the negative feelings conditioned into him, she didn’t see that there was any way of changing his mind about her, about them.

“Abi,” He whispered after a moment, wanting to give her the hope that he desperately held onto that he could work past this.

“It’s fine.” She stepped back, wanting to give him space but realised too late that it looked like she was walking away from him after not getting what she wanted. Pulling up the interface on her omni-tool she let the warm orange glow distract her thoughts as she checked her messages, anything, to distract herself from the selfish wave of disappointment that crashed through her. She knew that this wasn’t his fault and she clung onto the hope that what he said meant that he didn’t just want to just use her as an easy lay, he cared enough to tell her no, even if he had spent their entire time together trying to get her to say yes.

“I need to take a walk, clear my head.” He said finally, pushing himself away from the table and from Shepard. He nodded at her smartly and turned to leave, snaking his way through the other tables until he was out of the door and finally out of sight. Shepard sat back down, picking up the chopsticks and pushing the noodles around in her bowl again, her chin resting on the heel of her hand as she tried to work out just what the fuck was going on.

Kaidan had just got out of the door when he felt a thousand needles puncturing his skin, like a wave as pinpricks unsettled his nerves and he felt his Biotics clamouring just under his control. He turned to the shadows offered by the large sign of the noodle booth and watched as Miranda stepped out. He rolled his eyes and made to walk away from her but he stopped as he felt the slightest manifestation of a Pull going through him.

Growling he turned to face her and marched in her direction, his hand raised and an accusatory finger pointing at her. A Blue glow glazed his form as his frustration caused his control to waver, annoyed by her presence and whatever they hell she wanted with him.

“Yes?” He snarled at her, jabbing her in the shoulder as he stared her down. His chest was heaving as he tried to refrain for yelling at her. This Cerberus cheerleader, the voice of his enemy that he was supposed to play nice with was just about to tip him over the edge.

“I found more information for you, something that the Illusive Man had tried to hide even from me. He knows I’m good, but he still underestimated me.” Miranda was calm as ever, unflustered even with an angry Biotic inches from her face. She watched him, assessing his expression as she offered a datapad to him by pressing it into his chest.

Kaidan looked down, the pressure he was applying to Miranda’s shoulder slipped as the hand went to take the metal framed orange screen from her gloved hand. She folded her arms as he studied the words, waiting for the reaction that she was expecting. When his eyebrows raised she smiled to herself, there it was. He had just found the part that might get him to sort himself the hell out.

He looked up quickly at her, the question of ‘is this real’ passed unspoken between them and she nodded slowly at him. He frowned, this had to be bullshit, all of it. It had to be planted, placed somewhere Miranda could find it so that she would feed it to him, ensuring that he kept on the straight and narrow until his usefulness was over. That’s how it always worked with these types.

“The facility is still there, overrun by nature now, but it is accessible. I think that you need to sort out whatever it is that’s going on in that pretty head of yours before you fuck over this mission and Shepard.” She still stood there, emotionless as she waited, he could still feel the slight prickle of her Biotics as he assessed her words.

Kaidan felt annoyance rise in his chest again, Miranda’s accent always seemed to drip with sarcasm and pleasure at his discomfort. Fuck knows why someone like Shepard would give her the time of day but then maybe she had to, considering this was the person who had spent two years putting her back together again.

“Does Shepard know?” He asked, voice unsteady as he weighed up his options. He felt torn between wanting to forget everything he had just read, telling Shepard everything in the datapad, and sneaking off to blow the whole thing up.

“I haven’t informed her, no. She requested that any new information that might be of interest to you was sent straight to you.”

“Thank you.” The words seemed foreign to him, struggling to be spoken when concerned with this woman. But he knew that he should be grateful that she had continued looking for more data, even if it had been at Shepards request. She nodded at him and turned on her heel, walking back to the transit hub, her heels clicking on the metal street as she strode away from him.

His eyes followed her as she walked, if it were anyone else that suit would have made him want to press more than a finger against them. But, even with the figure-hugging jumpsuit she insisted on wearing that left little to the imagination, despite covering her from her feet to her neckline, her loyalty was plain to see with the Cerberus logs that anointed it.

Where others were trying to put their tongues back in their heads Kaidan realised that he was sneering in disgust. He hated that he was taking favours from an enemy, almost as much as he hated the fact that the reason he was out of Cryo was due to Cerberus blood money. Almost as much as he hated that the ship he was having to travel on until god knows when was dripping with Cerberus colours. And then there was Shepard.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as the grip on the datapad tightened. He wanted to tell her, to let her know about the facility, show her that there was a very real reason why he couldn’t let go of his neuroses. But she worked for the very thing he hated. He knew that she had told him that she was just using the resources and ‘blah blah blah’ but she still walked around in their BDU’s, still commanded the ship flying their colours. The line between black and white was getting blurry, he wasn’t sure how to deal with the grey he found himself in.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and flared, spinning around to find himself face to face with the woman he was agonising over. She looked hurt and dare he say, scared as she flinched away. He fumbled for her hands, dropping the datapad onto the metal path before pulling her to him.

“Abi, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He whispered like a mantra. pushing her head into his shoulder as he begged for her forgiveness.

“Kaidan, it’s fine.” She murmured trying to squirm away, unsure what to make of his sudden closeness. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” Once she finally got free of his grasp she scooped up the dinged datapad, hitting it smartly against her palm to get the screen to jolt back to life. Her eyes skimmed over what was presented to her as she took note of Kaidan shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

“I ran into Miranda. She told me that you asked her to pass along anything new, and well, this is new.” He offered, gesturing at the pad in her hands. She looked at him briefly before turning back to reading. Frowning as the details became apparent.

“Ok, we need to talk about this.” She said finally. Slipping into Commander mode, her words coming out unmistakeably as an order.

His Alliance training got the better of him as he mumbled a ‘yes ma’am’ towards her back as she made her way over to the transit hub that Miranda had not that long ago used herself.

The cab ride was silent, Shepard was reading as Kaidan stared out of the window. Her face kept the frown she had made when she first looked at the document, occasionally becoming harder when she read something particularly distasteful or confusing. She never once questioned it though, preferring to read it fully and then piece it together with what she had already learnt. If there were any gaps or inconsistencies, that would be the moment to ask, not before.

Making their way inside, she was still silent. Pausing her reading to pull out an actual pencil and paper from a drawer in the sideboard that graced the short hallway, before dropping onto a barstool in the kitchen. Kaidan hovered, unsure if he should leave her to it or stay and watch her read his history, she pulled out the other stool and made a motion for him to sit. The last time he felt this uncomfortable he was about to be questioned about why he was the sole survivor from Akuze.

The pencil gracefully moved across the page, Kaidan took the opportunity to focus on that rather than dwell on what she might be thinking or what she might say or ask. He watched her write, noting how her cursive handwriting flowed, elegant yet easily readable. Gentle but to the point, much like her, he mused. He felt himself waiting for her validation, confirming to him that he wasn’t this conflicted and cautious without good reason.

“Kaidan,” She said finally, placing the datapad down gently on the countertop. “Your friends were not tortured to provoke you; they were experimented on to ensure that whatever Cerberus was working on didn’t _kill_ you.”

He almost choked as he swallowed hard at her words. Pulling the datapad and her notes to him, he skimmed over what she had written, seeing names of his former friends and more than friends listed like commodities. Their causes of death, document page numbers, notes on what experiments happened to who and how they correlated to certain things that had been surgically altered in him.

“That’s a fucking lie. I was there, I saw what they did. No bullshit in a made-up report can change that.” He balled his hands into fists, struggling to control his anger over the lies being peddled after all this time. Struggling to control the reaction that Cerberus was still able to get out of him after all this time.

“We could go there, if you want, try and see if we can find any more information. Maybe get you some closure.”

Kaidan paused, the anger abating as she spoke. He hadn’t even thought about going there and now that it had been suggested, he wasn’t sure if he could.

“That place is the breeding ground of nightmares, Shepard. Death, destruction, pain, anguish and a whole host of things that people shouldn’t experience on a daily basis,” He exhaled slowly, trying to keep the memories down. “You really want to risk me having a breakdown before our suicide mission?”

“Kaidan,” She softened, sliding a hand across the counter at him until her fingertips met his. “In a few weeks we could either be dead or trapped with no way of getting home. Can you honestly say that you wouldn’t regret finding out the truth of what happened to you, what they did?”

“Honestly?” He offered, hesitating slightly and pulling his hand away from hers before moving it back to make contact again. “I don’t know if I want to blow it the fuck up or run away from it forever.” He smiled to himself, being able to articulate exactly how he felt was strangely refreshing. Maybe it was easier now because he wasn’t having to keep up appearances with Shepard, she was well aware of who he was and what he was capable of.

“If blowing it up is what you need to do then we will do it.” Her fingers slipped over his, resting there waiting for him to skitter away like last time. He looked at where their hands rested, he wanted to turn his hand over, to hold hers but until he sorted his head out, that was out of the question.

“Maybe, when could we go though? It’s not exactly close.”

He could see she was thinking, working out what was going on in their schedule as they tried to tie up all their loose ends before going through the Omega 4 Relay. She patted his hand suddenly and squeezed his fingers before pulling away and bringing up her omni-tool. “I need to go to Illium to pick up two more for the once in a lifetime journey. We can make a little detour for you once we have them. Just need to sort something out for Garrus here and then we’re on our way.”

“Oh?” He realised the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Something about the mention of Shepard doing something for Garrus caused an unexpected pang in his chest. He knew that they had a history between them that stretched back longer than the ones he had with her, but he still felt annoyed that the Turian was such a priority for her.

“Yeah, I was going to bring you along so you might as well know about it now. It’s an old Merc friend of his who ratted them out. Resulted in ten men dying, Garrus hunted him down and now wants revenge.” She was so casual about it Kaidan blinked and shook his head, trying to organise the questions that started looping around at the information he had just been given. She shut down the screen for her omni-tool and folded her arms on the counter in front of her, waiting for the inevitable questions.

“So, you were _actually_ exchanging information yesterday?” Kaidan mused, feeling stupid for his jealous accusations that he had thrown at the pair of them.

“Yes, Kaidan. Whatever you saw was what you were expected to see, along with every other person on the strip who happened to glance our way.” Shepard tried and failed to suppress a laugh as he rolled his eyes and frowned at her.

“And what information were you exchanging then?” He leant his elbows on the counter and rested his chin on his interlaced fingers, staring at nothing in particular but ready to take in whatever information she decided to tell him.

“We need to find a contact that goes by the name of ‘Fade’. They have apparently got a knack of getting people to disappear and they know C-Sec systems inside out. This person has info on where the ex-Merc is. We find Fade, we find the traitor.” Shepard shrugged her shoulders, confirming to herself as much as him that was all she knew.

Kaidan stayed staring at the wall, thinking. This seemed like a type of mission that he revelled in. Revenge, it usually meant carnage and that was what he was good at but usually he did these types of things on his own, where he could let go, be reckless and uncaring about the consequences to him or anyone else. He wasn’t sure how he felt about having Shepard witnessing that or putting her in danger because of it. Suddenly everything that made him strong was threatening to make him weak.

“Garrus seems too laid back to require and eye for an eye, that’s more my style.” His hands drifted down to the datapad that was still on the counter in front of him, toying with the dull grey metal casing. He turned slightly to look at Shepard, trying to work out what she was expecting from him if she brought him on the mission.

“Garrus, well… Garrus is Garrus. If you ask Joker for his opinion, he thinks Garrus finally worked the stick out of his ass from the last time he was with us on the Normandy, but now he’s trying to beat guys to death with it.” She grinned to herself, thinking about the observant and blunt critiques that Joker often gave her about the crew when she found herself sat in the co-pilot chair late at night.

Kaidan was puzzled, wondering what she was grinning about, what memories had brought that reaction to her. Obviously, it was something that he wasn’t privy to, a secret shared between herself and the pilot. He decided to leave her with the memory and try and focus on his new role tomorrow. “And you decided to bring me along to hold the bad guys still as he beats them with this stick?”

“I mean, I could hold the bad guys. I want you there as we have a rhythm, when you get a good ground team there’s no point in breaking it up.” Shepard hoped that he would hear the sincerity in her words. They had an amazing rhythm, on the battlefield they could ebb and flow from each other, capitalising on each other’s strengths and covering their weaknesses. She had certainly never worked with another Marine like that, let alone another Biotic. A small part of her wondered if Kaidan’s dossier had been passed to her because the Illusive Man knew that he was capable of pulling more than just this off.

“Shepard,” He started, his voice cracking as he felt heat rising out of the collar of his shirt, he wasn’t used to compliments, and if he did receive them, it was usually because something was required in return.

She smiled slyly at him, acknowledging his sudden awkwardness. Watching as he tugged at his collar, apparently too tight even though the top three buttons were undone. A rosy hue was blooming across the skin of his chest, contrasting against the black of his tattoos as it travelled upwards. She watched him swallow hard, squirming now under her gaze as she turned to face him fully.

“You know, once you get past the upper layers of bastard you have perfected, you’re quite adorable.” She smirked as she sensed him flailing at her words. Uncomfortable with the flattery and the label she had just presented him with.

“I can go back to being a bastard quite easily.” He challenged, tipping his head towards her and raising his eyebrows.

“Don’t I know it. That temper of yours is something else.” The teasing left her eyes as she thought about the last time they were in this apartment together, and how he had used his words to twist the knife that was already in her heart since waking up in a Cerberus lab.

“Yeah well, unfortunately there’s still plenty more bastard to go from under that top layer.” Fuck he wished he had a beer or something to occupy his hands and mouth. Something to stop himself from saying something that put them back to square one.

Shepard just hummed in acknowledgement, not wanting to disappear down that particular rabbit hole, not tonight when there was a lot riding on tomorrow. She called up the time on her omni-tool, realising that she only had seven hours until she needed to be at the Normandy. She leaned forward slightly and pushed herself off the stool and stretching. Kaidan watched her, not sure if he should follow her or wait until she was out of sight. 

“Bed?” She asked as she realised that he wasn’t making a move too.

“I was going to crash out on the sofa in a minute.” He tapped the datapad in front of him, trying to give himself a way out if he needed it.

“Bunk with me tonight, I need you on top form tomorrow, not aching and still tired.” Shepard folded her arms, pinning him with her eyes, just like she had done on Purgatory.

“Alright,” Kaidan shrugged nonchalantly, a feat in itself considering he was about to find himself in his CO’s bed for the second time in two nights.


	7. Eye for an Eye

His brain stirred him lightly from his dreams, presenting him with a feeling that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Kaidan sighed lightly and tried to focus on it, this warm feeling that told him that his sleep had been restful. Hunkering down slightly under the covers he felt movement, his eyes slowly opened as he tried to gently piece together where he was and what was going on.

The movement came again, this time he was aware that it was the result of an arm cradling him tighter as its owner snuggled towards the warmth that he was providing. He turned his head slightly and saw Shepard, blissful in her sleep, an arm laid over him and clutching at his waist. He watched her as she slept, her eyelashes gently fluttering against her cheeks as she existed in whatever dreamland that she had concocted.

Kaidan realised that he felt content. He had woken up feeling that everything was alright, the woman that he was insanely attracted to was there lying close to him, holding him, and for once he hadn’t felt the lingering dread that having someone that close usually brought.

Bending his head down, he kissed her hair gently, shifting slightly so that he could return her embrace and hopefully not wake her so that he could enjoy this for as long as he could. The dream was shattered when Shepard grunted lightly and started to stretch out.

She stopped mid-stretch, realising that she was pressed up against something in bed. With bleary eyes she tried to focus on whatever the object was and met a whisky coloured gaze. Swallowing hard, she tried to squeak out some pleasantries as Kaidan started to smirk at her awkwardness. Why the hell was he so cocky this morning? Detangling herself from him, she scooted back to what should have been her side of the bed and slipped out from under the covers.

“Sorry, I’m just used to having the whole bed to myself so I kinda spread out.”

“I wasn’t complaining.” He replied, voice still husky from sleep.

Shepard opened her omni-tool, while she was glad for some distraction she needed to check the time to make sure that they hadn’t overslept as the crew were expecting to be given their orders at 0500 to ensure that their departure to Illium was without hiccup.

“Time for me to get prepared, need to be at the Normandy soon.” she shrugged as she pulled some clean BDU’s out from the bag she had brought with her.

“Should I come with you or wait somewhere for you and Garrus to turn up?” Kaidan had sat up, the cover pooled at his waist as he stretched his arms over his head and cricked his neck. He was smiling lightly, as though he knew that he was giving her a show.

“I need you to come with me, Garrus is going to be there with the rese of the crew and then we can all set off together to the warehouse that Bailey suggested.”

He threw the cover back and stepped out of the bed, running a hand through his hair and chucking his shirt over one shoulder. Grabbing his boots and harness, he made his way over to the door. He knew that Shepard was fidgeting over her need to get dressed, feeling unable to while he was still there and while he might have been a bastard, he wasn’t a total bastard to make her feel uncomfortable.

“I’ll get some coffee going. See you in five.”

When she stepped out a few minutes later, she had showered and dressed with military efficiency. No chance for a Hollywood shower today, even in her own apartment where water usage wasn’t an issue, musing that maybe next time they are here she’ll make the most of it but today was just not that day.

She grabbed a mug and slopped coffee into it, if it ended up in the Normandy’s galley then so be it. Mugs had a habit of going walkies anyway, so another one would be a boon considering most of the crew survived on caffeine. Tapping quickly on her omni-tool the door swished open and she tugged her back higher on her shoulder as she waited for Kaidan to go through.

He dropped off the bar stool and grabbed his own bag from by the sofa. Pulling it onto his shoulder with a shrug he clipped his shotgun to the back of his belt as he stepped lithely past her into the hallway. As he was tugging at the collar of his shirt Shepard noticed that the playfulness from earlier had dissipated, she hoped that it didn’t signify another unexpected mood swing.

“So,” She asked, giving him a tentative smile as she locked the door behind them. “How’s the lip?”

“Seems fine.” His fingers went up to touch where the wound had been, the medi-gel had worked it’s magic and the split had healed.

“Good, although I am still sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, I deserved it.”

Shepard sighed to herself, talking to him currently was like getting blood out of a stone. She hoped that this wasn’t going to carry on into the mission because if this fucked things up for Garrus she might have to kill Kaidan before the Turian did.

Calling a skycar, the journey back to the docking bay was silent. Kaidan resumed looking out of the window just as he had done before and Shepard was checking the duty roster on her omni-tool. Miranda had set almost everything up, she just needed Shepard to giver her approval in person so they could start the preparations to leave later on tonight.

She knew that she could have left it up to Miranda but that niggling feeling of not trusting Cerberus made her want to double check everything that Miranda and to some extent Jacob did. Shepard had warmed slightly to the pair, Jacob had been honest with her over his unease over Cerberus despite being employed by them and Miranda had done as she had been asked and came up with the goods for Kaidan. But there was still a doubt, neither of them professed any loyalty to her, just to the Illusive Man, and that bothered her considering what their final mission was.

“Thoughts?” Kaidan asked gruffly as he turned away from the window. He was glaring at her slightly and had folded his arms over his chest.

“Just thinking about trusting Cerberus on the Suicide Mission.” She pursed her lips slightly, she didn’t want to go into detail about how she didn’t trust Miranda and Jacob fully, especially considering the last time all four of them had been in a room together the atmosphere was less than pleasant.

“You can’t trust Cerberus as far as you can throw them, Shepard. How many times do you need reminding?” He sneered at her, unable to understand how she could contemplate trusting them at all.

“You know that Cerberus started as an Alliance Op that went rogue?” Shepard pinned him with a stare, waiting for him to connect the dots.

“And I care fuck all about them too, what’s your point, _Ma’am_.”

Shepard didn’t rise to the bait, keeping her eyes locked on his she remained emotionless as he glared at her.

“If the Alliance can have a group go rogue, why can’t Cerberus too? Why can’t there be trustworthy people and groups in there?”

“You’re really asking me that?” Kaidan leaned forward, practically spitting the words at her. How could she ask _him_ of all people if he thought that Cerberus was _good_ on the whole? Has she not just read the night before how they had fucked up his life and killed countless people just because they wanted to get a result?

“Yes, I’m really asking you that? You said they tortured you, but they painstakingly rebuilt me. Why the difference if there’s not something trustworthy somewhere in there?”

Kaidan dropped back to the window, he could see the dock coming up and was secretly thankful that this conversation would be over sooner than later. He could feel Shepard staring at him, felt her Biotics push against his as she waited for an answer.

“The last time I gave you my thoughts on Cerberus, you punched me. So, I’d ask someone else if I were you.”

He felt a sudden tug as she pulled her Biotics back into herself, leaving him feeling like he was sat in a vacuum. He shook his head slightly, annoyed at how she had Biotically pulled away from him because he hadn’t given her the answer she was wanting to hear.

As the skycar touched down in the transit hub Kaidan groaned inwardly as he saw Miranda waltz up to meet them, datapad in hand. She looked pristine as always, as though she had been up for hours already and that just served to piss him off even more. Unlatching the door, Kaidan slunk out and waited for Shepard to exit, offering to take her bag for her like a good crew member. She raised an eyebrow at the gesture, but instead of giving him her bag she took his hand and leaned on him.

“I was going to take your bag, Commander.” He smirked as the realisation dawned on her face, a rosy bloom spreading out from the collar of her BDU’s.

“I guess I’m too used to Garrus giving me a hand up into the Kodiak. Speaking of Garrus…” She turned to Miranda who was waiting patiently for her so she could start the debrief.

“Garrus is waiting for you in the Bridge with Joker. I will run through the service requirements for our departure while we walk.” Miranda tapped at her datapad and looked expectantly at Shepards arm, smiling lightly when an orange glow signified that the message had been received on her omni-tool. She turned and fell into step with Shepard going through the roster, supplies required and travel times to pick up the remaining recruits from the dossiers. Kaidan dropped back, feeling out of place again as the Cerberus Cheerleader took over.

* * *

Thanking Miranda and dismissing her, Shepard turned to the Bridge to find Garrus and Joker. She smiled to herself as she overheard them reminiscing about the old Normandy and the old crew.

“Commander Shepard _is_ aboard Mr. Moreau.” EDI announced as Shepard approached. Causing the two men to turn around and face her, the conversation suddenly halted.

“About time Commander, I was just about to retell the story of when I had to try and fit the Normandy into a volcano to rescue you.”

“Don’t let me stop you Joker, it’s a good one to tell.”

“Still waiting for my medal by the way, not that I’m complaining of course.”

“Of course not.” Garrus laughed and slapped the back of the pilot’s chair. He motioned for Shepard to lead the way so that they could begin their hunt for Fade sooner rather than later.

Shepard walked down to the elevator, nodding at Kaidan as she went past the airlock. He had lingered there, waiting for direction, shuffling uncomfortably as he overheard the casual conversation between the three of them. He had chided himself as annoyance rose in his chest as he listened to them. Shepard seemed to have completely forgotten he was even there in the space of getting out of the Skycar and Miranda getting her claws into her. He shouldn’t even care, he prided himself on being better off alone anyway but he hated more that he wanted her to notice him, to be aware that he was around.

Once in the elevator, Shepard turned to them both, hands behind her back as she transitioned seamlessly into Commander mode, informing them to ensure that their gear was stowed and then to armour up and meet her at the airlock in ten. Bailey had given her some more information about where Fade should be operating out of and they had a target.

Garrus grinned, mandibles flaring as his bright blue eyes darkened at the news. “I’ll be there in five.” He said lowly as he stepped out onto the crew deck. Disappearing out of view as he made his way to the Main Battery.

“Are you good to go or do you need the full ten?” Shepard asked Kaidan as the doors closed again. She turned to face him, waiting for his reply.

“I just need to ditch my bag and then I’m ready. No fussing from me.” He shrugged, not making eye contact with her.

“EDI, hold the elevator.” Shepard barked at the ceiling.

“Yes, Commander.” Came the almost instantaneous reply from the AI as the elevator juddered gently to a halt.

“Are you putting up more layers of bastard for a reason, Alenko?”

“Nope,” He replied, calmly as he could.

“Then what is with the attitude?” She stepped forward, glaring at him. He felt her flare as quickly as it was gone but took a step back from her out of surprise more than fear.

Breathing in steadily, he weighed up what he should say to her. She had made it perfectly clear before that there should be a professional distance between them, even though neither of them actually wanted that. So he did the only thing he knew how, start putting up walls to keep everyone out.

“This is me, remember, I’m the ship’s asshole. Why do I get the impression that you think I should be a ‘changed man’ for some reason?” He stepped forward again, the unmistakeable blue of his Biotics swirling in his eyes as he fixed them on Shepard.

“There’s being sour because that’s just who you are and there’s giving me shit because you feel like it. I’m your CO regardless of anything else that has transpired, it would pay you to show me a little respect.”

“I’m not giving you shit,” He laughed at her, shaking his head. “if you want me to, however, I can.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?--” Shepard started to reply before Kaidan cut her off, jabbing her in the shoulder with his finger.

“You read my files, all of them, you know _exactly_ what is wrong with me! If you don’t like it or can’t deal with it then just do what everyone else has done and cut me loose!”

“Get a grip Kaidan!” Shepard retaliated, grabbing his wrist and throwing off his hand. “This isn’t just about you!”

“Yet apparently it’s _always_ about me. About me doing my job, about my history, about my _attitude_. For something that’s not just about me it sure is a hell of a lot.”

They glared at each other, angry that the other couldn’t or wouldn’t see their point of view. Angry that this cycle of hot and cold was still continuing between them. Neither wanting to back down and the standoff drawing out.

Kaidan inhaled sharply, studying her face as anger and barely controlled Biotics flickered across it. The enclosed space of the elevator amplifying the tension that swirled between them, a claustrophobic sensation that Kaidan knew would be the death of them if something didn’t break the mood. Closing his eyes, he allowed his heart to rule his head and closed the gap between them, crushing Shepards lips with his own as he pulled her to him. He felt her soften slightly under his embrace before she stiffened and pulled back, tearing them apart.

“What are you doing?” She hissed at him, grasping his arms to stand him down.

“Breaking this tension that’s going on between us.” Kaidan’s voice dipped low and Shepard watched his eyes darken, the unspoken reason for the tension evident in them.

“I can’t,” Shepard pleaded, more for her benefit than his. “ _We_ can’t.”

He stepped back, mouth set in a grim line as she knocked him back again. This morning he had woken up with her in his arms and now _she_ was telling him that she couldn’t. He had exhausted himself trying to keep his attraction to her at arm’s length and now that he had succumbed to it, she was pushing him away.

“That’s my line.” He almost growled in frustration.

“Yeah, well, it seemed like you forgot it.” Shepard turned away, raising her chin up to direct her voice to the comms system nestled in the ceiling. “EDI, resume.”

The elevator silently continued its ascension to her quarters. Shepard could hear Kaidan shuffling about behind her, feel his Biotics tumble about as he tried to get control over the rapidly changing emotions that washed over him. If they could just get past _this_ then they could focus on the mission at hand, who knows, afterwards then they could explore what this was but as she had decided and told him before, the mission came first.

The doors silently opened to the short hallway that spanned before the door to her cabin. Shepard stepped out and turned slightly, confused as to why Kaidan hadn’t made a move.

“You can dump your bag here and then we can go to the Armory before setting off.” Trying to regain the crewmanship she hoped they would be able to maintain, she cocked her head slightly, raising an eyebrow when he still remained firmly at the back of the elevator.

“I’ll meet you there.” He replied thickly, quickly waving his hand to select the engineering deck before she could try and change his mind or join him.

The doors clamped closed swiftly much to his relief. Dumping his bag on the ground and kicking it at the wall he had hoped that it would relieve some of the annoyance and frustration that was burning him up but the soft thud only made it worse. Balling up his fist he let loose at the wall, yelling out his anger as his knuckles connected to the metal.

Blood trickled down his fingers from the split skin. His hand hurt like hell and upon attempting to flex his fingers he was sure that he had broken or dislocated something. He growled in frustration, not caring that the AI was probably recording it all, ready to send to Shepard to alert her about how _unstable_ he seemed.

“Fuck this!” He yelled at nothing in particular. He was sick and tired already of how being here was screwing up the carefully constructed life he had created for himself, and to top it off it was again down to Cerberus. Their stupid suicide mission had brought him here and into contact with their agents who were doing their best to fuck everything up for him, _break him_ for their gain, again.

The doors opened on the engineering deck and it took Kaidan a few moments to realise that he needed to get out. Shouldering his bag and wiping off as much blood as he could on his shirt he scurried down to the depths where his cot was located.

The dim light and quiet hum from the engine brought some solace, he could pretend that no one else existed here and that was going to be just fine with him. He thought that he should just get EDI to tell Shepard that he wasn’t going to be joining them, tell her to take Jacob instead but a pang of jealousy struck him at the thought of someone else working with her they way he did. He leaned forward over a crate, unsure what to do when the smallest sound of static announced that the AI was about to address him.

“Mr. Alenko, Commander Shepard has requested your immediate attendance in the Armory.”

“Tell her to fuck off. I’m not going.” He spat out the words before he could think, screwing his eyes shut as he winced at her probably reaction to his outburst. EDI took the opportunity to remind him that she wasn’t just some VI created to relay messages.

“Kaidan, I will relay that message if that is what you wish, I would however advise caution. The Commander seemed anxious that you join her, regardless of any prior discussions that occurred.”

Kaidan sighed, exhaling deeply as he composed himself. He knew that any other time, he would just do the job and ignore anything else. He needed to do that here, get this mission done for Garrus and then he could ignore everyone until he was needed to do his job again.

“Tell her I will be there.”

* * *

“This is it, Fade is in here.” Garrus whispered to Shepard over the open comm between the three of them. Kaidan looked over to him and was met with Garrus nodding lightly. He stepped up to the door and activated the lock before moving swiftly to the side to let the other two head in first. He hung back, checking their rear to ensure that they were not surprised on their six.

“Fade?” Shepard asked with a disbelieving tone as she looked down at the Volus in front of them. Garrus had his assault rifle out and pointed it between the two Krogan bodyguards that were present.

“Looks can be deceiving, Earthclan. How can I help you?” The Volus replied, his helmet clicking with each breath he took.

“You’re Fade?” Kaidan asked, his tone disbelieving. He had met a lot of underground players but even this seemed farfetched. He looked around at the exits as he waited for an answer, expecting something to happen.

“That is correct, I am Fade, a specialist at making people disappear, so which one of you needs to dissapear?”

Garrus looked at Shepard, his mandibles twitching as he tried to work out what to do. Shepard shrugged at him and turned back to the Volus, dropping to one knee to address him.

“I’d rather you to made someone reappear.”

“That’s not the service we provide.” He started to reply before Garrus levelled his gun at him.

“How about you make an exception? Just this once.”

Fade turned to his bodyguards who had started backing up. “That’s not what I pay you for! Shoot them!” He squealed at them as they retreated into the back room.

“You don’t pay us to die either.”

Fade turned back to the group, his eyes meeting the muzzle of the gun Garrus had fixed on him. The exhale he let out, amplified by his suit as the click announced his resignation.

“No, and I don’t get paid for this either, look, I’m not Fade, I just work for him but I can fix you up a meeting with him. Maybe you can use you persuasion tricks on him directly and I can disappear before he knows who set him up?” The Volus blinked steadily, trying to keep calm as he bargained for his life.

“Do it.” Shepard replied crisply. Standing back up as she motioned for him to get to work setting up a meeting. She listened as the Volus contacted Fade and arranged a time and a place to see him.

“The old prefab warehouse is where he will meet you, he’s waiting now.”

“Good,” Garrus purred, his voice dripping with malice. “If however, we don’t find him. We will be back for you.”

The Volus swallowed hard, the repeated clicking of his suit betraying his rapid breathing despite the calm exterior he was trying to portray. He didn’t reply, jut nodded once before scuttling backwards as quickly as his short legs would carry him.

Garrus marched out, stowing his gun before making it out on the main ward concourse. The group headed swiftly to the transit hub and hailed a cab over to the warehouse. Kaidan sat up front as Garrus and Shepard got into the back.

“So, we’re almost there, how do you feel?” She asked tentatively as Garrus fidgeted in his seat.

“Honestly,” He turned to Shepard from the window and fixed her with his bright blue eyes. “I feel that I am close to being able to finally get some closure to all those families that he stole someone from.”

“And what about you?”

“Me?” Garrus scoffed, the question taking him by surprise. “I feel like I’m ready to take out a criminal, a murderer.”

Shepard pursed her lips as he turned back to the window. She knew that he could be like a dog with a bone, she had seen it before with Dr. Saleon but she had hoped that the result of that particular mission would have got him to understand that revenge isn’t always the best way. His reaction, hover, made her doubt it.

The skycar touched down and the three got out as their greeting party made their way through the door.

“Harkin?” Garrus baulked as the two men shred a brief flicker of surprise at seeing each other.

Harkin started panicking like a cornered animal as Garrus and Shepard both advanced on him.

“Don’t just stand there! Stop them!” He barked at the two Mercs he had brought with him, ushering them forward so that he would run back into the factory.

“Run all you want Harkin! We _will_ find you!” Garrus seethed as he ducked behind a crate as the bullets started flying around them.

Kaidan and Shepard barrelled to the side. Just like before, the issues between them melting away now that guns were being drawn.

Garrus popped out to drill some bullets from his assault rifle into one of them while Shepard motioned for Kaidan to shockwave in their direction, ducking down and holding onto his waist as he combined their power and threw it forward. Sneaking a glance around the crate Shepard watched as they rag dolled from the impact, the power that hit them killing them instantly.

Stepping out from the crates they opened the door and entered the factory. There were piles of crate everywhere, glancing between them they knew that while the crates were going to give them somewhere to dick down and hide it was going to provide the same thing to whoever they came up against, and the Mercs had the home advantage.

Creeping forward, guns aimed in varying angles they tried to cover as much as they could. Rounding a low stack they were faced with two LOKI Mechs, the trilling coming from them surely announcing the intrusion to any others that were in the area.

Kaidan threw them instinctively, the power behind it plainly seen as his muscles rippled from the gesture of the attack.

“We’re being flanked!” Shepard yelled as Garrus swapped out for a sniper and took position behind a crate. Kaidan threw up a Barrier and dragged Shepard off to the side, chucking out a singularity to protect their nine.

“Force them into my sights, Shepard.” Garrus yelled over to them, reloading after taking the head off a Mech that came into sight.

“Think you can Pull all three?” She breathed at him, aware that there was a lone Merc also taking pot shots as he let the Mecs take the brunt of the gunfire. Yelling their tactics would render them useless, so whispering it was.

Kaidan nodded at her and focused on the gap as Shepard sent out another singularity to replace his as it flickered out. She turned to get her back to the crate as she grabbed hold of his hand in her left and took out her pistol, picking off one of the Mechs that had got itself entangled in her Singularity. She felt Kaidan step out and yank back like he was pulling and invisible line, the power flow between them making her feel almost lightheaded, she hadn’t even been ready for it, he had somehow just taken power from her to use. It was unsettling to say the least.

Three Mechs sailed helplessly overhead, insisting in the politest possible way that the intruders would need to be terminated. Garrus laughed off to the side as he took them out with one shot each, a pop of electronics exploding from impact followed by the reloading of his sniper.

The lone Merc seemed to be panicking as Shepard pointed Garrus to him silently. The Turian levelled the barrel towards him and waited for the Merc to make a mistake.

Shepard and Kaidan watched as the Merc stood up from behind the crate, put out by the silence, glancing around nervously. Garrus waited still, almost playing with him at this point until the Merc looked in their direction and then dropped lifelessly to the ground.

“You enjoyed that.” Shepard laughed slightly as Garrus stood up to join them. He was giving the Turian version of a grin at her words.

“I like to enjoy my job if I can.”

They rounded the corner, Kaidan bringing up the rear as they were greeted by another Merc positioned on a high vantage point behind a stack of crates. Shepard pressed forward, sliding up behind a low crate and hunkering down further to ensure that she wasn’t exposed. Kaidan stayed back with Garrus, the Merc was too far away to reach with his Biotics and his shotgun was useless at this range, so he had to rely on the sniper to his right.

Shepard pushed herself upright slightly, intending to send out a Throw to give them more time to get into a farm better position but as soon as she poked her head up high enough she was met with a hail of bullets from an assault rifle that knocked her backwards out of cover. Both Kaidan and Garrus watched as her shields depleted almost instantly and as she encased herself in a blue Barrier.

Kaidan was vaulting over crates, scrambling to pull her back as Garrus used the opportunity to headshot the Merc and vault over to where they were huddled as he reloaded. Garrus landed with a clunk beside them as his hardsuit connected heavily with the crate, he turned to Shepard wildly, ready to admonish her for her stupidity when the overhead lines jarred into life.

“They’re dropping in more Mechs,” She wheezed, annoyed with herself as she bit back the ache that the bullets had caused where they dented her armour.

“Alenko, trap them. Shepard, keep your damn head down!” The Turian roared, anger at how easily they had almost failed before they had really begun lacing his words. Kaidan just nodded and sent a Singularity sailing over to them, a smirk tugging the corner of his mouth as they instantly got caught up in it.

“Abi, can you Reave them?” He asked. He had looked first to Garrus to take them out but he was busy trying to disable the overhead lines. Shepard would have to pull out the big guns on this one.

“I reconfigured to Charge, haven’t changed it back. I can Warp them though.” Ignoring his use of her first name, she lifted her arm as she spoke, sending a curving ball of energy towards the dangling Mechs before dropping back into position, she didn’t even stay to watch them be blasted towards different sides of the warehouse.

“Why did you take Charge, of all things?” Kaidan berated her, if they were supposed to be working together how could they if she was going to be dashing off all over the place.

“I took it to test out with Jacob and I haven’t been to see Chakwas yet to alter it. Might come in handy still.”

Kaidan scowled at her, he had no idea what she was doing but it was fucking things up. She was unprepared for this mission it seemed and the one who would pay for it was going to be Garrus, her supposed best friend.

“Did you not think that should have been a priority?”

“How could I have made it a priority when I spent the time I had arguing with you!” She pushed him away from her and scrambled out from behind the crate, making her way over to Garrus with her gun raised to cover his six as he worked. They whispered something to each other, either keeping it off comms so he wouldn’t hear or forgetting that he was even there.

Sneering in their direction, Kaidan jumped over the crate and unclipped his shotgun from his belt and pressed forwards, if they wanted to go it alone for this then so would he. Passing where Shepard and Garrus had stood at the control panel he crept forward, slinking past a red storage container he was enveloped in a hail of bullets as two LOKI Mechs advanced on him.

Surging power forward to his Barrier he turned his shotgun to them and returned fire, knocking them down but not out. Releasing a Throw in their direction his shotgun clattered to the floor as he realised that his grip was next to non-existent in his left hand, glancing down the steady flow of blood running down his chest signified that they had managed to get through to him.

Shepard was on him almost immediately, the gunfire causing her to abandon aiding Garrus and rush to the commotion. She turned him to her, recognising the pain he was trying to hide from her as he flinched at the movement his shoulders were forced to make.

“Garrus! You’re the closest thing we have to a medic here!” She yelled over her shoulder but never taking her eyes from his. He felt stupid, getting caught like this. Not the greatest advert for his capabilities on his own.

Garrus scrambled over swearing under his breath, the lines overhead started up again but thankfully, absent of any grappling armatures. He was tugging some medi-gel from a compartment, double checking that it was the Human variety and was starting to tear it open when he saw the wound.

“That’s not great, Alenko. How much can you move?” His eyes were roving over the Biotics frame, trying to see if there was anywhere else that was injured and Kaidan hadn’t noticed due to the pain in his shoulder.

“Not much right now, just need to meds to bury the pain and I’ll be good to go.”

Garrus glanced quickly at Shepard but started digging around for the stim-pack that he carried. Shepard scowled and turned her attention to keep watch over them so they weren’t ambushed. 

“You’re a liability sometimes, Alenko.” Garrus softly chided, not realising how close to the mark his words were until Kaidan pulled away from him and snatched the pack from his hand.

“I’m well aware, thank you.”

“Look, I didn’t mean anything by it, just a turn of phrase as you Humans say.”

“Maybe don’t use phrases unless you know how to then?” Kaidan snapped back, unwilling to take the obvious apology that Garrus had given him. He leant against a stack of crates as he lined up the pack to his shoulder and pressed the button on the side. There was a hiss and a soft click as the meds were deployed, he looked at the pack before tossing it on the floor and rolling his shoulder gingerly.

“You good?” Shepard asked, looking quickly back at him before focusing again on the banks of crates around them.

“I’m always good.” He replied, nonchalantly, brushing past Garrus as he stood up.

“Right, because every second we are here, Harkin is either getting away or getting a head start on whatever shit he’s going to throw our way.” She was cold in her response, seemingly blaming him for the attack, when she knew that there was no way he could have known they were in there ready to shoot.

Garrus took point as the others held his six, Kaidan had stowed his shotgun and was just going to use his Biotics as it was less strain on his wound. Shepard had her pistol up in her right hand, ready to aid Kaiden if he needed it.

Pressing forward, they were ambushed by two Mercs and a smattering of LOKI Mechs. Kaidan Shockwaved the Mercs but they just staggered back before resuming their position.

“Fucking armour! Help me take them out!” He yelled towards Shepard as he ducked behind a crate to avoid the incoming gunfire and cradling his left arm to his chest.

“On it.” She shouted back, stepping out from the shipping container to curve a Warp into the closest Merc. He stumbled out of cover, crying out in surprise as his shields depleted and the coalescing Biotic energy started picking away at his health. She levelled her pistol at him and pulled the trigger, hitting him square in the chest.

The remaining Merc panicked over watching his teammate gurgle and flop forward, lifeless as he hit the concrete floor. Lunging for cover, a brief sound of radio static could be heard before two more LOKI Mechs trundled out of wherever they had been stationed. Shepard threw out a Singularity as she looked towards Kaidan from the corner of her eye, waiting for him to act. Cursing to herself as she watched the cooldown timer on her HUD, Shepard let out her Warp again at the dangling Mechs as she realised that Kaidan was unable to help.

Instructing Garrus over a private comm channel to take out the remaining Merc she skidded across the floor over the gap towards Kaidan, crawling the final distance behind the low crates until she was by his feet.

“Did you need Chakwas to take a look at you?” Shepard searched his eyes to try and find the truth, rather than allow him to tell her what he thought she wanted to hear.

“I’m fine,” He grunted, gingerly touching the wound. He was trying his hardest to avoid looking at her because he knew what she was going to tell him and being treated like a disappointment was not going to make matters any better.

She pushed him back slightly so she could stand upright next to him and tugged off a glove. She made a move to inspect the wound but silently asked for his permission by flicking her gaze to his, he nodded glumly and then turned away. The bullet had entered right under his collar bone, it hadn’t shattered it, but it must have been close and who knows where it was currently lodged.

“You think you can go on if you stick with me and we do our thing?” She spoke gently, not wanting to make him feel that he was out of the game. Especially when he prided himself so much on his combat ability.

“I think I can manage to touch you for the duration.” He smirked at her despite how he was feeling, grinning when she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Now isn’t the time, Kaidan.”

“No,” He exhaled, looking up to avoid eye contact. “It never is so let me just make the most of it.”

Shepard rolled her eyes but said nothing, just motioning for them both to move as the firefight going on behind them had finished.

“Looks like we are going over a bridge.” Garrus mused as he turned from the console he was stood at to get Shepard's approval to activate it.

“Wait, there’s some medi-gel here, Kaidan, sit down. This might sting a little.”

Kaidan propped himself up on the desk, frowning as Shepard approached him with the sachet. He was well aware that this was going to hurt like hell but if it worked, it worked.

Shepard double checked their sixes before tearing off the corner to the silver wrapper and squeezing some gel out on her ungloved fingers. Holding his other shoulder still she pushed the gel into the wound, flinching slightly as Kaidan yelled in her ear.

“Fuck! Fuck this shit!” He was desperately trying to pull away lest she shove more of that crap into him.

“Sit the fuck down, Alenko. This is nothing, try being spaced!” She snapped at him, fingers inadvertently digging into his good shoulder as he squirmed around, trying to pull him to her so she could get a look at if he needed more of the damn stuff.

“Yeah, well, you can tell me all about that later. Right now though this fucking hurts.” He turned to try and have a look, his forehead bumped into her visor causing them both to look up.

Shepard could see that he was in pain, but there was also a grim determination in the amber depths she found herself looking intently into. She saw his mouth tug upwards into a smile as his biotics washed over her, curling around her own. Her eyes flicked down to his mouth again before returning to his eyes and she heard him swallow hard.

“Shall we?” Garrus announced with a cough, motioning to the console.

With Kaidan distracted and looking over her shoulder she slapped some more medi-gel on him and skittered back as he yelled out again.

“What the fuck?”

“It’s for your own good. Let’s go, Alenko.” Shepard positioned herself next to the Turian as they waited for the ramp to lower and make the dash to cover.

* * *

It was a narrow walkway that had a smattering of crates and boxes to duck behind, ensuring that they could make their way further in relatively unscathed as they took out the remaining resistance with little effort.

“Big Mech, on our twelve!” Garrus yelled as the overhead cabling whirred into life and an armature appeared, cradling a YMIR Mech in its grasp.

Releasing it, the Mech slammed to the floor as more LOKI’s and Mercs swopped it, using it as cover. Shepard backed up as far as she could tugging Kaidan with her.

“Ready?” She whispered at him as he glared at her, still not entirely forgiving her from using Garrus as a distraction to shove more of that demon stuff at him.

“As we will ever be.” He dropped down and placed a hand on the back of her knee, his fingertips brushing ever so lightly against her thigh. If she was expecting him to be grinning about where he was touching her then she was about to be disappointed as she glanced down and saw only a battle-ready expression on his face.

The YMIR Mech lumbered towards where Garrus was holed up and set off a continuous stream of bullets in his direction. Shepard stepped out slightly and gathered their powers together into a Warp, grunting as she threw it out and into the side of the Mech. Her HUD told her that contact was successful and the armour had been stripped away in one shot. She had also drawn its attention away from Garrus and it powered up its main turret sending bullets and shrapnel raining down over the two Biotics as they hunkered down.

“Now’s the time, Garrus.” Shepard whispered over the comm as she looked at Kaidan. She moved to assess his shoulder without thinking and only stopped when she caught him frowning at her.

“It’s fine, better in fact, just leave it alone.”

Shepard shrugged and took a cautious glance over the crates, the Mech was still lumbering towards them but it was almost about to drop.

“We have to move!” She yelled, pulling Kaidan backwards just as a rocket slammed into the crate they had been hiding behind. She threw a barrier over them both as they slid over the next row of crates to seek refuge just as the Mech imploded.

“Who needs grenades.” Garrus jibed as he popped out of his hiding spot, mandibles flaring widely as he laughed, kicking some random LOKI parts out of the way as he moved out into the open.

“That was a little close for my liking.” She replied, unable to stifle the giggle that came out due to relief.

They came up to a door, unlocked and hesitated the Turian glancing at her and silently asking how she felt about this. Aside from the door frame, there was nothing to hide behind if they opened it and Mercs came flooding out. Shepard nodded, knowing that it was this or nothing and swiped her arm through the holo, stepping back quickly as the door released and slid to the side.

The room inside was narrow, with a few consoles and a lever situated behind what looked like blast windows. The light inside was a dim read, bathing everything in a blood like glow.

“What is Harkin up to?” Garrus mused to himself as he flicked through discarded piles of paperwork and datapads. “Forged ID’s here, Shepard.” He called out, tossing a datapad over to her.

“Interesting. Does he just have a stash of them prepared that he just hands out?” She glanced down at the pad before tucking it into the pouch harnessed to her right leg.

“Wouldn’t put it past him, he could just hack into C-Sec and add in any number of citizens that don’t exist, giving himself an unlimited supply of new identities for whoever gives him the credits he wants.”

“Shall we look out of the window?” Kaidan asked, leaning up against the window controls and nodding his head at the console.

“Do it.” Shepard agreed, gun raised in preparation.

The shield came up and they were left staring out over the last remaining section of the warehouse. Crates were littered everywhere, some stacked on platforms others just sprawling over the main floor. Another booth was accessible at the opposite end of the warehouse via ladders and Harkin was stood as clear as day in the opposite window, watching for them.

“Did you see that?” Garrus asked as both of them dropped out of sight from the window.

“I saw something.” Shepard mused, something was going on but she couldn’t work out what.

“He’s getting ready for us probably.” Kaidan added, nodding over to where Harkin was stood, silently watching.

“Lets go then.” Garrus stated, already making his way to the door.

On the floor, EDI connected through the comms to inform them that the crates that were being transported overhead had been rigged to explode when dropped. Looking up, they could see three cable lines pulling fragile looking crates to another destination in the warehouse. Harkin was apparently desperate enough to interfere with the business he was operating out of.

“Thanks EDI.” Shepard noted as she pulled a LOKI Mech over their heads and Kaidan peppered it with a shotgun cartridge.

Dealing with the three that were left as a welcoming party, Harkin started yelling at them over the internal comm.

“Why don’t you just turn around?” He declared, the words sounding more authoritative than his voice.

“Because I don’t want to.” Garrus replied, seething to himself as he slammed up against a crate to duck out of view from the three LOKI’s that Harkin dumped in front of them.

“Kaidan,” Shepard motioned at him to send out a Singularity. He paused for a fraction of a second and sent one out that managed to grab two of them. She responded with a Warp that detonated against the two Mechs, shattering them and knocking the third down. Kaidan stepped over and pushed the muzzle of his shotgun into its chest and pulled the trigger, ignoring the sparks that grazed his skin.

Moving closer, Harkin raised a platform, forcing them to climb up and over to have any hope of reaching him. Scrambling quickly to ensure that they weren’t too exposed, the intercom came on again with an increasingly desperate Harkin on the other end.

“Do you really think you can take me down, Shepard?!” He snapped, as Garrus made a strangled noise and backed up.

“Oh crap, two heavy Mechs, incoming!”

Shepard looked up, the crates above had been exchanged for armatures as they released their cargo and two YMIR’s powered up. Both of them started blasting the crates in front of them with their machine guns.

“Garrus, pull out the disruptor ammo. Kaidan, come with me and we will strip the armour.” Shepard scuttled along the row of crates, giving the Mechs two targets to deal with rather than one. Kaidan instinctively held on to her as she felt his power run through her nodes, watching the flare turn white as he gave her everything he had.

She pulled her arm back and launched a Warp at the closest Mech, trying to take some heat off Garrus. The machine paused fractionally, the sound of grating echoed around as it opened up to send a rocket their way. Shepard pushed herself and Kaidan flat on the floor, attempting to avoid being knocked out of cover and drilled with holes from the machine gun.

“Shields are down, time to get it.” Garrus announced, deciding to yell out the information, rather than use comms. Shepard deduced that it was for Harkins benefit more than anything.

“Headshot it! Make it explode and it might just take out the other one.” She yelled back. Scrambling back into position behind the crates.

“As long as you attend my funeral afterwards.” The Turian quipped as he leaned out of cover to line up the shot. The bullet hit its mark and the electronics surged through the downed YMIR. Garrus just made it back into cover as a rocket from the remaining one hit the crate to his side, completely destroying it.

The explosion took them by surprise, the heat surging overhead as they waited, listening, for the fate of the remaining heavy Mech to be apparent. Garrus shrugged and then froze as the heavy footsteps continued as the Mech made it’s way up the ramp to the sanctuary. Shepard glance at her HUD, scanning it for any information. The shields and armour were down. It was just a case of killing it before it killed them.

All three of them pulled out their weapons and unleashed, spreading out slightly so that the Mech had to chose where to focus. While their own shields took a battering, the Mech was outnumbered and outgunned. The ground team having to scramble away before it exploded, thankfully without the ferocity of the last one.

Making their way over to the ladder where they would reach Harkin, Shepard felt her shield deplete as she was shot at. Ducking for cover and activating her Barrier she gestured to the LOKI Mechs that had arrived on the platform above them, giving them a wide spread over the floor below.

“Shit.” Garrus exclaimed as he pulled out his assault rifle and clicked it to the correct setting.

Shepard could see on her HUD that he was out of sniper bullets, making a mental note that maybe if they got out of this in one piece, she could get Miranda to restock before they left. Now however, they were so close to Harkin that the seemingly never-ending deployment of Mechs was infuriating rather than debilitating.

Climbing up the stacks of crates and platforms they silently approached the open door where Harkin was hiding out. Shepard watched him press furiously at the console in front of him. Quickly scoping out the room she spotted a door on the opposite end and motioned for Garrus to move over the platform below to get to the other side and flank any retreat the ex C-Sec agent was going to make.

Stepping though the door with a barely contained Kaidan at her side she stifled a smirk as he flared intentionally. Harkin blanched before putting on more bravado.

“You were close,” He sneered at them as he made his predictable retreat. “But not close enough.”

Passing his hand through the holo on the other door he turned and found himself face to face with Garrus. The Turian brought up his rifle and slammed the butt of it into Harkins nose. Causing him to stagger backwards as blood gushed down his face.

Garrus strode forwards, his talons grabbing a fistful of Harkin’s shirt as he slammed him onto the back wall. Shepard and Kaidan flanked him, affording him no means of escape.

“So, Fade,” Garrus sneered. “Couldn’t make yourself disappear, huh?”

“Common Garrus, we can work this out, whaddaya need?” Harkin tried to appeal to him, putting on a show that was as fake as his ID’s.

Garrus let him go, turning from him as he battled with the option of putting a bullet through him right now. Shepard silently willed Garrus to make the right choice and let go of the breath that she didn’t realise she was holding when he spoke.

“I’m looking for someone.” He said lowly, turning back to see Harkin rolling his shoulders.

“Well, I guess we both have something the other one wants.” He replied cockily, a tone that both Kaidan and Shepard knew wasn’t going to sit well with Garrus.

The Turian shook his head and swiftly covered the ground back to Harkin who started to put his arms up in self defence. Garrus shook his head lightly and brought up his hardsuit covered knee straight into the mand groin and watched as he dropped to the floor in agony.

“We’re not here to ask favours, Harkin” Shepard intervened, as Garrus started pacing in frustration.

“You don’t say.” The Human snapped as he tried to steady his breathing and work through the pain.

Garrus stopped in front of the man and crouched down over him.

“You helped a friend of mine disappear, I need to find him.”

“I’m going to need a little more information than that.” Harkin spat, puling himself finally to his feet. Kaidan shifted slightly to his right, clicking buttons on his shotgun distractingly. Harkin stared at him and then checked the gun before bringing his attention back to Garrus.

“His name was Sidonis. Turian, came from the—”

“I know who he is,” Harkin interrupted, his pitch raising. “And I’m not telling you shit.” He folded his arms and stood his ground, feeling that he had the upper hand.

“Harkin this doesn’t have to be hard.” Shepard sighed as she took position on his left, allowing her Biotics to shimmer over the surface of her armour letting him know just what he was letting himself in for if he decided to play hard.

“Screw you, I don’t give out client information, it’s bad for business.” Harkin jeered, grimacing at her as she exhaled dramatically at his wrong answer.

Garrus threw him back against the wall and let him drop, “You know what else is bad for business?” He asked as he brought a boot down towards him, “A broken neck.”

Harkin fought to try and relieve the pressure being placed on him, but Garrus held firm.

“Alright, Alright!” He squealed, the lack of air getting to his lungs causing him to decide playing hard was going to end up with him dead very easily. “Get off me!”

Garrus kept up the pressure, listening to Harkin choking on the floor. Kaidan glanced at Shepard who stepped up to pull Garrus away before his hatred for the man denied him the very thing they were here for.

Gasping for air, Harkin sat up against the wall.

“Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus.” Harkin croaked before spitting on the floor near the Turians boot.

“No, but Sidonis, lets say he opened my eyes.” Crouching down again, he levels his eyes with Harkin and leaned forward slightly, “Now arrange a meeting.” He whispered low enough that the risk of what would happen if he didn’t was apparent. He cocked his head towards the console and stood up, waiting.

Harkin clambered to his feet, his actions clumsy as his muscles protested at any further movement. He hesitated, turning back to Garrus who simply cocked his head towards the console again.

“I’m going.”

Harkin set up the meeting and turned back to Garrus. That cocky look back on his face.

“Something else, Harkin?” Garrus questioned, patting the rifle in his hands.

“So, if our business is done, I’ll be going…” He threw a thumb over his shoulder at the door behind him and started slowly retreating.

Garrus lunged and grabbed him by the shirt again, bringing his face up close. Harkin squeezed his eyes shut, expecting to be headbutted and slowly cracked on eye open when the expected pain in his temple didn’t appear.

“I don’t think so, you’re a criminal now, Harkin.”

“So what? You’re just going to kill me? That’s not your style Garrus…”

The Turian kept hold of him, as much to resist the urge to finish him as to create fear. He roughly let go of the mans shirt and pushed him away slightly.

“Kill you? No. But I don’t mind slowing you down a little.” Garrus raised his gun and then pointed it to Harkin knee before pulling the trigger, a single bullet barking out before Harkin dropped to the floor.

“You son of a bitch!” Harkin screamed, clutching the remains of his knee.

“I guess I’ll leave C-Sec a blood trail to follow.”

“Bastard!” Harkin grunted, trying to stem the blood loss with his hands.

“You’ve got off lightly, Harkin.” Shepard said softly as she crouched down to him and ripped off the sleeve from his shirt and letting the fabric flutter down towards him. She had done her bit; it was up to him if he had the brains to tie off the wound so he didn’t bleed out on the floor.

“Sidonis better be there, or I’ll be following that trail to finish the job” Garrus retorted over his shoulder as they walked away.

* * *

Making their way back to the main concourse, Garrus pulled them both to the side. Looking over at C-Sec and Bailey through the window, wondering how much the Captain knew.

“Look,” he whispered, holding his hands behind his back as he addressed them. “Alenko, you going to be upset if I just take Shepard with me on this one?”

Kaidan eyed the Turian, wondering why he was being discarded after pulling through like he did after being shot. His eyes narrowed as he appraised the motives that could be behind the request.

“I promised to see this through with him, it’s nothing personal. Plus,” Shepard put her hand gently on his injured shoulder. “I want you to report to Chakwas and get this seen to, if the bullet isn’t extracted, I _will_ know.”

“Yeah, yeah, ok. I can take the hint when I’m not wanted.” He huffed as he walked backwards away from them, holding his arms wide in mock defeat. He dropped them suddenly and turned away, sauntering through the checkpoint and making his way to the Normandy and out of sight.

“So have you two…?” Garrus asked quickly. Turning to face her as she watched Kaidan’s retreating form.

“What? No! We can’t anyway.”

“That doesn’t mean that you don’t want to?” Mandibles flaring wide, Garrus let out a deep laugh as Shepard squirmed. He was lucky that they knew each other so well to get away with a comment like that.

“it’s complicated.” Shepard tried to doge the question as she punched in a request for a skycar to pick them up.

Garrus let the conversation drop, for now at least and was content to wait in silence as they watched for the arrival of the cab. Shepard had selected an unmanned one so that they wouldn’t have any awkward questions as to why they wanted dropping off on random rooftops while heavily armed and in hardsuits.

Driving over to the selected vantage point, Garrus set the cab down and unlatched the door. The lights were dim up here, no need to illuminate the service ducts and air filtration systems. Looking around to make sure they wouldn’t be disturbed; Shepard took a sideways glance at her friend.

He rested his head back against the neck of his hardsuit, focusing on nothing in particular above them. Shepard felt suddenly as through she wasn’t in the same place as Garrus, like he had zoned her out to focus solely on what he needed to do. She brought her eyes down over the neon lights that hung over the strip, advertising various entertainment facilities, restaurants and even housing complexes.

As the seriousness of the situation washed over both of them Garrus exhaled slowly and brought his own eyes down to where she was looking before softly climbing out of the cab and moving through the shadows to the handrail at the edge of the building.

“There he is.” Garrus whispered. Shepard slipped out of her seat and followed him, looking towards where Garrus had fixed his gaze. She said nothing as she studied the meek looking Turian below and wondered if the comment was for her benefit at all. Garrus unclipped his sniper and pulled out the freshly acquired rounds for it before sliding one neatly into the barrel.

“You ok? I’m getting a little worried about you. You were pretty hard on Harkin” Shepard asked gently, placing a hand on his arm to bring his attention to her.

“You didn’t think he deserved it?” Garrus replied, surprised that she would even think of going easy on that bastard.

“It’s just, that wasn’t the Garrus I know.”

“What do you want from me Shepard? I’ve been screwed over more times than you Humans have been alive for.” He turned to face her before walking back to the cab and placing the sniper down on the roof before leaning against it and folding his arms. He looked defiant, something she had never seen before when it came to her. “What would you do if someone betrayed you?”

Shepard sighed and looked up at the artificial sunlight that was trying to filter down through the densely packed strip. “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t let it change me.”

“Yeah, well, I would have said the same thing until it happened to me. Before I had to tell all those families that their loved ones were gone and I was the only one left standing, due to him.” Garrus looked back towards Sidonis, his eyes narrowing as he studied the visibly nervous Turian that was waiting below.

“The option to walk away is still there, Garrus.”

“I can’t. He’s spilled too much blood, killed too many good men for his own gain. And for what? A life hiding in the shadows to try and avoid paying the debt he owes?”

“Don’t you think that’s punishment enough?”

“Where’s the justice? No one else knows what he’s done, no one cares. He gets to live out whatever life he thinks he’s paid for without any of the responsibility for his actions. I need to do this.”

“Let me talk to him.” Shepard asked quietly, not sure where it would go but the idea of maybe preventing any more bloodshed a driving factor to at least try.

Garrus exhaled and scuffed the metal roof with his boot, kicking up imaginary dirt. The tension was radiating off him and Shepard was keenly aware that whatever he said, getting this close to Sidonis was troubling him in more ways than one.

“Talk all you want,” He finally agreed with a wave of his hands. “It won’t change _my_ mind, he screwed us over, he deserves to die.”

“Do you really believe that?” Shepard turned to him and pushed him lightly on the shoulder, forcing him to look at her. Forcing him to see the distaste at his attitude. “I understand what you’re going through but this… do you really want to kill him?”

“Torfan isn’t the same Shepard, you were killing Batarians for what they did, I don’t recall you killing Alliance Marines for selling you out to them. I appreciate your concern, but I’m _not_ you.”

Garrus picked up his sniper and started fiddling with it, giving Shepard a clear signal that if she wanted to go speak to the traitor then do it now as their conversation was over.

Sighing heavily, she pushed herself away from the cab and made the decent down the ladders to the street level, moving between the crows that were there before stopping outside the Orbital Lounge. Sidonis looked pale, even under the glaring neon yellow signs littered above. He paced about, jittery movements that looked out of place in the casual environment that they were in. Any other time, C-Sec would probably pick him up thinking that he was on the slippery come down from a Red Sand high, but here he was, looking scared.

The comm in her ear burst into life as Garrus’s two-toned voice growled into it.

“Keep him talking and don’t get in my way, I’ll let you know when he’s in my sights. Give me a signal that you are ready and I’ll take the shot.” The comm clicked off and silence fell over Shepard once more as she softly approached the Turian.

Sidonis looked over at Shepard, his eyes growing wide at her in armour and armed to the teeth, a stark contrast to the casual attire worn by every race present around them. He skittered over obediantly nevertheless when she beckoned him. Standing in between the known sniper and Sidonis, she opened her comm so that Garrus would hear the exchange.

“Let’s get this over with.” The Turian meekly asked, eyes searching from side to side as thought he was anticipating an ambush.

“You’re in my shot, move to the side.” Garrus growled in her earpiece. Frustration tainting his voice. Shepard kept her eyes on Sidonis. He was terrified of everything around him, whatever life Garrus thought Sidonis had manged to arrange for himself it didn’t look like much of a life to her.

“Listen Sidonis, I’m here to help you.” She soothed, knowing that it wasn’t a lie. The Turian stopped to focus on her as she spoke, the plates on his face pinching together almost like a frown.

“Don’t _ever_ say that name out loud.” He snapped, his eyes returning to their frantic observation of everyone and everything around him.

“Look,” She grabbed his arm, pulling him closer to him, both getting his attention and providing more of a barrier. “I’m a friend of Garrus, He want’s you dead, I’m hoping that it won’t come to that.”

“Garrus?” Sidonis spat out, pulling backwards to study her face for any clue as to if this was real or a nightmare. “Is this some kind of joke?” He took a step backwards, shaking his head lightly as if that would wake him up from whatever hell his mind had placed him in. Shepard yanked him back to her again, her glare telling him that this was no joke as he stumbled and bumped against her armour.

“Damnit Shepard! If he moves, I’m taking the shot” Garrus barked through the earpiece, she could hear the click of the gun as the bullet was primed.

“Screw this, I’m not sticking around here to find out what he wants,” Sidonis threw off Shepard's arm and started to back away, the nerves kicking in to encourage him to run.

“Don’t _move._ ” Shepard pulled him back to her again, relieved that the passers-by didn’t seem curious as to what was going on. She shuffled on her feet to ensure that she was in the way of the view down the scope.

“Get off me!” The Turian spat out, trying not to draw too much attention to himself while showing Shepard that she had crossed the line.

“I am the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head!” Shepard shouted at him, gesturing over her shoulder to the buildings at the end of the strip.

“Fuck.” Sidonis looked to the floor, out of options, his eyes wide as he realised that he couldn’t just run or reinvent his life to find some sanctuary from the nightmare he had made for himself.

Shepard nodded politely at an older Turian couple who had stopped upon hearing the little outburst between them, the last thing she needed was someone else getting involved and potentially making things worse. Inhaling deeply, she placed her hand on his back and ushered the target over to the railing, trying to get them as much privacy as could be found in a busy pedestrian area.

“Look, I didn’t want to do it,” Sidonis leaned heavily on the railing, hanging his head at the memories he was having to dredge up. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Everyone has a choice.” Garrus countered in her ear at his words. Shepard stayed silent and let Sidonis carry on.

“They got to me, said they would kill me if I didn’t help. What was I supposed to do?” He turned his head to look at Shepard, the fight clearly gone from him.

“Let me take the shot, he’s a damn coward.” growled into her ear. She bit her lip, thinking of how she could angle the questions to satisfy or deny the opinions Garrus was providing her with.

“So that’s it, you were just trying to save yourself?” She levelled him with an emotionless gaze, requesting him to answer but without levelling judgement before he could speak. He sighed and looked out over the level below them, watching the people making their way to their destinations, talking, having fun.

“I know what I did,” he said quietly, hanging his head. “I know they died because of me and I have to live with that.”

Shepard stayed silent, prompting him to talk to fill the void. He stood upright, forcing Shepard to adjust her position, and looked up. Shepard wasn’t sure if Turian's cried but what she saw before her was a damn close example.

“I wake up every night, sick. Sweating. Each of their faces staring at me, accusing me,” He turned to her, allowing her to see the broken man before her who was trying to deal with the consequences of his actions ever damn night. “I’m already a dead man. I don’t sleep, food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over.” Sidonis leant back over the railing, his talons bridged together as he watched people enjoy the life that he wasn’t able to himself.

“just give me the chance.” Garrus whispered through the comm. Shepard closed her eyes and gently shook her head, as if trying to clear her thoughts over what had been said.

“You’ve got to let it go Garrus, He’s already paying for his crime.” Shepard shifted uncomfortable as she spoke, watching Sidonis turn to her as she addressed the person he was hiding from.

“He hasn’t paid enough, he’s _still_ alive.” Garrus hardened his voice, the subtle tension being applied on the trigger barely audible. Shepard looked back to the Turian in front of her, he didn’t even seem to care anymore that he was about to be executed.

“Look at him Garrus,” Shepard chided, holding her arms out to emphasise that Garrus should survey the Turian stood in front of her. “He’s not alive, there’s nothing left to kill.”

“My men, they deserved better!” The anguish in the voice coming through her comms unit was clear, something had to give or Sidonis was going to be a dead man in the next two minutes.

“Tell Garrus… I guess there is nothing I can say to make it right…” Sidonis sighed as he pushed away from the handrail, ready to face the bullet that was primed and loaded for him.

“Just… Go. Tell him to go.” Garrus whispered eventually, the need for revenge seemingly replaced by disgust. Shepard exhaled heavily, thankful that she had been prepared to take a hit on their friendship to do the right thing.

“He’s giving you a second chance, Sidonis. Don’t waste it.”

“I’ll try, Garrus.” The Turian replied, louder so that his voice could be picked up clearly by the comm. “I’ll make it up to you somehow.” Sagging slightly in relief he whispered the last part, almost like a promise to himself.

“You good?” Shepard placed a hand on his arm, pulling his attention to her as she raised her eyebrows, waiting for a reply from the flustered Turian.

“Thank you… For talking to him.”

Shepard nodded as he turned away and walked back to the Transit Hub at the opposite end of the strip. She turned at looked at the position that Garrus would have been in and then made her way back thought the crowds towards the ladder to begin the climb up to the cab.

* * *

Garrus strode over to the car and holstered his gun. Shepard could see that he was tense so kept quiet, letting him make the first move.

“Look, I know you want to talk about this, but I don’t. Not yet.” He waved his hand through the air, signifying that this line of conversation was definitely being shut down before it could even start.

“It’s for the best.” Shepard replied, she knew that pushing him would only make things worse.

Shrugging lightly as he paced about before her, she tried to emphasise that it was no big deal if he didn’t want to say anything, yet for Garrus it apparently was. Even in the dim light she could see that he was tense, his mandibles fluttering as he tried to reconcile what just happened.

“I’m not so sure.” He mused, turning to face the strip again, narrowing his eyes as he stared towards the direction that Sidonis had retreated.

“Give it time.” She stepped up and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He laughed and turned around, shrugging it off in the politest way possible and started back towards the cab.

“Yeah, maybe _that_ will be enough,” He laughed, sarcasm evident in the noise. He turned back to her, marching up to the railing again before leaning in to her. “I want to know I did the right thing. Not just for me, for my _men_.” His face was close to hers as he demanded an answer, something to ensure that he wouldn’t live to regret not taking the shot when he had the chance.

She didn’t answer. Garrus pulled back and shook his head. “They deserved to be avenged but when I had him in my sights, I… I just couldn’t do it.” His words were softer, the anger ebbing away.

“The lines between good and evil blur when it’s people we know. You expect them to be good and when they do something bad, it’s hard to reconcile it with what you know of them.” Shepard paused, knowing what she wanted to express just not the words to do it.

“It’s so much easier to deal with black and white, I don’t know what to do with this… _grey_.” Garrus shrugged, faceplates pinching together into a frown before he relaxed and sighed. Patting Shepard on the arm, he turned to her, the sincerity evident in the brightness of his eyes. “Thanks, for everything. I mean it but damn, let’s get out of here though. I need to put some distance between me and this place.”

Pulling open the hatch on the cab Shepard grinned at him and buckled up in the passenger seat. Garrus exhaled and started up the cab, raising them off the roof and gliding away back to the docks.

“Here’s hoping Chakwas managed to dig that bullet out of Alenko.” Garrus quipped as they pulled into the Transit Hub by the dock.

“Here’s hoping he actually went.” Shepard mused, raising an eyebrow at Garrus. He chuckled, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

“He wouldn’t want to disappoint you. You know that.”

“What is it with this? Why are you so interested in what is going on?” Shepard stopped Garrus before he headed thought the checkpoint, pulling him over to the side and determined to have this conversation away from where scuttlebutt could hear them. She watched people as they moved past them, waiting for Garrus to come out with it.

“I’ve seen you two together, and I know how much you love your fraternisation regs. But think about it Shepard, we could all be dead this time next week, or alive but trapped with a rapidly dwindling food supply. Wouldn’t you want to make sure that you did everything you wanted before it came to that?” He held her stare, folding his arms and challenging her to deny anything that he had just said.

“Garrus, it’s not like that.” She tried to defuse the topic, shifting around on her feet uncomfortably. Unsure what to even do with her hands until she folded her arms.

“Isn’t it. Well, my mistake.” Garrus grinned at her, giving her a curtsy to beg for forgiveness at suggesting such a thing. She punched him lightly on his chest, knowing that the reverberation of the contact on his hardsuit would be enough for the message to get through.

She turned and headed to the dock, Garrus following behind still grinning like he had one too many Turian Brandy’s. Weaving her way thought the dock workers who were organising the supplies that were to be loaded up into the cargo hold of the Normandy, she stepped into the airlock and waited for the door to open.


	8. Tracking a Shadow

She nodded at Joker as he turned to see who had entered and made her way through the CIC, returning the salute from a crewman that she didn’t really recognise. The Yeoman, Kelly told her that she had a new message come through as she made her way to the elevator.

“Thanks, I’ll check it in my cabin.” Shepard acknowledged as the door slid open and she stepped in. “EDI close the door.”

“Of course, Commander.” Came the smooth reply as the doors closed behind her. Shepard didn’t select a deck from the holo display, hesitating over where she should head first.

“Where is Kaidan?” She asked, trying to sound indifferent as she busied her hands with unclipping her gauntlets.

“Kaidan Alenko is currently recovering from surgery in the Med Bay.” EDI replied, the comm continuing to crackle slightly as the channel remained open.

“Thanks.” Shepard selected the Crew Deck on the holo and removed her visor and started to download the information stored in it to her Omni-tool. She heard the comm click off after she said no more and exhaled as the elevator quietly descended.

Arriving at the Crew Deck, she turned left and headed to the Med Bay, walking quickly past the crew who were on break, overhearing snippets of excited conversation about their activities on shore leave. Waving her arm through the holo to open the door she stepped inside, waiting for Chakwas to usher her in. She might have been the Commander, but she knew as well as anyone that the Med Bay was not her territory.

The Med Bay was slightly cooler than the rest of the ship, the sterile smell was faint but noticeable. Beeps and hisses from various machines kept the pace like a clock on an unknown time cycle. It was relaxing, the bustle of a staffed star ship fell away at the door leaving you feeling like you had stepped into another location completely.

“Shepard, what do I owe the pleasure?” Chakwas smiled as she turned around in her chair. Shepard juggled her gauntlets from hand to hand, not sure what to do with them now they were off.

“I want to check up on Alenko, I tried to patch him up in the field but you know I’m no Field Medic. How’s he doing?” She tried to mask any concern that may have come across as unprofessional, instead trying to focus on the insinuation that she may have made the Doctors life harder with her actions on the ground. It was easier for Shepard to make out that she had failed at something than let on that she really cared, a thought that made her wince inside.

“You did fine, a bit more medi-gel than I would have used but I’m never doing it in the heat of battle. Better too much than not enough in that respect.” The Doctor allayed her fears easily, a genuine smile and laugh punctuated what she said, Shepard relaxed into a grin herself.

“And the bullet?”

“Came out just fine, no internal damage that can’t be sorted out with a few days rest and physio. If what I hear is true about our trip to Illium, then he will be recovered by the time we arrive.”

Shepard stole a glance to the back of the bay, the lights were dimmer there and a curtain had been set up around a cot. Chakwas followed her gaze and smiled to herself, Shepard seemed to be doing it again, taking any injury that a ground team member sustained as a failure on her part. The Doctor had spent enough time around soldiers and certainly around Shepard to know that there was no reasoning that could be provided to stop the notion, you just needed to let them reconcile it on their own terms.

“You can see him, he’s still unconscious but he should be able to hear you.” Chakwas put her hand on Shepards arm, bringing the Commanders attention back to her. The doctor nodded lightly and patted the place her hand had rested, giving Shepard the silent go-ahead she needed to make her way over as quietly as her boots would allow on the metal floor.

She hesitated by the curtain, unsure if she should move around. Would Kaidan hate for her to see him like this? He sure gave her the impression that it was one thing telling her about his vulnerabilities in private but actually having her see him vulnerable would be something completely different.

Stepping past the curtain she decided that as his CO, she needed to make sure he was alright, that he had made it here in one piece and that the Doctor had performed her duties. It was a shallow excuse, but one that she knew couldn’t be questioned and that’s what she was clinging to.

“Oh Kaidan,” She couldn’t help whispering as her eyes surveyed him. A standard issue blanket covered much of him, but the large wadding that covered the wound and the slight frown that marred his face as he slept made her stomach lurch.

Her fingers found themselves brushing a lock of hair away from his forehead, frowning herself as she watched him lay perfectly still, unmoving at the contact. She hated seeing anyone like this, their rigid positioning signifying that their slumber was forced due to circumstance, a circumstance that could have been avoided if she had perhaps done something differently.

With fingers that continued to stroke his hair she bent down slowly and settled her gauntlets on the floor next to her as pulled up a chair with her now free hand. Settling down, she pursed her lips, trying to keep in what she wanted to say. She knew that Chakwas would probably hear it all but could rely on the Doctor to keep it private.

“I’m sorry, Kaidan. I don’t know if you think this is my fault or not but regardless of what I’ve done in the past I don’t enjoy seeing my team get hurt.” She paused, trying to see if her words were being heard. His expression didn’t change, sighing heavily, she carried on. “I know when I died, a lot of people blamed themselves. Thinking that if they had done something different, I would have still been there…”

She paused; Shepard knew that he had read the Lazarus Project file she had given him, but she had never told him about the interactions with anyone upon her miraculous rebirth. How Anderson had dealt with it was more gracious than others, that was for sure.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m just the same, I hate seeing people hurt under my watch,” She paused, knowing what she wanted to say but unsure if she should, especially when she we keenly aware they weren’t alone. Shuffling forward slightly, wincing as the chair scraped against the floor, she brought her head closer to his, noticing how pale he seemed under the dim lights. “Especially people I care about.” She breathed, low enough that only he would hear it and looked to his face again, hoping that her words would be given some recognition before she felt foolish over uttering them.

He didn’t stir.

Resting her forehead on the edge of the cot she picked up a gauntlet, running her fingers over the edges and clasps, mind turning over what Garrus had said to her before they had gone through the checkpoint. She was more than happy to help her crew put to bed any loose ends that they had to ensure that they went into this final mission with a clean conscious, but what about her? What was she doing for herself to ensure that she felt the same?

She felt the sheets move slightly and held her breath as she raised her head. While his face was still etched with the frown his hand twitched to the left of her. Standing quickly she took it in her own and squeezed his fingers gently, a smile and happy gasp breaking free when he squeezed them back.

“Chakwas, Karen! I think he waking up!” She called, dropping the gauntlet back to the floor, the clatter causing Kaidan to furrow his brow further as the grogginess wore off slowly.

The Doctor was by her side in seconds, Omni-tool open as she scanned him and checked over the results. She stepped back out briefly and returned with a stim pack.

“This should get him up and about.” She explained for Shepards benefit as Chakwas pressed the pack against his inside of his right arm. Depressing the button, the hiss of air described the medication had been delivered and both women stood over him, waiting for the drugs to take effect.

Kaidan’s eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as he tried to fight off the sleepiness that made his eyelids heavy. In the moments he was able to crack his eyes open he could make out two figures looming over him. Panic washed over him as the memories of where he was were taking longer to make their way back to the front of his mind. Instinct took over as he lashed out, scooting up the cot and trying to get away.

“Kaidan,” Chakwas soothed, catching his flailing arm and holding it to his side. “You’re in the Med Bay, on the Normandy. There’s no need to worry.”

He blinked slowly and shook his head, trying to get the cobwebs from his deep sleep to leave. The Doctor he expected to see, but Shepard… She was here?

“I followed your orders.” He explained, voice thick. Feeling as though he needed to let her know why he was in the Med Bay.

“I’m glad you did,” She replied with a smile, finding his hand and squeezing his fingers affectionately. His eyes lowered to where they were touching, his breath hitching in his throat.

“I’ll leave you two to debrief in private.” Chakwas nodded at them both as she made her way around the cot to leave, Shepard received a knowing grin from her as she brushed past.

“Sorry for the inconvenience.” Kaidan finally said as the doors to the Med Bay opened and closed. He relaxed a little against the pillow, not bothering to pull the blanket up as the cool air caused goosebumps to rise up on his exposed skin.

“What inconvenience?”

“Being here, I don’t think I’ll be good for anything for a while.” He looked down, glum at the prospect of being forced to stay ship side and not of his own decision.

“Kaidan,” Shepard could hear her voice almost crack as she felt a pang of guilt flutter through her chest. “You’re not being an inconvenience. Look, we’re going to Illium, it will take a few days to get there and Chakwas said that by then, you’ll be ready.”

He turned to face her, he looked hopeful but still carried the feeling of disappointment. Shepard gave him a watery smile, trying to reassure him when she sighed and brought her face down to his.

Kaidan felt her lips on his, gentle and chaste but the contact was oh so welcome. He groaned and closed his eyes, allowing her scent and touch to imprint on his memory as he pushed lightly back towards her, letting her know that if she wanted more, she could have it.

Shepard pulled back slightly, focusing on his whisky eyes that were so close to her that she could see the flecks of darker brown that ringed his pupils like a starburst. He waited, trying to control his breathing as his heart threatened to hammer out of his chest. Focusing on not doing anything that might cause her to skitter away and declare what just happened a mistake.

“What are you doing?” He finally breathed against her lips as he searched her eyes, watching as their grey became stormy at his words. He held his breath, realising that he might have just broken whatever this was between them.

She looked down and smiled, a pink tint blooming on her cheeks. Pulling back slightly she cupped his jaw, letting her fingers traverse over the stubble that was breaking though. Feeling him lean into automatically, she let out a happy sigh.

“A friend told me to make sure I had done everything I wanted to before we ended up dead due to this mission.” She met his eyes again as he flared slightly. Her own Biotics tingling as his broke free. “But, before this goes further, I want to get you to the Project Zero base, get rid of those demons. Ok?”

Kaidan frowned, shifted uncomfortably as he brought his leg up to try and hide the reaction his traitorous body had made. He laid his arm over his knee, pretending that his shoulder was hurting, biding some time before he answered her.

“I don’t know if I need to anymore. The more time I spend with you the more I realise that those walls I throw up are meaningless.”

“How so?” She pushed, his comment came out of the blue and she wasn’t sure if he was just saying it for her benefit.

“You’re the Illusive Man’s secret weapon, he’s not going to endanger you just so I power up.” He scoffed lightly, realising how ridiculous his fear about her safety actually was.

“That might be true but at one point they did do that. I want answers, even if you feel like you don’t need them.” She dropped her hand and stooped down to pick up her gauntlets. Looking at him with raised eyebrows to get her point across.

“Fine, fine. Whatever you want.” He couldn’t help the disappointment leaking out into his voice as she shuffled back down the cot and pulled the blanked roughly over him as best he could.

“Plus, it might help with this.” Shepard critiqued as she frowned at him and waved an arm over his form on the cot. She couldn’t stop the niggling annoyance at his attitude making itself known in the back of her brain.

“With what exactly?” He narrowed his eyes at her, noticing the sudden change in her attitude towards him.

“With how you blow hot and cold, I never know what is going to set you off.”

“That’s just me, Shepard. Take it or leave it, I’m not fucking changing who I am for anyone, not even you.” He turned away from her and fixed his stare on the window opposite, a sour mood descending over him. She had practically told him that she would prefer it if he was different, at that point, why the fuck is she even bothering with him?

Shepard stiffened, catching herself before she flared in anger. If he decided to think that she wanted to change his personality, fine, let him think that. Maybe once she had found the answers it was apparent that he so desperately needed, he might get it into his head that she was trying to find out _why_ he was such an asshole one moment and a sweetheart the next and how to help him deal with it, not change him into some sort of lapdog.

She backed away from the cot and disappeared around the curtain, listening to the sound of someone punching a mattress as the doors opened to let her leave.

* * *

Watching Joker bring the ship into dock on Illium she patted his shoulder excitedly upon the engines locking down. Apologising profusely as he hissed at the impact and turned to glare up at her. While any other crewman would have been dragged in for a reprimand over insubordination, Joker had the skill and intelligence to warrant letting it slide.

He was sharp in his observations and his ability to pilot the Normandy was second to none. If anything, Shepard felt that he was less of a subordinate and more of an equal, especially since their conversation over what transpired on the old Normandy that led to her death.

She turned to the two other figures stood behind her, Garrus as always and Grunt. Garrus had already questioned her as to why Kaidan wasn’t coming with them, she gave him some excuse over his shoulder and he knew her well enough not to question it even if he didn’t believe it. Grunt looked eager to be off the ship, excited by what he might find.

The airlock hissed open and the three of them exited. The view, even from here was breath-taking. Slowly making their way to the main port they were greeted by an Asari flanked by two LOKI Mechs, waving at them to get their attention. Shepard and Garrus shared a look, the last time they were faced with the droids they were shooting at them.

“Welcome to Nos Astra, Commander Shepard” The Asari greeted them as the group stopped before her. “We’ve been instructed to waive all docking and administration fees for your visit. My name is Careena. If you need any information about the area, it would be my pleasure to assist you.” She nodded politely and waited for any questions that might come her way.

“That’s a lot of firepower for a friendly welcome, Expecting trouble?” Garrus asked, gesturing to the Mechs beside her. Grunt laughed low and hunkered down before Shepard put her arm out to warn him off any action he was thinking of taking.

“We are the gateway to the Terminus Systems. That element of risk requires greater security, as I’m sure you can understand.” She clasped her hands in front of her, unphased by the unorthodox ‘thank you’ she had just received.

“Why were our fees waivered?” Shepard asked, wondering how exactly had Careena known her name as Joker sure as hell hadn’t mentioned it as they were asking permission to dock.

“Ah, Liara T’Soni vouched for your conduct and paid all the fees you would normally occur.” The Asari smiled at the group, noticing a look passing between the Human and Turian.

“Liara is here? Our Liara?” Garrus said to Shepard, noticing that she was equally surprised at hearing their old friend’s name.

“Yes,” Careena intervened. “In fact, she asked that I direct you to speak with her at your convenience. You can find her office near the trading floor.” She raised her arm and activated her Omni-tool, tapping at the screen and looking over at Shepards arm for the soft orange light to emit, letting her know that the directions to Liara’s office had been received. “She is one of Nod Astra’s most respected information brokers, she has done quite well for herself.

Shepard nodded at her and pulled up the information she had been sent, motioning for Garrus and Grunt to follow her as they moved out.

* * *

Moving thought the administration office, she looked out over the trading floor. The atmosphere almost frantic as traders bought and sold, both to clients in person and over comms. The architecture was clean and the terraces dominated the skyline and Shepard looked around her, she felt it was quite similar to the Presidium back on the Citadel, where the construction ensured that every apartment or office was granted a glorious view.

The same consideration was apparent here, every balcony and window carefully positioned to take in the view of the city as the sun produced and ethereal purple haze as it broke through the skyscrapers.

“You know it looks beautiful but it’s no safer here than Omega.” Garrus mused as he looked over the balcony at the drop below them.

“Sounds like my kind of place.” Grunt added with a laugh, showing his teeth to a Volus who was trying to arrange a prefab contract with another Asari.

“You might be right, Garrus.” Shepard replied lightly, taking note of his frown before ushering Grunt away from his campaign of terror.

Ascending the stairs near the back of the floor they found themselves at a small desk with a well spoken Asari tending a comm link. She glanced up at them and raised a finger, indicating that she would be with them shortly. Shepard took the opportunity to take in the surroundings, noting that there was no indication of whose office this actually was. Liara, it seemed, was content to blend in and work without drawing attention to herself. Probably the reason she had done so well, keeping off the radar was good for her and her clients.

“Liara will see you now.” The Asari at the desk said to her, making Shepard jump slightly as she was pulled back from her thoughts.

“Thank you.” She nodded politely as she walked thought the door.

She was greeted with Liara pacing in front of a bank of screen with the holo of a portly Human trying to bargain with her. Liara was shaking her head as she looked over a datapad, making unhappy clicking noises with her tongue as the man sputtered out his excuses.

“Have you faced an Asari Commando unit before? Few Humans have…” She said, her tone even but cold. Liara didn’t look at him but held her hands behind her back as she paced in front of his image as the man shuffled about and wiped the sweat from his brow.

“No I haven’t Dr. T’Soni, look, I’m trying here, I’m not gonna mess you around!” He rubbed the back of his neck and cradled his arms against himself, visibly distressed at what was going on.

“I’ll make it simple for you,” Liara turned and smiled dazzlingly at the man. “Either you pay me what you owe or I flay you alive, with my mind.” She cut the comm link and the holo of the man fizzled out before he could even respond. She threw the datapad onto her desk and brought the heel of her hand up to her forehead, trying to keep her anger in check.

“Liara?” Shepard asked, unsure if this was actually _the_ Liara T’Soni she knew two years ago.

“Shepard!” The Asari explained, smiling broadly as she enveloped her friend in a deep embrace. Shepard pulled back slightly and looked at her, now that the holo was gone, her old friend slipped back into her usual mannerisms, the soft voice, slightly awkward demeanour that she recognised from all those years ago. 

“Good to see you Liara.” Garrus coughed from behind, grinning at her, it had been some time for him too.

“Oh Shepard, my sources said you were alive, but I never believed it… It is so very good to see you.” Liara looked almost sad at not believing the reports sooner, as though she may have missed out on time they could have used to reminisce or rekindle their friendship.

“It’s fine Liara, it’s been a lot to take in, trust me.” Shepard gave her a smile that almost reached her eyes, it still felt awkward meeting people she knew, knowing that for two years they had though her dead and undoubtedly moved on.

“Yes but here you are, alive and gunning for the Collectors with Cerberus.”

“You seem well informed,” Garrus quipped as Liara blushed slightly and tried to look down to hide it. He cocked his head, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to keep in just how she knew.

“Oh I have sources, all part of being an information broker. Anyway,” She sat down behind her desk as Shepard took a seat opposite her.

“If you know what we’re up against they you know I could use your help.” Shepard leant forward placing a hand on the desk, Liara looked at it and sighed heavily.

“I can’t, I’m sorry Shepard but I have commitments here, things to take care of.” The Asari got up and looked out over the vista behind her, her form pushing through the holo screens to lean against the balcony wall behind.

“Take care of? Are you in trouble? Nothing to do with Benezia I hope?” Shepard was about to rise to her feet when Liara returned and dropped into her seat again, running a finger across a holo frame on her desk.

“No, no trouble. It’s just been a long two years. I had things to do while you were gone, debts I need to repay.”

Garrus stepped forward and lent on the desk, creaking slightly under his weight. Liara looked up at him expectantly, her pale blue eyes wide as she sat there waiting for what he was about to say.

“If there is anything that you need, you can reach us. You’re part of the Normandy even if you’re not physically on it.” He nodded at her affectionately, mandibles flaring into a wide grin as Liara’s blush deepened.

“Thank you Garrus, you always were a true friend.”

“Liara,” Shepard suddenly piped up, not wanting to break up the reunion but knowing that they were being currently held to ransom by a ticking clock. “Do you know where I would find a Drell called Thane Krios?” She pulled up her Omni-tool to double check the name she had given was the correct one.

“The assassin?” Liara looked puzzled for a moment but didn’t press the matter. “Yes, he arrived a few days ago. News is that he’s may be targeting a corporate executive but the name of Nassana Dantius. If you talk to his contact, Seryna, in the cargo transfer levels she may be able to give you an accurate location.”

Shepard blinked at her, taking in the information Liara had just provided.

“You knew all that off the top of your head?” She squinted at the Asari, trying to work out her secret. Liara just let the corner of her mouth tug up in a small smirk.

“I’m a very good information broker, Shepard.”

“Don’t suppose then you know where I could find an Asari Justicar named Samara do you?”

Liara looked down and pondered for a moment.

“Samara… Yes. She also arrived recently and registered with Tracking Officer Dara in the Transportation Hub.”

“Thanks for the help Liara, that’s all I need to know.” She stood up and they nodded their goodbyes, walking out of the office and down the stairs in silence. It felt strange leaving Liara behind, the last memories Shepard had of Liara were based on how she was on the old Normandy, a nervous archaeologist they had found hiding from the Geth.

Yet now it felt that in the blink of an eye she had become a somewhat ruthless information trader. Liara was right though, for everyone else it had been a long two years, people and places had changed while it felt like Shepard had stayed still.

“Cargo transfer levels are this way.” Garrus whispered, pulling her from her memories. She smiled lightly, trying not to sour the mood but he read her like a book. “She will be fine, whatever she’s doing she can clearly handle it.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Lets go and get this Thane Krios and then head back to the Normandy for debrief. I’m sure Joker would like to know that Liara is ok.”

* * *

Descending further into the depths of Nos Astra they arrived at a small open plan office that led onto a small storage room. Two workers joked together as they pulled files and checked off items from lists strewn over their desks, sipping from cups and snacking on some Asari delicacy when they got the chance. Overlooking the dock area, their view was breath-taking but they didn’t seem impressed with it, the beauty marred by seeing it every day.

“We’re looking for Seryna.” Grunt stated directly, his drawl breaking the silence and caused the two women to stop what they were doing and look up towards them, papers still in hand.

“Who wants to know?” One of them finally asked, shrugging sarcastically. Making it obvious that they weren’t going to just be provided with the information without knowing who was looking for her.

“Commander Shepard, a Council Spectre.” Garrus added before Shepard could respond herself. She kept the smile that wanted to break free to herself as he used her Spectre rank for added emphasis.

The Asari looked at each other and one rose to her feet, looking like the day couldn’t be over sooner.

“And what can I do for you, Spectre.”

“Dr. T’Soni told me that you have information on the whereabouts of a Thane Krios.” Shepard raised one eyebrow at her, an expression that was not lost on the Asari.

She sighed, pressing both palms flat on the desk before pushing upwards again with some new resolve. “Tana, cover for me.” She directed at the other Asari who just nodded in reply. “Come this way.” She hissed at Shepard, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her further into the cargo area.

“What do you know?” Shepard asked, folding her arms as she studied Seryna intently. Watching as she kept checking who was around them of if there were any comms open that might overhear.

“Yeah, I know Thane. Passed him some information but I didn’t hire him, what do you want to know?” She was whispering somewhat, causing the group to huddle together to be able to hear what she was saying. She fiddled with the hem of her uniform, pulling at imaginary loose threads, wanting to keep her head down until she could assess what and who these people were to be involved with Thane.

“We need to find him.” Grunt said, not understanding why the Asari wouldn’t reasonably expect that to be why they were there in the first place. His patience was running thin, especially when there was nothing to take his rage out on.

Seryna eyed him cautiously as he fidgeted with his shoulderplates, she turned back to Shepard and Garrus, finding them less ominous.

“He’s going after Nassana, taking it right to her penthouse suite. Tonight, if I’m not mistaken.”

“How did you become his port of call for information?” Shepard eyed her, unsure how a cargo assistant fitted in anywhere in this puzzle.

“I used to work for her, ran her security. That was until she fired me,” Seryna laughed once as her face contorted from disgust. “Wasn’t happy I brought up her killing people to keep her dirty secrets covered.”

“If you ran security, what is Thane going to be up against?” Garrus opened his Omni-tool and tapped into it as he listened.

“Eclipse Mercs. High-tech killers without much discipline. Don’t underestimate them though, they are armed to the teeth.”

“Could be interesting if we have to go in through the front door?” Shepard quipped to the team, Garrus shrugged and Grunt smiled while pounding his fist into his palm. Rolling her eyes she decided that it wouldn’t be the best thing to do and she needed an alternative.

“While Thanes target is in tower one of Dantius Towers, there is an unfinished second tower that if he’s smart, he will use for access. I suggest that would also be you best point of entry if you choose to follow him.”

Shepard stepped towards the window and squinted into the distance at the two towers that dominated the skyline. Seryna waited patiently to the side, her training as a head of security keeping her there until she was dismissed.

“I’ve got a plan of the building, from the construction approval process. Things may have changed but it will give us an idea of the layout at least.” Garrus closed down the screen, the orange glow fading.

“Alright,” Shepard clapped Seryna on the arm and thanked her. “Lets debrief, get kitted out and then we can make a more tonight.”

“I finish work at 1800, come back here and I can get you over there in my car, drop you in discreetly where the construction workers offload the building materials. Unlikely to raise any alarms and you’ll skip needing to make your way up from the ground floor.”

“You’re on.” Shepard grinned.

* * *

“Miranda, been able to dig up anything about Nassana?” Shepard leaned on the table in the Comms Room and inspected the bright blue 3d representation of the Dantius Towers. Rotating it until the platform they were to enter came into view. She pressed a button and the overlay of their proposed path through to the first tower glowed in red.

“Nothing more than you know already, worked on the Citadel, hired you to kill her sister to ensure that her job didn’t come under investigation. Came to Illium after the Reaper attack and made her fortune here cutting shady deals and then hiding the evidence via a bullet to the head.” Miranda paced at the other side of the table as she read down the report she had put together, her preparation for the one she would ultimately need to send to the Illusive Man.

“What about our weaponry? Have you and Mordin been able to improve anything to give us an edge over the Eclipse?” She turned her attention to Jacob, he had stood there silently with his hand folded over his chest, contemplating their mission.

“Well,” He pulled his attention to his CO as she turned to look at him, still leaning forward. Her debrief style was something different that was for sure. “We have managed to get an edge with our tech, overloads and hacking capabilities should be improved once I push out this update to all required crew. Just need your approval.”

“Do it, Garrus will be happy. Any research that can be completed to give us a resistance _against_ tech attacks?”

Jacob shook his head slowly, he looked like he had failed in some way as he addressed Shepards question.

“Unfortunately not, Mordin thinks he might have something but we are running low on Eezo to make too many prototypes to test it. Unless we restock, our options may become more limited as we go along.”

“Commander, I have compiled our resources and estimated depletion dates, would you like me to forward them to you?” EDI cut through the quiet as they contemplated their options.

“Yes, thanks EDI.” Shepard pushed back off the table and clapped the back of her hand into her palm. “Keep looking into options, even if we don’t have the resources yet, we can sweep for them. I don’t want a second missed where we could be researching improvements.”

“Yes Ma’am.” Jacob replied smartly with a salute, snapping to attention before clasping his hands behind his back as he waited for his dismissal.

Shepard looked across at Miranda, who was stood with her arms folded and weight resting on one leg. She didn’t act like any XO Shepard had come across, but maybe that was because she was used to being in charge rather than under direct command.

Noticing Shepard staring at her she adjusted her position, dropping into a relaxed attention that she had seen Jacob use around superior officers. She had never had any official military training, but she understood protocols when she saw them. As hesitant as she was to give Shepard full rein of the ship and mission, the Illusive Man had ordered her to follow the Commanders lead, and that is what she would do.

“Dismissed.” Shepard said finally, rotating the holo image in front of her again as Grunt crashed through the doors. 

He glared at the visual of EDI who explained that she had tried to repel his entry until the Commander was ready. The AI apologised for being unable to contain him any further.

“Grunt?” Shepard asked, leaning a hip against the table as the two Cerberus officers filed out. She closed down the holo and focused on him as he bounced on the balls of his feet.

“Why do I feel so much rage, Shepard? I see visions of blood flowing from countless enemies, but I was not the one to defeat them. I was not the one to stand victorious in their corpses and the knowledge enrages me. I am superior but I am not the one who draws their blood, it feels like the midst of a blood frenzy when I have no enemies to unleash it on.”

“How long have you felt like this?” Shepard asked, standing a little straighter and flicking her eyes to the door.

“For days now. When I see my tank it angers me, I have no claim over this strength that I have been given. It reminds me of the failures before me have had the opportunity to fight for their strength. I don’t like this, fury should be a choice but now it feels like a sickness.” Grunt slammed his hands on the table, his large blue eye staring at Shepard as he waited for an answer to his problems. One that she had no idea how to give.

“Remember that friend of mine that I was telling you about? It might be time to see him.”

“A Human will not help me Shepard!” Grunt turned to her an stepped into her space, turning his head slightly so he could fix his eye on her.

“Good job this one is a Krogan. His name is Wrex, I’ll contact him and see what he suggests.” She pushed at Grunt's shoulder, not being able to move him much, but the gesture was approved as he started laughing.

“I like you Shepard.”

“Get ready for the mission, you’ll like that even more.”

* * *

Shepard was in the Armory, checking the weapons loadout and tinkering with her own choice of armor. Garrus and Grunt were giving their weapons a quick once over, making sure everything was clean and parts slid together smoothly, the last thing they would need is a jammed chamber in the middle of a firefight.

Jacob was at his console and workstation, datapad in hand as he tried to figure out how to adapt an SMG to provide more accuracy. It was one thing to cause a hailstorm of bullets, but if most of them missed it was wasted. He frowned, chucking the thermal clip onto the table next to him as he dropped the datapad down next to the clip. Placing his hands on the workstation he stared out into the void of space outside the window in front of him.

“Thoughts?” Shepard asked without lifting her eyes from the loadout locker she was consulting.

Jacob laughed lightly, he hadn’t spent much time with her but she had a knack for knowing just when something was up. Lifting himself back up to full height, he picked up the datapad again and made his way over to her. Shepard turned her head slightly, a gesture that indicated she was interested in hearing whatever he had to say, whatever it was that was bothering him.

“I’ve been thinking about the mission, _the_ mission,” He began, testing the waters before he continued. Shepard stood up, ignoring the weaponry for now. Jacob squinted slightly as the harsh lighting bounced off her armor, causing her to shift slightly. “I’ve also been thinking about the old Normandy.”

“Go on.” Shepard kept her emotions off her face, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“When the Normandy encountered the Collector vessel, it didn’t stand a chance against weaponry like that. Whats bothering me is that Cerberus has rebuilt the Normandy, supposedly bigger and better than before but they still followed the same technical for it. The guns are the same, the drive core might be bigger but that’s a by product of the size of the ship,--”

“What’s bothering you Jacob?” She reached out to take the datapad without breaking eye contact. Jacob handed it over, coming to a relaxed attention as she dropped her eyes to the orange screen. He had been busy and Shepard thought fleetingly that she might have underestimated him.

“If I can speak freely Ma’am, what’s bothering me is that we are not going to survive a Collector attack any better than the original Normandy. There have been no upgrades to any of the hull defences even with the knowledge of the attack, we are in the same position but expected to take on a home world?” Jacob almost looked annoyed as he spoke,

“And you’ve been looking into it,” She scrolled through the information, admiring how thorough the research, projected costs, resources and timeframes were. “I see Mordin has been working on this too.”

“He found the energy signature of the beam that the Collectors use in the recordings from the old Normandy. From that, it was just a case of matching up what would stand up to it long enough to give us a fighting chance.”

“And the Silaris armor looks like the best fit.”

“Yes Ma’am. We can get the Normandy retrofitted by an Asari team in a few days, _if_ we can get together the Palladium needed for it.”

“Well, Miranda is in charge of supplies, I’m sure she must have a few tricks up her sleeve to make the scanners more efficient? Let’s face it, if we can reduce the time spent surveying we have more time collecting the resources we need.”

“Aye-aye Ma’am, I’ll ask but it might need your authorisation to proceed.” Jacob saluted her smartly and left the Armory, leaving the ground team to finish up before making their way back to the Cargo Transfer office.

“Ready to go?” Shepard asked her two teammates as they conversed behind her. Garrus was leaning up against the table in his usual laidback way while Grunt bounced around in front of him, the excited energy seemingly bursting free on occasion. Garrus wasn’t phased by the Krogan in front of him, if anything, they seemed to be a thick as thieves ever since Shepard had opened that tank.

“On it, Shepard.” Garrus called out before turning around. He reached an arm over his shoulder and let his talons touch the grip of his sniper before dropping back down. He had found utility pouches somewhere, clipping them around his arms and thighs, with extra thermal clips stashed in the large pouches.

Grunt followed behind, shotgun already in hand as they made their way to the airlock. Shepard flicked on her terminal as she walked past and checked the message that Kelly had told her about. Seeing it was nothing important she tapped the screen off and caught up with the other two.

“Well, lets go catch an assassin.” She smiled at them as the de-con cycle ticked over.


	9. Dossier: The Assassin

The ground team made their way over to the Cargo Transport office and made themselves look busy while they waited for Seryna to finish her tasks for the day.

Traders and customers alike still busied themselves with their business ventures, even with the sun now set, the city didn’t begin it’s night-time hibernation, any hour was good to trade and any hour you weren’t was wasted time it seemed.

Pacing the white halls, Shepard flicked through a news screen, watching idly as she took in her surroundings. The occasional LOKI Mech patrolled past, causing her to bristle. Casting a glance over to where Garrus was sitting she could see that their last encounter with the droids had left a lasting impression on him too. It was one thing to deal with them on a prison ship but to have all that potential destruction wandering freely around left a bad taste in both of their mouths.

The sound of chatter brought her attention back to the Cargo office. Seryna had stepped aside to allow her colleague through the door before raising her Omni-tool and setting the bright green holo to red. If she was locking down the door it meant that it was time for the show to begin.

“Welcome back, Commander.” Seryna greet her with a nod. She looked flushed, and her mannerisms seemed excitable. She turned and motioned to a side exit as she waved her hand through the holo and led them out into a small transit hub.

They climbed into her skycar, the stabilisers taking a moment to adjust to their lop-sided weight. Grunt was chuckling to himself as he clicked the safety on and off his shotgun. Garrus shot him a look, the repetitive noise beginning to burrow itself into his head, Grunt returned the stare, still grinning and still clicking.

As they took off, silence descended. Even Grunt stopped making noise as he looked out of the window and watched the other skycars as they moved about through the unmarked but universally understood lanes. Shepard turned to face Seryna as she inhaled a little, gathering herself to address the group she was chauffeuring to the Towers.

“The Towers are heavily guarded, even the unfinished one. You’ll also find more resistance the closer to the penthouse you go.”

Shepard hummed in response; she was expecting this if what Seryna had said about Nassana’s paranoia was true. Seryna coughed lightly and carried on through the silence around her.

“So, this assassin… you planning on stopping him?” She stole a glance to her left, seeing if she could catch any reaction from Shepard before settling her eyes back on the multitude of skycars in front of her.

“We’re just here to make sure he survives.” Shepard kept her eyes on the horizon, knowing that it wasn’t the answer that the Asari was looking for but it was the best she could give without potentially putting her life in danger.

Seryna made a noise that sounded almost like disappointment but took the skycar out of auto and started to accelerate, weaving around other slower cars and dipping to the left between two large skyscrapers. Her fingers moved over the console, Shepard glanced over and noticed that she had activated a jamming program, likely to block anyone around the towers from realising that their former head of security was making a fast approach.

“There they are, Dantius Towers. I’m sure you’re aware but you’ll need to cross over to the first Tower via the bridge to the penthouse. Her Mercs are going to fight you every step of the way, and as soon as they know you’re there, reinforcements will be called in. I don’t know how she does it but she seems to manage to employ a never ending supply of them.” She laughed lightly, a personal joke that the ground team wasn’t aware of. She cleared her throat, not sure how to continue.

“We might find him before it gets that far.” Shepard mused, looking out over the buildings. She wasn’t placing a lot of faith in that statement but it seemed an appropriate thing to say.

“Maybe,” Seryna quipped, turning to smile at Shepard. “At least you know where he is headed though.”

“Alright, lets do this.”

“Hold on!” The Asari said in a sing song voice, amusement barely contained as she dipped the nose of the Skycar down and plummeted below a row of cars that were blocking the exit. Grunt bellowed with delight in the back as Garrus had his talons wrapped firmly around the seat back in front of him.

“This is a lot easier in a C-Sec car, more places to hold on to!” His mandibles flared as Shepard turned around to look at him just has his hardsuit grated against the door panel.

Seryna deftly brought them down on a platform half way up the second Tower. Releasing the doors with a flick of her wrist she sat still as her passengers exited. The stabilisers jostling up and down as they moved around. She grabbed Shepards arm just before she was out of reach, pulling the Commander back to her briefly.

“Don’t linger too long, they’ll be here to greet you soon enough.”

“I don’t plan on it, thanks again, Seryna. Take care of yourself.”

Seryna just nodded to her as Shepard lowered the hatch back down and patted the roof to let the Asari know it was time to leave. The car lifted up and the engine flared out the back as she pushed the power through to put as much distance between herself and the Tower as possible.

Surveying the platform for entry points they all turned towards the sound of screams coming from the distance. Two Salarian’s were running from the main part of the building, looking over their shoulder as their pursuers came into view.

“Obviously, why wouldn’t they be using Mechs.” Garrus quipped as two LOKI Mechs strolled into view, guns raised and shooting the Salarian’s in the back as they ran. He groaned louder when they were joined by FENRIS Mechs charging at their quarry.

Stood out in the open, the ground team were picked up by the Mechs scanners almost immediately. The panes of glass between them disregarded as the FENRIS Mechs charged through the first pane. Drawing their weapons, Shepard shot out the remaining glass and sunk a clip into the nearest Mech, watching as its charge was interrupted but it shorting out, sliding across the floor slightly as it lost its momentum. 

Garrus dropped to one knee to thy and gain some extra stability with his sniper as he let a bullet fly towards the LOKI Mech at the back. Cursing slightly as the headshot he hoped for instead clipped its shoulder.

Grunt charged at the remaining FENRIS and slammed the but of his shotgun into its face. The Mech let off its short range stun trying to incapacitate its quarry but Grunt shrugged it off, Laughing as he primed his gun and unloaded it into the Mech in front of him. The flames that licked up from the wiring and pipes let the others know that he had decided to add the fun of incendiary ammo into the mix.

Shepard threw out a singularity to stop the LOKI’s in their tracks and Grunt ran to just within range and unloaded his shotgun again, turning slightly as one of them exploded.

“Well, if that was the welcoming party…” Garrus mused as he got to his feet, clipping his sniper back into place and pulling out his assault rifle. “Then this should be interesting.”

“Those Salarian’s looked like workers, why were they killing them?” Shepard asked, turning to face Garrus. She flared slightly, it was one thing to kill those who deserved it but killing civilians was beyond the pale.

She started jogging to where the Mechs had come from, pistol raised. There was silence until they got closer, a whimpering that sounded like someone was desperately trying to keep quiet but whatever agony they were in was too much.

Sweeping left first, she paused against the bulkhead, her back flat against the surface as she tipped her head to see into the room. It was empty aside from a med-kit and a terminal. Stepping around the corner she waved her pistol in a sweeping arc, checking that the treats were in fact neutralised.

“Garrus, hack that,” She yelled, pointing at the terminal. “Grunt, with me.”

Her team mates nodded at her orders and split to perform their designated tasks. Shepard popped the kit open and took out the medi-gel before heading towards where the pitiful noise was coming from.

Glancing down at the fallen Salarian’s she frowned, they seemed to be in a uniform of some sort but completely unarmored and unarmed. Whoever they were, they were not a threat, but they had been taken out ruthlessly. Crossing the threshold into another room another Salarian was desperately trying to sit up and drag themselves away from the pool of their own blood that was rapidly expanding under them.

“Help,” The Salarian gasped as Shepard approached, twisting his torso to try and look up at her.

Garrus had jogged over, his work done and he closed down his Omni-tool. He stopped abruptly upon seeing the Salarian. “He’s still alive?” His two-tone voice emphasising the disbelief at what he saw.

“Please, I can’t feel my legs… My chest… It’s killing me.” Blood ran out of his nose and down his face. Finally sitting up Shepard could see the shattered remains of his pelvis thought the blood soaked uniform. Blinking slowly to centre her thoughts she knelt down and pulled out the medi-gel she had picked up. It was a weaker variety but one that worked cross species. She hoped that it was going to be enough to get him through until help arrived.

“Who did this to you and why?” She asked, hoping to distract the Salarian as she pulled back the flaps of fabric to get a better look at the wound.

“We’re just night workers! Nassana… She sent them after us.” The words came out in stuttered bursts as his chest heaved with the effort. Shepard frowned and squeezed all the gel into the palm of her hand. “She sent the Mechs to round us up, but we didn’t hear… They just started shooting.”

“They just started shooting?” Shepard asked, her hand pulled back slightly from applying the gel. She frowned at the Salarian, unsure if his memories were muddled due to the trauma.

“I can’t breathe, please help me, my chest.” His head rolled on his shoulders as though he was one step away from passing out.

“He’s not going to make it if we don’t help him.” Garrus offered, nodding at the mound of medi-gel in Shepards hand.

“Garrus, you have a stimpack?” She asked, continuing to focus on the Salarian in front of her.

The Turian nodded, fumbling in a pocket until his talons curled around what he was looking for. Pulling out the plastic cassette and placing it against the Salarian’s neck, depressing the button quickly. Shepard grasped his shoulder as she worked the gel into his wound, wincing at the burning he no doubt felt, luckily the stimpack taking the edge off it. The Salarian looked delirious at the amount of medication going around his system, but the pain itself appeared to have been numbed enough that he was comfortable enough to continue.

“We were too slow. It was horrible.” His voice dropped to a whisper as he wiped the blood from his nose idly. “Everyone… screaming…”

Swallowing thickly the Salarian continued, more comfortable not his wounds had been attended to as best they could. “The Mercs, the Eclipse ones, they said there was no time. Nassana wanted us out of the way, immediately. Then they released the dogs.”

Grunt turned away, throwing his arms up in frustration. “Really, this guy? Why?”

The Salarian looked despondent, he didn’t really know why either.

“To her, we’re just expendable. I didn’t realise just how ruthless she was. Friends, co-workers, all slaughtered,” He looked out to his right, towards the open side of the Tower, dropping his voice to a barely audible whisper. “They were jumping off ledges just to try and escape the dogs.”

Shepard stiffened, pursing her lips as she turned towards her team. Even Grunt looked disgusted. “Just sit tight here and relax, I have sent a message letting the hospital know where you’re located.” She said, placing her hand gently on his shoulder to try and offer him some reassurance.

“Thank you.” He sighed, resting his head against the wall and closing his eyes briefly. Shepard paused, hoping that he hadn’t passed out, relief coming when he opened them again and gave her a small smile.

Standing up she motioned to the door behind the group and Grunt went over to open it. He turned back, smiling widely when it slid open effortlessly.

Moving up the hallway quietly, Shepard tried to listen for any noise coming from the room in front of them. The stark lighting from the overhead lamps illuminated boards and other stacks of construction materials but so far, none of the Eclipse Mercs they had expected. She leant her back against the panelling the surrounded the archway, Grunt taking cover on the other side. Nodding at him once he barred into the room, drawing fire as he crashed behind a stack of boxes.

Taking that as their cue, Garrus and Shepard moved in, opening fire on the Mechs that were making their way over to Grunt’s position. a FENRIS charged towards him, buzzing as he kicked it away with a well placed boot. Shepard sent out a Singularity, snagging a LOKI so that Garrus could take it out with a well placed burst of fire. A Merc ran through the opposite doorway, taking position behind some boards at the end of the room. His yellow tech armor glowing against the pale unfinished walls.

“Garrus! Your time to shine!” Shepard yelled over the noise. Pulling another Mech towards her on instinct as it appeared around a corner.

“On it!” He yelled back, moving up behind a box and opening his Omni-tool. Hist talons moved fast as he hacked into the armor subroutines, overloading them. The Merc staggered backwards, dazed by the jolt of power that burst out as his armor failed.

While the Mercs could be distracted with organic reactions, the Mechs were unaffected. Despite Seryna warning them that the Mercs were armed to the teeth, it was the unrelenting march of machines that was the real issue for them when trying to press forward.

They moved up the room, dashing from pillar to post trying to keep out of line of sight. The dim lighting cast by the infrequent positioning of the lamps and the constant gathering of steam from uninsulated vents made it harder to establish positive enemy contact.

“Vangard!” Shepard yelled as a heigh powered round took out her shields. She skidded to a crate, sliding along it until she could peek around the corner and try to work out where they had gone. The unmistakeable glow of biotics broke their cover as the Vanguard made their move, trying to flank them with a LIKI as back up.

“Did you go to Chakwas?” Garrus snarked, laughing despite the situation. Swinging round to put a few bullets in a FENRIS that had Grunt pinned down.

“You know what,” Shepard exclaimed, sounding joyful across the bursts of gunfire. “I didn’t. We have to do this the old-fashioned way.”

Garrus laughed harder, ejecting a thermal clip and slamming in a new one. “Grunt, nine and three!” He yelled at the Krogan.

they moved up quickly, taking position around the Vanguard who had no real option to go. Shepard sent out a Warp, curving it around the boards that the Vanguard had hunkered down behind. Listening for the tell-tale yell that meant it had hit its mark. A crack from Grunts shotgun finished them off.

“Another one! And a droid.” Grunt announced, charging over, forcing the second Vanguard to retreat slightly.

Shepard could see the room that they seemed to be coming out from. Making her way across, there was a dilemma in which way to take, through the uncompleted rooms or via the unfinished walkway? She ordered Grunt to take position by the walkway, giving Garrus the opportunity to use his sniper to take them out before they even got that far. Shepard was hoping to get to a quiet spot where she could Throw the unsuspecting Mercs off the ledge, see how they liked a fall of thirty floors.

Eventually, they got a breather. The resistance seemed to have abated, allowing them to take stock of their own clip supplies and sifting through the bodies to take whatever was spare. The circular door was their only option at this point, Garrus tapping it open before stepping back to allow Shepard and Grunt send their guns in first. It seemed like they were in a maintenance walkthrough between floors, the steep slope connecting the two levels was surrounded by vents and access panels for who knows what systems. The holo on the door in front of them was green. Shepard waved her hand through to open it.

They moved through quietly, pausing slightly when they heard chatter coming from another room. Moving to a dividing wall they waited, if the Merc were chatting then they were unaware that they had got to this level and they had the element of surprise.

“Hey! I think he went in here.” A Merc yelled to their teammate, a set of footsteps reverberated against the metal floor as they joined them.

“Well, go get him then.” The voice was hard, the tone of an order unmistakeable.

“You go!” The first Merc whined; their insubordination quickly followed up with the sound of armor hitting a wall. The Merc seemed to expel air as the second one all but growled at them. Shepard ordered her team to split and take opposite sides of the wall. Their movement drowned out by the disagreement between the Eclipse Mercs.

“Get. Your. Ass. In. There,” The second Merc snarled, accompanied by the same sound of armor grinding against something hard. “Nassana’s not paying you to stand around.”

“Can see why Seryna said they were unorganised.” Shepard whispered over the comms as her teammates focused on their next move.

“Maybe I should argue with you the next time you give me an order.” Garrus replied, trying to contain his laughter as Shepard stared at the back of his head, eyebrow raised. “I know you’re glaring at me.” 

“Fine. But I—” The Merc’s voice brought them back into the room but whatever he was going to complain about now was forgotten as everyone charged out of their hiding spot and took the Mercs by surprise.

Shepard charged in with a Pull at the two having the argument as Grunt went after the LOKI’s that appeared through a unfinished wall. The element of surprise had given them the advantage. Garrus was up ahead keeping any reinforcements pinned back in the passageway and what was already in the room were done and dusted. Shepard even felt a little sorry for the Merc who had been roughed up as he sailed overhead and crashed into the wall behind them, he actually had a good reason not to want to go into the room.

Sprinting into the room where the Mechs had been, Shepard crashed against a wall and started to flank the remaining Mercs. The one who had been giving the orders turned out to be a Vanguard and he was not happy at being surrounded. Throwing out grenades and wildly swinging his rifle his sole aim was to inflict as much carnage as possible before he went down.

Grunt yelled and barrelled into him, sending him crashing to the floor before pulling the trigger on his shotgun, the high impact rounds causing the Merc to jack-knife with the impact. Shepard raised her eyebrows at the unorthodox method before clapping the Krogan on the back. He might be tetchy with his anger issues, but he was showing the prowess of his breeding, that was for sure.

After checking all the boltholes and dark areas, they passed through another door, finding themselves on a corridor with an opening to their left. The corridor was dim, a single red light illuminating it as wires trailed about for the instillation of the required light boxes. The only way forward was through the archway that led into a larger room filled with building supplies. The lighting appeared brighter in there picking out movement via shadows cast on the panelled floor.

Shepard turned to look quickly and a Merc popped up from behind a crate by the doorway, nailing her with bullets that couldn’t miss their mark. Shouting in surprise she dropped back as Grunt moved to take her place and jumped straight over the crate and landed on the Merc, bellowing as he did his worst.

“That was close!” Garrus yelled, adrenaline in his voice causing it to pitch up in tone. He stood over Shepard, keeping her protected as her shields recovered and the suit based medi-gel dispenser kicked in.

“Tell me about it,” She grimaced, fingers pressing a small button to scroll back through the HUD output to see what he had been hit with. “They’re using fucking disruptor ammo.” She cursed as she reset the screen and nodded at Garrus to move out.

Making their way down the hallway, they had to keep on their toes as Mercs and Mechs alike flooded out from an unseen area. Snipers took up position at the back, shielded by large stacks of boxes and crates as the more agile Mercs swarmed them. Garrus managed to counter them by breaking through their back line with a well-placed headshot and with no one new coming to take up position, they knew the tide was turning.

Breaking through the onslaught, they came to a wider room with an elevator. Grunt charged off, his shotgun barking relentlessly as he took aim at point blank range. Boxes and crates looked like they had specifically been moved into positions to ensure that the Mercs had cover. Even the doorway to this area had been covered by a low wall of boards piled up on top of one another.

“They’re guarding something.” Shepard yelled out over the comms, cursing to herself as her pistol ejected the last clip she had. She turned slightly and sent a Shockwave out to the left, smiling as the few remaining Mercs were forced out of hiding as they staggered on their feet.

“What’s the betting that gets us to the penthouse?” Garrus replied, grunting as he took a hit while trying to get his sights aimed on an Elite Trooper that jumped into the fray from who knows where.

Their combined firepower and coordination finally gave them the upper hand, the last Merc going down on his desperate attempt to sprint to cover.

* * *

“Shepard, there’s a door here. I head voices.” Grunt signalled once the final sweep of the room had been completed. Shepard and Garrus made their way over, quietly listening to whatever may be behind the door.

“Do it.” She said to Grunt as he held his hand over the lock, waiting. Pulling his arm down, he stepped aside as Shepard flared when to doors opened. They were greeted by three Salarian’s, each of them wearing a terrified look on their faces.

“Please don’t kill us! We’ll go! We’ll Go!” The Salarian in a suit screamed at the ground team. Shepard brought her Biotics under control and folded her arms.

“Look, they’re not Eclipse,” Whispered another who looked like he was dressed in the worker they had met on the way in. “You’ll help us, right?” The confidence that his words were meant to convey were betrayed by the hint on fear in his tone.

“Its one reason I’m here, come on out, it’s safe enough.” Shepard said, unfolding her arms and gesturing to them to leave. Garrus stowed his gun and Grunt relaxed his position. The Salarian’s collectively exhaled a sigh of relief as the adrenaline in their system started to ebb away.

“Thank you, We are forever in your debt.” The Salarian who introduced himself as Daroth, offered, almost fawning over the team at their safe release.

“Maybe you can help me?” Shepard asked, hopeful that they may have seen something in their panic to get to a safe room. “I’m looking for someone. Not a Merc though, he’s on his own.”

The Salarian’s exchanged glances, Daroth’s companion shrugged his shoulders. “Well, whoever sealed us in here—”

“When he found us I thought we were dead!” The suited Salarian blurted out, shaking his head wildly.

“What Shelum is trying to say, is that whoever found us didn’t kill us, they just locked us in here.” Daroth elbowed Shelum, forcing him to drop back winded.

“Locked you in?” Garrus said questioningly before turning to Shepard. “If that’s the case then it sounds like our assassin was trying to keep them safe.”

“I’m sorry… assassin?” Daroth hesitated, before the words tumbled out.

“Here for Nassana I bet, She’s got it coming.” Shelum added quietly, rocking slightly on his feet.

“You can make it down to the cargo platform, the way is clear. Get a cab to pick you up and then get far away from here.” Garrus told them, nodding his head over his shoulder towards the direction that the ground team had come. Shelum ran for it, hands above his head as though the sky was about to collapse on him. Shepard held out a hand before Daroth left, hoping to ask him one last question.

“We need to get to the penthouse, what’s the quickest way?” She kept her tone level, not wanting to make him run before she got an answer.

“Cargo elevator is the only way up right now; they’re still working up top though so watch your step. Some of the walls aren’t in and it’s a _long_ way down.”

She moved her arm, offering him the chance to finally retreat. He nodded his thanks and scuttled around her sideways dragging along the third silent Salarian before breaking into a run and following after his friend.

Looking towards the main cargo elevator door, all three of them glanced around and established the best place to put themselves in case of an ambush. Garrus took up position behind a row of boards and pulled out his sniper and Grunt positioned himself nearer, ensuring that his shotgun could target whoever or whatever came out.

Shepard hadn’t managed to find any spare thermal clips flared slightly as she shook her limbs out to limber up and took position by the door, ready to send a Singularity right into it if needed. Dropping her hand though the holo she charged back towards the pile of boards in front of Garrus as they waited for the elevator to arrive.

The doors swooshed open to reveal a Krogan bounty hunter and two Eclipse Engineers. All three split up forcing the ground team to divide their firepower. The Krogan was the biggest concern, Armor covered and regen abilities made him a priority target to take down first, the turrets the Engineers were setting up would have to be delt with later.

Shepard sent out Warp after Warp until her amp burned hot against her skull. She was now really regretting giving Kaidan her upgrade as her powers seemed to make little difference to the bounty hunter. Grunt had managed to take out the Engineer on their right, but the turret was still firmly pointed at both Garrus and Shepard, causing them to have to wait until breaks in the gunfire to try and tackle the Krogan.

“Grunt! Knock that turret the _fuck_ out!” She yelled, frustration at having to dip into cover again making her words erupt with venom that she hoped he realised wasn’t directed at him.

She heard a growl and the sound of metal scraping across the floor, bits snapping and then the silence from that side as the blistering fire rate was suddenly cut off. Grunt turned his attention to the Krogan, and Shepard almost ordered him to stand down.

Going toe to toe with the full-sized bounty hunter, Grunt stood a full head shorter. He seemed unphased, revelling in the chance to test his genes against another warrior. While grunt was keeping the Krogan distracted. Shepard started flinging out Warps towards the turret, trying to strip away the armor that the Engineer was battling to keep intact from cover.

“Garrus, when they creep out to set up again, pin them between the fucking eyes.” She snarled over the comm, hearing the Turian behind her shift his position. She heard him unclip his pistol and fire a clip of bullets into the Krogan, his sniper would have done more damage, but the reload time might have missed him getting the shot he had been required to take.

Eventually, the Engineer crawled out, placing another turned down for the one they had destroyed. Before being able to bring up his Omni-tool to deploy it, he slumped over, face grazing against the metal he had placed on the floor as the bullet Garrus had kept waiting for him hit the target.

Grunt had stripped away the armor from the bounty hunter but now it was a battle of regeneration. The larger Krogan managing to sustain himself enough that the battle looked like there would be no clear victor. Shepard scooted to the edge of the pile of boards and laid down on her side, she had a clear shot to flick a Warp towards the Krogan and give Grunt the edge.

“Aaaand, now.” She whispered to herself as the orb of energy slid along the floor and connected with the Kogan’s leg, he looked down, unsure what was happening as Grunt squeezed the trigger on his shotgun. Her HUD informed her that the Krogan was not regenning and she gave a thumbs up to Garrus who proceeded to empty a clip from his assault rifle into the last remaining line of defence that Nassana had sent to them.

The cargo list carried them up the building, they watched as even the tallest towers around them seemed to shrink due to their assent. The doors opened to reveal a Merc pacing about in front of a large glass pane overlooking the city. The light above him dulled the glow from the helmet of his hardsuit but the dirt and scratches on it showed that this Merc at least had seen and survived his fair share of fights. He sounded cocky as he spoke, almost belittling whoever he was in communication with.

Shepard motioned for them to remain quiet and move up to intercept. She smiled briefly, watching the Merc clamp his finger to his ear to activate his comm link and give his report.

“I haven’t heard from teams Four _or_ Five… Don’t worry, my team is always ready to go… Yeah, I don’t know where he is, not yet at least… _Don’t_ worry about it…” He turned back to the window, shaking his head before looking back down to the floor and concentrating on the voice at the other end. “No, we don’t need any reinforcements… I’ll take care of it… It is under _control_! I’ll go down there myself if I have to!” He sighed deeply, removing his finger from the comm button and staring out of the window. Folding his arms and resting his weight on one leg he shook his head lightly, not even registering that Shepard was now stood right behind him.

“Turn around, _very_ slowly.” She hissed, allowing the flare to coalesce in her palm as she readied a Pull. He looked over his shoulder at her and almost knocked his helmet into Grunts shotgun.

“Damn it.” He exhaled, throwing his head back and starring at the ceiling.

“I’m looking for the Assassin, you seen him?”

Turning around to face her he backed up towards the glass, while his expression was covered by his helmet, his movements told her that he was wary. “Why are you looking for him? You’re not one of Nassana’s Mercs, who are you?”

Shepard took a step forward to match his retreat; the Merc jolted suddenly when the glass pain was firmly against his back. “You tell me what I need to know, I let you leave.” She purred at him; the upper hand of the ground team established by the two guns that were firmly fixed on him.

“Look pal, even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you.” He folded his arms again, cocking his head to one side trying to prove that he was unconcerned by her threats, verbal or otherwise.

“Not the answer I was looking for.” She snarled, leaning into him as his head jolted backwards in surprise to the sudden change of tone. Flashing brilliant blue as she sent out a Throw, she caused him to crash thought the pane screaming as thousands of shards glittered around him as he plummeted to the ground below.

“I _guess_ he had it coming to him.” Garrus mused as he looked carefully over the drop through the shattered window. Kicking bits of broken glass out over the edge.

“Let’s go.” Shepard bit out, annoyed with herself that she lost control of her anger. She swallowed down the bitter feeling that crept out of her chest at the thought of how she would explain her temper tantrum to Kaidan if Garrus or Grunt told him about it.

* * *

Turning back to the door, Grunt had already opened it and slipped though. Eager to get a move on and find their quarry. There didn’t appear to be any resistance in here for now but their attention was brought to an overhead duct as voices could be heard drifting down it.

“He’s all over the place!” A male voice argued, pitch rising slightly in either frustration or fear.

“What do you _mean_.” A female voice replied, Shepard nodded at Garrus who paused and then nodded back. It was a voice that they had heard before on the Citadel, Nassana.

“We got reports of him on multiple levels, we think he’s travelling through the ducts…” The man hesitated from saying anything further. Whatever was happening up there wasn’t pretty.

“I’m not paying you to _think_! Just find him! _Now_!” Nassana shrieked, there was a clatter as if things had been thrown or swept of a table.

“What the…?” The male voice muttered, distracted by something. There was a reverberation from somewhere and if what the male voice had said was true, it was likely their assassin in the venting system.

“Mechs ahead, do we move round or clear?” Garrus asked, pulling her attention back to the room. The Mechs cast long shadows thanks to the singular powerful lamp that sat high on the opposite wall. They were still powered down and from what she could make out it was a LOKI and a FENRIS tucked in tight to a stack of crates, no doubt left there out of sight for the most part to surprise anyone who shouldn’t have been here.

Grunt eyed her expectantly, his big head turned slightly to the side so he could focus on her. She turned back to the room, the pillars and gas canisters along the main wall on the right created a dark space that could be hiding anything, a risk of ambush if they tried to move around the Mechs. She frowned as she looked towards the uncapped vents releasing columns of steam into the mix, where they were was certainly more open but that might also give them the advantage.

“Lets clear.” She whispered over comms, carefully unclipping her assault rifle and flicking the muzzle towards the currently docile Mechs. The gun felt so unwieldy in her hands, she had some basic training with this type but she was by no means competent with it. Still, until she could find some thermal clips for the pistol, she was faced with Hobson’s choice over weaponry.

Garrus lined up his sniper and pulled the trigger, his bullet causing a flash of sparks to erupt from the LOKI Mech as it used the last of its remaining power to attempt to unlock and stand. The FENRIS Mech powered up and barrelled towards them, causing Shepard to send out a Throw before it got to close and attempted to drain their shields.

Their gunfire brought the two Mercs that were hiding in the shadows by the pillars to relinquish their cover. A grenade sailed over that knocked Shepard and Garrus out from their own cover and reeling backwards, suddenly exposed to the flanking attempt that was occurring.

Shepard whirled around, firing at the Elite Trooper that had got too close. Her muzzle rising up wildly as she fought to keep the gun level. While many of her rounds didn’t meet their target, the speed of firing forced the Merc to retreat, giving them some much needed breathing space.

“Grunt! On your three!” She yelled, turning her attention to the Mercs that seemed to be coming through the half completed wall at the far end of the room. The Krogan grasped his shotgun in both hands and charged at the exposed Merc, shoulder barging him into a crate and shooting him in the stomach. The Merc dropped down slowly, the wound serious but not taking him out fully. Grunt bellowed and pulled his target back to his feet, the Merc writhing in his grasp as he desperately tried to get away but going limp as Grunt headbutted him.

Garrus and Shepard continued to press forward, keeping the resistance at bay as they pushed towards where the first Mechs had been powered down. Once the last Merc went down Shepard ushered them forward, rifle up as she swept the alcoves. Turning left she spotted what must have been a makeshift comm posting for the Mercs on this level.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Garrus laughed as he approached. The sniper rifle that was propped up against the wall instantly getting his attention. Grunt was opening a chest full of cannisters of unrefined Eezo, stuffing them into pouches that were hidden about his person with a toothy smile.

“Looks like your lucky day, Garrus. Anything you can salvage off it?” Shepard stopped next to the kneeling Turian, watching as he ran his talons over the scope.

“It’s been modified, same model as mine but it appears to have micro stabilisers built in to help with accuracy.” He turned his head to look at Shepard, mandibles flaring as he tried to supress a grin. “With this even you might be able to hit something.”

“Har, fucking, har.” Shepard replied. Cocking her head as she gave him a scowl. His laughter at her response was cut short as a comm transmission buzzed into life somewhere around them. Causing all three to scan around trying to find it’s location.

“Will somebody please give me a fucking report!” The woman’s voice screeched, the higher tones turning into a crackling static as the receiver tried to cope with the sudden noise.

“Looks like the duct rat is getting to her.” Grunt chuckled; his smile more predatory than friendly.

Garrus found the comm receiver, a small headset and chucked it to Shepard who caught it deftly. Pressing the button to open the channel she brought it to her mouth like a microphone, pausing when the receiver crackled and the woman’s voice cut through again, seemingly relieved that she had finally had a reply.

“It’s about time! What’s going on down there?” Now the voice was calmer, it was identifiable as Nassana and it told them that their quarry hadn’t found his mark yet.

“I’m afraid your men aren’t able to respond, Nassana.” Shepard purred into the comm, her voice sounding soothing even when her words were anything but.

“Damn it!” Nassana yelled from the other end. Grunt smashed his fists together eager to get going. Shepard dropped the comm receiver on the ground by her boot, there was no point continuing the conversation. They knew she was still alive, so the assassin was still in play and so were their chances to intercept him.

* * *

Shepard turned and made her way up the several ramps that bisected the floors of the building. Garrus and Grunt holding her six as their boots clattered on the metal floor.

Pulling out her pistol she turned around and grinned at the pair behind her as she stooped down quickly and snatched up the thermal clips that had been left on the floor. Sliding one home she rolled her shoulders, feeling more at ease with the smaller and lighter pistol in her hands.

The ramps led up to an exposed section of the building, this must have been the part that the Salarian, Daroth, had warned them about. The floodlights illuminated circles of the floor brightly, leaving others in shadow. Even the lights from the neighbouring buildings didn’t do much to cut through the haze.

Shepard slowly crept around a large stack of boards and stole a glance at the sheer drop to their left. One wrong move was going to be very costly for them, hopefully, she could also use that to her advantage. Peering from the corner of the pile she was met with a crash of bullets kicking up dust and debris.

Greeting them was a Vanguard and a lone LOKI Mech stood guard over an incomplete door that led through the tall wall that was partially built. The Vanguard flared as their Barrier came up and they started firing at the group as they rounded the corner.

A high impact round from Grunt eliminated the Mech, the Vanguard pausing as the shower of sparks erupted from its incinerated wiring. They ducked behind a pillar, one of the few places that granted any cover. As bullets slowly chipped away at their hiding place they made a move to dash to a closer pile of boards that was haphazardly stacked against a wall. The two second sprint was all Shepard needed to send out a Warp and start picking away at them. Grunt clicked his gun and sent out an inferno round towards the feet of the Merc, sending them skittering back the way they came and flames licking up their leg as the splash damage took effect.

The ground team circled in, leaving the Merc nowhere to go and grunting in pain. With nothing for them left to lose, they broke cover and fired aggressively towards whoever came in their sights. If they were going down they were clearly hell bent on taking someone, anyone, down with them.

Shepard sent out a Pull, watching as the Merc floated lifelessly over them, face still contorted in pain and surprise. Grunt was already heading towards the door, wanting to press on now that the only barrier to the door were gone. She kicked over the pistol that the Merc had dropped, it still had half a clip in there and she ejected it, stashing it away with her remaining supply before nodding for the others to continue.

Hearing Grunt growl in frustration she sprinted forward with Garrus by her side. The Krogan was advancing towards a second Vanguard, one who must have held off hoping to be undiscovered until Grunt presented too much temptation. Shepard ducked behind a pillar as a heavy round sailed past her, Garrus crashed against her as he sought cover with her. His hardsuit scraping lightly against hers as they wriggled together to ensure that they were both out of sight.

“That was a little close.” He exhaled, taking a quick glance towards where the Vanguard had come from and then turning back to Shepard, waiting for instructions.

“Get to cover, press forward. If they’re covering that passageway then the bridge must be up there.” She said, realising that they had almost made a wrong turn by heading for the door.

“It sure looks that way from where I’m standing. No one gets Vanguards to cover a dead end.” He nodded at her and sprinted to a second pillar. The curved edges of its design making it difficult for him to position his sniper without making him exposed.

Assessing the situation, Shepard could see that Grunt had pushed forward to block their advancement. An angry Krogan that kept them back behind the ground teams advantageous cover positions. Pulling up her pistol, she didn’t take aim at the Vanguard, she instead took out a fragile crate, sending a second Vanguard skittering away as their position was compromised.

Their retreating form was sent sprawling as a sniper round hit them square in the back. The swirling Barrier that offered them some protection flickering in and out as they struggled to maintain it. The first Vanguard returned fire, a heavy round blasting the place that Garrus had just had the barrel of his gun resting not a moment before.

Pushing forward while the rocket launcher was being reloaded, they started their flanking manoeuvre again. Not wanting to push the Vanguards too far so that they could get back up easily they forced them against the single wall that had been finished. Shepard flared as she sent out a Shockwave, forcing the Mercs further into the position she wanted them in, circling around pillars with her pistol raised as she waited for her amp to cool down enough to send out another. While the Vanguards focused on her and Grunt, Garrus was able to headshot the one with the rocket launcher, their body falling forward slightly as the heavy weaponry dropped to the floor with a clatter. Grunt charged the last one, pumping his shotgun repeatedly as the pellets sprayed forwards, bloody indents left in the wall in his wake.

There was a weapon locker next to an exposed corner, a hastily constructed outpost of sorts. The outside detailing of the second Tower suggested that they were close to their crossing point. Sliding around the corner, a Vanguard yelled out to his teammate on their arrival.

“Look out! They’re behind us too!” The Vanguard flared as he called out, sending a Throw towards the group as they took shelter behind a crate. The impact ricocheted though them and they staggered out from the cover, granting the Elite Merc the opportunity to take pot-shots at them.

“We must be close, Shepard!” Garrus motioned towards the looming first Tower that could be seen. He pulled out his sniper and propped it up on the crate as he fixed his sights on the LOKI that had begun its slow advance on their position.

“You’re not getting any fucking closer!” Yelled a Commando as she dropped down onto a crate and her tech armor flashed into life over her already activated Biotic Barrier. Shepard sent out a Warp towards her but she was too quick, rolling away and into cover before it even had a chance to curve around to her. “Hold this position! Get the turrets set up!”

Grunt looked back towards Shepard, questioning if he should press forward. The addition of a more superior enemy giving his rage something to focus on. Shepard just nodded at him and singled him to advance. Watching as he charged the Vanguard, sending them flying before taking out the Elite.

A Singularity dealt with the advancing Mech, ragdolling it as it was swirled around in the ball of purple energy that held it. Shepard sent out a Warp to detonate the Biotics, the resulting explosion sending the Mech clattering into the metal panel work on the walls and the Commando dashing to the opposite side.

As the ground team pressed forward, so did the Commando. Somewhere Shepard registered that she was an Asari, and therefore highly trained. Both Biotics were trading attacks, even knowing that until their Barriers were depleted, they were nothing more than for show.

She got reckless though, leaping over a duct and advancing without using cover. While her layers of armor might have given her enough protection from one combatant, taking on three of them proved her downfall. A high impact round stripped off what was left of her defences as she stumbled into the only cover she had, but it was too little, too late. The ground team took her out with little resistance.

Rushing to the bridge, the final step, Grunt yanked a comm receiver from a fallen Merc, allowing the group to listen to Nassana desperately order the remaining Mercs to hold the bridge at any cost. 

The view was stunning as they steeped out onto the exposed walkway. The purple tones of the sky weaved its way through the curved architecture of the skyscrapers as they reached up, towards the aurora splashed atmosphere. Skycars zipped about, their lights creating patterns as they moved thought the buildings in their organised lines. The wind cut though, the fresh air diminishing the tang of blood and heated gun oil. In another time, Shepard could happily find herself up here, just revelling in the peace that could be found but when a rocket sailed overhead, any illusion was shattered.

There were a few Mercs dotted about, mostly exposed in the middle of the bridge less they be swept off the edge by a sudden gust. What they were counting on it seemed, were the two turrets that had been set up in position high above the bridge. Both erupted with heavy rounds, they were able to target over any low cover, meaning that they would need to run or be taken out almost instantly unless they could be delt with.

Shepard unclipped the sniper that Garrus had passed over to her, activating the micro stabilisers she looked down the sights as she stood by the entrance to the bridge behind high cover. It did indeed seem easier to target with than snipers she had attempted to use in the past, and she was going to need all the help she could get if they were to take out the two Turrets.

“Grunt, hold the line, don’t let anyone come too close. Garrus and I are going to immobilise the Turrets from this position and then we move.” She slid the barrel around the edge of the duct and set her sights on the Turret to the right while Garrus took the left.

“Shepard.” Grunt growled in confirmation. He tilted his head, keeping an eye on the walkway and the few Mercs that were further back and waiting for the ground team to attempt the gauntlet they had set up for them.

“Let’s make it a little competition, Shepard.” Garrus grinned as he too got into position. Last Turret down, that person buy the drinks tonight.

Shepard pulled her trigger, the glass covering the main body of her Turret shattering as the tell tale puff of smoke signalled that a heavy round had been deployed. She pulled back into cover and slid in another bullet. “You’re on.”

Grunt did not have much to do other than keep out of the way of the incoming rockets as the two snipers made short work of the Turrets. Garrus just pipped Shepard to the post, his muscle memory for reloading allowing him to shave off a few seconds and get the final shot in before Shepard could pull her trigger. She glared sideways at him as she finally squeezed, looking at him fully as the Turret on her side exploded.

“Not bad, Shepard.” Garrus almost hummed, offering his hand to shake. She clapped hers into it, grinning slightly as she pushed him away.

“Come on, time is ticking.” Pointing forward, she motioned the others to take position as she swapped back to her pistol and moved up on their six.

The comm Grunt was still carrying crackled as the static was broken with a shrill voice, Nassana was panicking. Obviously whoever was left was feeding her the information of their press across the bridge towards her sanctuary. “What the _hell_ am I paying you for?!” She all but screamed to whoever was on the receiving end. Grunt tossed the comm with a disgusted look as they got to the final staircase.

Two Vanguards had positioned themselves on the upper floor, ordering the other Mercs to rush the ground team. Shepard crouched low, flaring and bringing her Biotics to a focus in the palm of her hand before launching it upwards in a curve. She watches as the Singularity arcs down onto the stairway, dragging up a Merc and LOKI as she sends out a Warp to detonate the power hanging in the air. The two entrapped opposition members hurtle apart, the Merc clattering lifeless onto the higher platform, forcing a Vanguard to come out of cover.

Grunt is already up the stairs, his shotgun announcing his arrival as the remaining Mercs are pushed back with the option of staying out in the open or jumping down and getting flanked. They put up a fight, Grunt roars in pain as an assault rifle punctures his shields and lodges itself in his armor. Shepard holds her breath as she reads the display on her HUD and exhales shakily as the data tells her that his regen ability has kicked in.

The HUD report is a call to arms as Shepard careens up the stairs, avoiding the spread of bullets from a shotgun, Garrus is close behind, groaning at the idea of charging straight towards the direction of fire.

“You know, I’m more of a shoot from the back type of team-mate.” He grumbles as his shields deplete, forcing him to slam into cover. “There a Commando!” His voice hitches, knowing that backed into a corner, this is going to be one tough fight.

“Take out that fucking Vanguard!” Shepard yells, frustration getting the better of her as she sends out a shockwave toward the Commando to try and repel her slightly but she just skips around it, bringing up her gun and triggering her tech armor.

The blur of Krogan vaulting the Vanguards cover is punctuated with gunfire and cursing. Shepard used the opportunity to try and send a Warp towards the Commando, watching as she dodges _again._

“Fuck this shit!” She yells. Her flare now a messy halo around her as she lets her control slip. Musing angrily how this might have been ten times easier if she had just brought Kaidan. They could have Shockwaved this entire lobby in one go, repeatedly slamming this _bitch_ into the wall until she dropped dead.

“Shepard! Pull back!”

The cry out from Garrus was a fraction too late as Shepard was hit by a Warp, her defences gone and bullets flying at her. His own HUD showing him the steep drop of her life signs as she crawled into cover at his feet.

Her breathing was shallow as she waited for the medi-gel in her suit to automatically deploy. Eyes wide as she tried to see where the Commando was, knowing that in her current state she was a sitting target, literally.

She pulled a grenade from her belt, she rarely used these things as they were so unpredictable. Looking up at Garrus, she raised her eyebrows as he shrugged at her. Finding that there was nothing to lose, she threw it in., listening to the grenade split and ricochet as it bounced around before detonating in short, sharp bursts.

The Commando let out a surprised yelp, as Grunt barrelled into her, pinning her against the wall. Garrus opened his Omni-tool and tapped at the screen, watching for the sparks and buzzing as her armor shorted out. With just her Barrier to go, Grunt harassing her and Garrus removing his own assault rifle, Shepard sent out a Warp.

Grunt squinted as the bright Barrier flashed and then dimmed, he pressed his arm harder across the chest of the squirming Commando, grappling every time she went for a gun or made to use her Biotics. With her Barrier half gone she made a last stand by detonating it, throwing him off her so she could run for the stairs. Throwing herself over them and down to the lower level before the bullets could catch up.

“Let her go.” Shepard winced as she stood. Watching the Commandos retreating form as she scrambled across the bridge and out of sight. She looked towards the door that the Merc had been protecting. Unlocked at this point but closed, giving them know way of knowing if they were going to walk into an ambush or an empty room.

“You took hell of a beating, Shepard.” Garrus mused as he looked at her, noticing that whatever scarring that was on her face from where they reconstructed her had been opened further. The light glow that came from under her skin gave him pause.

“Shepard went toe to toe with an Asari Commando, and she’s still here,” Grunt laughed, clapping Shepard on the shoulder and making her groan slightly with the impact. “Not many can say they have done that. You might be a worthy opponent, even if you are Human.”

“Just give me a minute,” She said, unhooking the old medi-gel pack from under a flap in her armor and attaching a fresh one. The hiss of deployment was almost instantaneous, as was the slight sting as it got to work. The pain subsided and she stood upright, ready to get this over with as she motioned for Garrus to open the door.

* * *

They entered a circular room, two Eclipse Mercs flanked an Asari in an expensive dress as she paced before the window, surveying the horizon as the sunlight cast its final glare before dipping out of sight. A console bank placed in the middle would provide both parties with some cover should it come to that but Shepard wasn’t interested in starting another firefight, she just wanted the man who was intent on finishing this one.

The figure turned to them, the glow of the console bank giving her blue skin a sickly orange hue. Shepard felt a look of distaste creep over her features as she recognised Nassana instantly.

“Shepard, it’s been some time,” Nassana gave her a smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “Before you kill me, just tell me who hired you.” The Asari folded her arms and cocked her head to the side. A silent demand for answers that Shepard had no intention of complying with.

Behind her, Shepard heard guns being drawn. She cast a look sideways, before bringing her attention back to the Asari in front of her. “Why don’t you tell me?”

Nassana’s eyes grew wide, shoulders shaking as the stress and anger over the attack on her Tower got the better of her. “Fuck you!” She bit out through clenched teeth, pointing a finger wildly at Shepard.

“Charming.” Garrus retorted from Shepards side, a snort of disgust punctuating it as Grunt shifted on his feet. Shepard folded her arms and stood her ground, unmoved and defiant in the face of Nassana’s barely controlled outburst.

The Mercs at her side seemed unsure as to what to do, casting sideways glances as Nassana, wondering if they should have attacked already. The tension was rising, and something would have to give sooner rather than later but the sole reason Shepard was here hadn’t shown himself yet, she needed to bide her time.

“Just kill me, then,” Nassana gestured at Shepard dismissively, turning back to face the window to survey Illium one last time before her apparent demise. “I’m not playing your stupid games.”

Nassana paused, not hearing any movement behind her. She whirled back around glaring at the trio in front of her, unease growing. “Well?” She snarled at them. “You made it this far, now what?”

Shepard laughed a little and looked down, trying to compose herself, this Asari always did think everyone was out to get her. “You really think _I’m_ here to kill you?” She levelled her gaze at Nassana, motioning to remind her that she didn’t even have a gun drawn on her.

“Do you have another reason for destroying my Tower? Decimating my security?” Nassana started pacing again, her footsteps speeding up as her words came out quicker. The Mercs with her flinched, raising their guns a little higher as Shepard made a small step forward.

“Me?” She frowned as her eyes followed Nassana. “I’m just looking for someone.”

“You expect me to believe that?” The Asari paused, her voice shrill as she spat out the words. Moving closer to the consoles in the centre of the room and trying to pin Shepard with a glare. “is it credits? Is that what you want?”

Garrus grinned a little, his flaring mandibles giving the expression away. He knew as well as anyone that they didn’t need credits. Shepard stayed silent, waiting for Nassana to finish bartering for her perceived life.

“Just tell me your price, Shepard. Then we can make this problem all go away.” Nassana raised her arm and activated her Omni-tool, cocking her head at Shepard as her fingers lingered over the screen as she waited for her to state how much exactly she wanted transferring.

There was a dull thump, barely audible but it let Shepard know that the waiting would soon be over. The Mercs flicked the muzzles of their guns around wildly, adrenaline kicking in and making their movements jerky. Shepard just folded her arms and smiled. “All the credits in the world won’t make this problem go away, Nassana…”

“Who the hell gave you the right to play god?” She snapped, turning back from the window and pushing a Merc out of the way to stride over to the console and jab a finger at Shepard. “I may not be perfect but look at you, we both kill people for money. What’s the difference?”

The Mercs stepped up to the console with her, deeming the ground team the greater threat. Nassana turned back to the window, struggling to think how she could possibly talk her way out of this.

“You kill people because you think they are beneath you, they’re somehow in your way… I kill people who leave me no choice.” Shepard stared at the back of Nassana’s head as she spoke, the words quiet enough that the scuttling coming from above could be heard.

“You’ve got a choice now! You don’t have to do this!” She glanced up, nodding at the Mercs to fan out behind her. The kept their guns aimed at the ceiling, ready to fire wherever the sound came from next.

“Nassana…” One of the Mercs interrupted. Eyes wide and fear on display.

“What!” The Asari screeched, whirling to face her.

“I heard something.”

“Damnit! Check the other entrances! _Move_!”

The Merc moved out, Nassana pointed wildly at Shepard and her team as they stood their ground. “You, stay right _there._ ” She hissed.

A figure dropped down from the ceiling and twisted the neck of the remaining Merc, dropping him gently and quietly to the floor. The Commando who had gone to check the disturbance came running back to report and was instantly met with a bullet to the head.

“Who are—” Nassana started as she was pulled into an embrace that was punctuated by a single gunshot. The figure laid her down carefully on the console bank, gentle in his movements as he folded her hands over her chest and stepped back. Clasping his own hands together he bowed his head and started to chant something, too quiet for the words to be made out.

“Impressive, you certainly know how to make an entrance.” Garrus laughed, stowing his gun and making a move towards their prospective recruit.

When the figure did not reply, the Turian shot Shepard an uneasy glance. She moved forward slowly, approaching the consoles and straining to hear what exactly he was saying.

His face was in darkness as the halo of dying light framed him from behind. He paused, lifting his head slightly upon her approach.

“I was hoping to talk to you.” Shepard offered, treading carefully as she made her way around the console. Her hand hovering over her pistol as a small sense of unease crashed through her.

“I apologise, but the prayers from the wicked must not be forsaken.” His voice was almost like static, but the tone was calm. He dipped his head back down, avoiding her eyes.

“You think she deserves it?” Shepard whispered, feeling the want to be respectful of whatever this figure was doing, without really understanding why.

He lifted his head again, shaking it slightly as he spoke. “Not for her, for me.”

He looked at her fully and stepped under the little lighting that the room provided. Shepard could see the crests that ran along the side of his head, the firmness in his brow and the darkness of his eyes as he turned his attention back to his quarry. He wore no identifiable armor, just a long black jacket and undersuit that silently followed his movements.

Contemplating Nassana for a moment before continuing his path around the console that was now her deathbed, he inhaled deeply.

“The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone,” He turned to Shepard as she stepped up behind her, continuing his path around the room. Take you for example, all this destruction, chaos. I was curious how far you’d go to find me.”

Shepard turned her head to him as he stopped next to her, his form close yet completely silent as they both stood before Nassana. Inhaling steadily, he turned again to face her completely, his dark eyes locking on to hers as he spoke.

“Well, here I am.”


	10. Obeying the Code

“I’ve had to inform the Illusive Man that Thane Krios is dying.” Miranda said so matter of factly that Shepard winced. She stole a glance at Thane as he stood at the end of the large table in the Comm Room. Arms folded behind his back neatly and his gaze attentive, he didn’t look like a dying man but she wasn’t at all familiar with Drell anatomy to be able to bet credits on it.

“My condition is manageable, and it will not affect my performance in this mission, that I can assure you.” His voice hummed as he spoke, like static in his throat. Black eyes flicked between the three others as they stood at the opposite end, assessing him.

“Well, I for one am glad you’re on our side.” Jacob reassured the Drell. He laughed slightly as he said it and Thane politely nodded in response.

“Yes, I’m sure you will be an asset. The Illusive Man would never have selected you otherwise…” Miranda let the sentiment trail off, never one for sugar coating the truth she still somehow managed to make it sound like an insult.

“Thane, is there anything you need? Any way we can make you more comfortable?” Shepard asked, moving past Jacob as she went to shake hands with him and welcome him on board. He clasped her fingers in his and she felt a small surge in her Biotics. Looking down at where their fingers touched, she noted that the middle two fingers on each hand were fused together, adding to the amphibious nature of him.

“I require nothing special, however it is possible I would prefer the room I am assigned to be humid.” His dark eyes fixed on her as he spoke. She could just make out the edges of his irises as she looked deeper, their dark brown almost black and adding to the feeling that she was staring into a vacuum.

Releasing her hand, EDI interrupted the meeting to interject with the temperature and humidity readings of the vacant rooms on the ship. 

“Ah, an AI,” Thane muses as EDI awaits response to her suggestions. “Thank you, the Life Support room will be optimal.”

“You are welcome, Thane.” She replies and cuts the comm link into the room.

“I think we are done here,” Shepard turns to the Cerberus agents, “Dismissed.”

Thane stays in position at the head of the table, waiting for Shepard to make a move. His eyes scan her face as she watches Miranda and Jacob leave. Once the door closes she turns back to him, her face betraying her curiosity over events less than half an hour before.

“What is it you wish to know?” He hums at her, mouth turning up in a small smile.

Shepard can feel herself blush softly, knowing that he expected a question just from looking at her. Leaning against the table she inhaled, picking out the words to ensure that her meaning was clear.

“You said you were praying for the wicked, but also praying for yourself…” She let the question trail off as his smile softened.

“To take a life, is that not wicked?”

“Not if it is a necessity.” Shepard protested, furrowing her brow as she thought back to Torfan, trying to establish if all those lives _were_ a necessity.

“There is always another way, when you choose to take a life you must absolve for it. Become at peace so that you have a clear conscience the next time you are forced to choose.”

“How can you be so spiritual yet your chosen profession is one of so much violence?” She leaned closer, enthralled by the enigma of a man stood in front of her. Concern that she had pushed too far washed over her as he looked down to the tabletop, placing a hand quietly on the surface.

“The body and soul are separate entities by my faith. The body is a tool, to be used by others if needed. My life is one where people can choose to commit an act of murder through my body, much as you would choose to do it with your gun.” He gestured to where Shepard would have had her pistol slung on her hard suit and she looked down, imagining it to be there. Looking up again slowly she saw that Thane had fixed his gaze towards the back of the room, his hand returned to behind his back.

“I am able to recall in perfect detail every act of murder this _vessel_ has committed. A punishment of sorts that is part of my species.” He mused, voice low and reverberating as he revealed his fallacy.

“So you can never forget them…”

“No, I cannot. Every life taken is burned into my own. A growing list of names and faces that I cannot awaken from. This is why I pray for my soul, pray to absolve it from the wickedness of what the vessel has committed.”

Shepard shifted awkwardly, trying to recall if she remembered any of the faces let alone names of those she had killed. Torfan, no. She couldn’t but others, more notable ones she could. Did they haunt her though? She shook her head, as if trying to dislodge the apparent ease at which she could kill and then forget. Thane turned to her, curious as to the reason behind her movements.

“I’ll show you to your room,” She meekly replied, gesturing towards the door. Thane turned smartly on his heel and let her step though in front of her. The journey to the Crew Deck was quiet, neither of them sure what to say to each other. Shepard couldn’t help but think that even if he was quiet, if he should talk, it would be in her interest to listen to them.

Pausing outside the door she nodded at the Drell as he passed his hand through the Holo. Stepping inside she heard him inhale deeply as he surveyed what had been provided for him. Turning to face her, he clasped his hands together in front of him an bowed his head before making his way to the small desk and sitting down gracefully in the chair.

She let the door close and took a step back. He was a curious individual, more so because of what he didn’t say than what he did. He had promised her that he would join them on this mission as he wanted to bring light to the dark galaxy before his death, he hadn’t divulged if it was a personal vendetta or some other reason known only to him that inspired this belief.

Shepard made her way to the main battery, feet carrying her without even thinking about it. Knowing subconsciously that Garrus would know exactly what to make of the whole situation. She paused when she say the Turian in the doorway talking to Kaidan animatedly.

“Shepard!” Garrus called to her, forcing her feet to continue their journey. She stepped up to them forcing herself to keep her eyes on him rather than the Biotic next to him.

“I was just talking to Thane,” She said, trying to steer a conversation that Kaidan wouldn’t be able to give some smart-ass remark about. “I think you two will get along.”

“He seems to be a deep thinker, but he does know his way around a sniper…” Garrus nudged her with an elbow, grinning at her as he turned to Kaidan. “Shepard actually did pretty well with a sniper today, in another life she could have been an Infiltrator.”

She groaned inwardly, she was not looking for praise from Kaidan, or Garrus for that matter and she certainly didn’t want a conversation where they could both joke about her. Stiffening her position, she dropped into a relaxed attention and let the emotion drop from her face. Garrus stopped laughing and coughed lightly to reset his tone.

“Was there anything you needed to discuss, Shepard?” He asked, keeping his tone level and his eyes on her as she stared hard at him.

“I want to talk to you about the mission today and the ground team. I have another dossier, the Justicar I was asking Liara about. Seeing as she is here too, we should attempt to find her.”

Kaidan glanced at her, frowning as she refused to even acknowledge that he was there. His biotics buzzed under his skin, crawling around looking for an outlet. He felt hers pull in response before she seemed to restrain them, burying the energy deep inside where he couldn’t get to it. He folded his arms and stood his ground, leaning against the frame of the door and making it obvious that he was staring at her.

Shepard cursed internally as she allowed her stare to transfer to Kaidan. He raised an eyebrow at her before she pulled her gaze away. He sniggered, dropping his head to try and cover his smile. She turned back to him, watching him as her frustration manifested itself thought the blue that swirled in her eyes.

“Is something funny, Alenko?” She asked, sarcasm dripping lightly from her words. He raised his head enough to look at her, that smirk still on his face. She couldn’t contain the flutter that erupted as she looked him over, the soft light from the main battery causing his skin to almost glow in between the dark tattoos that covered him.

“just wondering when you are going to stop ignoring me, _Ma’am_.”

“About the same time you get your attitude under control.”

Garrus coughed lightly as the two Biotics stared each other down. That familiar blue glow hazing around them as they walked the line between calm and flaring. Whatever he thought was going on between them before had vanished at some point and he felt an awkwardness settle in him that he had teased Shepard over it.

The Commander turned herself slowly towards Garrus, setting Kaidan firmly in second place for her attention. The Turian shifted on his feet, unsure what to make of the situation and the tension that was radiating from the two of them.

“Finding the Justicar?” He prompted, focusing on her to get their conversation back on track.

“Yes, I want your feedback on how Grunt did.” She folded her arms and settled back to hear his opinion. Kaidan rolled his eyes to her left and mirrored her position.

“Honestly, he was impressive. For someone who has no formal training other than imprinting, that alone makes him stand out…” His faceplates pulled into a frown as he dipped his gaze, troubled over something but not articulating it.

“But?” Shepard questioned. She knew him well enough that there was something that wasn’t sitting quite right with him. His years in C-Sec had taught him to trust his instincts and this was clearly a moment where the warning bells were going off, he just had to put the puzzle together as to why.

“There’s an air of recklessness about him, if he lets that rage he’s feeling take over it could put the rest of the party in jeopardy.” His eyes flicked towards Kaidan briefly before coming back to Shepard. Kaidan hadn’t noticed the silent reference to himself but Shepard saw it loud and clear.

She hummed at the Turians words. He was right, they really needed someone with a cool head, someone who could be relied upon to be unphased by whatever situation they found themselves in. Neither Cerberus operatives were high on that list for their ties to the Illusive Man, even though Shepard was sure that Miranda wouldn’t bat an eyelid at anything.

“What about Thane?” She offered, already impressed by the Drell’s ability to separate himself from his actions. The Turian flared his mandibles slightly, lips curling back into a smile.

“Who the fuck is Thane?” Kaidan sputtered, looking quickly between the two as they started to grin at each other. This was infuriating him, it was fine if she didn’t want to talk to him after what happened in the Med Bay but fuck this if it meant keeping him out of the loop with what was going on with the crew. He was supposed to be in this mission too, whether she liked it or not.

“The Drell,” Shepard replied quickly without even looking at him. The smile that Garrus was giving her faltered slightly, realising that she hadn’t mentioned him to Kaidan at all.

“The master assassin would tick all the boxes, Shepard. But I don’t know how well two snipers would work in a ground team. Too much competition for headshots if you ask me.” He cocked his head at her, grinning at his own joke. Shepard let a laugh slip from her lips as she looked down to try and cover her own smile before composing herself and looking up again.

“Well, just about the same as having two Biotics I guess. But if you two are picking them off before I even get to them, I’m going to be the redundant one not you.”

“You won’t be redundant, who else’s ass am I going to save if you’re not there,” He paused, mind replaying what she had just said before raising a taloned hand to his chest in mock pain. “Did you just threaten to cut me off the team, Shepard?”

“How could you think that, Garrus?” She clapped him on the shoulder, the palm of her hand making a metallic clunk as she made contact with his hardsuit. “Seriously though? Take him with us to get Samara?” The playfulness was gone, slipping back into the Commander role as she contemplated the options.

Kaidan huffed, a grim smirk on his face as he resigned to the fact that she was cutting him out completely as punishment for being _him_. Bitter thoughts of this being the reason he should have kept her at arm’s length rolled around his head, it wasn’t for her safety at all, it wasn’t for his neurosis, it was because he wasn’t the fawning suck-up she wanted him to be.

“Why don’t I sit this one out, Take Thane and Kaidan?” Garrus offered out of the blue, Shepard eyeing him warily as she tried to figure out _why_ he would have even thought of stepping aside.

“Because you always have my six? No offence to anyone else on this ship but I trust you and only you with that.” She frowned at him, stepping back slightly as though the thought of him not being there was an alien concept to her.

“I’ll still always have your six but, and hear me out, if we are to stand any chance against the Collectors I need to calibrate the main gun so that we have the firepower to repel whatever they throw at us.” He stepped back, arms up in mock defence as thought he knew that she would try to argue with him. Shepard pursed her lips and turned towards Kaidan, silently appraising him.

“I’ll get you introduced to Thane before the mission at 0700” She said, colder than she wanted to. She felt under pressure to bury her annoyance at him, pressure that just made the turmoil going around in her gut worse.

Garrus turned and left them, wandering over to the console that linked up the main gun, she watched him go and could make out that he was conversing with EDI over something but not the specifics. She turned back to Kaidan, studying him as he stood silent before her.

She turned and walked back towards the mess area, stopping briefly when she didn’t hear his boots and felt his Biotics fade away. She was staring at him, watching as he rolled his eyes and unhooked his arms, sauntering over to her until he was closer than a subordinate should be to their CO.

“So, does this mean I’m not getting the silent treatment anymore?” He whispered to her, she could feel his breath on her ear and she fought down a tremor. Thankfully, he couldn’t see her close her eyes as he spoke.

“I was recruiting Thane, off the ship for one night and you assume that I’m ignoring you. You’re not the only person here, Alenko.” She bit out, turning her head slightly so that he could fully appreciate the annoyance that curled though her.

He stopped as she set off again, making the journey across the mess hall to the elevator. He watched her move, taking in how she nodded politely at the Normandy crew as she passed them, stopping to check information as it was presented to her on datapads by scurrying Cerberus lackies.

“Abi wait,” He called out, unable to stand the dismissive way she was treating him anymore. She looked up from the datapad she was holding and levelled a cold stare at him before turning back to the crewman with a smile and nod of her head. Handing back the datapad she moved off again without saying another word.

* * *

“Hey Joker,” Shepard sighed as she dropped into the co-pilots seat next to him. He didn’t look up but smirked as she sat down heavily.

“You know, we’ve got another dangerous alien on board. Why can’t you collect coins or commemorative plates or something?” His hands flew over the console in front of him, the orange glow flickered over his face like firelight.

Shepard shifted slightly in her seat, turning to face him with a grin. She enjoyed talking to Joker, his comments brash but insightful. “Garrus isn’t dangerous…” She prodded, waiting for the inevitable comeback.

“I mean, yay, we got Garrus back! That’s great because he is totally my favourite… with that pole up his ass…” He turned to her; eyebrow raised as he tried not to laugh. Shepard knew that the two of them got on well, each respectful of the other’s accomplishments and skill in their chosen field. Both of them had the same sense of humour and if they weren’t different species you could have been excused from thinking they were related.

“You have an eye for people, what do you think about Alenko?” She asked him quietly, turning to look at the diagnostics that were running on the console in front of her, idly flicking a finger up the screen to read the print outs.

“Kaidan? Well,” Joker paused, the silence causing Shepard to stop focusing on the display and listen to what her pilot was about to say. “I’d tell you to keep an eye on him, we can only hold so much crazy.”

“What makes you think he’s crazy?” She countered, unsure if she had seen anything that would make her use that term to describe him, but equally intrigued by what Joker must have seen to warrant its use.

“Ok, maybe _crazy_ isn’t quite the right word. But he is a whole bag of angry. let’s just say I wouldn’t want to piss him off.”

Shepard hummed in response, she could agree with that. He was angry, little things that would have been annoying to others tipped him over the edge. An edge that left him difficult to deal with and people wanting to give him a wide berth. But maybe, just maybe that was the reason he let annoyance roll over into anger, to keep people away.

“You know he used to be a Staff-Lieutenant when he was in the Alliance?” Shepard leant her head back against the chair and gazed out of the viewport to her side, watching people scurrying about in the docks.

“Holy shit, _Staff-Lieutenant_? how did he manage that?” Joker stopped what he was doing and turned to her, pulling his cap back so that he could look at her properly as she spoke.

“Judging by his file, ruthless determination and his Biotic ability got him fast tracked. Anderson sent over what they had on record for him.” She faced the pilot, shrugging with a slight smile when he started to frown at her, jaw slack as if he was wanting to make a retort.

“Commander,” EDI activated on the plinth next to Joker, the comm channel overhead buzzing slightly as she opened it to communicate. “Kaidan Alenko is requesting information of your location. Should I advise him of your current position or relay a do not disturb message?”

Joker laughed to her left, turning back to his console. Shepard sighed and looked up, almost hoping an answer would be there.

“You an inform him, thanks EDI.”

“As you wish, Commander.” The comm clicked off. Shepard waited for the inevitable appearance of the topic of her conversation with Joker.

They sat in silence, waiting for Kaidan to show up but he never did. Shepard mused to herself that he was probably wondering where she was so that he could avoid it. Checking the clock on her Omni-tool she stretched out and pulled herself from the relative comfort of the chair, Joker was right about Cerberus providing them with the modern comforts of a passenger frigate.

“I should go, mission starts at 0700. Were docked, you should get some rest too.” She patted Joker lightly on the shoulder, mindful not to apply too much pressure lest she ended up injuring him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He smirked, his hands still flowing effortlessly over the console in front of him. He didn’t look up or wave her off. She turned to leave, meandering back to the elevator and the sanctuary of her cabin.

* * *

Her internal clock got her out of bed before her alarm rang out, she looked at the tank as her eyes adjusted to the bright blue light that bathed her surroundings. Maybe when she had some time she could actually get some fish in there, but then she would also have to keep up with feeding them and it was hard enough to make sure she was eating three square meals a day.

Throwing back the sheet she stretched out before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed up the clothes that she would need for the day. A quick shower gave her the jolt of energy she needed before she was able to replace it with caffeine and she shrugged into her undersuit before running her hands through her damp hair to get it out of her face.

Padding over to the elevator she descended to the Crew Deck. The night shift were just finishing up before crawling into their sleeper pods or bunks in the Crew Quarters. Mess Sergeant Gardner wasn’t in the galley so Shepard was left to her own devices to select what she wanted to start the day.

Dropping her boots to the floor she filled the pot with coffee, setting it off as she pulled down some mugs from the cabinet above the prep area.

“EDI, can you inform Thane and Kaidan that I require them to be mission ready and in the airlock at 0700?” Shepard didn’t look up to address one of the many comm speakers, she knew that the AI was always listening for any requests that required her input. Shepard wasn't disappointed when the static of the open comm link was heard.

“Both Thane Krios and Kaidan Alenko have been informed, Commander.” EDI replied, having performed the task simultaneously.

“Any response from them?” Shepard queried, wondering if Kaidan had complained about it at all.

“Thane provided an affirmative to the request.” EDI went silent again, comm link still upon in case there was further questions for her.

Shepard just nodded, watching the coffee filter though into the pot. She was startled slightly when EDI spoke up again.

“Kaidan is already on his way. Elevator stopping on Crew Deck.”

Raising her eyebrows, she pulled another mug towards her, anticipating that he would want a coffee if he was on his way here. Activating her Omni-tool the screen told her that they had just over thirty minutes before she had expected them at the airlock and ready to go. There was time for coffee, she reassured herself as she waited for the other Biotic to arrive.

Kaidan jolted to a halt as he stepped around the corner from the elevator, his eyes landing on Shepard as she stood watching the coffee pot. He had hoped that she would be busy in the Armory, sorting through weaponry or armor pr just chatting to Jacob as she often did. Seeing her here, on her own made him feel nervous, something he was not used to feeling.

He swaggered over to the galley, pulling open a drawer and snagging a protein bar as he leant casually against the surface. tearing open the wrapper he started nibbling it as he watched her from the corner of his eye.

“I didn’t think you would be up and about so quickly.” She quipped, switching the pot off from percolating and setting the plate to warm. She poured the rich brown liquid into the cups in front of her a slid one towards Kaidan before adding the sweetener and milk substitute often found on space-faring vessels to hers.

“You requested that we were at the airlock for 0700, even I have to get ready.” He shrugged as he sorted his own coffee, pulling a face and shaking his head as he tasted it. “I see this hasn’t improved since _I_ was in the Alliance.”

She laughed, the humour in his statement taking her by surprise as she let go of the tension flooding though her. Kaidan couldn’t help but smile at her sudden release. Bringing his cup up to try and hide his grin. Shepard raised her cup to salute his opinion as he was right, the coffee on ships always tasted like shit compared to the stuff you could get back on Earth, or even on the Citadel.

“Am I interrupting, Commander?”

Both Biotics turned in the direction of Thane as he made his presence known. Neither had heard him arrive so his voice brought them back into the room with a thud.

“No not at all. Thane, this is Kaidan.” She motioned between the two men as they both held out their hands for the other to take. Kaidan smirked as contact was made, feeling the inevitable buzz of Biotics emanate from the Drell stood in front of him.

“Another Biotic, I feel like I’m being replaced.” His sour tone wasn’t missed by Thane, who furrowed his brow as he slowly let go of the hand he was shaking before clasping his own behind his back.

“Coffee, Thane?” Shepard asked, pulling the third cup to her, reaching for the pot.

“No, thank you. I have never found the taste of coffee appealing.” Thane responded as quickly as he could before Shepard had a chance to pour the drink out. He smiled his thanks at her offer though, appreciative that she was treating him as though he had been present on the ship longer than one night.

“We have other drinks, although… I’m not sure if Drell can drink things that Humans can?” She hesitated, concerned that she might have just offered a dying man something that could have outright killed him. Her unease was released when he confirmed that they could and she found herself smiling at him in return.

The start of the morning shift on the ship had started as they stood in the galley. Other crewmen squeezed around them as they scurried to find their own morning meals before the clock called them to their posts. EDI raised the lighting level, causing everyone to squint slightly under the sterile lights that beamed down over them. Shepard tipped her mug back and downed the last of her coffee, her morning nectar finished.

“Commander, may I ask why you are requiring my presence with you today?” Thane asked as he fell into step beside her as she moved towards the elevator. Kaidan grunted and fell behind them, making his displeasure at being pushed out by the new recruit known.

“Well,” She inhaled, she needed a better reason than she was curious about him. “You’re handy with a sniper for one. Having someone that can deal with long range is and advantage. Plus, I’ve only seen the aftermath of you in action. Aside from what happened in the penthouse. I like to know how my people fight, figure out strengths and weaknesses…”

“I understand. I endeavour to not let you down.” Thane nodded and entered the elevator, standing to the side and facing the doors. He was imposing as he stood there silently. His dark eyes that bore into you without giving away any thoughts that might have flitted behind them and his reputation that went before him.

Shepard motioned for Kaidan to enter, he sloped in, leaning roughly against the back wall as his eyes followed Shepard. She gave him a quizzical look as she selected the Armory, cocking her head slightly to silently ask him what the hell was going on. Kaidan looked down for a second before bringing his eyes to her, heat evident in them as her mind came back to what happened last time they were in the elevator together.

The doors opened and Thane stepped out, hesitating slightly until Shepard moved around him and tapped his arm for him to follow her. “It can be a bit of a maze. Certainly threw me when I first came on board as it’s twice the size of the original Normandy.”

He smiled politely and followed her.

* * *

“Jacob, did you manage to get any ideas from that sniper Garrus found?” Shepard called over as she clipped on her armor. Thane and Kaidan just waited, neither opting for anything more than the clothes that they currently wore.

“Yes Ma’am, the micro stabilisers can be used across all of the weaponry we have to improve stability and accuracy. The Eezo Grunt found can get us part way there but we will need to restock before we can add it to all of them.” He held out a datapad in front of her so she could read the research while still pulling on the last bits of armor.

“That’s solid work, make sure you get some rest though, sleepy equals sloppy.” Clipping her gauntlet together she walked over to the weapons cabinet and pulled out her pistol and attached it to the clip on her waist. She threw Kaidan’s shotgun to him, a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as he caught it deftly in one hand and then clipped it to the back of his belt.

Motioning to Thane, he collected up the sniper and pistol he had brought with him. Checking over the mechanisms and nodding to himself at the handiwork that had gone into cleaning them overnight.

“Are we going now?” Kaidan asked, heading to the door. Impatient to get off the ship and get back to what he was good at. Especially now that he felt he had to impress the Drell to ensure that Shepard still thought he was worth having around.

Shepard pulled up her Omni-tool and checked the time, she hoped that the Officer that they needed to see was going to be at her desk, partly the reason why she wanted to get in there so early.

“Yeah, lets move out. See you later Jacob.” She motioned with her hand for the two to fall out.

“Shepard.” Jacob nodded, pulling a smart salute as she left. She returned it with a small grin.

* * *

The skycar dropped them off at the shipping dock where they hoped to find Officer Dara. There were few people around and the office was a beacon in the gloom of the morning as the city waited for the sun to rise. In the lights that bathed the office, Shepard could see an Asari in what looked like BDU’s leaning over her console at her desk, she looked animated as she talked to whoever was on the other end of the Comm, rotating a small box in her hands.

As the ground team approached they could overhear her talking about the labelling for what could only be assumed a drug that had found itself legal on Illium if nowhere else. Waiting for a natural pause in the conversation, Shepard moved through the open door and approached the Officer.

“Can I help you with something?” Dara asked, warmly. Turning to the trio in her seat as her hand muted the call on her console.

“I’m looking for an Asari warrior named Samara.” Shepard left her hands by her sides, trying to look as open and easy going as possible. Something that wasn’t easy when dressed in full armor, armed and with two teammates at your back.

Officer Dara didn’t seem phased, Shepard presumed that judging by the lax rules here and the sheer number of Mercs that had decided to take up work here, armor and guns were not worth a blink of an eye. What did seem to trouble here was she Shepard had said.

“Wait, why?” She glanced at her console, fingers flashing over keys as she logged into a database of some sort. “Do you have a problem, or…” She blanched slightly, skimming over whatever information was in front of her. “Did, did she kill someone already?”

Shepard raised her hands, trying to calm the increasingly frantic Officer who was now on her feet, reaching for her ID badge and gun. “Relax, I just need to speak to her.”

Dara visibly sagged at the news. Taking her seat again she closed down the database and pulled her cup to her, grimacing as she tasted the contents. Returning her attention to Shepard, she smiled and pulled forward a datapad.

“Good.” She laughed to herself slightly. “Samara is the first Justicar I’ve seen on Illium. If I’m really lucky, things will stay peaceful.”

“Do you know where she is?” Shepard asked, hopeful that they weren’t too far behind her.

“Report says that she went to the commercial spaceport a few hours ago, whole precinct is keeping tabs on her so as there’s no further update, she should still be there.” Dara pushed the datapad away and sat back in her chair, waving a hand in the direction of a transit hub behind them. “You can summon a cab at the console behind you, take you straight to the port.”

“Thanks, sorry for disturbing you.” Shepard turned to go and felt a hand pull her back. Dara was on her feet and her expression apologetic.

“Just, just be polite to her when you meet. Justicar’s embody our highest laws and they usually stay in Asari space…” Shepard’s confused expression prompted Dara to continue, leaning forward slightly so she could drop her voice to a whisper. “She’s not used to dealing with aliens.” Dara nodded, the motion gesturing to the trio of non-Asari gathered in her office. Shepard understood the implications all too well.

“Yeah, I’ve dealt with people like that before.” She mused, more for her own benefit than Officer Dara. Shepard’s mind fell back to the old Normandy crew, how Pressly and Williams both had their doubts about the alien crew that Shepard seemed to draw to her. Luckily, Pressly decided to adjust his feelings after working with them. Williams, well, Williams attitude had forever been her limitation, even in death.

Dara nodded, raising her eyebrows quickly as she too recalled dealing with similar people. She stepped back from Shepard and released her arm, concern clouding her face once more.

“Just be careful, a Justicar would die without hesitation to protect the innocent but their Code orders them to stop lawbreakers, with lethal force in most cases. With everyone skirting the law somehow on Illium… Let’s just say that if someone tried to bribe her, she’d be obliged to gun them down as a matter of honour. I’m hoping to avoid that…” Dara sat back down heavily, the message read loud and clear by Shepard. Thane hummed in acknowledgement behind her, he too apparently understanding of this Code that Samara lived by.

“I get it, be respectful and don’t cause a diplomatic incident.” Shepard reached out and shook Dara’s hand, signalling the end of their meeting and she turned again towards the console, leaving Officer Dara to go back to her Comm link.

* * *

The cab ride was short as they drifted towards the Commercial Spaceport and their slow decent allowed the ground team time to take in their location.

“There seems to be a high Turian guard presence…” Shepard noted as she turned to face the two men behind her. Kaidan looked out of the window again, his eyes flicking to each pair that seemed to be based at the entrance to the individual docks. Thane was watching an Asari chase down a Volus, an angry exchange being conducted, at least on the side of the Asari.

The skycar touched down, the stabilisers rocking slightly as it found its level position. Opening the hatch, the Asari’s voice carried over to them as they got out. The ground team exchanged looks as they listened. The Volus was breathing heavily as he protested his innocence in whatever murder had occurred. The Asari appeared unmoved.

“Hey! The victim was your business partner. That means I’m not ruling you out. _I’ll_ let you know when you can leave.” The Asari folded her arms, glaring down at the Volus as he hung his head slightly. While his actual expression was unreadable, his movements as he made his way slowly back to wards the main building portrayed dejected acceptance of his grounding here until the Asari was satisfied of his innocence.

Shepard took the moment to look around. The Commercial Spaceport was clearly a hub in a collection of ports here on Illium, its fairly small size suggested it was used to facilitate the commercial business enterprises of private individuals if the cargo ships that were currently in dock were anything to go by.

The sun was still making its slow climb into the sky and from their position, it seemed that the apartment and business towers preferred their locations to be closer to the main trading floors, so whatever light was creeping over the horizon was mostly undisturbed in its path over to them. The Asari spotted the ground team as she strode back to her office and raised an eyebrow at them. Shepard took that as a cue to follow her and ask about the whereabouts of Samara.

Shepard pushed through the door to the office that the Asari had walked into. The large windows giving the inhabitants views of all the comings and goings. There was a buzz in the atmosphere, staff rushing with datapads in their arms, pulling files from boxes and calling out to each other over the long room. She looked at Thane, hoping that he had seen where the Asari from outside had gone and he simply pointed to a back desk, obscured from view behind a low wall.

As the ground team approached the Asari leant back in her chair, narrowing her eyes at them as she assessed them.

“Nice guns,” She smirked, waving a hand in the general direction of the trio as they stopped in front of her desk. “Try not to use them in _my_ district. Detective Anaya here, What can I do for you?” Her voice was gruff and almost sarcastic as she spoke to them, she gave off the air of someone who had seen too much shit to keep up the pleasantries.

Shepard sat down in the vacant chair, relaxing as the Asari turned back to her screen as she waited to find out what other mess she was going to have to probably deal with.

“I’m looking for an Asari warrior,” She began, before the Detective in front of her laughed a little.

“Aren’t all Humans?” She quipped, turning back to Shepard and folding her hands on her desk.

“This particular one you might have heard of, I’m looking for Samara.” Shepard watched as the Detectives eyes dropped to the keypad in front of her and hardened at the name. She pushed her cup to one side and slapped her hand firmly on the top of the desk.

“Look, if you have a score to settle with Samara, take it somewhere else. I’ve got enough trouble around here without you starting a grudge match.” Detective Anaya stared at her hard, in the hundreds of years she had been doing this job she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind to whoever was asking.

“I’m not here to start a fight, I just need to speak to her. I need to recruit her to a mission and then we’ll be on our way.” Shepard frowned, concerned that both Officers seemed convince that trouble was being sought rather than council when it came to Samara.

“Justicars usually work alone… but they are drawn to impossible causes…” Anaya mused, dismissing their chances with a wave of her hand. “But, if you’re getting her out of my district, I’ll get you to her ASAP. Getting you what you want gets me what I want.”

“I thought Justicars were revered by the Asari, how come you want rid of her so much?” Shepard leaned back in the chair; something wasn’t feeling right but she couldn’t out her finger on why.

“The top brass want her detained, scared she will cause some sort of cross-species diplomatic incident. Damn Turians don’t understand or don’t care that her Code _won’t_ let her be detained, if I try, she’ll kill me rather than comply.” She laced her fingers together as she rested her elbows on the desk, eyeing Shepard as the Commander sat still, listening. “I have no interest in dying, especially due to a fools errand so if you lure her away with some big noble cause before I have to carry out my orders, I’m _thrilled_ to help you.”

“Your boss is sending you to certain death for no good reason, you have a right to disobey.” Shepard baulked at the idea of what Anaya’s superiors were asking her to do.

“I wasn’t told I could say no…” Kaidan quipped behind her to Thane, The Drell coughed lightly, as Kaidan struggled to swallow down a giggle.

“I’m right there with you am I not? I don’t tell you to go commit suicide by someone else’s gun while I sit in the Comms Room and watch vids.” Shepard stood up, turning to Kaidan. He had the decency to look embarrassed as she stared at him, not sure where his defiance and ridicule for her had come from all of a sudden.

“Regardless,” Anaya continued, not wanting to sit there while they squabbled. “I’m a Detective, I know my duty. I’ve been given an order to detain her and I will follow it though, _once_ I have exhausted all other avenues of getting her to leave of her own free will.”

“Where can we find her, Detective?” Thane asked, setting his dark eyes on the Detective.

“She’s at the crime scene around the corner. Go out, take a left, look for the police line. I’ll send word you’re going in.” Anaya tapped on her console, a comm line crackled open as she relayed the information to the Officer stationed on guard.

Shepard ushered Kaidan away, still prickling at his comments about disregarding her orders. Thane gave their thanks to the Detective, exchanging a final word with her that Shepard was too far away to catch.

* * *

“Did she have any parting words for us?” She asked the Drell as he finally left the building, pulling the collar of his jacket forward and straightening out his sleeves. He looked to her, expression guarded before starting to talk.

“She has informed us that there are Eclipse Mercenaries crawling over the back alleys here currently. Due to the professional nature of the hit that was taken out on the Volus, she has concluded that it is not likely to be an opportunist junkie.”

“So we might be facing some resistance?” She looked back in the window towards the Detective, watching as she scrabbled around in a pile of datapads while another Officer stood patiently in wait. Why she hadn’t brought this up earlier, Shepard couldn’t work it out.

“It appears so.” He stood silently, waiting for the next move.

“They’re professional killers. Trade in Red Sand, illegal weapon tech and smuggle criminals as well as goods off worlds.” Kaidan muttered as he stared towards the holo police line in the distance. He shoved his hands in his pockets, mouth set in a grim line as he fell silent again.

“You have experience with them?” Shepard asked tentatively. She wasn’t all too sure of what exactly he had been caught up in before he ended up on Purgatory, but for him to be there it wasn’t legal, that was for sure.

“I paid them to get me off Omega, they took my credits and then sold me off to the Blue Suns. Apparently, they offered more than I did.” Kaidan looked at her from the corner of his eye, checking her reaction. Knowing that the Eclipse were here and possibly involved now made this personal, he hoped that Shepard would understand because it was going to be tough for both of them if she didn’t.

She stepped up to him and pushed him roughly backwards, away from the holo line. He stumbled a little, looking annoyed at her sudden aggression towards him.

“Is this grudge going to cause a problem, because I can’t afford to have this opportunity squandered due to emotions.” She stared at him, slipping into her military training as she gave him nothing to read, nothing to gauge her own feelings about this from. His hand slipped out from his pocket and ran though his hair before rubbing the back of his neck. She knew that he was battling his own demons with this as well as the thought that she might send him back to the ship if he couldn’t convincer her that he could keep on track.

“I’ll be fine. You tell me to jump and I ask how high. I’ve done this before, _Commander_.” He inadvertently grit his teeth together, annoyance at being so close to revenge and having it pulled out from under him. She raised an eyebrow, and he knew that he was on the verge of being dismissed. “I can do this. I haven’t let you down yet, have I?”

She remained silent; he had let her down. Just not in the way he was implying. She simply turned away from him and strode to the Officer on duty. Kaidan swore under his breath, kicking at the floor before he went to follow her and causing Thane to glace at him, concern obvious on his face.

Stepping up next to her he rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen the tension in his neck as he tried to recall his own training on compartmentalising, trying to do what Shepard found second nature. The Officer was already in conversation with her, commenting about how the Merc activity was already rife in the streets behind them.

This was not going to be easy and Kaidan wasn’t sure if he could keep emotions out of it once he came face to face with those who had sold him out.


	11. Dossier: The Justicar

Shepard pulled her pistol out as she rounded the first corner into the back alleys of Illium. Thinking back to what Garrus had said about this being no safer than Omega, the Merc activity here sure had the same ring to it, it was just cleaner, or at least appeared to be.

The lighting was hazy, the warehouses and back alleys built around vents and ducts that needed to be hidden from view on the more ‘professional’ trading floors. Keeping all the unpleasant factors of city life away from where it would spoil the illusion made this feel like the Citadel. Where those with the credits and power behind them existed in a perfect bubble, a million light years away from how the people who toiled to keep them propped up lived.

Sneaking forward, the team silently made their way up a short flight of stars to their left before Shepard raised her fist to bring them to a halt as voices could be heard. She pressed herself against a bulkhead and steadied her breathing, straining to pick up the words over the creaking and reverberations that echoed through the pipework.

“Get the rest of Bravo squad prepped, Alpha went after that Justicar twenty minutes ago and they’ve gone dark.” Shepard could make out an Asari in Tech armor giving orders to another Merc. The Asari stayed in position has she watched the Human move away and activate the comm in her ear, obviously getting the Bravo squad up to speed.

“One Vanguard, one Merc. Merc currently getting a team together to go after Samara. First team eliminated. Three LOKI Mechs present.” She whispered over their private comm link. Thane nodded his acknowledgement at the update while Kaidan grimaced.

She signalled for Thane to take position on the other side of the corridor, his movement was ghost-like as he appeared with his back against the large stack of crates, priming his sniper. Shepard grabbed Kaidan’s arm, pulling him to her as she waited for Thane to make the shot. His Biotics swarmed over her as they stood to the side, she glanced up at him trying to silently get him to calm down. He gave her a half smile before turning his attention back to Thane, waiting for the trigger to be pulled so he could start his own brand of fireworks.

Thane calmly lined up his shot, the barrel of his gun hidden from the lights that would have glinted off the metal. Finger on the trigger, he pulled smoothly, the sound alerting the Mercs before him but the bullet already having met its mark. “One falls.” He muttered before swiftly pulling a LOKI towards him with lightning reactions, drawing his pistol and firing twice. Dipping back behind the crates he turned to Shepard and Kaidan as bullets hailed down around him.

She took the opportunity and stepped out slightly, holding onto Kaidan’s arm as she drew her Biotics together and hurled a Reave at the Vanguard. She felt Kaidan shudder next to her as the familiar purple and red energy swirled around them, stealing a glance at him to see he had closed his eyes.

Dipping back out of sight she heard the Vanguard bellow in frustration. “A fucking _Human_! Open fire!”

The new distraction provided Thane the opportunity to snipe another Mech as it began its slow march towards them. The Vanguard had taken up position behind a crate, allowing the remaining Mech to deal as much damage as it could before inevitably being taken out. She sent a Throw out to the wall where Kaidan and Shepard stood, the blue of Biotics splashing out as it collided with the metalwork they were taking shelter behind.

Kaidan stepped back slightly, bringing Shepard’s hands to his waist as he levelled his eyes with hers. He could feel Thane watching them, silently observing whatever strange performance was going on to his right. Raising his arms, Shepard gritted her teeth and leant forward, their combined flare turning white at the edges as Kaidan clapped his hands together in front of them and sent a wide Shockwave out.

Shepard turned as she heard the clatter of boots on the floor, still in Kaidan’s arms and the last flash of Biotics still lingering over them she curled a Warp around the corner, the Vanguard now totally exposed in their position and armor. Thane raised his arm, pistol in hand and steadily emptied the clip in the Mercs direction. Her pained hiss the last sound as she fell to the floor and the sounds from the vents filled the silence.

Thane stepped back to them as Shepard brought her hand up to the back of her neck, tentatively feeling the heat radiating from her amp. Popping the used clip out and inserting another he raised his brow at the two Biotics as they slumped against the wall.

“A Human who can Reave and a pair of soldiers who can kill a squad without pulling a trigger. You did not inform me of your formidable prowess, Commander. I almost feel surplus.” He clipped his pistol to his side and pulled out his Omni-tool, scanning the area. Satisfied that it was clear he gestured towards the holo police line that was at the end of the corridor.

Shepard crossed through the cordon and dropped her hand thought the holo on the door. It split open, allowing them to enter. Stepping though as a group, Shepard had to move back suddenly as the body of a Merc was hurtled at the wall to her left. Pistol drawn she quickly swept her gaze over the room, trying to see who or what had managed to create a Throw that powerful.

Kaidan motioned to a balcony, where the yellow armor of a retreating Merc was visible. The ground team crept slowly forward, keeping their noise to a minimum, not wanting to draw the ire to themselves.

“Those were my best troops!” The Merc yelled, defiant even as she was being backed into a corner.

Another voice was heard, calm and almost soft as she presented the Merc with her only option. “Tell me what I need to know and I will be gone from here.”

The ground team shared glances, they could all feel the Biotics being barely contained from the figure on the balcony. Kaidan shrouded himself in a Barrier on instinct, pulling his shotgun free, whatever ego boost that Thane had given him early gone now that the ante had been upped.

“Where did you send her?” The figure asked, never raising her voice. There was a soft clicking as her footsteps brought her briefly into view.

Thane raised his sniper, setting himself up behind a row of barrels as Kaidan and Shepard moved further into the room. Shepard stole a glance at the man next to her as she caught a glimpse of the chaotic blue haze that swirled over the figure. Maybe she had been too critical about his own flairs, maybe it was just a sign of his power and she shouldn’t have tried to get him to rein it in.

The Merc circled around, trying to get to an escape route as she held off the figure for as long as she could. She coughed out a laugh, the figure had just asked her to choose between pissing off her boss or this figure in front of her. “You think I would betray _her_? She would hurt me in ways you can’t imagine.”

The figure was unmoved, she pressed forward with her steps, forcing the Merc to back-pedal. “The name of the ship. Your life hangs on the answer, Lieutenant.” Her voice remained calm, even if the words spoke of increasing frustration as her Biotics frothed over her frame.

“You can kill me, but one of us _will_ take you down, Justicar.” The Merc laughed, gun raised but waving wildly in her trembling hands. Shepard nodded at Kaidan, this must be Samara, and he dropped his Barrier. Thane stepped out to join them as they waited.

Samara raised her hand, catching the Merc in a Throw that forced her against the back wall of the balcony. She pulled her arm back gracefully and sent the Merc hurtling thought the decorative glass that separated the main side of the balcony. Plumes of shards following in her wake as she landed on the floor with a sickening thud.

Samara ran towards the shattered pane as the Merc tried to drag herself into hiding. Leaping off the balcony she activated her Biotics, floating down to the ground and landing lightly. The Merc doubled her efforts to escape, eyes wide as the Justicar approached her rapidly.

Samara firmly placed her boot on the Mercs neck, leaning over her as the other woman desperately clawed at the Justicars ankle. “What was the name of the ship she left on?” Samara asked again, her tone level.

The Merc wriggled in a futile attempt to dislodge the boot that was slowly crushing her windpipe. In a last act of defiance, she gurgled a scream before grinning up at the looming figure that stood over her. “Go to hell.”

Samara looked down, her expression devoid of any emotion. The silence was drawn out long enough for the Merc to start panicking again. Finally, Samara spoke. “May you find peace in the embrace of the Goddess.” The gurgling from the Merc stopped with the sound of popping as the Justicar twisted her leg.

She looked up as Shepard started to approach, the glow of her Biotics faded as she stepped slowly from the body on the floor and made a move into the middle of the room. Her expression was almost serene, indifferent to the power and violence she had just used on the Eclipse Merc that lay crumpled on the ground.

“My name is Samara,” She soothed, stealing sideways glances at Shepard and the men behind her. “I am a servant of the Justicar Code. My quarrel is with these Eclipse sisters. But I see three well armed people before me.”

Samara took a step closer, her pale blue eyes pinning the trio to the spot. Lifting her chin she addressed them once more. “Are we friend, or foe?”

Shepard brought her eyes down to the limp foot that was visible from behind an overturned barrel. Furrowing her brow, she regarded the Asari in front of her, understanding now _why_ the people she had spoken to about the Justicar had been so perturbed by her presence.

“Do you kill everyone who won’t help you?” She asked, slightly defiantly. She was struggling to reconcile how Justicars were held in such high regard when they clearly murdered those who wouldn’t give them what they wanted. They seemed little better than hired Mercs.

“If my cause is important enough, yes. Are you different?” Samara regarded Shepard patiently, seeming surprised that the question had been asked.

“I’ve killed enemies, but with good reason.”

“I answer to a Code that is clearly defined. If my actions are true to the Code, then I am just. If they are not, then I am unjust.” Samara smiled lightly at Shepard leaving the Commander feeling like she was being spoken to as if she were a child. “I don’t pretend it is a simple matter, or that it seems right to everyone. But, I sleep well at night, and that is more than most can say. As such, how may I be of service to you?”

Shepard could feel Kaidan struggling to keep his annoyance under control behind her, even Thane seemed unsure of his odds against a Justicar. She stared back into Samara’s cold blue eyes and matched the Asari’s tone.

“I’m going up against suicidal odds, and I need the best. That’s you.”

Samara looked down suddenly, her posture relaxing as she clasped her hands behind her back. Nodding slightly at Shepard she smiled again as she spoke. “I sense the truth in what you say, and it humbles me. But I seek an incredibly dangerous fugitive.”

The Asari turned away, troubled and pensive. She paced the floor slowly, her boots clicking on the metal floor in a regular steady rhythm that almost ticked away the seconds that they waited for her to continue.

“I cornered her here, but the Eclipse sisters smuggled her off-world. I must find the name of the ship she left on before the trail goes cold.” The Justicar stood facing away from them, surveying the skyline that could be seen from the hanger of the shipping yard before returning the Merc that lay lifeless on the floor. A set of footsteps that came from outside of the room caused all four of them to turn around, cautiously waiting to see who the sounds belonged to.

Detective Anaya steeped into the room, pushing at boot at the dead Merc by the door and sighing. She stared at Samara with an expression that struggled to hide the annoyance at the scene before her.

“I wish you were willing to just go with the Human, Justicar. I’ve been ordered to take you into custody if you won’t leave.” She gestured behind her, apparently trying to make it clear that it wasn’t her decision to do this.

Samara made her way over, stopping in front of the Detective. Her action skirting the line between friendly and predatory. Anaya stood her ground, one hand on her belt and resting near her gun.

“You risk a great deal by following your orders, Detective. Fortunately, I will not have to resist.” The Justicar smirked a little as Anaya breathed out a sight of relief, her hand falling away from its position near her weapon. “My code obligates me to cooperate with you for one day. After that I must return to my investigation.”

“I wont be able to release you that soon…” Anaya winced, unsure now if it wasn’t just her life on the line.

“You won’t be able to stop me.” Samara stated simply. Her hands once more clasped behind her.

“What’s the point? She’s trying to keep the bloodshed to a minimum and you’re going to kill her for it just so you can get what _you_ want? Why don’t you just kill her now and get it over with instead of hiding behind this bullshit charade of a Code?” Kaidan mocked, his words tumbling out at the seemingly absurd position of untouchable god that Samara seemed to have taken on. He was starting to think the Mercs had more respect for the laws they lived under than this Asari did.

Shepard put her hand out to stop him, while she was not too happy with how this particular Justicar seemed to operate now was not the time to point it out. She needed Samara if this crazy mission was to succeed and if the Illusive Man thought she was required, then there must be a good reason. If she lost her, then there was a chance that this would all be for nothing.

“There must be a way we can all get what we want?” She asked, looking between the Detective and the Justicar.

“I see a way. While I am under the care of the Detective, you find the name of that ship.” Samara narrowed her eyes at Shepard, pursing her lips as she waited for the agreement to the proposal that was now the only way out of the deadlock.

Shepard stared hard, trying to see if the Justicar would put up any offer of confidence that she wouldn’t just leave after they had found what she was looking for. She knew that she had been backed into a corner, a feeling that let itself known by the ripple of blue she couldn’t keep in.

“Do that, and I _will_ join you. Then the Code will be satisfied.” The Justicar motioned for Anaya to lead the way back to the office, the Detective turned to go, looking a strange mixture of satisfied and concerned.

“One moment you said that you would stop at nothing to continue your investigation, now you’re going to drop it and join us?” Shepard asked as the Justicar stepped level with her.

“If I stay, I will be compelled to kill many innocents to escape incarceration. In that, I myself may be killed, leaving my quarry to continue murdering. Joining you will save more lives than any other outcome.”

“I thought we were told that Justicar’s laid down their lives to protect the innocent. This one seems intent on murdering them, you sure she’s worth it?” Kaidan asked in Shepards ear, loud enough that he knew Samara would hear him. Shepard frowned as he spoke, she was worried that he might be right. Samara ignored him and turned after the Detective, her movements slow and smooth as she walked away.

Shepard turned on Kaidan the moment that the ground team were alone, her face flushed with anger at his insubordination. She slammed her palm against his chest, knocking him backwards as her Biotics flared around her.

“Don’t you _ever_ do that again! If we lose her, we lose the mission, if we lose the mission this whole galaxy could be wiped out.” She was almost snarling at him, it was taking everything she had to stop herself Throwing him across the room to get him out of her sights.

“She’s no better than a criminal, how is her god complex going to help you exactly?” Kaidan pushed himself back in her space, his breath rolling over her cheeks as he spoke. She could feel his Biotics coiling against her own, tangling together as they stood staring each other down.

Thane stepped up muttering under his breath as he situated himself between the two Humans, turning his back to Kaidan an facing Shepard. His dark eyes focused on her as he waited for her to calm down.

“You think that she’s going to let us down to?” She asked him, incredulously. From her brief conversation with the Drell she thought that he out of all of them would understand Samara’s conviction.

“I do not, she is a fearsome warrior and will fight to the death for what is just. Arashu asks that I protect those in danger.” His voice cut through Shepard, the haze of anger dropping as his meaning became clear. He wasn’t facing her to side with Kaidan, he was facing her to ensure she didn’t hurt him. She stepped back, the blue glow receding fast as she brought herself back under the strict control that she prided herself on.

“Where do we start?” Shepard sighed, looking past Thane at Kaidan, trying to catch his eye. The Drell straightened himself up and stepped aside, bringing the group back together as equals.

“If what I have overheard is correct, the Volus in the dock might be the key to the door.” The Drell looked between the Humans in front of him, the tension not entirely laid aside but the Commander at least had put the differences to one side and returned focus to the mission at hand.

“The Volus?” Kaidan asked, cocking his head as he tried to understand where the connection lay.

“Yes, he appears to be involved in the Detectives murder investigation. The one where she is convinced that it was a professional hit. If we ask him what he knows, and enquire as to his business partners dealings with the Eclipse, we may find out way in.”

Shepard nodded slowly, the puzzle pieces falling into place. Rolling her shoulders she gave the dock one last glance over, making sure there was nothing they had missed before leading the way back to the main concourse.

* * *

The Volus was checking labels on crates against a datapad in his hand. Muttering something as his fingers tapped on the orange screen. He jumped slightly as Shepard cleared her throat behind him.

“Earth-clan! It is considered bad manners to sneak up on people trying to complete an honest day’s work!” His breathing mechanism in his suit clattered open and closed rapidly as he tried to catch his breath.

“Apparently the Detective thinks you’re being less than honest,” Shepard dropped to one knee and brough herself level with the bright white lights that allowed the Volus to see. “Why don’t you tell me everything you know?”

He turned his head slightly, seeing how alone they were. Looking at the data pad he placed it gently down on the crate and waddled closer to her, his voice coming out as a clattering whisper as he spoke.

“I smuggled a chemical onto Illium that boosts Biotic powers in combat. It also may be toxic…” He turned around again, frantically checking for anyone who may have overheard his confession. “I may have forgotten to mention that to the Eclipse. So they are perturbed and want to kill me.”

“What the hell is this chemical you brought in?” Shepard hissed at him, concern growing that if they go into that base there was a chance that they were going to be up against Biotics that were overpowered and potentially reckless.

“it’s called Minagen X3,” The Volus stated, the clicking from his breathing interrupting the silence as the ground team listened. “It’s very, very… illegal. Anyone with Biotic powers who is exposed to it becomes more powerful.”

“And the toxic side?” Kaidan asked, not bothering to keep his voice down. The Volus shrank back against the crates, head flipping wildly from side to side as if he expected someone to attack at this revelation.

“The higher the exposure the more powerful you get, too much of it and you die. That’s the part the Eclipse found disagreeable.”

“And you delivered this stuff to them personally?” Shepard stood up again, surveying the dock as the Volus gathered himself together. He nodded at her, the lights of his suit unmoving.

“What do you remember about the layout of the base?” Thane asked, he didn’t address the smuggler directly, he kept his eyes on the outside of the group, surveying those around them as they scurried about.

“It’s a series of docking bays where the Eclipse keep their private ships. They’re well-armed and they’ve got Mechs. This base is where the Eclipse sisters operate out of, and they’re all murderers. You don’t get in unless you kill someone as part of your initiation.”

Shepard looked down again, they had already met some of the Eclipse sisters and Samara had certainly used that term when talking about them, they had also met the Mechs. She just hoped that the LOKI ones were all that they used.

“Sounds like shit caught up with you pretty fast. Guess the phrase cheaters never prosper got lost in translation…” She raised her eyes at him, any thought of sympathy for the merchant eroding fast.

“It did, but you don’t survive this long being a merchant without knowing when there is a deal to be made… You want something.” His breather plate clicked as he waited, looking up steadily at Shepard and waiting for her to state her requirements. She pursed her lips, this Volus was starting to grate at her.

“Get us in and we might be able to keep you out of their sights.” She knew that she had walked right into the web that he had set up for her, but if they needed to get in she would have to play by the merchants rules, even if she hated it.

“I was issued with a pass key to bring my goods in. Well, I had to give that back, but I happened to make a copy.” The Volus said smugly, tapping the datapad he had placed on the crate.

Kaidan flared slightly as he stepped a little closer, a predatory grin spreading over his face as the Volus looked up suddenly to him. The Merchant took a step back and bumped into the crate at his side. Pulling the datapads to him he thrust it towards Shepard's thigh as she flexed her fingers over where her pistol was clipped. He was well aware when a deal was about to go south and scrambled to seal 'it' before they sealed him up in a body bag.

“Take it,” He offered quickly, holding his hands up as Shepard relived him of the information. “But be careful and don’t lead them back to me.”

The merchant nodded subtly towards an elevator door behind Kaidan, the green holo showing that it was open already. Shepard raised an eyebrow, questioning why they needed a key card for an unlocked door.

“It’s an elevator, key card lets you access their base rather than the warehouses below them.” He hissed, stepping away from the group slowly, he was not willing to be seen in the area the moment they used it.

* * *

Making their way over, Thane opened the door and took position in the back as Kaidan and Shepard stood to the front. She downloaded the information to her Omni-tool and then sent the data to the elevator controls. The doors slid shut as the gently kick of the dampeners activated as they made their ascent. 

EDI’s voice broke out over the comm link as the elevator doors opened. The sound startling as they came face to face with a powered down LOKI Mech right in front of them. Kaidan sent out a Throw on instinct, pulling his shotgun free to ensure that the Mech was disabled.

“Commander, my scans confirm that the chemical compound _will_ boost Biotics, However, concentrated exposure will cause severe tissue damage. I recommend limited exposure.” The AI clicked off the comm, seemingly aware that there was gunfire in the background and distractions may compromise their success.

“We don’t even know what this chemical is contained in…” Kaidan mused as they came together at another door.

“Just be careful with your aim then.” Shepard smirked as she pulled her pistol and dropped her hand through the holo.

They were greeted with a Vanguard holding her arms up, yelling towards someone that they couldn’t see. “It’s just mind over matter!” She exclaimed, seemingly ridiculing whoever was on the receiving end of her comment.

Shepard instinctively pulled the trigger, bullets smashing into the Mercs barrier as she spun around and pulled her own gun and back-pedalling behind a crate.

“Fuck!” She yelled, as the ground team advanced, using their surprise entrance to force the Mercs to retreat so that they could utilise the cover they had been forced to vacate.

Shepard curved a Warp towards the Vanguard, cursing as she heard hysterical laughter coming from behind the crate. The Commander made a dash for a stack of containers, landing heavily against it as she felt the passing of bullets next to her face. Looking over to the opposite side, she saw Kaidan had ended up with Thane, his hands on his shotgun but unsure if he should use it in case the wild spread of pellets ruptured anything that contained this chemical.

Thane looked briefly at him and then at Shepard. His brow furrowed as he assessed their situation. He was in no position to do what the two Humans managed to execute, and he was also hesitant to have Kaidan use his shotgun. The Drell pulled out his sniper and pushed the pistol he was holding towards Kaidan, nudging him in the chest with it.

Kaidan took the gun cautiously, clipping his shotgun back to his belt. The pistol felt light and weak in his hands as he held onto the grip awkwardly. He tried to bring back his Alliance training, he would have needed to have learnt how to use pistols as part of Basic but he had spent so long just using a shotgun, he wasn’t even sure what to do with his now free hand.

Shepard tried not to laugh at the situation unfolding across the walkway. Despite the fact they were being shot at, Kaidan seemed so out of his depth but still trying and she wondered if that was a glimpse of the man that he was under all those layers. “You got this.” She whispered to him over a private comm link and smiled at him as he turned to her briefly.

The pep talk seemed to work as he moved forward, making sure he was in range of the Mercs who had come barrelling out of a doorway they had been using for cover. Shepards view of them was blocked by some high cover in front of her but her attention was swiftly dragged to her right where she heard the automated speech of a Mech as it approached.

Letting Thane and Kaidan keep the Mercs busy, she edged around the barrel she was resting near and found the Mech almost face to face with her. Jumping backwards she sent out a Warp, pulling the trigger of her pistol furiously. The last bullet connected with its head. The buzzing escalating as the surge of power threatened to blow the Mech apart. Throwing herself on the ground she felt the heat travel over her as the electrical fire sent the choking smell of melting plastic and wiring out over the room.

“Commander!” Thane called out to her, his voice rising in pitch as she tried to stand. She could see that she was flaring uncontrollably, and her HUD was telling her that her heart rate had increased somewhat erratically.

There was a faint haze next to a small cracked rectangular storage bin. She backed away, back to where she had first ducked behind cover. Holding her free hand out, she watched as her Biotics licked out from her fingertips, curling into white light at the ends. Without hesitation she sent out a Shockwave, the blue ripples crashing into one another with e ferocity that she had never seen before.

The Mercs at the far end were instantly caught up in it, trying desperately to remain upright as the wave of Biotics slammed into them. As their attention was drawn away Shepard sprinted towards Kaidan, skirting the cloud as best she could. Crashing into the crate with less grace than she was used to she tried to focus on Kaidan next to her.

“You look like you want to take me to bed…” He quipped, before turning his focus back to the Mercs whittling their Barriers down as best he could.

“What?” Shepard stammered, unsure why that was even a thought that crossed his mind.

“Your pupils have dilated. I could have said that you look like a Sand addict if that’s any better?” Kaidan left the conversation open as he grabbed hold of her wrist, pointing her pistol to the ceiling. “Just Warp those bitches, will you?”

She swallowed thickly and turned her head back to the fight. The constant repeat of Thane’s sniper echoing in her head as she drew their powers down into her hand. Curving her arm over the crate, she grunted in effort as she released the energy in their direction.

The travel time was going to be short, but the screams were louder than she was expecting. Kaidan pushed her to the floor as he cautiously peered over the top of the crate. One was down instantly, taking the full brunt of the Warp that Shepard had sent their way, the other Merc was defenceless allowing Thane to climb up and Pull her from over the top of the cover she was cowering behind.

The screams brought out a waiting Merc, activating her Barrier as she fired rapidly in their direction, aiming at nothing and everything. The sounds of her associates falling spurring her into desperate action.

Shepard shook her head, the effects of the chemical wearing off slightly, she stole a glance at Kaidan as he struggled to land a shot on the jittery Merc with the strange gun in his hands. Thane appeared next to them, lining up his sniper despite the rapidly advancing Human.

She watched him in what seemed like slow motion as his pulled the trigger with unblinking eyes, whispering a prayer for the Merc as she fell. Her armor clattering to the floor as her momentum was cut short with his bullet.

“Shepard,” The Drell moved over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, bringing her attention to him and causing her to concentrate on him as she shook off the remains of the Minagen X3. He brought up his Omni-tool and scanned her system, seeming satisfied that she was not going to be under any adverse effects for long.

He looked over at a series of containers that were stacked up against the wall. Moving towards them cautiously and running his fingers over the label attached to them. “The chemical appears to be in these containers. I would advise caution around them, but they may be used to our advantage if we are able to overwhelm any of the Eclipse Mercenaries who stay near them for too long.”

“That’s cold, even for me.” Kaidan grimaced, looking back down at Shepard as she removed her visor and rubbed her temples.

“Firearms are not the only method of elimination. We would be wise to use the environment we fine ourselves in to our advantage.” Thane remained unmoved by Kaidan’s admonishment. His life as an assassin and his separation between the actions of his morals and body allowing him to see the chemical as worthy of deployment.

Shepard clattered against the crate as she heaved herself up, suddenly feeling drained as the boost in power ebbed away. Moving forward slow, she turned into the room that the Merc had come from. It looked like an office, consoles set up at desks to one side. A shotgun that looked modded was on a table to the side, as if someone was in the middle of reassembling it before being disturbed. Shepard gestured at Kaidan to take a look at it as she turned to the centre of the room, her head cocked as she tried to pick up the noise that had caught her attention.

Thane nodded at her, he too had heard it and motioned silently towards an unlocked door. They approached softly, the noise seemingly coming from someone whispering to themselves on the other side. Waiting for Kaidan to take drag, Shepard listened as she held her arm over the holo, ready to open it.

“Oh, Goddess!,” Came the panicked voice from the other side, a soft scrabbling came to their ears, the sound of whoever was on the other side seemingly desperately trying to find somewhere to hide. “Goddess, don’t let them see me, If they see me, don’t let them kill me! What am I doing here!?”

Shepard opened the door, all three of the ground team stepping through instantly, guns drawn. She saw a pistol seemingly abandoned on the floor next to a large database console. The sounds had stopped but there was nowhere for the creator of them to go, and the abandoned gun troubled her. She motioned for the team to turn around, their footsteps giving whoever was in here the mistaken opportunity to reveal themselves.

Kaidan smirked when Shepard whirled around not a second later, her run raised squarely at the head of the Asari Merc who had attempted to lunge for the gun on the floor.

“Wait! Stop!,” the Merc stammered, hands up kicking the gun away from her. “I didn’t fire that thing once, I pretended to because the other Eclipse sisters were watching, but I didn’t really shoot!”

Shepard didn’t lower her gun, staring at the Merc in front of her. The yellow of the armor almost glowed under the spotlights that were situated over them. Kaidan shifted slightly to her side, unsure at the standoff going on between an unarmed Merc who seemed in over her head and the Commander.

“You sure look like a Merc though…” Kaidan quipped, trying to make sense of what she was saying. Thane had his hands behind his back but from his position Kaidan could see the blue of the Drell’s Biotics flicker over his skin.

“I’m not one of them! I’m new! I thought being Elnora the Mercenary would be a better way to spend my Maidan years than some dancer in a club… but I didn’t know what they were _really_ like.” The colour seemed to drain from her cheeks as the risks of her chosen occupation were front and centre in her face.

“What don’t you like about them, Elnora?” Shepard asked, her tone cold as she flexed her finger over the trigger. The Asari swallowed as she looked around rapidly, trying to find a way she could flee from the situation.

“I thought that they would be protecting the good guys from the bad guys! I thought we would be flying around the galaxy ridding it of the scum but all they do is sell Red Sand to the desperate and trade untested illegal weapons tech. They even smuggled an Ardat-Yakshi off-world. They’re _helping_ the bad guys, then this happens.” She brought her hands up to the side of her head, trying to stay calm and not do anything stupid that would end up with a bullet in her skull.

“What the hell is an Ardat-Yakshi?” Shepard asked, her arms still pointing the pistol at the Merc.

“It’s an ancient Asari word for something that…” She shook her head lightly, frowning as she spoke. “I thought was just a superstition until now. It means ‘demon of the night wind’. I didn’t think they were real, but the boss said that the scary lady was one. She hugged her arms to herself and shivered, the adrenaline from earlier having run its course.

“Do you have the name of the ship?” Thane asked, his low voice cutting across the room as the Merc turned to him, looking as though she had only just realised her was there.

“I have no idea! All I know is that it happened a few days ago. I’m new, they don’t tell me anything apart what team I’m supposed to be in.” She became frantic in her tone an gestures, as though her lack of knowledge may sign her death warrant.

“Alright, Elnora,” Shepard started to lower her pistol and the Merc exhaled hard, bouncing on her feet as she prepared to run as far away from this as she could get. Just as Elnora started to look relieved, Shepard raised her pistol again and sent a bullet into her skull at point blank range.

“Go to the sea.” Thane muttered as Kaidan ran forward, pulling Shepards arm down to lower the pistol.

“What the fuck? She was unarmed and ratted out what she could.” He stared at her body on the floor, he might have a sketchy past but he had never shot someone without reason, and Shepard had straight up to the Justicar that she hadn’t either.

“All Eclipse sisters commit a murder to earn the right to put on that uniform,” Shepard started. Kicking Elnora’s corpse over onto its back.

“So, she could have faked that to get in?”

“You really think if she was faced with that to get in, she would have still wanted to join? She was looking out for herself, trying to play us like fools.” Shepard bent down to pick up the pistol that Elnora had kicked to the side but not far enough away that she wouldn’t be able to reach it if she needed it. She handed it to Kaidan, watching him as he turned it over in his hands.

“Her gun is modded with that illegal tech she was disgusted about.” He said quietly, feeling foolish for giving her the benefit of the doubt.

“Don’t worry about it, she was a professional liar. Problem for Mercs is that they don’t understand the complexity of military training. It isn’t all just learning how to shoot things.” Shepard clapped him on the shoulder as she passed him, the action supposed to be reassuring but she missed the look on his face. Kaidan felt belittled, he _had_ military training, he had been in the Alliance but he still didn’t catch the lie that the Merc had been spinning. Maybe it was a good job they threw him out when they did.

Shepard checked over a console they had missed upon entering, whistling low as she read over the file that had been left on there. Downloading it she opened her Omni-tool and sent a copy to Mordin and Anderson before closing it down and heading out towards the stairs that provided them the last remaining route into the base.

* * *

The door at the top of the stairs led the into another warehouse of sorts. A pair of Mercs had taken position behind a stack of containers, waiting for them, the LOKI Mech ready for deployment had positioned in the middle of the floor to provided them with further cover. The Orange glow of tech barriers illuminated the side of the room they were in. Any hope of hiding was lost for the Mercs, so they had opted for overpowering the ground team as they arrived.

Thane drifted in soundlessly, his pistol having been acquired back from Kaidan sent bullets to the Mech from a dizzying array of angles. Shepard couldn’t keep up with his movements as he set out to confuse their opposition.

Shepard tugged Kaiden to her and whispered her request of a Wide Throw, setting up a Barrier around them as she pushed her remaining Biotics into him. They moved into the doorway, the Mercs firing on them as a stationary target. Shepard gritted her teeth, coalescing the Barrier in front of them as Kaidan pushed his arms out heavily in front of him, releasing the burst of blue towards them.

Two shots rang out as the last Merc fell, Thane moving forward already and positioning himself with a tank to his back. Shepard moved forward, ducking quickly as another Mech and its Mercenary companion came into view to her left.

She stood up, lining up her shots at the Merc when she was blasted back as a Warp ripped through her shields. Ducking down, he tried to stifle a groan as the energy started to pull at her, making her feel like she was being shredded from the inside out. The familiar hiss of her medi-gel being deployed as her vital signs wavered should have brought reassurance but it did nothing, there were no dermal wounds to treat.

She stood again, knowing that the Vanguard that had hit her would be out of action for a few more seconds if she was lucky. Screwing her eyes shut as she wobbled lightly, she sent out a Reave, slumping down as the purple and red energy swaddled her, using the Mercs powers to restore her own.

“Shit, Abi, Abi, Abi…” Kaidan hissed as he dropped next to her, the sight of her in disarray pulling him to her side. This was twice now that she had been almost on the casualty list, but he had never seen her be bested like what was going on today. The glass at the back-wall shattering brought his attention to the fight, sending out a Shockwave he knocked the Mech out of the game and gave Thane a clear shot as the Merc tried to recover.

The Vanguard turned behind her as glass rained down over her head. She could see that the Human in armor was still down, but she was pissed at the parting gift that had been sent her way. She ducked down, turning to look up the corridor that ran to her left, wishing the back up she had called for would fucking arrive already.

Steeling herself she pulled out her assault rifle, she wasn’t trying to be accurate, she was trying to bide some time. Activating her tech armor and Barrier she stood, pulling the trigger rapidly to giver herself some covering fire and force the ground team back into hiding. With her focus on the hiding place of Shepard and Kaidan she didn’t even see Thane advancing, his movements blending into what little shadows there were.

She spun around, yelling in surprise as the Drell knocked her back against the wall, his Biotics holding her as he raised his pistol. The steady repetition of gunfire continued until he dropped her down, dead, the rifle clattering to the floor at his feet.

“I’ll fucking kill you!” was screamed out behind him, the back up the Vanguard had been waiting for had finally made an appearance.

Kaidan dragged Shepard up, pulling her to a closer crate as he checked her over. She was stable, a bit dazed but pissed off beyond compare. He glanced at Thane, deciding that the Drell seemed to be holding his own and pulled Shepard’s face to his own, his hands cupping her cheeks. She resisted at first and then gave up trying to pull away, instead levelling a hard stare at him as he fixed his amber eyes on her.

“We do this together, no more heroics. Understood?” He frowned as he waited, hoping that their argument from earlier wasn’t the reason that she was being reckless.

“Yes, _Sir_.” She replied, pursing her lips. Shepard couldn’t help but notice the tug of a smile that flashed over his face at her words and how he seemed to breathe in a little unsteady.

Kaidan released her and held out a hand to help her up. Thane having already returned to them to relay that the way was clear. She rolled her head, releasing the tension in her neck and shook out her arms and legs. Holding up her hand to prevent either of them questioning if she was able to continue.

“Kaidan and I are going to stick together, we’re more effective as a team than individuals. Just keep doing what your doing Thane, I’m impressed.”

Climbing higher, they pushed through seemingly endless corridors and countless rooms. The concentration of Vanguards on patrol increased as they went, leading them to agree that they must be on the right path if not getting closer.

A smaller walkway, that overlooked the floor below presented them with an Eclipse Heavy. The Merc was firing indiscriminately with heavy rounds, the sound almost deafening as the blasts impacted on their surroundings. One of the Vanguards kicked over a canister of Minagen X3, the plumes of red smoke spreading out across the room like blood in water.

They pressed forward when the could, their vision obscured by the chemical and the countdown of shots being fired before the pause of reloading their cue to move. While the Heavy was unaffected by the plumes, the Vanguard was overwhelmed quickly, her attempt at gaining a boost had spread so much around her that every inhale was flooding her system with the toxic agent than she could handle.

Shepard wished that she had her breather helmet as the ground team rushed through the fog while the Heavy was reloading. sliding up to cover and dispatching the last of the resistance that they found in the wider end of the room.

Turning up another set of stairs they found themselves in an open hanger with a loading system that spanned across the room.

“Is that a fucking gunship?” Kaidan hissed, pulling both Shepard and Thane backwards into the relative safety of the corridor. Thane cautiously peered around the door frame, checking the surroundings that they found themselves in.

“It appears so. There is a door on the other side of the room, reinforcements have already started to arrive and are fanning out through the room. I suggest that we move quickly as to not be overwhelmed.” He pulled out his sniper and inserted a new thermal clip, moving into position by the door.

Shepard led the charge, ducking down low to avoid a Vanguard that had walked around the corner and straight into them. Kaidan unclipped his shotgun and blasted her repeatedly, the impact from the rounds never letting her get a steady shot of her own back in retaliation.

They made their way to a set of stairs, the only way to get over the loading system that was ferrying cargo through the hanger on its way to who knew where. A Heavy immediately took a pot shot at them as they came into view. The heavy round sailing over their heads as they ducked out of view from the hovering gunship. Shepard pulled her pistol out and started firing at the Heavies head, trying to keep the Mercs hands that were holding the rocket launcher out of view and ensuring that the stairs were blocking the shots.

Thane slipped up the stairs as the Merc’s shields failed, whispering a prayer as he sent out a Throw and launched the Merc screaming over the edge of the railing. Shepard and Kaidan ran up to join him, silent as they listened to the scream fade.

“Amonkira reveals them.” Thane exclaimed as a Mech appeared at the foot of the stairs. His pistol already raised and fingers deftly pulling the trigger.

“Shit, look out.” Kaidan grunted, pulling Shepard low. Whatever reinforcements that had started spreading out had now begun to amass across the hanger, their presence announced by the rapid gunfire being sent in the ground teams direction.

Thane took position at the stairs, bracing himself against the handrail as he lined up his shots, giving them what cover he could as Shepard pulled Kaidan forward with her.

Too late they saw a Warp head straight to them as they were out in the open. The energy radiating through them both as they staggered slightly backwards. Kaidan flared angrily beside her, not caring about the heat radiating from the amp at the base of his skull. He sent out a Singularity towards the Mercs, not caring that it would be useless against them but hoping that it would provide them with and obstacle that would allow them to get to cover.

The gunship let out a low rumble as the main cannons were brought online, sending Kaidan and Shepard skittering around to the other side of the containers, to try and keep out of the devastating firepower that activated to their left. the cannons rattled into life, slamming heavy rounds into the box they were seeking sanctuary behind, the vibrations of the impacts could be felt through the air around them.

Kaidan held Shepard firmly as she sent out Warps and Reaves as fast as she could. The Singularity managed to snag a Heavy before the energy dissipated and Shepard curved a Warp into it, the blast of Biotics eating through the Barrier of a Vanguard and sending a Mech flying.

A deafening silence fell over them as the gunship was forced to power down the cannons, the acrid smell of oil telling Shepard that they had likely overheated. The ground team took the opportunity to open fire themselves as they let their own amps cool down. Shepard released a full clip into a Vanguard that broke cover to try and advance, sending her dropping to the floor as Kaidan Shored up a Barrier around her as she stood.

The remaining resistance that guarded the door were dispatched in short measure. The Heavy found themselves out gunned as they came under fire from two different angles was left exposed as the last remaining Vanguard broke away to charge at the two Humans that were infuriatingly still standing. The Asari yelled, a primal screech as she rushed forward, bullets causing her limbs to flail as she staggered backward from their impact until she too dropped to the floor.

With the exit clear, they rushed forward, making it out of range of the cannons and into the room beyond. An open console was positioned on a desk, paperwork scattered around it. Shepard plundered the medi-gel stash, clipping a new pouch into the frame that held it in the inbuilt dispenser and watched as Thane stepped forward, pressing play on a recently recorded voice note.

“Well, it’s official!” A familiar voice exclaimed, the excitement barely being contained. “Little baby Elnora is finally a fully-fledged Eclipse Merc! I earned my uniform last night killing that ridiculous Volus. Up close, exploding rounds, blew that little bastards suit right open!” The Merc descended into laughter as Thane turned off the note.

“And I would have let her go…” Kaidan snarled, sweeping the papers off the desk.

“But she didn’t get away. She died with a bullet between the eyes, which is more than she deserved.” Shepard brushed off Kaidan’s annoyance, there was no point trying to make him feel better about it, he needed to get his anger over it out on his own.

“Should we take this for the Detective?” Thane asked, already opening his Omni-tool and pulling up the right program.

“Might as well, at least she gets to close the case with a name, confession and the fact that Elnora isn’t going to be taking out anyone else.” She nodded towards the console as she spoke, and Thane started the download. He wiped the file and switched off the console once he was done, pulling out his pistol again.

Running quietly through two doors they came into another hanger. A barely visible LOKI Mech was powered down on the floor between two plastic crates. Thane handed Kaidan his pistol as he pulled his sniper free, sinking two bullets into the Mech as it powered up. Their shots alerted two unseen Mechs, their slow march towards the group was accompanied by the constant drone of assault rifle fire.

A plastic crate in front of them shattered as the Mechs advanced, prompting Kaidan to throw the pistol back to Thane, freeing up his hands to send forward a Shockwave to keep them back.

“Where are the Mercs? Did we miss something?” Shepard yelled, the small pang of worry creeping though her at the thought that they may be ambushed from behind.

“There was no other way forward? This has to be right.” Kaidan replayed their footsteps in his head as he idly sent out a Singularity to give them room to breathe. He couldn’t picture any other way they could have gone anywhere, this had to be the right place.

They gingerly crept into the hanger, adrenaline putting their senses into overdrive as they scanned the area, keenly aware that they couldn’t let their guard down and the lack of people here heightening the feeling that something was amiss.

Turning a corner, the blaze of sunlight that filtered into the hanger sent deep shadows against the walls, the overhead lights glowing dimly in doorways looked almost out of place. This area might not be a hanger after all, as the low bridge that connected the two walkways between buildings became apparent.

A low hum filled the air, making the hairs on the back of Shepards neck stand on end. She motioned to the railing on the far walkway, feet moving her faster towards it as the hum intensified.

“Gunship above!” Thane called out, causing the trio to break into a sprint. The flimsy metal barricade their only protection from the cannons that were now floating meters away from them.

The gunship floated backwards, enabling it to get a wider range should they make a move. The cannons firing indiscriminately at their position as the game of cat and mouse had begun.

Shepard looked back to the walkway they had just run from, the ceilings were high, more than enough space for the gunship to manoeuvre around in and cut them off. They would have to be smart about their positioning, separating out so that there were too many targets to lock in on.

“Plan?” Kaidan asked over the comms, hunkering down against the railing where it connected to a metal post. He was fiddling with the shotgun they had picked up earlier, clicking through the calibrations to see what the mod attached to it had to offer. “Because I can do shit all from here with a shotgun.”

Steady shots were coming from where Thane had positioned himself. His sniper sending out powerful shots to try and eat away at the armor plating covering the gunship. He looked to the side and slid his pistol over to Kaidan, nodding at the Human before turning his attention back to the scope in his eyeline.

“I can’t hit that thing with Warp or Reave, it’s hanging back just far enough to be out of range. We have to do this the old-fashioned way.” Shepard was already pulling her pistol out, resting it on the railing as she chanced a look over the edge and began rapidly pulling on the trigger.

They had managed to disrupt some of the armor, sparks licked over sections of the plating on a wing and above the cockpit before the gunship retreated back. Positioning itself under the cover of the sun, it was invisible as the glare burned into their retinas as they tried to track its movements.

It came roaring back to them, both Shepard and Kaidan firing at it as it flew straight overhead and into the lofty area behind them.

“Shit, shit, shit…” Shepard muttered, scrambling away and dipping low behind some barrels as she craned her neck to try and keep track of it.

Hovering to the left, she leant over her cover and fired at it, dropping back down as the cannons tore through her shields. Thane had awkwardly repositioned, but the gunship kept floating out of view; if he moved however, there was a high chance he would be gunned down.

Kaidan swung out his arm, the blue energy making a direct line to the main viewport of the gunship. Shepard raised an eyebrow as she watched, almost in slow motion as the Singularity appeard in front of the gunship. She looked at him, unsure as to what he was doing or what the purpose of that display was.

The gunship hummed again as its engines came online and it moved to the side, the pilots vision marred by the Biotic energy that had been deployed in front of it. Kaidan grinned at her, pleased that his seemingly absurd action had worked. She smiled back as the gunship now positioned itself in a way that allowed Thane to unload his sniper into it. Kaidan had thought out of the box and forced the gunship to play into the hands of their strongest member, there was a marine in there somewhere, she thought to herself as she watched him turn back to the ship and sink an entire thermal clip into it.

With the Singularity flickering out, they gunship moved back into its original position. Sparks ran along the plates on the hull as the armor was compromised, the energy dissipating rather than forming an electroweave over the body of the gunship.

“It’s not going to hold out much longer. Push hard.” Shepard stood as she yelled out, using both hands to steady her aim as she pulled her trigger. A heavy round forced her back into cover but the distraction from her gave the other two a fighting chance to finish it off.

“Duck, _now_!” Kaidan shouted, as he dropped to the floor with Thane. The gunship’s armor failed, sparks stuttering out as the few final bullets pierced the hull. The smell of Eezo filled the air as the pilot tried to gun the engines and escape. The draw on power only managing to overload the drive core, flames licking out as the engine exploded.

“Well, that was fun.” Shepard quipped. Standing up and taking off her visor to smooth back her hair.

“I was an exercise in patients, Commander. I am not sure it was fun.” Thane stared at her, seemingly at a loss to how she had found being shot at by a gunship ‘fun’.

“It’s called sarcasm, Thane. Humans do it a lot as a coping mechanism.” She patted him on the shoulder as he stowed his sniper and took back his pistol as Kaidan held it out to him.

Making their way over to a door, She pulled a panel off the wall, exposing the wiring that had activated the lock. Bringing up her Omni-tool she pulled up a program and set to work reprogramming the connections to bypass the security protocol. Thane and Kaidan both covered her six as she worked, guns drawn and ready to hold back anything that may have interrupted their entry into the next room.

Entering a hallway, a datapad glowed orange. Shepard wandered over, picking it up and skimming through the information it held.

“Looks like a shipping manifest. Shows that a ‘Pitne For’ sold two thousand units of Minagen X3 to the Eclipse,” She scrolled further, letting a out a slow whistle as she got further down. “And six hundred units of Red Sand.”

“This isn’t the information that Samara needs, but it will help the Detective prove that the Volus is a criminal.” Thanes humming voice uttered from behind her.

“Yeah, if she lives long enough to appreciate the findings…” Kaidan murmured as he looked over a console that stood next to another door.

“Well, lets get a move on and find that ship name then.” The Commander downloaded the data and tossed the datapad back on the ledge, the action causing the screen to flicker and then cut out. She shrugged, moving over to the now open door that Kaidan was guarding.

The corridor seemed to loop around, the ground team cautiously moved forwards, ensuring that they checked the way was clear before stepping out into the open.

“What the…” Kaidan muttered under his breath as his eyes fell on a Volus stood in front of a vending machine. Shepard looked over his shoulder, stepping around him as she noted that the Volus hadn’t moved at their approach.

She walked up, side stepping as the Volus turned around on unsteady feet. He reminded her of drunk marines on shore leave, the ones who always insisted they were ok even thought they couldn’t judge where a doorway was.

The Volus still collided with Shepards thigh, stumbling backwards, arms out to steady himself. He looked up slowly, his breather plate clicking at a worryingly slow rate.

“I am a Biotic god! I think things… and they happen! Fear me, lesser creatures for I am Biotics made flesh!” The Volus held his hands out in front of him, they were shaking lightly as he grunted with the strain of trying to make blue sparks flash out.

The Volus managed to eventually flare, a slight display that caused Thane to cock his head and Kaidan to softly laugh. Shepard stared down at the Volus as he tried to push past them.

“You need help.” Shepard said calmly as the Volus turned around, almost falling over in the process. He flared again but almost looked taken aback by the involuntary display as it swept down his arms.

“You need help!” He parroted, pointing clumsily at the ground team. “You stand before the mightiest Biotic ever.”

“I’ll accept that title.” Kaidan quipped, shrugging lightly. Shepard tried to stop herself from grinning, the absurdity of what the Volus was claiming was starting to become too much.

The Volus looked down, swaying slightly as he started drifting off into his own thoughts. “Yes, the Asari injecting so many drugs into me was terrifying. But then I began to smell my greatness!”

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, unsure as to what to do with the Volus. He was clearly out of his mind on something and if the shipping manifest was correct, it was likely Red Sand.

“They may laugh when I fall over, but they don’t know what I know in my head, that I am amazingly powerful. Fear me!” He went on, oblivious to the looks being exchanged over his head.

“Are you part of Pitne For’s trading group by any chance?” Shepard asked, unphased by the wild claims being thrown about by the unsteady Volus at her feet.

“When I was mortal, yes, I worked for Pitne. The poor soul is probably terrified that I have not returned.” The Volus shook his head lightly, a sigh clicking through his breather plate.

“He has not reported anyone missing?” Thane said, turning to Shepard. She raised her eyebrows and confirmed his observation.

“I get the distinct impression that he prefers money to friends.” She folded her arms across her chest. Finding a member of the merchant’s team was not part of the plan and she was wondering what the hell to do with him.

“I will wreak havoc on his people! But first,” The Volus turned towards the door that led out from the hallway. “The leader of these mercenaries is in the next room. I shall toss Wasea about like a rag doll!”

“You couldn’t fight you way out of a wet paper bag.” Kaidan blurted, gesturing to him with a grimace as he turned to Shepard and Thane.

“I will tear her apart! My Biotics are unstoppable!” The Volus turned again, placing one shaky leg in front of the other as he crept closer to the door.

“She will tear _you_ apart. Take a nap, you’ll feel better.” Shepard made a move to intercept him. Cutting off his access to the door as he struggled to move around her.

“Are you mad?” He was yelling at her kneecaps as they hindered his progress. “I’m unstoppable, feasting on her Biotic rich blood will be the last step of my ascension to godhood!”

“Ok, that’s enough.” Shepard quipped, looking up at the ceiling as he wobbled about in front of her, his arms looking like he was using his Biotics to get her out of the way but nothing was happening.

She pushed lightly on his helmet, the action making his already precarious sense of balance worse. The Volus tipped over backwards not even attempting to break his fall. The ground team stood over him, waiting to see if he was unconscious. A small groan echoed thought the vent at the front of his helmet as he rolled over and got shakily to his feet.

“But.. Great wind! Biotic god!,” He murmured, grabbing hold of Kaidan’s leg to heave himself up. He turned towards Shepard, staring silently at her for a moment. “I’m… I… what was I saying? I’m… tired.” He shook his head lightly and sighed. “You, may be right. I will take a nap, destroy the galaxy later…”

The Volus turned to leave, the motion almost making him fall over. Weaving his way from side to side as he made his way back the way they had come. Thane looked confused as Shepard just shook her head.

Going through the door that the Volus had wanted to, they came to what looked like a reception area. A desk sat to one side, consoles glowing as they had been left open. All data had been wiped from the machine, whatever they were looking for wasn’t going to be found here.

Opening the final door, they were faced with a large room. A desk was situated in front of a large set of stair leading up to a mezzanine floor stacked with goods. UV lamps situated overhead lit up the Asari’s markings like glowing war paint. She was reading a datapad, drinking something from a glass as she paced about, she almost seemed like she was passing the time as she waited for them to arrive.

“Everything has gone to hell since we smuggled that filthy creature off-world.” She gestured to them with the hand that was holding the glass, not caring as the contents slopped over the rim. “First a Justicar shows up, now you.”

She placed the glass down and tossed the datapad onto the desk, fixing her glare onto the intruders as they edged forwards. “At least I can take pleasure in turning your heads into a pulpy mess.”

She flared brightly, Biotics licking crazily over her form as she pulled a container from behind her and launched it straight to the group. They ducked out of the way to avoid being hit but the res haze that erupted out of it bathed them all in toxic fumes.

She continues flaring as she threw a Barrier over her armor and pulled out her assault rifle. The ground team scattered, the exposed space in the middle of the room giving them a no-mans-land that for the time being prevented her from getting too close.

“Careful with your shots!” Kaidan bit out as another container erupted, the fog marring their view of the Asari. She seemed to laugh, the noise decidedly unstable as she pulled herself through the dusty red haze, flaring brighter.

Another Merc came running in from a side door, their gun adding to the chaos that was unfolding as Wasea sprinted to the other side of the room. As high as she was, she was still seemingly aware that she had to be careful with the exposure she gave herself to the chemical.

“If you’re helping the Justicar, you’re _deep_ into something _terrifying_.” The Asari called out with a mocking snarl. She shot at a container next to Shepard, bathing her in more Minagen X3, causing her HUD to flash warnings in front of her right eye.

More Mercs piled into the fray, Shepard moved around a pillar to try and get out of the range of the fog. She sent a Reave out to Wasea as she felt the familiar burning sensation form under her skin. The Captain staggered back, her Barrier depleted, giving Thane the opportunity to shoot out the container next to her, forcing the Asari to retreat further to her right.

Kaidan clipped his shotgun to his belt and flared, feeling the chemical run through him as he dipped into the remaining haze behind him. He lifted up the crates in front of the doorway and hurled them towards the Captains desk, blocking off her cover as she scurried from one side to the other. Now if she wanted to make a move, she was going to have to do it in the open.

Wasea began to stumble, her aim sloppy as the Minagen X3’s toxicity started to eat away at her. Thane had managed to headshot the two back up Mercs who had run it to assist. Their co-ordination failing as they saw their leader falling. Shepard pushed forward, her hand pulling off her visor and tossing it to the side as she sprinted through another cloud of red. Wesae was hunched over on the floor, struggling to even lift her arm to aim at Shepard as she approached.

The distraction was all that was needed however as Thane appeared behind her and placed his pistol against her skull, closing his eyes and praying as he pulled the trigger. A burst of blood coming from her left temple as the bullet found an exit, and she slumped forward onto the floor.

Kaidan made his way up the stairs, cursing under his breath as a heavy round sailed over Thane and Shepards heads. “Never a crate to hide behind when you need one!” he called back down to them as he retreated down the stairs out of harms way.

“How many?” Shepard asked, joining him and tugging him down to a crouch so they forced whoever was left to come closer to them.

“Two, maybe three? There’s one with a big fucking gun though.” He pursed his lips, looking decidedly unhappy with the way things had turned.

“Hey you took on three YMIR’s back on Purgatory. What’s a little Eclipse Heavy compared to that?” Shepard grinned at him, her eyes flicking to Thane’s amused expression as he too appraised the Biotic crouched next to him.

“Cover me.” Kaidan hissed as he flared, the flash of colour causing Shepard to squint. He had charged off before she was able to fully open her eyes.

She scrambled up with Thane, pistols drawn as they gave covering fire to whatever Kaidan was planning to do. His blue swathed form hurtled about, throwing an unarmored Merc into the Heavy as he dropped into cover. Shepard and Thane whittled down the Heavy’s shields as the Merc grew increasingly desperate.

Kaidan wrenched the desk that the Merc was hiding behind out of the way, wood and metal raining down as it splintered and shattered against a pillar. He grasped the Merc in a haze of blue, grinning wildly as he dragged the Heavy across the floor to him.

“This is for fucking _me_ over.” He snarled at the trapped Asari, lifting her off the floor and slamming her back into the same pillar that had destroyed the desk. The unmistakeable crunch of bones and armor caused even Thane to wince.

Kaidan stood panting in the middle of the floor, his expression wild and muscles tensing as he prepared for more to appear. He looked exactly as he did before leaving Purgatory, unpredictable and dangerous. Shepard wasn’t sure if she liked how easily he slipped back into it.

“Some record of that ship must be around here.” Thane muttered off to her side, bringing he thoughts back into the room. She whipped around, eyes scanning for anything that might give them the name they were looking for.

Making her way back down the stairs, Wasea’s desk stood before them, Shepard lifted and moved the crates that Kaidan had Thrown and dumped them off to the side. There was a lot of paperwork sprawled about. Whatever logical piles it might have been in long since messed up, making them need to scan over every single sheet to try and find what they were looking for.

Kaidan had joined them, looking somewhat sheepish as he caught Shepard's eye. He turned his attention to a console, hoping that she would save any comments on his display for when they were in private.

Pushing papers aside, Thane held up the datapad that Wasea had thrown down before the shit hit the fan. He looked over it, finger scrolling though whatever information she had been reading on there until he stopped and turned the screen towards Shepard. She softly muttered what she was reading until a sentence piqued her interest and she started reading out loud.

“Probably looking for the one we sent off on the _ALM Demeter_ … This is it. Nice find, Thane.” She pulled up her Omni-tool and copied the memo down, looking up as Kaidan laughed.

“Anyone want 3000 credits? Guess they were a little to busy to transfer the funds from holding into their account.” He shrugged, looking a little too comfortable with what he was doing and leaving Shepard wondering if this was part of his criminal repertoire that get him caught.

“Should we keep looking or get back to the Detective?” Thane asked, leaning on the desk as he looked between the two Humans.

“Let’s get out of here, I don’t think she would appreciate us allowing the clock to tick down unnecessarily.” Shepard made her way over to the door, not willing for their curiosity to be the reason that Detective Anaya ended up dead.

* * *

Entering the office, Anaya was cradling her head in her hands. She looked up expectantly when the ground team entered, tipping her head back towards the meditating Justicar behind her. Shepard approached; Samara was unmoving even as the Commander got closer.

“I’ve got the name of the ship, your fugitive left here two days ago on the AML Demeter.”

Samara opened her eyes slowly, the pale blue regarding Shepard as she stood in front of her.

“Shepard, you impress me. You fulfilled your part of the bargain, and I will fulfil mine.” She looked genuinely surprised as she assessed the group in front of her. Leaping gracefully from her perch on the low wall she turned to Anaya, the Detective looking more hopeful that she would manage to live to see the next day. “I am ready to leave immediately, if that will satisfy your superiors, Detective?”

“You’re free to go Justicar. It’s been an honour having you in my station, and it’s nice that you didn’t kill me too…” Anaya leaned back in her chair, a small grin of relief playing over her lips as the Justicar nodded her thanks towards her.

Shepard held up her hand, bringing the focus back for a moment. “The Eclipse smuggled and Ardat-Yakshi off-world. She’s who you’re really after, isn’t she?”

Samara didn’t miss a beat, the information being presented neither startling or confusing her. “You continue to impress. Yes, I was tracking the Ardat-Yakshi, she is a dangerous criminal and I _will_ bring her to justice.” The Justicars voice hardened at the end, a flash of anger briefly breaking though the calm.

“I’m curious,” Shepard started, narrowing her eyes at the Justicar before her. “You’re sworn to follow a code that dictates your decisions to you. This mission isn’t going to be a clear cut, my enemy doesn’t play by the rules and that means I can’t either…”

Samara smiled softly, as if she had anticipated this topic would come up. “You wonder if I will refuse to follow orders because of my code?”

“I can’t allow that to happen,” Shepard started before Samara raised her hand to cut her off. The two women appraised each other, before Samara spoke again.

“By agreeing to follow you, I am compelled to swear to the most difficult of Justicar oaths, the Third Oath of Subsumation. Your orders become my Code, however, I will still provide you with my opinion if the situation warrants.”

Shepard tilted her chin up slightly, feeling that Samara had confirmed that she would follow whatever decision was made, even if she would give Shepard a hard time over some of them. It was enough for her though, and she held out her hand to the Justicar. Samara looked down at it briefly, before encircling Shepard's fingers with her own.

“The Normandy is docked near the main trading floor, I’ll see you aboard.”


	12. Messages

“Commander, Miranda has confirmed that she has an update on the scanner upgrades you requested.” EDI’s voice called out on the overhead comm link, patiently holding the line open for Shepard to reply. She checked her Omni-tool, putting the coffee mug she was holding down on the floor as she apologised to Donnelly and Daniels. Scanning over the tasks she had assigned herself, she didn’t have anything pressing that she needed to do, just checking over schedules and checking over reports.

“Where can I find her, EDI?” Shepard asked, shutting down her Omni-tool and grasping up her mug.

“She is currently in the XO Office on the Crew Deck, Commander.” The comm link clicked off, the AI having learnt that there was no point keeping it open after telling Shepard what she needed to know.

Shepard turned back to salute the two engineers, apologising again about having to leave mid-way through a heated debate over Donnelly’s poker prowess. Daniels laughed as pink bloomed up from the man’s neck, his normally cocky demeanour broken by the gentle ribbing coming from his co-worker _and_ his SO.

* * *

The door of the XO office slid open as Shepard approached, Miranda stood up from behind her desk and nodded politely before settling back down and tapping smartly at the console in front of her. A screen activated on the wall, Shepard walked over and took up position next to the desk, leaning her hip against the metal edge as Miranda’s slow and long strides brought her around, next to her.

“Jacob mentioned that there was an issue with our resources,” The XO started, bringing up a spreadsheet on the screen that displayed their stockpile and estimated usage. “The research completed by Mordin for upgrades has shown that we will extinguish our supplies in little over a week unless we can extract more quickly and efficiently.”

Miranda clicked over to show the current set up of the scanners, how they operated and efficiency over an hour. Shepard was nodding her head slowly, the limitations of the current scanners revealing themselves to her as she looked over the data.

“I have looked into the research that is available from other Cerberus Cells, and found some that wasn’t available…” The XO turned slightly to Shepard and smirk tugged at her mouth. Shepard raised her eyebrows, Miranda seemed loyal to a fault to Cerberus but apparently she was more than willing to flout the rules if it was needed.

“And?” Shepard asked, Miranda obviously wanting to show off her big breakthrough.

“And we can recalibrate the scanners to increase their radius easily enough, but if we link it up to the probes to EDI directly and then run them through the comms link, we can amplify the scan results to locate the resources with more accuracy.” The XO leant back on one leg and folded her arms, she looked pleased with herself as she stood admiring her handiwork on the screen.

“I’m guessing that was the short civilian version of what you’re actually going to do?” Shepard quipped, knowing that there was a more detailed version of what was actually required but fully accepting that she was no tech, and it would have gone straight over her head.

“Well, yes. But you get the idea. I can get this up and running in about a day. If you want we can head to the Eagle Nebula after and put it through it’s paces.” Miranda clicked off the screen and made her way back to her desk, boots clipping on the floor before she sat down gracefully. Folding her hands together and resting them on the desk in front of her, she waited politely for Shepard to give her the confirmation she needed to start the upgrades.

“Go for it, keep me posted though, and good work.” She stepped back towards the door and turned to leave as it opened. Miranda was still sat there, smiling softly as the Commander exited the XO Office.

* * *

Exiting the elevator, Shepard stepped out, her head bowed as she studied the datapad in her hand. She frowned, contemplating just how she was going to sort out the roster now that their crew was growing. With the upgrades that the Normandy needed to stand a fighting chance, there was more to do but while Garrus was more than happy to put himself to work in the main battery, she felt that she would be overstepping the line to ask Thane or Samara to help with the menial tasks that were catching up.

“Hello?” A voice called out to her, bringing her head up as she cleared her thoughts and tried to work out who had spoken.

Yeoman Chambers was stood at the comms terminal, buried deep in sorting though the messages that flooded the networks, sorting the wheat from the chaff. All the other crew were at their stations, busy in their own work. Shepard was starting to think that she had imagined it, maybe lack of sleep and reliance on caffeine was catching up with her.

“Commander?” Kaidan’s voice cut through as he appeared to her left. She wasn’t sure why he had come up to the CIC and if he just wanted to talk then he could have just messaged her to find him.

“What can I do for you, Alenko?” She asked as she walked over to her private terminal.

He seemed to baulk slightly at her use of his last name, stepping over to her slowly as if he was intruding. She tilted her chin to the ceiling as she asked EDI to patch her through to Joker.

“Commander.” The pilot stated simply, acknowledging her presence on the comm.

“Can you get us over to the Eagle Nebula? Doesn’t really matter what planet we head to, just need one to test out the scanner upgrades that Miranda says will be ready tomorrow.”

“Can do. Do you want the jump countdown?” He asked, the sound of programs being activated clicking over the comm as he set out the jump and contacted the relay for their approach.

“Not this time. Thanks.” She cut the comm, no doubt leaving Joker frustrated that he hadn’t managed to get a last minute barb in.

Flicking on the terminal screen, she looked at her mailbox. There was two unread messages waiting for her attention. One she didn’t want to open at all, the senders name making her want to both delete it and read it, so she compromised and left it sitting there. The second was from a name she never thought she would see in light of things. It had been classified in all but the message contents, she opened the file and scanned over the information contained.

“Shepard, are you just going to ignore me because if so, I have better things to be doing with my time.” Kaidan dropped his head down to partly obstruct her view. She exhaled steadily, annoyance bubbling up at his intrusion, knowing full well that she had been avoiding him since they returned with Samara because she really didn’t want to deal with his outburst back on Illium right now.

“I have a ship to run, Kaidan.” She simply said, refusing to make eye contact as he hovered off to her side. The orange glow from the console illuminated her face as she leant closer to re-read what was written in the file.

“You know what, fine.” He pulled back, folding his arms as he glared at her with disgust. “I was hoping for a personal debrief, talk over some things but I guess it’s too fucking inconvenient for you.”

She looked up, glancing quickly at Kelly to see if she had registered the outburst from Kaidan. If she had, the Yeoman was being professional about it and was still intently starring at her work. Kaidan pushed away from here he was leaning, his fingers flexing into fists and then straightening out again. The muscles in his chest flexed as he worked to keep his breathing steady, as if this were the key to not loosing control.

Her eyes followed the lines of his tattoos as he stood there, struggling to decide of he should stay or leave. Sweeping her gaze over his shoulders and down his arms, looking at the lines as they dipped below the belt at his waist. She felt her breath hitch as she tried to speak, instead uttering a croaky ‘ok’ as she dragged her eyes back to his.

“Ok what? Ok you’ll talk or ok I’m too inconvenient for you?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, the sudden motion tugging the waistband down slightly and leaving Shepard blushing slightly at the realisation that the tattoos carried on further than his hips.

“Let’s talk,” She said huskily, trying to rein in her imagination. Clearing her throat, she continued speaking. “It seems like you need to.”

He stepped back, waiting for her to lead the way. She clicked off her console, hoping that the pink that was softly colouring her neck and cheeks wasn’t too prominent in the more normal light.

Moving over to the elevator, she motioned for him to enter first. She stepped through, turning to face her as he walked backwards so to keep his eyes on her. She was sure that there was a heat in them that wasn’t there earlier, but the sudden switch from anger to whatever this was, she couldn’t get her head around.

When the doors opened out to the Crew Deck, Kaidan raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t paid attention to what deck she had selected but had assumed that they would be going somewhere more private for a personal debrief. Shepard stepped out and made her way to the gally, fully intending to make sure that there were people around so that she didn’t find herself doing something she knew she shouldn’t.

Grabbing a protein bar, she sat down at the empty end of the large table. Pulling a chair to the corner for Kaidan once he was ready, she pulled the wrapper off her bar, she didn’t really want it but if she had something else to focus on then she wouldn’t end up getting distracted by the man who was making his way over to her.

“So,” She said airily, trying to convince herself as much as him that the tension between them was imagined.

“So.” He echoed. He wasn’t great at starting difficult conversations, especially when those conversations needed to result in a ‘happy ending’. Being on his own meant that he could say whatever was in his head, however insulting and then walk away, a luxury that wouldn’t cut it here and he wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“Honestly I’m not sure what to do with you.” Shepard finally said. Fiddling with the wrapper in front of her so she didn’t have to look at him. “You’re abilities make you a valued member of a ground team but you running your mouth makes me want to leave you here.”

“This about Samara?” He questioned, sitting back in the chair. He folded his arms, tilting his chin up a little making him look defiant. Apparently, this wasn’t the direction he imagined the conversation to be going in so soon.

“Yes, it’s about Samara. You were out of line and could have compromised why we were even there.” She raised her eyes to study his reaction, trying to work out if he was going to accept the dressing down or if it was going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“So, I’m not allowed to give you my opinion, but it’s perfectly ok with you that she does it…” He left the sentence hanging between them as he glared at her hypocrisy.

“Samara can give her opinion, but I still know that she will do what I ask. I don’t know if you will…” Shepard tried to keep her tone level, wanting the words to sink in without it sounding like an attack on his character, even though she supposed, that’s exactly what it was.

He sat there, stunned at her words. The feeling of annoyance was swirling around in his chest but this time it was joined by hurt. He felt like a vice was slowly crushing him as he looked at her expressionless face, she didn’t even seem to care that she had just called him untrustworthy.

“If you think I’m a liability just tell me, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” His chest tightened as he spoke, images of his disciplinary meeting flashed in his mind, except it wasn’t Anderson who was sat at the table with the board deciding his fate, it was Shepard.

“I didn’t say you were a liability—” She started, trying to be as gentle as she could while getting the conversation back on track but Kaidan cut her off.

“You just said that I could have compromised the mission, that you don’t know if I will turn and walk.” He stood up, knocking his chair over as he got to his feet. “I don’t like being boxed in, _Commander._ If there’s one thing you need to learn it’s to _always_ leave yourself a way out.”

“Kaidan,” Shepard tried to soothe, watching as the tell-tale blue rippled fleetingly over his skin.

“Don’t ‘Kaidan’ me. You’ve said your piece. I can’t be trusted, and you don’t give a shit about my opinions.” His voice raised as he spoke, drawing sly glances from the crew who were here as they watched and muttered to watch other about his outburst.

The door to the Main Battery slid open and Garrus purposefully strode down the hallway. Shepard looked at him as he advanced, his faceplates knotted together as his anger at Kaidan’s words to the Commander drove him forwards.

Shepard stood up to try and get herself between the angry Turian and the Biotic in front of her. Raising her hands up to try and placate him, she watched as he stopped in the middle of the room and called out to them.

“When are you going to pull your head out of your ass and realise that Shepard gives you a far longer leash than the rest of us?” Garrus cocked his head, waiting for Kaidan to try and make a retort.

The Biotic turned back to Shepard, wondering if she was going to shut Garrus up in the same way she has silenced him. Was she going to give Garrus free rein to speak his mind while in a conversation about how he wasn’t allowed to because he was untrustworthy? He felt a twinge behind his eye, a subtle indicator that a migraine was about to break through, just what he needed to top this all off.

When Kaidan didn’t reply, Garrus marched the remaining steps to bring himself level with them. He pulled out another chair and sat down, his time at C-Sec and interrogation techniques being put to good use. He looked up at Kaidan as she stood there, the Biotic was angry but in this position Garrus wasn’t a threat.

“Look, when I joined Shepard the first time, I was a hot-head C-Sec officer. I hated the rules, the bureaucracy, it was just something that got in the way of doing my job. So when I got here, I didn’t want to play by the rules, I wanted to do it my way for once, get the bad guys without anything getting in my way.” He turned to Shepard, catching her expression to see if she wanted him to carry on. Her slight grin was all the incentive he needed. “We clashed heads, with her putting me in my place on more than one occasion. I argued with her on missions, but I also made sure that the most consistent thing I did was to tell her that I was right behind her, one hundred percent of the way.”

“Why are you telling me this? I’m not you.” Kaidan looked sternly at the Turian, not sure what the end purpose to this was.

“No, you’re not. But if you stopped thinking about your pride of five minutes, you’ll realise that she puts more faith in you than you are showing her you deserve.” He tapped his talons on the tabletop, each click seeming to mark the seconds that passed between them.

“What do you want me to do? This is who I am, I’m sorry if you want me to be someone else but you can’t pick and choose what parts of me you like and what you want to throw away.” He stood in front of them as Shepard took a seat again. This conversation was one that they had gone though before, the feeling that he would be better accepted if he could throw away most of who he was surged up, catching in his throat.

“I have never asked you to change Kaidan, I’m just asking for you to grow.” Her voice was soft, she had gone through this same type of conversation back when she was a fresh-faced XO, still feeling that the best way to get things done was with a bullet. She had to adapt, learn how to deal with all the back-room politics that the position came with, she had to grow. It was a tough lesson to learn, especially as the reason she got the position was _because_ of her ability to get things done with nothing more than a gun and her attitude.

“We’ve all grown, Kaidan,” The Turian added, his tone matching the gentleness that Shepard had used. “All gone from being people who talked with whatever gun was in our hands to being more rational.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan laughed out, the absurdity of what the Turian was saying compared to what he witnessed on the Citadel. “Rational? Last I heard you were trying to murder a man rather than be _rational_ about it.”

Garrus stiffened, his mandibles flaring as he bit down on his annoyance. Trust Kaidan to pick up on his one moment of weakness and throw it back in his face. He turned to Shepard, they looked at each other, silently wondering if they would be able to get the point they were trying to make across.

“I didn’t kill him, Kaidan. I wanted to, _really_ wanted to, but I didn’t. Shepard reminded me that there are some things you just have to let go.” The Turian turned his attention back to Kaidan, watching as the Human stumbled a little at the revelation. Whatever words he was going to throw, faltered on his lips.

Kaidan sat down again, slumping forward as the power behind his argument faded. The great Garrus Vakarian had admitted that he made a mistake, _almost_ made a mistake, because he let his temper and emotions run away with him. How the hell was he supposed to just stop being him though? How could he change overnight how he viewed the world and how he did things?

“Why do you want me to change who I am so much?” His voice sounded small, the fight now gone and anxiety in its place. He felt like he was back in that disciplinary all over again, listening to his flaws being read out as reasons to cast him aside, even though those same flaws were what they once told him made him invaluable to them.

“I don’t want you to change who you are, Kaidan. I just want a little respect for my decisions. I trust you so how about you return the favour.” Shepard balled her hand into a fist as she rested her arm on the table, knowing that frustration was getting the better of her as she tried to break down the walls Kaidan was insisting on building.

“There’s nothing more I think I can say,” Garrus said as he stood up again, pulling lightly on the neck of his hardsuit. “I’m going to get back to my calibrations.” He patted Shepard on the shoulder and nodded towards Kaidan as he retreated and left them to it. Shepard turned her attention back to Kaidan, wondering how they get one step forward to then go two steps backwards every single time.

“I do trust you, Shepard. I don’t know why you think I don’t. I’m still here, aligning myself with Cerberus of all people because I trust you.” He sighed, eyes falling to the tabletop and staring at nothing in particular.

“I get that you would rather be anywhere but here, it’s just… Giving me a hard time isn’t going to change the organisation that’s giving me the credits and resources to get this done.” She dipped her head down to try and catch his eye. He looked at her briefly before looking back down at the table again. Shepard sighed, knowing that she was fighting a battle that she wouldn’t win.

“Cerberus ruined my life, made me afraid of having anything other than my gun close to me. Whatever they tried to turn me into they didn’t completely destroy the man inside who still gets scared that anything I touch ends up dead.” He looked up nervously, realising that the crew that were at the other end of the table had overheard him and were whispering among themselves. “The only things I know are my Biotics and how fucking two-faced the universe is. I’ve worked for _and_ against the biggest scum that the galaxy has to offer. My ass has been saved on more than one occasion by reading peoples real intentions, the ones they try and hide behind smiles and pleasantries. Usually I’m the only one who gets to hear what I think but I guess you do too now.”

“Alright, keep speaking up then.” Shepard shrugged, this conversation was just going to go around in circles like last time. She never could convince him that he could let go and relax about things, even when all the evidence told him that he could.

“You realise the moment Samara realises who I am, she going to want me dead.” He laughed, trying to change the topic. It was always awkward when his past came up, Shepard didn’t seem to realise how deeply seated these feelings were, how ingrained they had become due to years of torture. She might never realise how big a step it was to stay here on the ship, a big step to get back to the man he was before all of this started.

“Well, I’ll tell her she can’t and then she will have to kill me first.” She grinned at him, she reached over and patted his hand, a gesture that was intended to let him know that whatever disagreement they may have been having was over.

He dropped his eyes again and looked at where their fingers touched. He wanted so much more but couldn’t. He knew that she wouldn’t come to harm but the attraction he felt was at war with the ingrained knowledge that he must not let her get close. He remembered the taste of her lips on his, the feeling as soft skin brushed up against his own. That kiss had been the least he wanted to do but the most he had dared, especially with her.

Shepard watched the steady rise and fall of his chest stutter as Kaidan looked at their hands. While he had already told her that he was attracted to her, it was more like a warning that his feelings may put her in danger. Watching him now however, it seemed like those feelings might have gone from something he didn’t want to something he did. She pulled her lower lip in between her teeth, trying to bite down on the giddy noise that was threatening to break free as she realised that if she was truly honest with herself, she would have taken him to her cabin the moment they almost kissed under Engineering.

Checking the clock above the table, it was almost time for her to get some rest before the early start she had planned herself. Pulling her hand away gently, she smiled at the man opposite her, reassuring him that she wasn’t retreating for any other reason than she needed to finish up the rest of her chores before she got some sleep.

* * *

Entering her cabin she felt exhausted, more so than if she had been groundside. Crawling through the ducts under engineering to help install the new T6-FBA couplings had been dirty and unforgiving work. Her fingertips were grazed as she fought with bolts in the confined space, oil smeared over her BDU’s and arms as she helped Daniels reroute the power and diagnostics through the couplings.

While she would never complain about helping out around the ship when people needed it, she couldn’t help but wonder _why_ the Illusive Man had left such a skeleton crew aboard one of, if not _the_ most advanced ships in the galaxy. Surely credits were not the limiting factor, was the lack of crew the reason that they had needed to recruit so many people for this ‘suicide mission’? The idea that there was only a basic crew from Cerberus itself so that if they failed, they wouldn’t lose too many of their own was a bitter but logical pill to swallow.

Shrugging off her BDU’s she stripped down and stepped into her personal shower. The thoughts of letting the water run over her for hours was a tempting one, but regardless of how much she ached, water was at a premium. Turning on the showerhead she ducked in, bracing herself against the cold until it warmed up, rubbing shower gel over the stubborn oil smears until she felt her skin prickle. Her hair was the last part to get attention, letting the water rinse the bubbles away of its own accord gave her time to just stand still and relax. She gave herself a final sluice down and turned the dial off, grabbing a towel from the pile and wrapping it around her before padding across the short space to her terminal.

She opened up the file again, re-reading the information that she had tried to before convincing herself to turn her attention to Kaidan. The file had been signed off even if the sender details were encrypted; Admiral Hackett. She steadied herself as she started to read again from the top, the words never really sinking in. They had found the Normandy, at least what was left of it if the message was true. Hackett knew that it would both open and close old wounds for her, the place that caused her death but also the place where twenty other crewmen were unaccounted for. Twenty other people that she couldn’t save and now she was being asked to retrieve their dog-tags, to give their relatives some closure.

The file lay open on her console as she let her mind drift back to the attack, arguing with Joker to get him off the Bridge as the stars became visible above them. She wanted to run down to the new Bridge and hug him, make sure that he was real. To lose twenty people was a sickening feeling, she didn’t know how many exactly had died during the attack and she had relied on her own decision that almost everyone had made it out. Relied on her belief that she had done her job as a CO and ensured that her crew were safe. Knowing that didn’t happen, that she failed in some way towards those twenty made her throat tight.

If she did go, she would have to tell Joker what was going on and the Doctor too. Even though Chakwas didn’t really bother herself with their locations, instead concentrating on ensuring the crew were as healthy as can be, if she asked anyone by way of making small talk then that could open up a whole heap of trauma. She would have to debrief them, let them know what Hackett had said and ensure they were ready for what might be found.

Stepping away from the console she walked down to the bed, throwing the towel on the sofa before pulling open a drawer and gathering up a t-shirt and shorts. Tugging them on she fell heavily onto the bed, exhaustion and hurt clashing together to diminish what little energy she had left. Crawling awkwardly under the cover she set her alarm for 04:30, grimacing that it was only five hours away and purposefully shut her eyes to demand sleep came to her.

* * *

Kaidan was restless as he tossed and turned on the cot, trying to get comfortable enough for the niggling worry to leave his mind. The dull ache behind his eye was still there but at this point he wished it would just manifest itself into a migraine to get the damn thing over with.

His mind kept going back to the conversation, replaying Shepards face over and over, seeing her annoyance at him and then the warmth in her face as she touched him. Staring at the ceiling above him he forced his eyes to count the bars of the walkway that was overhead, looking for something to take his mind off _her._ flexing his fingers inadvertently, he felt the skin there warm slightly, the ghost of her touch still lingering.

Screwing his eyes shut and swinging his legs over the side of the cot, the bare metal of the floor cool under his feet, he slouched forward. She had told him that he needed to wait until after that had gone to sort out his demons before she would entertain anything between them. That attraction that he was sure was mutual, but he felt to scared to let it develop.

It would have been easier if he wasn’t on the ship, wasn’t in her presence twenty four-seven. Things would have been so much easier to deal with if he knew that they could both have their fun and then walk away from each other. He wasn’t proud of the fact that he had done that before, hooked up with someone to enjoy the highs, as he knew that he had been used in just the same way on countless occasions. Sex had been something to release the tension and to enjoy because both parties involved were well aware that neither of them would be there in the morning. Now though, it wasn’t just about sex, he was wanting something more and it was terrifying.

His mind ticked over, always coming back to Shepard. He had told her that he was attracted to her, but he had also told her that he couldn’t be with her. Is that why she was putting him off? She thought that he just wanted to sleep with her and then leave, have his fun and slip away in the middle of the night. Would she lead him on just to ensure that he stuck around long enough to get the job done, without any real intention of reciprocating how he felt about her? Even when he had not cared about being just a warm body on a lonely night in the past, the thought that Shepard would play into that to get what she needed made his stomach plummet.

Pulling up his Omni-tool he squinted at the screen to read the time, 0138. All they were doing was scanning tomorrow, there was nothing that he strictly needed to be up for if he couldn’t fall asleep until later. He knew that he should at least try and get some rest, maybe even go to the Doctor and see if she could give him anything to knock him out and shake off this fucking headache. Grunting softly he shook his head, trying to clear it and settle back down but that niggle wasn’t shifting.

Pulling on his trousers, he clipped up his belt. There was one place he needed to be and it wasn’t here. He left his boots behind as he climbed up the stairs, his legs feeling like they were making their own way to wherever they wanted to go and he was just along for the ride. Stopping outside the elevator he waited for the door to hiss open, deciding to ignore the voice in his head that screamed for him to turn around and walk away.

The elevator opened up again at a short walkway, the red holo of the next door glowing in the muted light. The reality of where he was and what he was about to do washed over him and he almost stepped backwards to make his retreat. Now he was here though, it was if pride was driving him forward. He needed to do this, needed to know where he stood in the grand scheme of things, even if the pain behind his eye was transforming into a personal thunderstorm for his brain.

* * *

Shepard stirred slightly in her sleep, the image in her head of her banging against the escape pods as she drifted in space making her breath speed up. The people in her dream had no idea it was her outside, desperately trying to find sanctuary from her inevitable death, for them it was debris hitting the pod, a reminder that they were not safe yet but it was within reach.

Her dream self pounded harder, the side of her palms aching, bones seeming to fracture as she silently begged for entry. Her air supply streaming out behind her as she desperately tried to let them know that she was still outside. Frowning subconsciously, she couldn’t understand how they didn’t work out it was her. The noise she was making was so loud. She hit the pod again, the noise seemed to reverberate around her.

Jolting awake, her eyes adjusted to the blue that glared at her from the aquarium. The noise she had imagined had followed her, hearing the sound of hands pounding on metal. She choked back a sob, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she tried to fight down her memories of dying. The noise abated, as she managed to pull herself back to where she was and where she was very much alive.

Stumbling up she pushed a button on the aquarium to turn off the internal lights, leaving only the soft glow of consoles and datapads to illuminate the space. She sat down heavily on the end of the sofa, the clock on her bedside table said it was nearly 0200. She was supposed to be up in less than three hours and so far had managed only a few hours of restlessness.

The noise started again, Shepard pulled her knees up to her chin as she sat there. She couldn’t be going crazy, not now after everything that had happened. Pulling herself back into the room she listened, waiting for her brain to make the noise again, wanting to find it and show herself that it was just her imagination.

Her eyes fell on the door as the noise started up again, this time more frantic. She padded over gently, holding her breath as she approached. She dropped her hand through the holo, expecting to prove to herself that she was just experiencing the aftermath of a nightmare, except the sound wasn’t her nightmare coming to haunt her waking hours. The sound was from Kaidan.

She jumped back as the door opened, Kaidan’s fist poised to strike the door again as he squinted at her. He collapsed against the door frame, relief washing over him as he managed to focus on the person stood in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” She blurted out, adrenaline flooding thorough her as she readied herself.

“I needed to see you,” He whispered, trying to open his eyes fully as even the glow from her console burned his vision. “please.”

Shepard was by his side in an instant as he sagged down, his face screwed up in pain. Leading him back towards the bed he collapsed down heavily, his hand coming up to shield his eyes from the dim light in the room. Stepping away she turned off the console and killed the screen on the datapad, pausing as her eyes adjusted to the darkness she now found herself in. Slowly she made her way back to the bed, kneeling lightly on it as she shuffled her way back to the pillows and propped one up behind her.

Pulling Kaidan’s arm gently she guided him up the bed and let him rest against her, running her fingers through his hair as he nestled his head in her lap.

“Why did you need to see me?” She asked softly, she felt him run a hand down his face before his hand grasped her leg to pull her tightly to him. She wasn’t sure if he would be able to answer, if the migraine she was sure he was suffering from would prevent him or if he just wouldn’t be able to find the words.

“I needed to make sure you knew something.” Came the muffled reply. He sucked in air through clenched teeth as he tried to power through the feeling of claws as they raked over his brain.

“Tell me.” Shepard kept her voice low, pulling the sheet over him as he curled up.

He lay there silently, eyes firmly shut as Shepard continued to stroke his hair. She held her breath, trying to listen for signs that he was still awake, but she couldn’t make anything out. Placing her hand on his shoulder she exhaled slowly, feeling adrift over what he was going to tell her. For him to come up here to find her in the throws of a migraine, it must have been important, but she couldn’t disturb him now to try and find out what. She wasn’t sure if in the morning he would want to talk about it though, likely brushing it off as a moment of weakness brought on by the pain.

* * *

The alarm trilled loudly next to her ear as her eyes fluttered open. Her back was killing her and she found herself sat upright against the headboard and the pillow she had been using sagged down behind the small of her back. She surveyed the bed and found herself alone, the man who had crawled to her in the middle of the night seeking sanctuary and to tell her something he needed her to know was gone.

She made her way to the table by the sofa, clicking on the datapad, wondering if he had left her a note there, but she found nothing. Opening her Omni-tool she checked for new messages but only the one she refused to read remained. Turning on the lights in her cabin she asked EDI where Kaidan was.

“Kaidan Alenko is below engineering. He is currently asleep,” EDI politely trilled. “Would you require me to notify him that you would like to see him when he is awake?”

“No, its fine.” Shepard replied, annoyed that he had slunk off in the early hours to find restfulness in the military issue cot rather than stay with her. He’d used her to soothe his head and then made off when she wasn’t needed anymore.

EDI clicked off, and Shepard pulled on the Cerberus issue BDU’s. She hated putting them on, especially after reading that message from Hackett. The Alliance had been her family, and then they cut her adrift, preferring to carry on the façade that she was dead unless they needed her for something. Anderson was the only one who seemed interested in her still being alive but her connections with Cerberus clouded even his judgement of her.

“EDI,” She called out after getting dressed, tucking her hair behind her ears as she looked at her reflection in the polished metal that served as a mirror. She heard the static of the open comm and continued. “Can you ask Joker and Dr. Chakwas to meet me in the Communication Room in ten minutes.”

“Of course, Commander.” The AI replied, clicking off again as Shepard stepped through her door and into the small corridor.

* * *

“Is something the matter, Commander?” Chakwas asked, hesitantly. In the time she had served with the Commander, never before had she been summoned to a briefing, and to only have the pilot with them made her sense something was off.

Shepard logged into her personal messages and pulled up the file that Hackett had sent her, letting the two of them read it themselves. She leant forward over the table, hunched over as she stared at her fingertips until a murmur made her lift her head.

“Is this real? They want you to go back to the Normandy?” Chakwas muttered, here eyes catching Jokers. They stared at each other long and hard, both reliving the situation they found themselves in after the devastation.

“Apparently, it’s real. The rest of the crew won’t understand the significance but it I couldn’t even try to sneak this past you two.” Shepard gestured vaguely to the screen on the wall, still unsure about how to feel about all of this.

“The Alliance threw us out, why don’t they send their own crew to do this?” Joker seethed, well aware that he played a role in Shepard’s death. He wasn’t sure if she would be able to forgive him again if they went back and she saw what was left of the Normandy.

“I think Anderson convinced Hackett that it was the right thing to do,” She said softly, this was going to be hard on them, harder still as they didn’t have the surviving crew to lean on like the old days.

“Right thing my ass.” The pilot shakily approached her as he spoke. “Are they trying to drive a wedge between you and Cerberus or one between us? Or hell, I don’t know, why not both.”

“I’ve already told Anderson that if the Alliance were to tell me that they were going to go after the Collectors I would join them in a heartbeat.” She told him, calm in the face of his annoyance.

“Oh I bet the Illusive Man just loved that.” Joker smirked, folding his arms as he leaned heavily on the table.

“The Illusive Man fully expects me to leave at any time, he’s hoping that if he throws enough credits and resources at me I will complete the mission under Cerberus yellow rather than Alliance blue.”

Chakwas approached her, her face full of concern. Shepard knew what question was coming before she even uttered it but braced herself for it anyway.

“How are you holding up?” The doctor asked, her hand coming to rest on Shepard forearm.

“Last night I had a nightmare. I was banging on escape pods trying to get in, but no one heard me.” She looked down, not wanting to see the expression she just _knew_ was all over Jokers face.

“Commander, _Abi…_ ” Joker bridged the gap and tentatively wrapped his arms around her. She desperately wanted to hug him back but she was worried that she would land him in the Med Bay being sorted out for broken bones. As a compromise, she rested her head on his, feeling the cap he always wore get knocked slightly.

“I know you’ll want to do this, Shepard. But also know that we are behind you.” Chakwas squeezed her arm as she spoke, as if the pressure would cement the meaning of her words.

Shepard tried not to cry for the first time in years.

* * *

Miranda had joined Shepard on the Bridge as they put the scanners through their paces. The terminal in front of the Commander highlighting the result and EDI running comparisons with similar planets they had scanned in the past with the old configuration.

“it’s a thirty-seven percent upgrade as it stands, with room for improvements of course.” Miranda cooed, pleased at the results but already planning how to squeeze even more out of them.

“Commander, would you like me to deploy a probe?” EDI asked, her blue holo form flashing as she spoke.

“We should see an advanced pick up rate of whatever we land it near, right?” Shepard asked, looking at both Miranda and the holo to confirm.

“Yes,” The XO took the lead and stood over Shepard’s shoulder. “The drones inside the probe are linked up to EDI, she’s then able to more accurately direct them to the dig sites which saves time. So overall we are more efficient in out resource collecting.”

“That is correct.” The AI chimed in. “I can simultaneously direct the hundreds of drones to pinpoint locations. This reduces the need for test drilling as the accuracy of the deposits are now increased prior to deployment.”

Joker rolled his eyes as he sat next to her, his distaste for the AI being installed never hidden from his CO. Shepard dropped her head, pretending to study something on the screen to better hide her smile.

“Alright, EDI. Launch one and lets see what happens.”

“Probe away.” EDI replied as the three Humans watched the trajectory on the console.

“It’s hit the target with very minor drift.” Miranda commented and nodding lightly, looking over the drone data as it came in.

“The resources detected will be gathered in approximately two hours and fifty-four minutes.” The AI announced as the status of the individual drones scrolled past on the screen.

Shepard got up, there wasn’t much more they could do but wait and see if they had managed to get more resources in a shorter timeframe. With countless tasks still requiring her attention she made her move to go, nodding at the pilot and XO as they acknowledged her departure.

* * *

They had spent a week solidly scanning and sending out probes. Travelling through the separate systems within the cluster they managed to find at least some undiscovered resources on the already pillaged gas giants and uninhabitable rocks.

The advisory warning on rampant piracy had raised a few eyebrows but the few ships that they had encountered gave them a wide berth. Shepard knew that the technical details of the Normandy-SR2 were highly confidential, so the only reason for their avoidance could only be attributed to the colours they were flying, and that was something that troubled her.

Garrus had also come to her as they were waiting out the testing. Grunt was getting restless, and it was only a matter of time before it spilled out into something more. Shepard sighed, Garrus laughing as he knew exactly how she felt. They would have to make a stop to see an old friend sooner rather than later, that was for sure.

Mordin was happy however, the resources gathered meant that he was able to implement some of the research he had been working on, allowing for upgrades to be made for weapons and armor. He quipped about how his work on the Collectors must continue, talking a mile a minute about scientific things that Shepard didn’t even want to pretend she understood.

“I won’t bore you with it, no, but it explains their lack of art.” Mordin chattered as he bustled about behind his desk.

“I didn’t realise you cared about that sort of thing…” Shepard frowned as she spoke. Art seemed such a whimsical thing considering Mordin’s blunt personality.

“Personal interest negligible, sang in a little multi-species production for cultural exploration. Gilbert and Sullivan always had me do the patter songs but not about me. Cultural artistic expression reflects philosophical evolution, interest in growth perspective, observation, interpretation. Suspect you won’t see any art in Collector base, culturally dead, tools for Reapers, or worse than…” Mordin stopped talking abruptly, cradling his elbow in one hand as he ran his fingers along his chin, lost in thought again.

“I’m sorry, I know that was important but, you performed Gilbert and Sullivan?” Shepard exclaimed, holding up a hand to stop the Salarian from going off on another tangent.

Mordin smiled lightly and stepped around the desk, Shepard crossed her arms, waiting for whatever explanation that was going to rush out of his mouth next. Instead, he broke out into song.

“I am the very model of a scientist Salarian! I've studied species, Turian, Asari, and Batarian. I'm quite good at genetics, as a subset of biology. Because I am an expert, which I know is a tautology. My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian -I am the very model of a scientist Salarian!”

He threw his arms open wide, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back to raise his face towards the ceiling before lowering them and returning to his position behind his desk. He raised his hand and coughed; the awkwardness written all over his face.

Shepard smiled slowly; she was definitely seeing that there was more to him than met the eye. “Thanks, Mordin. I see you have all the motivation you need for your research.”

The Salarian nodded in return, “Pleased to be here, thanks for including me.”

She left the Tech Lab feeling glad that she did.


End file.
